October 23, 2005 10:00 AM
Epidurals - fine by me
I just want to say this about epidurals:
Of my 12 children, I gave birth to 9. The first 8 of them were all natural births - meaning no pain relief of any kind. I can't say I look back with fondness on any moment except when the baby was finally OUT! I behaved badly, losing it frequently and always at some point announcing very loudly that I was finished and ready to go home. The after pictures of daddy, mommy and baby all look like I've just been dragged in after 40 years hard labor in the gulag.
Yes, subsequent births get a little easier after the first - until you get past a certain number. Then the grandmultipara's (as we are known in the higher echelons of medecine) uterus becomes more unpredictable - at least that's how it was explained to me - fussing and stammering like a Model T Ford.
And it didn't help that instead of the pain being erased from my memory, it was all too memorable, causing me to approach each birth with more and more trepidation. Even after I became a Christian and learned to trust God, births number 6, 7, and 8 were as bad as the others. Still I plowed through, since I had been taught in my first pregnancy that any pain relief available would mean a baby born with drugs on board and I didn't want to compromise those first moments when we looked into each other's eyes.
Then, shortly before Maddy was born in 1993 I heard of epidurals. When I arrived at the hospital I asked for one. As my body labored, I was able to call home to check n the kids, talk to my married daughters and laugh with my husband. Maddy was born two hours later - a phenomenally short time for me. I looked and felt wonderful. It was a wonderful experience all around. AndMaddy was the happiest baby and now is the most upbeat, optimistic 12-year-old I've ever met.
My only regret is that my own "contempt prior to investigation" kept me from even considering epidurals. I wish I'd had them for all the other births.
That said, I know there are women who truly don't need them - like my daughter Jasmine, who is expecting Number Five and has had all hers naturally. I've been there for three of those births (what an awesome experience that is!)and she always handles labor gracefully. And there are women who have negative reactions to epidurals - My daughter Samantha has gotten terrible headaches after the couple she's had (out of five births, which I've been there for as well).
But epidurals are another area where I just don't think we should judge each other. And I don't think anyone should feel they somehow are a little less because they want/need/have one. Agreed?
Posted in Babies, Big families, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
When I was pregnant, I was certain that I would get an epidural until we went to our birthing classes - then I was convicted to try and do it naturally. And mentally prepared for that.
As it turns out, because my labor progressed so quickly and during the middle of the night, they couldn't have gotten the anethesiologist there in time. So it worked out. I guess God knew that.
But I'm not ruling it out for next time. It just all depends on the circumstances. Same goes for everyone else!
Posted by: Sal | October 23, 2005 12:01 PM
I've had six very different births. After all of them, even the c-section for a breech baby which involved no real labor, I pretty much looked like I'd been through the ringer. After baby #2, a c-section following three days of back labor, I looked and felt as if I'd been hit by a truck! I really don't think epidurals would help my post-birth appearance that much. Haha!
Having more babies didn't get me over my fear of labor and childbirth. I just feared different things each time. Deciding on an epidural would not have eliminated those fears. Instead, because of the reading and study I did about childbirth, I would have had additional fears about potential risks and complications. But that's just me.
Looking back on my most difficult labors (probably the last one was the most intense) I do not regret for a moment not having chosen an epidural. I don't "like pain". I'm pretty much a wimp. But having to cope with the discomforts of childbirth and having to receive the loving, servant-like ministrations of comfort measures from my husband and birth attendants, and having to seek God to help me deal with my weaknesses --- it is something that has changed me completely. I would have lost a lot had I had one of those births where I was laughing at TV comedies while in labor, talking on the phone, and acting as if nothing really momentous was going on. (A friend of mine had that sort of birth and loved it. To each their own, I suppose...)
Instead, each birth has challenged me, has forced me to seek God earnestly, and has taught me precious things. The labor with my third child is one I especially treasure. I had feared that birth greatly, and spent the active labor in near-constant prayer. Afterwards, I felt spiritually as if I'd been to the best retreat/revival in the world! God used that to prepare me for one of the most difficult times of my life. (Long story...the happy ending is that our miracle baby is a strong and sturdy 15 year old man child who can bench press his own weight.)
