June 23, 2006 8:09 AM
The purpose of my blog and my writing
As for the drive-by commenter who advised me to "get over it" - meaning the recent incident of outright prejudice against my son - I would like to say:
Sweetheart, this is how I get over it.
I'm a writer, which means my mind is finely tuned to the events around me and my calling is to share the unique perspective I bring to the situation.
As Anne Lamott says in Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you're a writer, you have the moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - truth is always subversive.
Of course, everyone loves and embraces writers like Anne Lamott who write fearlessly about the conflicts and disappointments caused by the people around them.
Until they are the subjects themselves.
I guess Ms. Lamott has taken her share of flack. she's also written:
If people don't like what you've written about them, they should have treated you better.But it's not about revenge. It's about ideas.
The authentic writer kneads ideas like a baker kneads bread until the truth rises from the raw materials. It is that truth that needs to be shared.
Diane Arbus, a gifted photographer explained her art this way:
I really believe there are things which nobody would see unless I photographed them.Writers believe there are things nobody would understand unless they write about them.
Ted Dekker, a writer I've met at Mount Hermon, puts it this way:
The greatest gift of a writer is his ability to observe what most others can't or won't.And isn't that true? Dickens' concern for the oppression of children in Great Britain stimulated a stream of novels which opened the public's eyes to their mistreatment in orphanages, schools, workhouses, and society in general.
I developed a thick skin long ago - as a writer, I had to. A writer wears her heart on her sleeve. She earns the right to analyze others' behavior by subjecting her own to the same fearless scrutiny. This is what writers do.
Those of you who've read Anne Lamott know that she makes herself very vulnerable in sharing what most people would tremble to have others know. Through self-honesty, she's earned the right to comment publicly on what goes on in her life. I don't see anyone jumping up and telling her to shut up about it. But, her comment above make me believe she gets her share of flack from her those in close proximity.
To the couple of commenters who reacted negatively to my current thoughts on prejudice and disabilities, you need to understand that my writing is not powered by anger or vindictiveness or any negative emotion. I have forgiven my neighbors because having kids with disabilities has taught me that everyone has disabilities - only most are hidden from the public eye.
The specific incident is simply the catalyst for a creative thought process. Compared to the wider audience I reach with my ideas, the handful of people who misunderstand my motives and choose to take offense are the downside of writing I just have to deal with. My calling is to take the raw material of my life and arrive at some wisdom and insight to make the world a better place, here and there changing one heart at a time.
My blog is where I work through these ideas - which may find their way into book somewhere down the line, but which allow others here and now to share in my creative journey. Your comments and questions don't just sit there in cyberspace. Even though I don't always have time to respond, I read each one carefully and they become part of my thought process.
To those who get impatient with one thought process, I can only advise you to move on to another subject, as I am usually thinking about more than one thing at a time :) Or come back next week. Or don’t come back at all.
Writers can’t please all the people all the time. But a true writer isn’t driven by keeping that kind of score. As far as I’m concerned, a true writer is driven by a desire to sacrifice his own life to serve others.
I hope this explains some things.
Posted in Blogging, Disabilities, Down syndrome, Family, Writing | Permalink
Comments
Thank you, Barbara. I learn so much from you. Thank you for taking the time to explain the whys. I am not a writer, so I am thankful for gifted writers like you who use their gift to help me see and understand things that I would never have on my own. So again, I say, thank you!
Posted by: Christa | June 23, 2006 10:19 AM
Oh Barbara, I love how you express yourself with words. I adore Annie Lamott - have heard her speak numerous times - have read many of her books. You are right. She is so real it hurts sometimes. She says things we think and wouldn't dare to say. She catches me and makes me more honest.
It is true that an artist sees things as many others wouldn't. The gaze of an artist upon us can be frightening. God views us this way - and I believe God gifts artists to see inside His creative mind in ways that get us very close to His heart.
If we were each doing our best to be the kind of people we ought to be, having someone take a close look at our heart wouldn't be offensive!
Over at my blog this morning - I have posted something about God's closeness to artists.
Bless you, Barbara, for being willing to put your thoughts on paper, to help initiate conversation and better understanding in a community like this.
