May 23, 2005 9:00 AM
No more chore wars
If getting your children to help with housework seems like an uphill battle, maybe you need to shift your focus from how they should work to why. Once you understand how important chores are in releasing a child’s potential, you’ll find it easier to take a positive approach, be more consistent, and get through the inevitable tough times.
The why of chores is this: children need responsibility at home to reach their full potential. Requiring our kids to complete their chores doesn’t just ease the burden for us - it releases the best in them.
Focus on the following guidelines and you’ll see the benefits of your kids carrying out household responsibilities.
Start Them Young
“No, Maddie, you’re not ready to sweep yet,†Dad says, taking the broom away from his three-year-old daughter. Three years later, when Dad thinks it’s time for Madison to sweep, she balks.
Why?
God built into our kids sensitive periods for learning domestic tasks is in the preschool years. So encourage them when they want to help.
Use Incentives
While we all want is children with hearts to serve, we can use incentives to form good work habits.
Use timing: “You need to clean your room before you go out to play.†“I know you want to see a movie today. I’ll take you to the 2:00 show if you can get the lawn mowed by then.â€
The idea is that we do our work, then we reward ourselves.
Make Things Possible
“Me do it!†Tyler says. Mom may think it unlikely that a two and a half year old could peel carrots. And yet, with a little careful thought about the how the task is sequenced, she can help him do it.
When Tyler and Madison succeed at tasks, they want to repeat them. Preschoolers have a natural inclination to give their best at any chores we teach them.
Revise Your Expectations
Once you’ve thought through a chore and taught the sequence to a younger child, be ready to receive her work graciously. Make a decision in advance to accept your child's personal best as though it were the best.
Try a Team Approach
Housework is everyone’s job. Do the math with your kids: if one person works alone, cleaning house might take four hours. But if four work together, it will take only one -- leaving more time for fun together.
Organize with shared housework in mind. A stool in the laundry room means even the shortest family members can help fold clothes. Dishes on the bottom shelves enable a three year old to put away dishes or a four year old to set the table without help.
On housecleaning day, get everyone involved – really involved. Some parents make a list for each child. I like to make just one list of all that needs to be done, give my kids a chance to choose what they're going to do, and then turn them loose. When everything’s done, everyone can relax.
Get the Big Picture
With your kids and a stack of National Geographics, make a collage of pictures, children all over the world helping their parents in the home: African girls walking back to their village with stacks of shiny silver fish on their heads, Mexican children helping mama pound the corn to make tortillas, children from every corner of the world sweeping huts, fetching water, washing clothes by rivers and spreading them to dry, toting younger siblings for busy parents.
Even though in our society we may not need our children’s help quite this much, there’s still a lot to be gained from following this pattern. Write this verse, “Serve one another in love†(Galatians 5:13), and your collage will be a constant reminder to your children of how important they are to their family.
Posted in Mothering | Permalink