I think, in our culture, we are too quick to avoid pain and discomfort, instead of allowing God to minister to us in the midst of it. When my older brother was dying, I was tempted --- for the first time in my life --- to ask my doctor for some type of meds to enable me to go through the funeral without becoming completely undone. My mother commented that she had wanted to feel everything at his birth; in the same way, she wanted to feel everything at his death.
We're not masochists. I truly understand why some feel a need for pain meds during labor. I've used them myself during two births. (Afterwards, I felt ripped off. Maybe I would have felt differently with an epidural. I don't know.) I can also understand why some feel a need for meds that will help them endure the emotionally painful experiences of life. It is a huge temptation.
But there is something to be gained by going on, no matter what pain may await us, and clinging to Jesus in the face of it --- and then emerging on the other side with a much greater appreciation for all those Scriptures about how our Savior is more than adequate when we are weak and undone.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 23, 2005 12:25 PM
I appreciate these comments because they balance out my admittedly giddy remarks.
Thanks, Sal for sharing your experience.
And mommies need to listen up to Rebecca because she is very wise. I met first "met" her by phone and mail 7 or 8 years ago when she was doing a lot of research and networking to alert people to the pitfalls of Ezzo. Like I said, very wise.
I think my point was to give permission to moms to feel confident in whatever decision they make, to remain flexible, and to not become weighed down by the judgement of others who think everyone should do it their way. We've all got enough weighing us down :) without that burden.
And, oh my goodness, I would not have dreamed of turning on the TV. It was still a close and wondrous moment with my husband. But I don't believe people should watch TV while they eat dinner either! I believe you should bring the proper attitude to childbirth and focus on the miracle at hand.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | October 23, 2005 12:57 PM
Also, I was just reflecting as I was getting out winter clothes, doing laundry, and making lunch: My last birth - the one with the epidural - was 54 weeks after Jonny's. Jonny had been in and out of the hospital (over an hour from us) many times, had four major surgeries, including a colostomy and several months later hagetting reconnected. All as I was trying to homeschool six other kids under 10 and dealing with the slowdown of being 45.
An epidural may have been God's grace for me.
As it turned out, when Maddy was only three weeks old, Jonny contracted a strain of pneumonia that kept him in ICU for three weeks and almost killed him, came home with an oxygen tank, and then three weeks later crashed with more intestinal stuff calling for another major operation and three more weeks in the hospital.
Maybe God knew I needed any little bit of help I could get and every ounce of energy for the days to come.
Which doesn't at all take away from Rebecca's wise words. But I think kind of makes up for any flippancy in my original thoughts.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | October 23, 2005 1:50 PM
I have been reading your blog since you were on Midday connection and have really benefited from your wisdom. I am not sure exactly how to make a comment but I assume that this is the way to do it. I am a mom of three and grandma to four and another baby due in March
I am a nurse –midwife with over 25 years of helping women birth babies. I am a part of a very busy practice with a wonderful prolife OB-GYN. At times I have suggested an epidural for a difficult labor .My best friend has 11 children and had several at home and then had an epidural for the last baby born in a hospital. Nevertheless I think women are being sold a bill of goods about epidurals. Epidurals have increased the complication rate including unnecessary C/S and other difficult bad outcomes. The research is there and has been subjected to critical analysis by unbiased professionals Women have chosen not to educate themselves about birth and that is why we have an almost 30% C/S rate in the US. The epidural is not a panacea . I have really questioned myself if I am just old fashioned and out to date , then this week my patient chose an epidural for her second child. The fetal heart rate plunged down and had I not been there to restore some rationality to the situation this mom may have had an emergency C/S and the mom and her family would have thought we were all wonderful for saving the baby! For this case I had an excellent anesthesiologist there, great staff but stuff happens and surgery ( an emergency C/S) is an easy out when you are in profession hammered by frivolous lawsuits.
