February 9, 2005 4:50 PM
In quietness and confidence
I don't know about the issue of women in church leadership. For a former radical feminist who became a follower of Christ at 38 and then had to sort out my role as wife and mother through a new prism, it seems odd to encounter women searching for a new paradigm in the church.
I know I don't like at all the women who run around claiming to be driven to do this and that by the Holy Spirit. It seems so presumptuous, as though they think their fellow believers never made that acquaintance.
Here's an example: One Sunday our pastor delivered a message about forgiveness that seemed complete and satisfying. There'd been a low-key altar call with individual prayer and the service was drawing to a close when a "leader"-type woman took the microphone to share all the thoughts the pastor's sermon had stirred up in her. It was an intensely personal, way-over-the-top emotional story of how she had forgiven her mother.
I felt resentful, kinda like when I go to the movie and have to sit through a car commercial. "This is why women shouldn't speak in church," I thought. I mean, the tone was so wrong -- more fitting to a woman's bible study -- or maybe even an old-fashioned consciousness-raising session. I asked my 21-year-old son what he thought and he said it sounded like something more appropriate to therapy.
When I came home complaining to Tripp (he'd stayed home with the sick kids), he told me she'd done the same thing a couple months before (when I'd stayed home with that round of sick kids). Later I learned that this had happened with some regularity -- these little postscripts to the sermon. Our pastor said that since he tended to be too controlling, he was hesitant to stop the flow of the Holy Spirit.
I think she got away with it because she was a woman.
What part of the process did she not understand? Did she not trust the pastor to deliver the message he was supposed to? Did she not know that we all have personal responses to the sermon? Did she not trust the Holy Spirit to make the right connections for us?
The whole deal with letting men lead -- in our homes, our churches, our communities -- has to do with trust. I'm a woman with strong leadership tendencies myself, but when I became a Christian I decided to let my husband be the captain of our ship. Has he made mistakes? Yes, and some have set us back financially. Would I like to be able to get new sheets and towels? Yes, but it's more important that I learned to trust him (and God) through thick and thin.
This is such a complicated issue and there's so much more to say. Bringing up four boys (now 17-21), I've had to rethink a lot of my old feminist ideas. Lucky for them. I would have been a terrible mother to boys (I'll post later how I came to grips with the boys-and-guns issue), but God got my attention in time. I've tried my best to bring them up to be strong leaders, husbands and fathers, but also gentle and tender and with great respect for the unique wisdom women possess.
Because I do think women are very wise and men need to know that. It's just that -- in my opinion -- we're at our best when we go about it quietly.
Posted in Church Issues, Feminism, Religion | Permalink
Comments
Ummm,are you saying women can never be lead by the Spirit into leadership roles in the church?
I understand the frustration with a woman who trespasses over social-theraputic boundaries but I've witnessed plenty of men doing the same thing with "personal" testamonies. The issue isn't with the gender of the trespasser but with the lack of boundary recognition.
It is very hard for pastors and congregations to "shut down" people who don't recognize that they've share inappropiately. But it really does need to happen for the health of a congregation and the for the person who is sharing inappropriately - they need help.
Rev. N
Posted by: Rev. N | February 10, 2005 1:43 AM
I agree.
Posted by: Mel | February 10, 2005 1:56 AM
Thanks for making that distinction between therapeutic "sharing" and leadership. I've really never seen a man spout off that inappropriately, but if I did I'd probably think it was due to all the current gender confusion -- you know, forcing men to get "in touch with their feelings" -- thanks to the Second Wave of Feminism. I'm still repenting for my own role in that (yes, I know I'm forgiven - just a manner of speech).
But, no, I do not think women should be pastors or elders. I think they should lead other women and children, perhaps be invited to give testimonies once in a while -- if their testimony would be useful to both sexes. I think the same cause that prompted feminism is the root of the dissatisfaction of women in the church with their biblical role. I'll blog about this at more length -- maybe tomorrow as I have something more pressing for today
Posted by: barbara curtis | February 10, 2005 7:30 AM
I'm with you, Barbara. Men should lead. Many women would balk at that, but that's too bad. It's God's order of things. Blessings!
Posted by: Kim | February 10, 2005 8:36 PM
1 Tim. 2:12 - "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
Women leading in churches is not biblical. (And, arguably, women speaking out in a church is not biblical either.) And I say this as a person who's all about girl-power. :) This is hard for many gifted, outgoing, articulate, spiritual women to accept, but that's how God has ordained it. As Christians, we cannot pick and choose which scriptures we wish to obey and which ones are not "convenient or fun" to obey.
I agree with you Barbara - women should teach other women, especially other younger women. If we treasure what God says about this, our hearts (desires) will follow.
Titus 2:4 - "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children . . ."
Posted by: Amy | February 11, 2005 6:21 PM
I had to laugh at your comment that this is why women shouldn't speak at church! I have made the same comment to my husband on many such occasion! Amen!
Posted by: Kari | August 8, 2005 10:27 AM
