February 11, 2005 10:32 AM
Fifty years of marriage
In 1997, as a still newbie writer, I landed this assignment: interview couples married more than 50 years and find out the secrets of their success. The article was published in the May/June 1998 issue of Plain Truth, one of my favorite magazines to write for. You can see it online at Golden Secrets: From Survivors of 50+ Years of Marriage (minus the before and after photos of the couples that made the story so sensational).
It was such an engaging article to work on. The couples I interviewed had so much to share, and I got the feeling that people seldom took the time to listen. Now, recalling events, they dragged out all the photo albums and letters -- especially when the husbands had been stationed overseas. Each interview took hours. I didn't mind. With no grandparents around of my own, I was eager to hear everything they had to say.
It was amazing to me how the couples had made their decisions to marry so quickly and how the weddings had been such simple affairs. Affirming too, since Tripp and I married three months after our first date. It reminded me how Dr. Dobson always says love isn't a feeling, but a decision. These couples made a decision to move forward with their lives together, made their commitments without a lot of fanfare, then focused on keeping them.
When it came to their secrets of staying together, it was refreshing to hear not one word about date nights and bubble baths (with a certain number of kids, you finally get that it's not about you at all -- I mean, did Biblical couples have the time for romance?) but tried and true simple maxims like "Don't spend what you don't have" and "Don't go to bed angry." I really think nowadays we expect too much from marriage.
Anyway, for more, see the article -- one couple is particularly interesting because they were Christians who fled here from Iran.
What reminded me of my article was a piece in last week's World magazine, called Lasting Love, which celebrates Valentine's Day with the story of five couples married 50+ years. It's by a writer whose work I've admired for years -- Lynn Vincent. And if you can get your hands on the magazine, the photos are wonderful. Isn't it amazing how everyone looked like movie stars back then?
I'd love to see an article like this every year. I can't imagine a better way to celebrate Valentine's Day, can you?
Posted in Family, Marriage | Permalink