Posted by: Liesl | June 23, 2006 10:34 AM
Oh Barbara! I have been following this story, but up to now have not been able to comment. I want you to know we love your family. I also want to thank you for making yourself vunerable so I could learn what true graciousness in conflict looks like. I am a young mom, I have many hurdles to cross, it helps seeing someone pave the way knowing that I too will come into conflicts involving my children.
I also wanted to say you wrote very eloquently about the "drive" behind us writers. As I wrote in my blog last February after we lost our son and I was trying *not* to use my blog to hash out my hurt, and finally realized I have no choice, I am a writer. God created me to think and learn this way...i must go on, even if the thoughts aren't the prettiest, even if it makes me vunerable to many many people misunderstanding me, judging me, or not understanding me at all. this was a small thing after my first "realization" of my need to write:
"I have said that my blogs will not always be happy go lucky blogs, some *I hope* will inspire and encourage, although I have found if I limit myself to only writing ones that end with hope, as a writer I have limited myself as well, and that’s not so pretty. Writing has been a free form of expression for me since I was very young. To bottle up the words swirling in my heart would become counterproductive for me as an individual and would stifle part of who God created."
more support from the UK, Lakenheath (near Cambridge) please keep writing! you have changed my role and life as "Mother", you have challenged and changed our *old* views on birth control, on prenatal (triple screen) testing, on adoption, on family size, on hometeaching! God has personally spoken thru you, using your blogs as a catalyst to wake us (both my husband and I) up and turn us to Him instead of ourselves or our friends. Thank you for this. I know God will reward in the heavenlies what our said words of meager thanks on earth fall short of, and for this I am thankful!
Blessings upon you and your family,
~kristy
Posted by: Kristy | June 23, 2006 12:44 PM
Can I just say "ditto" to what Liesl said? :-) She said what I feel so beautifully...
Posted by: Adrienne | June 23, 2006 1:07 PM
Not on point, but I think you've mentioned Anne LaMott before. I have read some terrible pieces by her in Salon. I don't say this to be unkind, but I was wondering if you were aware of it. She has astonishingly anti-biblical views at least on certain issues.
Not to say she may not have something good to say once in a while - I just found her pieces so off-putting I wondered to see her referenced here. Are there some books or things you've read by her that put her in a better light than her Salon articles?
Posted by: Marie | June 23, 2006 4:00 PM
I lived in the same county as Ann Lamott, so I'm familiar with her cultural milieu and the church she attends. We have some similar things in our backgrounds - like our age, being part of the counterculture, going through a 12-Step program and finally finding Jesus.
I'd been a Christian for a few years when Lamott became a Christian. In her writing, she says she had a vision of Jesus and experienced his love and forgiveness. She began to write and speak openly and enthusiastically about her love for Jesus even on unlikely venues like NPR.
Yet nothing else changed. She remained firm in her pro-abortion postion, for example. My own experience was that when I turned my life over to Christ, my perception and understanding of everything changed 180 degrees in a heartbeat.
Still I thought, "Oh, well, we're not all made from cookie-cutters. Maybe her journey will look different than mine but we will end up in the same place."
Unfortunately, after how many years? 10 maybe? Lamott's tender regard for Jesus has been drowned out by her shrill politics. I have loved portions of her earlier books - especially her comments about writing (she is what you would call a writer's writer because her candor and her insights into the writing life are helpful to those with this calling). But her latest book Plan B, was mostly a hate-filled diatribe against the Bush administration. It wasn't the political postion so much as the terrible hardness of her heart, her absolute hatred of conservatives that made me sad for the seed which seems to have fallen among thorns (Luke 8:4-13)
Marin County is a difficult place to be a Christian. Christians make up only 2% of the population and are reviled by the ultra-ultra-liberal majority. Lamott may not have received the challenges she needed in her church.
I use her writing quotes because in my experience they are true. I have some by Steven King as well :)
Posted by: barbara | June 23, 2006 4:27 PM
I didn't comment on the original post, but I did read them (and the comments.) Just wanted to say "Thanks" for provoking thought about how I want to raise my children!
Posted by: Addie | June 24, 2006 1:40 AM
Barbara wrote:
"Writers believe there are things nobody would understand unless they write about them."
It is the same in painting...(I was an aspiring studio painter in my "former" life")....I painted what I saw in the world that I felt needed to be captured on canvas for people to take note.....which included the good and the bad and sometimes, the ugly in our world.
Posted by: Tara | June 25, 2006 8:18 PM
