December 22, 2005 3:47 PM
Sharing the good news
There's one thing I really want to share before things get too busy for blogging around here. It starts with an excerpt from a book of mine to be published next August: Reaching the Left from the Right:
Would you have wanted to know me?I was that crazy acid-dropping hippie chick at the anti-war rallies, yelling obscenities about the country you love. I was the one calling cops pigs. I was the radical feminist pushing for abortion on demand, and feeling pretty lucky we’d succeeded when I needed one myself. I was the party-girl single mother whose children you felt sorry for. I was that welfare mom at the laundromat scrounging through my bags for enough change to wash our clothes. I was that coworker who came in haggard and hungover each morning, only to go into inexplicable hyperspeed after taking a pill. I was the drugged-out fag hag crawling down the hall to curl up in a bedroom after partying with the gay guys in the Castro district of San Francisco. Crawling because – and not everyone even knows this happens to heavy drinkers – my legs had quit working.
I was the cynic who hated Christianity and everything I thought it stood for – though truth be told, I really knew nothing at all about it. I was that angry voice railing to “keep religion out of politics,” accusing conservatives and traditionalists of hypocrisy. I was the sexual revolutionary who didn’t think it was anyone’s business who slept with whom. I was the angry feminist with the bumper sticker demanding “the government out of my womb.” I was the angry protestor against “censorship.” I was the elitist who adored edgy movies and art – the more blasphemous the better.
Would you have wanted to know me?
If you saw me in need – as Peter saw the crippled man who begged every day at the temple gate called Beautiful – would you have seen beyond the outer circumstance? Would you have seen as Peter saw that the crippled man didn’t need money, he needed to walk? Would you have seen that though I was chasing the things of the world, what I needed was a healing? Would you have helped me?
These questions worry me. They worry me because I know that just as many God-fearing people had walked by that crippled man at the gate called Beautiful, either ignoring him or giving him money, which wasn’t what he really needed, many walk by people like me each day and miss the opportunity to heal.
I was 38 years old before I finally heard the good news of Jesus Christ. There were probably Christians around me too wrapped up in their religion to notice how much I needed what they had to offer. Too comfortable in their church life, too assuming that I was too tough a nut to crack, too focused on our differences and not the fact that in God’s eyes we all fall short.
In fact, I met one just a few years ago when I was asked to speak at another ladies’ luncheon where as I greeted the women working in the kitchen I noticed a familiar face I couldn’t quite place.
“Remember me?” she said, smiling. I had to confess I didn’t know where I knew her from.
“Kimberly,” she said. “We worked for the phone company in Corte Madera in 1979.”
“Kimberly, I didn’t know you were a Christian!” I said. And then there was an embarrassed moment of silence, as we both realized that’s probably the last thing a Christian would want to hear. I mean, what if when we stand before our Creator there is a cloud of witnesses who became believers in spite of our neglect? I can almost hear them intoning the chorus: “I didn’t know you were a Christian.”
People don't like Christians who are pushy. But what's a Christian to do - especially a Christian like me who experienced and inflicted so much pain - who knows that for every sad or lonely heart, there is an answer? What if someone had told me about Jesus sooner? Look at all God has done with my life in 19 years - just think what he could have done with more.
After the radical politics, the drugs, and the wild living, I went seeking for seven years - through meditation, chanting, yoga - everything under the sun but Christianity. Having never met a Christian who seemed authentic and truly caring, I never would have looked there for the answers. I saw nothing attractive about the religion.
In the end, though, I learned the truth:
That God loves me and has a plan for my life.
That my striving to find God was useless because I was separated from him by sin.
That God sent his only son Jesus to bridge the gap.
That I needed to make a decision.
So much simpler than I'd ever dreamed. I made a decision instantly to accept Jesus as my Savior and to turn my life over to God. And in that instant, everything was changed forever. Though my life is not perfect, I have a consistent inner peace. I feel loved, comforted and as though there is a purpose in my life.
If you have been struggling or searching, this is the simple answer. You don't have to be anywhere special or with anyone at all. If you are willing to repent of your sins and give your life to Christ, he will give it back to you as though exchanging rags for something splendid.
How I wish I had only known sooner how simple it was! Perhaps you can understand then, why I'm compelled at this time of year especially to share the Good News with anyone who is ready to hear it.
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 8:12
Posted in Christmas, Inspiration | Permalink
Comments
Thanks for covering this topic. It is so easy to just look at people and think us vs. them. Much like people who look at skin color or income to decide if they like someone or not, we can do the same thing as Christians.
I pray that no one will be able to say of me that they didn't know I was a Christian (one of the big blessings of 'fulltime' ministry- Christian is my job discription), but I also pray that I will never decide that someone is too far gone to be interested in Jesus' Good News.
Looking forward to reading your book next year. :-)
Hope you guys are feeling better, too!
Posted by: Cheri | December 22, 2005 5:43 PM
Thank you for sharing your testimony, Barbara. I am ashamed to say, that I would probably have been one of those who did not reach out to someone who 'looked' hopeless. One of those who would hear, "I didn't know you were a Christian!" Thank you for the wake-up call.
Merry Christmas and God bless you and your family!
Posted by: Kathy | December 22, 2005 7:57 PM
Wow.
That's all I've got.
Just...Wow.
Posted by: blestwithsons | December 24, 2005 11:43 AM
Yea Wow! A powerful testimony.
But I also think Barb, that the Lord in His own way, restored to you the plentiful harvest that the locusts had eaten. You are a special lady!! Praise God!
Thanks for sharing your story and have a Blessed Christmas season.
Posted by: Elena | December 26, 2005 1:32 PM
I have returned to this post several times to read it. I am concerned about souls, but I am not a confrontational person. In fact I shrink from it. Feminists tend to be very confrontational. How does one get past the barriers of opinion, pride and confrontation to meet the needs of the heart? pam
Posted by: Pam | December 27, 2005 11:26 AM
Thankyou for sharing your truth Barbara.
I too have been delivered out of darkness into His wonderful light (10 yrs ago).
Single mom (welfare etc). I can relate alot - abortion etc.
It is true - Jesus can change our lives in an instant - he changed me too and I love to read others testimonies so Bless you and tha thankyou very much - Thankyou Jesus really eh.
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle | January 12, 2006 4:00 AM
my husband was just like you were before Christ. He too has a lot of focus and purpose today. Sadly, I have in the past called him a "one-trick pony" because I wanted him to have more hobbies and distractions. He is quick to remind me that but for Jesus, he would be dead long ago. When I look at the bumper sticker women, or the Satanist cashier at WalMart, I am not afraid of them because I have seen what Jesus can do, and I try to engage them. However, I wonder what they see when they look back at me? DO they see Jesus?
Posted by: floorplan | January 12, 2006 7:01 AM
