April 29, 2006 8:52 AM
Quality Time
I am blessed to have a biweekly column in my local paper, the Loudoun Times Mirror. I like to reprint these columns here so you know what I'm up to in other parts of my work. Keep in mind that these are very limited as I have a 500 word limit and this is a secular newspaper. This was my column 4/19:
Finding the Quality Time Your Kids NeedLet’s face it: most of us today are more Little House on the Freeway than Little House on the Prairie. Between work and school, sports and the arts, doctors and dentists – not to mention grocery shopping and honey-do’s – it’s hard to imagine ways to carve out a little extra time for one-on-one with our kids.
But we can! Here’s how:
Reorient Living Spaces
Define bedrooms as places to sleep and change clothes. Move desks, computers and TVs out of the bedrooms. Reorganize your family room to accommodate all computers and study places. Keep only one TV for the whole family to watch together, or maybe one extra for younger siblings.
Rethink Meal Preparation
Make your kitchen inviting and encourage your kids to help with cooking – a great time for conversation.
Rev up Car Time
Turn off the radio, CD and DVD players. Tune into your kids. Start conversations with special memories you have of them or questions they can’t resist – questions focused on them.Go Beyond “How Was Your Day?”
When psychologist Torey Hayden asked several hundred teens what they wished they could talk with their parents about, they named:
• Family matters - Vacations, decisions, rules, curfews, serious illness, money problems.
• Controversial issues - Sex, lifestyles, drugs.
• Emotional issues - Parents' feelings about them and other things.
• Big whys - Why do people go hungry? Why is there war? Other philosophical issues.
• The future - Work, college, making plans for their life beyond the current home.
• Current affairs - World and community happenings.
• Personal interest - Sports, hobbies, friends.
• Parents themselves - What were parents like at their age, stories that show parents are real.
Really, when you start to think about it, there are so many conversations, so little time!Lavish them with Love
Loving your kids lavishly can be as simple as stopping what you’re doing when they want to talk. Making good eye contact. Being an active listener, with vocal and facial responses that encourage them to continue talking. And don’t forget tactile – holding hands and hugs.
Loving them lavishly can mean sitting down with them to watch their favorite TV show or movie and finding out why they like it. Or asking them to burn a CD of music they think you might like.
When they were little, you used to create photo ops to capture memories. Loving them lavishly now means creating conversation ops – going for walks, gardening, painting a room, doing a jigsaw puzzle together.
Loving them lavishly means continuing to do favorite family activities together and maybe exploring some new territory. If your family’s into camping and hiking, try visiting a dinner theater or museum – and vice versa.
Loving them lavishly means continuing to tuck them in and – if you’re so inclined – praying with them before they go to bed, encouraging them to come to you with their problems, maintaining your cool and forgiving them when they’ve done wrong.
And always reminding them with three simple words: I love you.
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Adapted from Dirty Dancing at the Prom and Other Challenges Your Christian Teens Face: How Parents Can Help by Barbara Curtis (Beacon Hill Press 2005)
Comments
What a worthwhile column! Great suggestions....sometimes hard to follow--but worthy of the challenge.
Diane
Posted by: Diane | April 29, 2006 10:03 AM
