September 14, 2005 3:32 PM
Worn out welcome
Ever had a guest you wish you hadn't invited? Maybe you were looking forward to a little fun and found a lot of wasted time instead. If so, maybe you'll tune right in to this picture of an ungracious guest.
He dominates the room, grabbing attention whenever he can.
But a little attention is never enough; he’s always demanding more. He monopolizes time and conversations, making it difficult to get a word in edgewise. His voice is too loud, his manners pathetic. He swears and takes God's name in vain, has little respect for family ties, pokes fun at things that matter deeply, tells off-color jokes in front of the children.
Yet he's one of the most popular guests in town. Despite his atrocious manners, his calendar is full – all day, all night, weekdays, weekends, rain or shine, in sickness or in health.
And he doesn't discriminate. You'll find him in the poorest homes and the richest, among the happy and the miserable. All ages, races, and colors.
Maybe you've spent some time with this ill-mannered guest yourself. Maybe sometimes you wish you hadn't.
Somehow he seems to mix up your priorities. You find he’s rubbed off on you, putting words into your mouth that weren't there before. You hear yourself being sarcastic or mean to family. You find yourself distracted from the ideals you’ve set for yourself.
So why do you keep turning on the tube?
Good question, considering that in the United States our children watch an average of 21 to 27 hours of television per week. An even better question considering what they're watching. The American Psychological Association has concluded that the average child watching two to four hours of television a day will witness 8,000 murders and 100,000 other acts of violence before graduating from elementary school.
What are the effects of watching all this violence? Is it harmless, as some say? Or if it is harmful, how can harmfulness be measured?
In one study conducted at Pennsylvania State University, one hundred preschoolers watched 20 to 30 minutes of television three times a week for four weeks. Half the children watched cartoons with lots of violence; half watched shows with none.
Only four to six hours of viewing spread out over a month. Yet researchers found a clear difference between the two groups of children.
Those who watched violent cartoons were more likely to hurt others, argue, and disobey than those who watched non-violent programs.
This study is typical of research throughout the country, which verifies that television violence makes viewers more prone to aggressive behavior in real life.
So, you may be thinking, I stay away from the violent shows. Well, what about sex, what about crude jokes, what about sarcasm and meanness and putdowns of others? If viewing violence leads to violence, then surely sitcoms driven by low standards drag down our own.
While some may dispute the influence of television on our daily lives, advertisers don't. They're so convinced of the power of television to mold our thoughts and behavior that they spend billions each year on commercials.
And nowadays movies are filled with subtle and not-so-subtle ads. That familiar candy bar on the table is no coincidence – the manufacturer paid to have it there. If the hero picks it up, they pay big bucks. If he actually takes a bite, they pay mega bucks.
Advertisers know those dollars are well spent. If the star of the show does it, chances are we will want to do it too.
“Bad company corrupts good character,†according to proverb. And parents warn their children to be careful in choosing their friends.
And this is why, for those who watch a lot of television, there is a question: "How much of who you are is who you really are – the person you were meant you to be? And how much is who you've become because of what you've been watching?" For anyone who's not sure of the answer to that question, T.V. has become more than just an annoyance, it's a menace.
He's like a friend who's worn out his welcome. Even if he doesn't spill his drink or drop crumbs, he's still a guest who leaves a mess behind.
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This was an article I first published in God's World Today in 1997
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technorati tag: television
Posted in Mothering | Permalink
Comments
"in the United States our children watch an average of 21 to 27 hours of television per week"
Oh my goodness, I didn't realize it was that high, that is astonishing (and distressing).
We're a no broadcast or cable television household - we have a TV & DVD player to watch movies occasionally. We probably watch one movie every 2-3 weeks that is it. In the winter it is a little more frequent, but not much. I can't imagine watching any more than that - I just think there are so many better things to do out there.
Great column, btw, I really like the intro!
Posted by: Amber | September 14, 2005 5:07 PM
Wonderful article.
Posted by: Lori | September 15, 2005 7:03 AM
Excellent commentary on television. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Jana | September 15, 2005 10:49 AM
This is a really interesting way to look at the presence of tv in the home. There have been so many studies lately about the negative impact of tv on kids, but no one says how to live the day by day with a young child (particularly toddlers who want to interact constantly) and still accomplish things. You back up your admonition with the helpful advice found in your books and weblog - very helpful to someone like me who was a youngest child and isn't always sure how parenting "works"!
I can say that just this month my daughter has been starting to be able to play by herself at times, pretending, or even paging through books and telling bits of the stories she knows now by memory - I love seeing this! And you are right, for her to be able to help me out with my stuff in any way just makes her beam.
We love movies and documentaries too, and sometimes watch pbs. I've been thinking about taping certain pbs documentaries for future homeschooling use.
Posted by: Allie | September 15, 2005 3:45 PM
I so appreciated this post! My son only watches certain "shows" that are appropriate for his age, but some days he can log WAY too many. We had a plumbing emergency yesterday and he ended up watching so many shows so I could deal with the plumber and Dept. of Water & Power. Today we turned it all off and it's amazing the ways he discovers to play on his own, imagines that certain objects around the house are 'rocket ships' and other things. I also stopped to think about the one network TV show I was into and made time to watch this week, since it was the premier, and now I realize that it's not a show I want on in my home at all. It doesn't matter that my son is asleep when it's on . . . it doesn't reflect the values that I strive to live each day. I will have the TV on for the President's message tonight, but that is it. Thanks Barbara!
Posted by: tracy | September 15, 2005 6:24 PM
Wow! I never really thought of it that way. Thank you.
Posted by: Gina | September 15, 2005 7:02 PM
Hey, check it out - by those ideals you hold dear! Mr. Rodgers, who I used to think was boring beyond words, is now the guy I'd most like my kids to hang out with.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | September 16, 2005 1:17 AM
