January 21, 2006 8:22 PM
Transitioning to megamotherhood
Keri wrote:
I'm 35 years old (as long as you've been mommying!) Married to the same wonderful man since 1992. We met our first day at college and I knew he was the "one". We are now expecting our 5th baby.....we have 4 amazing children aged 8, 5, 3, and 1. I am thankful (I mean really) to be home with them and live life with them and homeschool them and to be childrened by them (I mother them, they childen me).Current issue in my mothering/wifing/living: I feel like I'm in a transition phase. All of my friends (mostly from MOPS from back when I had 2 children) are "done" with babies and have moved on, so to speak. Their kids are in school, they've gone back to work or are doing home businesses, and are working in church ministries and their own hobbies or schooling. Me........I'm home with my babies, and have been changing diapers for more than 8 years (and going............). The transition I'm in is in my friendships. We have nothing in common anymore, and I don't "fit in" very well anywhere else. I can't go to MOPS anymore; I'm like the crazy woman who hasn't bribed my husband to get fixed yet (but he's not broke, I say).
I am thankful to have met some other women with larger families, and am thankful for your blogging--it's very encouraging. So, maybe sometime you will blog about this weird time I'm in, when your old mommy friends move on to other things other than mommying. I feel isolated sometimes. But no regrets, and no way I'd give up this baby inside of me.
Hey, I could really identify with this! Once you get past a certain pint, you just get too different! My short-on-time reply:
What you described is something I think a lot of moms with bigger families go through - and it is kind of strange. But then your family starts keeping you so busy you hardly have time for friends anyway. it's a season. I think the blogworld is helping enormously to make for a sense of community as you can find other moms with big families and feel like you're not alone.Hang in there! You'll be glad when all the others are empty nesters and you still have lots of life going on in your home!
I'll bet some of you have some thoughts on this too!
Posted in Big families, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
I used to meet once a month with a group of MOMS, Mothers of Many Siblings. We were all mothers of five or more children, and it was very encouraging to share the challenges and joys of being MOMS and to pray for one another.
Posted by: Sherry | January 21, 2006 8:43 PM
Maybe this would be a good time in her life to begin mentoring other women who are just beginning their families? If she can find the energy, time, and desire, that is. Mentoring is a different kind of friendship but it is very satisfying. What new Mom wouldn't be thrilled to be friends with a megamommy who can share some of her tips and advice?
Posted by: Gen Schmidt | January 21, 2006 9:02 PM
I have a similar situation, while I do have a few friends with alot of kids, they are much older than me. I am 25 and I have 4 kids, all under 5. I am constantly running into old friends from high school who are still single and childless and are always wanting to get together and hang out. However, for obvious reasons, I can't. When I explain to them that I am now married and have 4 kids they look at me like I am crazy. I was ready to settle down when I did and am delighted have 4 children. I saw where all the partying and hanging out till all hours were getting some of my older friends and decided to bypass it for the most part.We regretfully cannot have anymore biologically, but we are going to adopt down the road. When I was searching for moms like me, I went to yahoo groups and started my own group, and that is how I met the many friends I have today.And there are churches that have groups for moms who homeschool their kids and usually don't mind if you attend their group but not their church.You can google them go to www.groups.yahoo.com and start your own.
Posted by: melanie | January 21, 2006 11:55 PM
I feel like I'm in a transition phase as well. I'm only 24 and have my first baby (4 mts). My husband and I are younger than most, and our baby is younger than those we know. I don't always feel like I fit in. I'm starting to feel lack of a social life because I don't have anything to participate in throughout the week. Any suggestions?
Kristina
http://www.newmommy4god.blogspot.com
Posted by: Kristina | January 22, 2006 1:39 AM
I've been feeling that I am in a transition phase, too. We have 4 kids - 10, 8, 4, 21 months. We are open to more children, if the Lord provides. My struggle comes in deciding what is best for family activity-wise. When I am pregant or with a young baby/toddler, it is hard for me to do much outside the home. In fact, now that our littlest is getting older, we are getting out and doing more. I tend to worry that when I can't get out and about, my older kids are missing out on things that kids their ages can do when they don't have younger siblings. (we homeschool, by the way) But, as I look back, the Lord has provided ways for my kids to participate in classes, He has used friends with less children to come and take my older ones with them...God does supply all our needs! The problems come when I forget to remember that. :-)
Posted by: Christa | January 22, 2006 7:55 AM
