July 2, 2006 4:10 PM
What's wrong with daycare?
Maybe a better question: "What isn't wrong with daycare?"
For SAHMs:
In case you ever feel like you've made the wrong choice, you need to read this insider's view of daycare by Erin at Unfolding Moments.
Certainly none of us moms is perfect, but the worst day of motherhood is undoubtedly better for kids than the best day of daycare. No one loves your children the way you do.
Posted in Current Affairs, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Do we really need to go there? Of course no one loves your child like you do. But there is still a place for daycare and I have used it. I'm not sure what I would have done when I had to go on bedrest with my second child and I already had a 20 month old son. Family and friends were not available and daycare was a lifesaver.
People also need to consider some of the changes that have occurred recently. The government now insists that mothers with you ng children receiving AFDC now work or train for work. This means their children will go to daycare. You might not like the decisions these women made. But if you want to encorage women to choose life regardless of their marital status, young single mothers will likely put their children in daycare so they can support them. It may be a couple of logical steps from supporting life to supporting daycare but it does not take a whole lot of imagination to get there.
Women may be forced to enter the workforce for a lot of reasons that are beyond their control and they will need help with their childcare. Both my maternal grandmother, her mother and my mother-in-law were widowed when their children were still school-age. They needed help with their children.
SAHM should be happy with their lives. But a little empathy would go a long way.
Posted by: Nora Greer | July 2, 2006 8:01 PM
My husband is a service electrician. One day he was working at a daycare in one of the most economically properous areas of Atlanta. He called me in the middle of the day because he had to talk... the constant crying of babies disturbed him so much. He never heard our 4 babies cry. ;)
He's no marshmallow, but he was having a difficult time getting through the day. He described the "infant room" as a bunch of carseats sitting around with crying babies in them. He didn't see caretakers, he was working behind the scenes. It sure made him proud that I've been home for 8 years and raising his kids.
Posted by: Carrie | July 3, 2006 12:02 AM
Thank you for posting that link. I've never seen her blog before, but will probably be a regular visitor. (as with yours!) It WAS a very enlightening post on daycare.
Many people often assume (falsely) that because I stay home w/ our son, we must be well-off financially. SO NOT TRUE! We rent, have only one car, no cell phones, etc. Yes, it's hard. And yes, we'd like more. But we feel it's an important sacrifice-delaying those material things as long as we can fulfill true needs- so that I can stay home to raise my child.
I truly believe that when many moms say they "have" to work (consequently using daycare), they are not being honest with themselves. Are there really no cut backs you could make? Is it not a matter of having the more luxurious things you'd "like" to fit in with society? It's sad by how blinded we've become, to believe we "need" so many things. What we NEED is the courage to sacrifice and be there for our families- children and spouses alike.
Sorry for my ever-long post! :) Have a wonderful 4th!
Posted by: Sharon | July 3, 2006 8:18 AM
Hi Barb!
I just felt I'd respond to this and Erin's post. I have a dayhome within my own home. While I know I never will replace the kid's own mom, I try my best to meet their every need with love. I try to see the face of Jesus on each child in my care. I know ideally Mom being at home is the best thing, but I've had parents where that was next to impossible. In a society where one parent works to pay the taxes, the other the bills, if the dad is an unskilled laborer it bites. I also look at my work as a ministry to these children and their parents and look for ways to share God's love and salvation. I think in the cases of Erin's experience, parents should take note and learn from it and if you need child care be the informed parent and ask questions, don't be shy, check references, etc. The mom at home is ideal. Praise God for those that do have that chance. But some just don't. I don't feel it is any of our places to judge another parent asking if they cannot make more cutbacks in their life because we have. Some cannot and are not working for "luxury" stuff. They are working to survive and not be in squalor and is it fair to sit back and pat ourselves on the back saying we did it, why can't you? when we have no idea of their true situation. Yes, some are working for reasons other than survival, but I'm not refering to those.
Posted by: Susanne | July 3, 2006 11:08 AM
Nora Greer-
Most pro-life people want to make it easier for women to keep their babies but as of right now most women who are not married and/or have low income have very few options. That is an injustice that will not be remedied by downlpaying the negataive aspects of daycare. Women and their children deserve better than daycare, and better than abortion. It is up to our communities to find ways to do as the bible instructed and help the fatherless.
Posted by: paigeu | July 3, 2006 12:29 PM
