July 25, 2006 2:45 PM
Teen has right to refuse chemotherapy
Have you heard about the 16 year old boy who after undergoing one round of chemotherapy and having his cancer reappear has declined a second round - preferring to try an alternative therapy?
Story here. Cal Thomas, always a voice of reason, weighs in here.
I can hardly believe that his parents now have to share custody of him with Social Services - and that a judge has ordered him to undergo chemo.
Starchild Abraham Cherrix is appealing this decision.
*****News flash**** Another judge has overuled the first!
I'll fight until I do die. I'm not going to let it go," Abraham said Monday by phone from his home in Chincoteague on Virginia's Eastern Shore."I would rather die healthy and strong and in my house than die in a hospital bed, bedridden and unable to even open my eyes," said Abraham, who was so weakened by three months of chemotherapy last year that at times he could barely walk.
I've often thought the same thing. I would rather die a dignified death at home with my family than endure all the extraordinary treatment some people go through.
A couple years ago a friend of mine died. Her family pursued every single possible extraordinary method they could to keep her alive, even after the doctors had said they should let her go. Ironically, they would not allow any friends to visit her for the last year because they were so afraid any exertion would weaken her. I guess they wanted to hoard every bit of her to themselves.
She had been a dynamic and tremendously extroverted person who was always the center of attention wherever she went. She'd also been a loyal friend to me through some very tough times. She had three children who were all grown and was a devoted Christian.
I was flying out to California to speak at a women's luncheon shortly before Christmas and I called the husband and begged him to let me come visit. He said no, she was very frail. I had the feeling it would be my last opportunity to say goodbye and so I pressed, but then the oldest daughter joined the protection squad around her mother.
My friend died six weeks later. I never got to say goodbye.
I have told my family that is not the way I want to die - in and out of the hospital with one crisis after another. I want to be at peace and to say goodbye to the people who've been important to me. It is a mystery to me that Christians - who profess to believe that we will be with Jesus after we die - often are just as frightened of death as nonbelievers.
Starchild? Wonder what his parents were thinking? There must be a story there. Clearly there is a streak of nonconformity in this family. And nonconformity can be good. I want to die a nonconformist's death myself - a good, old-fashioned death at home in my bed with my family to say goodbye.
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Comments
I read your blog regularly and enjoy your stories; however, your logic is skewed here. As much as an adult has the right to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order, this same adult has the right to fight to the very end for their life.
I see a lot of beauty in your friend's fight to live. If you would choose to give up when things look bleak, as many do, that's certainly your choice; however, I commend anyone who fights with dignity. My own father fought to the very end despite doctors saying he would die anyway. While those extra two months meant little to the doctors, they meant the world to my father and my family.
I can understand you may be hurt if a friend chooses to spend their last few months with their family instead of you, but put yourself in her shoes. Chances are you would want to spend your time and limited energy on your closest loved ones rather than every single friend or acquaintance you have.
Posted by: Wes | July 25, 2006 5:00 PM
Hi Wes -
Thank God I said something you disagreed with since it elicited a comment :)
I don't know if my logic is skewed as much as we just have a difference of opinion. I certainly don't mean people should give up and die, but I don't think being rushed into the hospital every other day is a very dignified way to die and it's not what I want for myself. I never said I would give up. I said I didn't want extraordinary means used to prolong my life once severe suffering set in.
No one ever told me my friend didn't want to see her friends. Her family said they didn't want her to see her friends.
And I didn't say I was hurt. I simply segued into my relections on what I want when my own time has come.
But this isn't a topic that needs to be argued over. I appreciate your chosen path but it doesn't change how I feel about mine. And it's still a mystery to me why some Christians - who should be comfortable with death - are so frightened of it. After all, we will spend an eternity with our loved ones (and those we don't love on earth) in heaven.
Posted by: barbara | July 25, 2006 6:19 PM
I'm so glad that first judge's ruling was overturned.
On a similar note, my husband and I made a pact with each other that neither of us will be embalmed. I told him to just place my body in a plain wooden casket and bury me as simply as the law will allow (although I'm guessing there's a law against wooden caskets *sigh*).
Posted by: Jodi | July 25, 2006 7:31 PM
