May 29, 2006 1:34 PM
My comment policy
This rarely happens, but I have recently deleted two comments I consider on the same level as drive-by shootings. I have emailed both people to let them know why I wasn't publishing their comments.
One was a person named Angela who set up a hotmail account as smurfyland. Her comments were antagonistic and patronizing.
I wrote:
I'm not in the habit of printing argumentative comments from people who've never commented on my blog in any constructive way.She replied that that must be why 100% of my comments were in agreement with me, then closed the hotmail account she had set up evidently just for the purpose of harassment.
The second deleted comment was from a person who called himself crusader and said he didn't hear Christ in my words. I wrote back that I don't publish drive-by comments from people who don't yadayada - and that as spirtual one-upmanship went, I didn't hear Christ in his words either.
Why am I sharing this? Because I want you to know I don't expect 100% agreement here, and I don't drop friendships with people who don't see things the same way I do. The hearty exchange the last few days certainly attests to that.
But I reserve the right to not provide a forum for people who just stumble onto this blog and decide to start sniping. After all, I wouldn't let a complete stranger shove his way into my living room and start blasting. A blog can grow in some ways to be like a family and part of my responsibility is to keep things healthy and productive here. Will I do it perfectly? No. Which is why I apologized to Rachel for misunderstanding her. Rachel's been around here for a long time and we know each other and she matters to me. I was wrong to read negative stuff into her words because I know her better than that.
I've found that unless I have been willing to invest in a relationship with someone in a positive way I really can't expect that they would pay much attention to my criticism, no matter how constructive it might be. And why in the world would they give me a forum if my only interest in them was to attack them?
As to full disclosure: I've only found it necessary to delete about 8-10 comments here in the last year. Other than the obnoxious spam comments, I mean.
People like Smurfyland are never going to find much common ground here. And as for "Crusader" - if you're interested in anything other than spiritual one-upmanship, then stick around and get to know who I am before shooting.
On a more positive note, two readers who went away mad at me over different issues a while back wrote me this weekend and those relationships have been healed. Just a coincidence they both happened at the same time. But that is putting a song in my heart today!
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Comments
And I am so glad that you are the forgiving person you are too. Sometimes it takes time before someone's heart can see the real issues at hand, and that is not about being spiritually superior but rather being a body of Christ, despite our differences.
I don't know how many times I have opened my big mouth about something, hurt someone and then realized that regardless if I disagreed with them, I should have kept my mouth shut!
So sorry that people are being mean. I have visited blogs that don't control the comments and the people are down right mean. I am ashamed to say that I lowered myself to call others "idiots" myself. I realized that I was better off not sharing my views then shaming Christ with non Christ like words like that. What is that saying....it is better to keep quiet and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!
Posted by: Mrs. DMG | May 29, 2006 5:14 PM
Barbara:
I so agree. I moderate my comments with Ephesians 4:29 in mind. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Thankfully, my readership is really low so I haven't had wide exposure to nasty comments. But, It is so important to limit negativity and argumentation from these venues. It doesn't benefit you and it certainly doesn't benefit your readers. Because we sometimes feed on negativity, I think it is so important to present information in a way that glorifies God and limit or moderate disagreements that are unproductive.
I think it is honorable that you wrote these people individually. That gives me ideas on how to work with antagonism, if it ever presents itself.
May God bless you as you strive to edify others through this format.
Posted by: KSMilkmaid | May 29, 2006 5:44 PM
I'm with you. My blog is a benevolent dictatorship and I wield my delete key with a firm but restrained hand. ;-)
I've only had to zap a few as well. Some for profanity and a few for irrational attacks....
Posted by: blestwithsons | May 30, 2006 4:37 PM
I do not blame you a bit...:D
I would do the same! Nice blog you have here!!
Posted by: Bethany | May 30, 2006 5:16 PM