I won’t go on my favorite rant but I will say this. If you have cancer in the US and you are being treated for cancer in “Podunk†USA your care will have some science to it and you have a good chance of having evidenced based care. If you are having a baby in an American hospital chances are that you will receive the type of care they in Podunk USA deem is best with little evidence based in science.. The knowledge is there for those discriminating enough to find it The management of normal labor is a lost art in the world of malpractice and the world with severe shortages of nurses
I would urge women to find out as much about birth and birth practices as you would find out buying a car. A scarred uterus from a C/S is forever scarred and it puts the next baby at risk causes pain from adhesions for many for all their lives, and it definitely not as safe as a normal birth for mom and baby .Any women faced with the choice of a bit more effort vs saving their child from possible harm would choose to expend the extra effort to keep their child safe I would suggest four sites http://www.maternitywise.org and http://www.hencigoer.com/ and http://www.birthingnaturally.net/cascade/ and http://www.spinningbabies.com/
Rita Ledbetter APN MS CNM
Nurse-Midwife of Medical Arts
Moline , Ill 61265
As long as there are mothers upon the birth stool there will always be midwives
Posted by: Rita | October 23, 2005 3:47 PM
Barbara, I appreciate this post because I have always felt a bit disappointed that I felt I needed an epidural during my daughter's birth. I suffered from hyperemisis during pregnancy, including a hospital stay and an iv of zofran sticking in my belly for several months. I never made it more than 24 hours without vomiting, and a normal day include being sick 10-12 times. Since the day of my delivery was no different, my midwife said I may have to remain open to the possibility of an epidural, as moving and concentrating were difficult with continuous vomiting. The epidural and the nausea cocktail made for a wonderful, peaceful birth that I shared with my husband, mom, sister, best friend, and midwife. We had a full house, and a miraculous day, but I have always felt a little inadequate about getting the epidural. For me, this post was an encouragement. God does provide in different ways for his different children. Blessings! Carrie
Posted by: Carrie | October 23, 2005 3:56 PM
Rita, I'm very grateful you took the time to bring us all up-to-speed and to remind us how important it is to be intentional about our mothering even before our babies are born. Your experience and wisdom mean a lot to the moms who visit here.
And Carrie, thanks for sharing your experience - and it's for mothers like you who've been unecessarily hard on themselves when the situation called for a little extra help for mom.
It's important to be educated, to trust God, to work through the pain, but to be flexible if necessary.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | October 23, 2005 4:27 PM
I've had 5 natural births so far (2 hospital, 3 home) and so I don't really know what to say on the epidural thing, other than I've never had one! lol...
I *did* want to chime in, though, and say that my first birth was EXCRUCIATING, and had I been in the hospital, I would have been beggging for epidural, drugs, whatever (make it stop!).
With the rest, I read an old old book called, "Childbirth Without Fear," admittedly skipped most of the things it said, EXCEPT for the part about getting completely and totally relaxed during labor (even facial muscles...EVERY muscle EVERY where). Hmmm. Sounded interesting.
The author, Dr. Dick-Reed I think, said it made an incredible difference on the pain level--that it helped the uterus get all the blood it needed, instead of having the other muscles steal it...that during labor, the uterus needed ALL the blood, and that the pain came from the uterus having to contract WITHOUT all the blood it needed.
So I would practice going into a total slump every night during the last trimester...so that when labor hit, I'd be "practiced up" to relax instead of go tense (fight or flight, you know)...and...it actually worked.
Pain went from extreme to VERY manageable, all within 30 seconds. If I had to do anything--move, turn, etc,--anything that required muscles to be active, then the pain would come full force. But as long as I was in a total slump, it was AWESOME.
So I labor in a bathtup, slumping back and going deep deep inside myself, praying and thanking God for baby. And it is always one of the most *high* experiences of my life. Deep deep relaxing breaths from the diaphragn (the kind that make the stomach raise up and down) during it all, too--that's important.
So...that's my 2 cents. lol... Learning how to completely and totally relax beats getting a shot in my spine, in my opinion.
