June 30, 2005 2:29 PM
Ephesians 5:21-33
I was invited to participate in this meme by Kate at Heart Speaks to Heart Thanks, Kate!
Read the passage from Ephesians 5:21-33:
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband
Answer these questions:
1. Why do you think this passage is such a incendiary one for women and men?
Because we are flawed human beings, filled with fear.
1 1/2. Was it ever that way for you? If so, how was your heart changed?
I’m still flawed, but no longer filled with fear. I’m kind of a stereotype: raised without a father, sexually abused as a child – reacted by taking charge, becoming promiscuous and experimental myself. One of the founding mothers of the Second Wave of feminism, circa 1969 or so, fought for abortion rights. By the time I married Tripp in 1983, I was committed to a monogamous relationship, but was still mistrustful of men and prone to anger at the slightest provocation. Submission was certainly not a word in my vocabulary – at least as applied to me. Thank God Tripp had a strong personality and I was seldom able to steamroller over him. Because we both thought we were in charge, because we were not Christians and had no faith, trust, or model of submission, our marriage was doomed – until we met Christ in 1987 and in accepting him, accepted God’s plan for marriage.
I now trust God and my husband. My husband has made mistakes which he might not have made had I been more pushy about having things my way, but I am more satisfied with myself and my marriage for having reached the point where I can trust God and let Tripp lead. Ironically, though we are dealing with the aftermath of the mistakes, I am much more at peace than I would be had I been outside God’s will, imposing my will on my husband. Though he makes mistakes, I’ve learned I can still respect and love Tripp. That’s a good feeling for both of us.
2. What is God trying to tell us through St. Paul in this scripture reading?
It’s a blueprint for a healthy marrage – a marriage that will last. It’s based not on fear, but on selfless love – of both husband and wife.
3. How does a misunderstanding or lack of understanding of God's plan for marriage revealed through this scripture damage marriages?
A woman who cannot submit to her husband never conquers her fear. A husband who is not allowed to make mistakes cannot learn from them. Neither learn to look heavenward and put their trust in the Lord.
4. How can men and women come to understand it better?
By making a decision to follow God’s will and to model their marriage on his word, then experiencing the results. And the results must be understood in light of our faith. A successful marriage looks very different from God’s perspective than from the world’s.
Posted in Marriage | Permalink
Comments
How about another meme on five things you miss from your childhood? Consult my blog for more info if you want to take part.
Posted by: Cheryl (Reformed Musings) | June 30, 2005 5:53 PM
hi cheryl --
julana already tapped me for this and here's what i explained to her:
"I so loved reading your memories about your childhood. I feel like the little matchgirl looking in your warm windows. As I've written in several places, mine was not a carefree childhood, but one filled with abandonment and abuse. I really prayed last night that God would show me anything sweet I needed to remember, but still came up empty this morning. The good news is that God is a father to the fatherless, that I am a new creation, and that I have the privilege of providing a happy home and sweet memories for my own children. Reading yours helps me enormously and fills me with hope. Many, many thanks."
I am very much enjoying reading everyone's memories. I love knowing that people had happy childhoods -- it's my greatest hope for my own kids.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | June 30, 2005 6:50 PM
Thank you, Barbara, for putting into words the MAIN reason that women don't (or won't) submit to their husbands: fear. Fear of letting go, fear of losing control, just plain fear. I have been struggling in this area, and after reading your post, I now know WHY I "can't" submit - I'm afraid! I am definitely taking this to the LORD and repenting of my fear! Thanks, thanks, thanks!
Posted by: Kathy | June 30, 2005 7:57 PM
Wow. Great post. Thanks.
Posted by: Amy K. | July 1, 2005 11:33 AM
Oh, you just reminded me I've gotta do that one too! But you're answers are so good I think I'll just send them here.
I'm reading Save a Marraige Save A Nation by D. James Kennedy. It is a great little book for putting things like this in proper context and order.
Spunky
Posted by: Spunky | July 1, 2005 9:54 PM
Thanks Barbara! Well said!
Posted by: Karen | July 5, 2005 9:01 AM
