April 1, 2006 11:37 AM
The truth about being fat
Sticking to my diet in spite of the fact that the results are slower and less dramatic in this phase. I've lost more than a third of what I need to lose. Just putting it in terms of fractions rather than pounds adds more motivation. Working on the proposal and first two chapters of the diet book to take to Mount Hermon (not a how-to, but a why kind of book).
So a lot of thoughts are running through my mind about this as I get honest about the whole issue of my weight and why I stubbornly refused to do anything about it for so long - or made only half-hearted attempts.
I'm seeing for myself it was very selfish to allow myself to get so fat - yes, I'll use the other f word. It was disrespectful of my husband and my children. One of my daughters recently told Tripp that she had prayed for eight years that I would lose weight. Of course she's thrilled, but I'm wondering why she didn't say something to me about it. Who knows? Maybe I would have lost weight sooner :)
Why are we so hesitant to speak the truth with love to those who are obviously in some kind of pain that leads to self-indulgence and sin? Because gluttony is a sin - and as I said before, even if my metabolism seems slow, I'm not entitled to eat so much I gain weight. I just have to be more careful. I wonder if preachers gave sermons about gluttony the same way they give sermons about tithing if more people would be convicted and rise to the challenge of taking control - or letting God take control - of that area of their lives.
I believe that sometimes it is the most loving thing to do to confront someone about their issues. When we confronted my mother-in-law about her alcoholism (in a planned intervention) she went into rehab and stopped drinking. She was mad at us for a while, but in the long run we knew we had done the loving thing.
That's the irony. People often don't like the message - they'd rather pretend there's no elephant in the living room - so they blame the messenger. "I don't like the way you said it," or "You had no right." Which only reveals that we are ashamed of these sins we think are hidden.
It's a rare person who realizes immediately that you've done them a favor and are grateful you were brave enough to speak up. I remember once a painting contractor Tripp had known for years showed up at our house to paint at 9 am smelling of booze and marijuana. I told him he had to leave and not come back until he was clean and sober.
That was 15 years ago and he's been clean and sober since that day, gotten married, had kids - now a happy, healthy family man. He came back and thanked me for my honesty - which was the catalyst he needed to get his life together.
A moment of truth can be difficult, but it can be the beginning of a great adventure. If you've been the beneficiary of someone working up their courage to tell you something you needed to hear - perhaps God needed you to hear - then by all means let go of your hurt feelings and simply say thank you to someone who obviously cared.
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Congratulations to Willena, who mentioned in her last comment that she had gone on the Fat Flush Diet too and lost 10 pounds so far. It's nice to know I have some company on this admittedly difficult but very exciting journey!
Comments
Powerful thoughts! Althought I'm still within my "ideal" weight, I know I have put on at least 7 pownds within the last year or so. I KNOW I have to do something about it, but I always find a good excuse not to. I'm not comfortable with myself, I don't look good on my clothes, and even my little three year old has gotten in the habit of grabing the roll around my belly and pinch it; he finds it funny but for me is a huge reminder that I need to do something about it; not to mention the fact that I'm always low on energy so I can't play all that much with him and his little brother. I've been walking lately, but is not with a passion, is half-hearted. I can't afford a gym or anything like that so I bought like two or three excercise videos that look amazing and that would give me great results, if i only did the excercises! most of the time I do it for two or three days and the quit with whatever excuse I can grab. Totally unresponsible.
About speaking the truth in love, I have my hesitations; I mean, I would love to be able to do such thing, but I have tried in the past only to face turmoil and stressful situations. My husband and I are the only Christians in his family and anything we try to do or say against drinking, smoking, divorce, lesbianism, anger outburst, etc., is met by a loud and hurting "and you call yourself Christians....what about don't judge others lest you be judged..." Agggh....I have decided to remain silent, but my silence is killing me because I feel I'm not standing up for my beliefs and my values. Can someone tell me exactly what Jesus meant when He said "don't judge, lest you be judged"??? What does this mean? Does it mean that we are not even supposed to talk about someone's sin? How can we talk to someone about their sin without crossing this fine line??? Any suggestions would be greatly appeciated!
Posted by: LadyLovas | April 1, 2006 2:37 PM
I am also on a weight loss journey and have lost 7+lbs. I will say though that I just LOVE to eat b/c I really enjoy food. I'm not in any pain or anything like that. Still, I need to be better about managing it.
Posted by: Kelli | April 1, 2006 2:55 PM
I know why my loved ones didn't say anything to me about losing weight. Some of them tried, most notably my husband. I would even ask him in my better moments to keep me accountable to him. But when I decided to eat something I shouldn't, there wasn't anything anyone could say to me... I would just get angry. It was coming between Ian and me, so he stopped saying anything.
