May 25, 2005 7:39 AM
How I became a Montessori Mama
Funny how one book can change your life completely.
When Samantha Sunshine was born in 1969 I was determined to become the best mother I could be. Most mommies feel that way, of course, but I had an extra dollop of motivation because of my hardscrabble background, which included divorce, alcoholism, foster home, abuse, poverty, and neglect - a list I share not for sympathy's sake but to show that anyone can rise above any circumstances if they truly want to.
When you haven't had a good role model, mothering doesn't come naturally. I had to think things through. I had to watch other mommies. I had to read a lot.
Samantha's dad and I were living in Alexandria, Virginia in Parkfairfax - a community of solidly built brick townhouses built in the early 40's which had been the luxury rentals of their time and once housed people like Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. In the late 60's they rented at a price young marrieds could afford and we were surrounded by couples like us with one or two kids. At night, we poured out on the grassy slopes between our buildings and played frisbee. When it snowed, we went sledding. When Samantha was three and we moved to San Francisco, Parkfairfax was just beginning to convert our homey little rentals to condominiums. Today they sell in the high 300,000s.
So much can happen over time . . .
Anyway, a couple moved in who had come from Chicago to study at the Washington Montessori Institute, which at the time was in downtown DC. I knew nothing about Montessori, but I was curious so I checked a book out of the library: The Absorbent Mind.
Wow. Montessori's ideas were so real, and so true and so exciting as I saw them lived out in the development of my daughter, that I decided I had to know everything. Since the Montessori Institute required a degree for admission and since I had dropped out after one semester of college, that meant going back to school. After two years of carrying overloads at George Mason University, I begged the Institute to let me in three semesters short of my degree (which I finished up at the ripe old age of 32 at San Francisco State University - what a wild ride that was!)
My training was a full school year of 9-5. It was the best! I taught for a year in Washington DC and four years in San Francisco and Marin.
But what I never dreamed was how God would use my Montessori training to help me as a mother - and finally to help other mothers too! While I loved teaching in the classroom, the greatest satisfaction has been to hear from mothers who've learned to understand how their child's mind works and to create an environment that leads their child to become more independent, more focused, more self-controlled, and more happy.
Mommies: I promise you that even just a little knowledge about the Montessori approach will not only help your children reach their potential, but will help you reach yours as well. The Absorbent Mind is excellent, but not the easiest read as it was written at the turn of the century and translated from Italian. There are other books out there, including but not limited to my own. For starters, you could try The Mommy Manual or go to amazon and search under Montessori for many other books out there.
Don't forget to let me know how it goes. Even a few little changes will make life with your children so much more rewarding!
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Comments
Okay, okay, I'll order it!
Posted by: Mel | May 25, 2005 10:46 AM
Hi Barbara,
Can you help me out? I have long 'reacted' when I hear someone talk about Montessori schools. I first exposed myself to her ideas about 12-14 years ago when we began exploring home education. I have the same basic 'reaction' to La Leche League... mostly because at a LLL meeting the discussion was deep into "your husband is your helper, it's your job to nurse the baby"...
At any rate, the 'child-centered' part has always been tough for me to grasp as working within Biblical precepts... are we the center of God's plan? I just can't make the jump.
However, I have been trying to find online comparisons between Maria Montessori and Charlotte Mason, for example. And I have to admit that I like the natural fibers and wooden toys, etc. that the Montessori approach is known for. Can you share how you see the Montessori approach fits into Biblical child-training/raising/educating? Do you have any reservations about portions of her philosophy?
Thanks for your blog...it is a source of encouragement for this 40-something mom of six, including one with Ds... I love 'My little extra'!!!
Posted by: Stephanie | May 25, 2005 2:19 PM
Thanks for introducing me to Montessori - Honestly, I didn't know much about it until I started reading your site. I'll plan on checking out The Absorbent Mind next time I'm at the library!
Posted by: Amy | May 25, 2005 5:54 PM
Stephanie -- A lot of Montessori depends on who's teaching. I have to confess that when I was a teacher, I taught my kids meditation and visualization because that was where I was at then.
But there are many good spiritually neutral or Christian Montessori schools. I know nothing about Charlotte Mason, because I already had a plan that worked for me when I started homeschooling. What I mostly value about the Montessori method is that she "discovered" the sensitive periods -- windows of opportunity when children are ready to learn certain things. If the right cues are available in the environment at the right time, then the child will learn naturally and easily. If it comes too late, learning will be difficult and therefore less joyful. This means when a three-year-old picks up a broom and wants to sweep, we do best to show them then (of course not expecting perfect results).
I really like the Montessori approach to developing concentration, independence and self-control.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | May 25, 2005 6:07 PM
Hi Barbara,
we also started our journey into Montessori with Absorbent Mind. Though English is not our mother tongue it was so interesting and amazing that we read it and we are coming back to it many times to remember it well.
I really like the thing that Montessori has a good pedagogical and psychological base and when you read her books and other books about the method you are more and more sure that it will work, that it is the best what you can give to your children but also to yourself.
Thank you for your website. My wife and I have also started a blog on our experiences on Montessori Method. It is an English site at the beginning but at the end we would like to translate all into Polish. There is still few books and resources about Montessori Method in Poland and we would like to change it because we thing it is the best thing we can ever give to our next generations.
Kind regards
Joanna and Rafal Szczypka
Posted by: Rafal | December 17, 2007 9:20 AM