(Btw, I've shared this with a couple friends and they tried it too and it worked for them--taking the pain from TOO MUCH to very workable, if not almost completely gone.)
Love,
Molly from Choosing Home (who doesn't look down on anyone for doing whatever they have to do during a birth, for goodness sake [because it can really hurt!], but is sure glad she stumbled onto the relaxation technique!)
Posted by: molly | October 23, 2005 5:34 PM
Molly - I remember reading that book in 1969 for my first child's birth. the only problem was the doctor and hospital staff were's on board at all. Had my second at home.
Thanks you for sharing so specifically how you did it! And thanks for sharing graciously and not making anyone feel they've fallen short if things didn't work out so well for them. But your suggestions certainly give them a better shot next time.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | October 23, 2005 9:10 PM
Good post, it's wonderful to hear from other moms and how God has helped you through on this most practical and unavoidable part of motherhood. ;-)
Out there (general pregnancy books, internet boards) the concensis seems to swing too far the other way so that drugs and just going along with whatever the doc says is considered the norm.
My two (so far) have come too quickly to even try for an epidural. Personally, if labor ever got overwhelming (I'm a pretty calm type, the scariest thing I've ever endured was moving to a foreign country) I wouldn't hesitate to ask for pain relief. So far that hasn't happened, but if it ever does I won't let anyone make me feel guilty.
BTW, molly, thanks for the tips. I accidently applied some of your suggestions with both my labors. My body was just too drained to move and the tub birth this last time definately helped a lot.
Posted by: Cheri | October 24, 2005 12:03 PM
I had two homebirths, in birthing tubs. That's not for everyone, but after years of infertility, I wanted my births to be on my own terms and treated with respect and awe.
I have no regrets.
That said, I completely understand women going mainstream and requesting an epidural as soon as they get close to the hospital ("hello, I'd like to order my epidural-I'll be there in ten minutes"). What I wish would be for women to have complete information about the risks of being induced and the complications that an epidural can bring.
I just hate to hear how a mom's first birth (induced, usually) ended in a traumatic c-section. The c-section rate in this country is ridiculously high and moms are sacrificed for the convenience of the doctors.
Posted by: Mel | October 24, 2005 12:25 PM
I've birthed eight babies. I think epidurals are the best thing since sliced bread.. I don't like taking pain medicine and being all "doped up." No whatever it is they always want to give you to take the edge off. But epidurals have been great for me. All my friends, by the way, are in the homebirth, natural birth camp. We just smile and live and let live.
Posted by: SHerry | October 24, 2005 3:31 PM
I am hoping that my post on Nathaniel didn't spark this debate, but I think it might have. Yes, I am a wimp. I wanted as little pain as possible. This is my 3rd baby, my 3rd epidural, but it was the first time the darn thing worked for me - Praise God. When I remember his birth, I remember it with joy, peace, and gratitude- and it was just a week ago today!
Posted by: Angela | October 24, 2005 8:54 PM
I had my first baby six months ago. He was induced because he was overdue and the doctor thought he was going to be too big. Surprise surprise, he was only 6lbs 13oz! The induction just didn't go well, though, and I went through hours of labor (and all the so-called "stages") without progressing AT ALL. I could have shot the nurse who told me for the third time "you're still at one, dear!" I had planned a natural birth, but the situation just didn't allow for it. I chose an epidural because I knew that it posed the least risks for my baby. And I am SO glad that I did! It gave me a chance to rest for a few hours before my husband and I had to deal with a new problem - the baby's heartrate was dropping to seriously low levels with each contraction (and I still wasn't nearly dilated enough to deliver). Jonathan was born by emergency c-section, which was made much easier by the fact that the epidural was already in place - it allowed the "emergency" to be less stressful and handled more quickly.
I am grateful that this medical option was available. That said, I think that the whole problem was caused in the first place by another medical "option" (the induction). I hope to have my next many babies at home with a midwife - the first experience was pretty traumatic and I'm holding onto the hope that a "natural" birth won't be quite so bad!
Posted by: Emily | October 25, 2005 11:25 AM