Posted by: Willena | April 1, 2006 3:01 PM
I discovered this blog a week or two ago and have really enjoyed it. Thanks for your work. I have appreciated the discussion/comments on accountability. The question about not judging others can be a tricky one! Here’s to hoping my experiences can help:
Often when we (or others) don’t want to be held accountable we cry (or hear the cry), “Judge not, lest ye be judged!” This is a popular tactic to twist the tables and appear a victim rather than a participator. None of us has the ability or power to judge another’s eternal state, God has reserved that right unto Himself. However, we were put here on earth to learn and grow and we must judge situations, actions and behaviors in order to make choices for our own behavior. “Adultery destroys families,” “Homosexuality destroys humanity,” “Drugs destroy human relationships”—all of these are judgments, pure and simple. Choosing not to be involved in behaviors that destroy is a decision that comes after making these judgments. God has told us what behaviors will lead to captivity and unhappiness so that we can make wise choices and return to Him. We must judge situations in order to follow Him, but not confuse that with making judgments on others’ eternal status.
Posted by: Jane Payne | April 1, 2006 7:14 PM
From someone who was already planning to begin Weight Watchers Monday morning...thank you!
Posted by: Shannon from Rocks in my Dryer | April 1, 2006 10:22 PM
This is one battle that I have not yet begun to battle, I don't know if it's fear or if it's just the sheer thought of having to climb that horrible and scary mountain of weight loss. I am 33 and as a teen, was put on loads of different diets, each time losing what I needed and then going off of it when I had reached that goal, my dear parents only meant the best for me. No one ever showed me how to keep it off and I always gained AT LEAST ten more back that STAYED on. Now I am overweight, and wishing I could be thinner, but to jump into that "diet world" again is just so incredibly scary and dark, I just don't know if I can do it. Eeck!
Sorry about the rant,
Becky :)
Posted by: B | April 2, 2006 12:44 AM
I'd love to know more about what you're writing about dieting and why. I've struggled with my weight for 15 yrs, conquering and failing with eating disorders. Gaining and losing weight (from 118 to 185). I set the standard too high for myself and then I fail at my goals. In a country full of diets and admitedly my own downfall - Starbucks - why isn't their more concern for wholesome eating? That's actually been the key to any success I've ever had with weight loss or over-coming disorders...it was a conscious effort to eat a healthy, high fiber, well balanced diet. It's hard to accept that we're not all meant to be models. Recently I read the average woman is 5'4, 145lbs which is exactly what I am today. I'm always trying to lose weight, but recently I actually started thinking - what if I was just always this size? Why I don't I focus instead on eating healthy and getting into shape instead of how much weight I lose? Would that be ok? I still weigh myself twice a day. My toddler apparently picked up on this and now he weighs himself before he gets into the bath tub. He doesn't know what it is - he's hardly 18m old - but he goes through the same actions. What am I teaching him about a healthy lifestyle? I'm looking forward to this book. I'd even love to share ideas that I've come up with for fun healthy meals.
Posted by: Catherine | April 3, 2006 4:37 PM
I've been thinking all this week...a little bit convicted about all our discussion on dieting. WhileI am still adamant that many of us overeat, eat much of the wrong foods and are way less active than we think we are, there are a couple important points to our eating that probably should be first and foremost in our behavior and attitude about food.
I tend to prefer healthy, all natural foods...I would love to buy all organic, chemical free, non processed, home-grown, home-made, grass-fed, non-irradiated, non-GMO, whole grain, whole food... EVERYTHING...I would prefer to NEVER have soda or candy or any junk or processed foodsin our diet...but it seems to be everywhere....and HONESTLY our budget for a family of 8 does not allow me to buy alot of expensive, high priced "PERFECT" foods....we buy alot of our meats on "clearance" at Super Walmart and much of the rest of our groceries as well.
A couple biblical principles I call to mind often when we are eating. One verse is the verse about "eating anything unaware, it shall not harm you". That's not an excuse to be puposefully ignorant, but I cannot completely control everything that goes in our mouths...I have no idea what may be on our produce or in our meat...I take care to buy the best I can buy with our budget and try to make as much from scratch as possible, but I have to trust God for protection for what I am unable to control or avoid. And that brings me to my second point and probably most important...the attitude of GRATEFULNESS....
When I deal with alot of "guilt or condemnation" for the foods I am able to afford....(well, I should call it ungratefulness for not being able to purchase alot of more expensive "perfect" foods)....I have to remind myself that it's better to eat what we have with gratefulness and thankfulness than have an abundance of "perfect foods" and empty pocket book and no gratefulness.
I think that applies to our eating in general....most of us look at overful plates and second and third helpings and feel we're somehow deprived....our internal concept of how little food we really need is warped...our thinking needs to be completely reversed to be able to look at a little plate or dish with a little bit of bread or meat or soup and be eternally grateful and satisfied with the abundance God has provided. We're told to pray for our "daily bread"...many of us enjoy a daily FEAST and we're still unhappy...I want to get to the place that I am totally grateful for just my portion of "daily bread" and not continually dissatisfied with what God has provided. Like the Israelites in the desert...everything they needed was provided and yet they continued to grumble and complain.
Today is Resurrection Sunday....Jesus through his death and resurrection has made it possible for us to have access to "EVERYTHING we need for LIFE and GODLINESS" 2Peter:3 Let us PRAISE HIM AND THANK HIM CONTINUALLY for the abundance He has given us!!! In whatever form He has provided.
Posted by: Tara | April 16, 2006 7:27 AM
