August 12, 2006 3:03 PM
Diet Talk
Been browsing sites of other dieters. It is SO motivating to see before and after pictures, don't you think? I don't have time right now to list a bunch, but start with
Good Houskeeping Success Stories
Oprah's Incredible Weight Loss Stories (click on Gallery under Amazing Transformations)
Hey, that's an idea - next time you feel like eating, spend some time looking at pictures of people who've battled their food addiction and won. It doesn't matter whether the before and after shots are on Nutrisystems or Weight Watchers. You don't have to be on the same diet to be inspired by the difference losing a lot of FAT can make.
I'm wearing size 14 denim capris now. Feel so wonderful! Yesterday my 16-year-old Sophia said, "Hello, Skinny!" when she saw me. I know I'm not skinny and I still have weight to lose, but that really did make me feel terrific. She never could have said something like that before - ever since she's known me, I've been overweight. Yes, she's seen pictures of me when I was thin, but never been able to enjoy having a mom she could be proud of.
My family still insists that my weight did not bother them. I think that's really part of the illness in a family with an overweight person - everyone's in denial. I've been fat and I've been thin and I know from experience that being fat just doesn't feel good or right, not matter how you pretend to others and yourself that it's okay. Or worse - that everyone else has a problem for not accepting you the way you are. What kind of baloney is that?
I wonder if Sophia had ever said, "Hello, Fatty" to me whether I would have been motivated to change. My oldest daughter says she prayed for me for eight years to lose weight while watching me gain. I asked why she didn't say something direct and she says she didn't feel comfortable.
Why not? If you see someone killing themselves with drugs or alcohol or food, why not just say so?
There's not much I ever admired about my mother, but I will say that she was instrumental in changing my first husband's life. He was very overweight when we got married. I loved him anyway because he was such a funny guy - always the life of the party. Literally. People waited for him to arrive for the party to really begin. I'd been a wallflower all my life and so loved hanging on his arm and basking in his glory. But on some level it was painful to see our wedding pictures. Pictures don't convey the essence of a person - just the looks. And I know it was probably a question in everyone's mind how I could overlook his physical appearance.
We'd been married a few months when my mother asked me one day, "How much does Jeff weigh?" I said I didn't know. She said, "Well, he really needs to lose weight."
That night I asked Jeff how much he weighed. He didn't know. I made him get on our bathroom scale so he could see. The next day we both went on a diet - me mostly as a support. I weighed 135 and went down to 115 - which was way too skinny for my 5'5" frame. But Jeff went from 270 to 180. Although he did bounce up and down a little over the next 30 years, he never got anywhere near that heavy again.
All because someone was brave enough to speak up and say something directly about his weight.
I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. But I am also a firm believer in the power of the truth. People who are fat need to hear the truth. Being fat is a sign of self-indulgence. There’s just no way around it, folks. To be fat, you must take in more calories than you expend. To stop being fat you have to cut back on calories - plain and simple.
I don't feel sorry for myself or others who have to be strict with our food intake. Remember, I have four kids with disabilities who have to work very hard to accomplish what they accomplish. What right do fat people have to moan and complain about how hard our lives are?
The fact is that every fat person has a spiritual battle we need to fight and win. One of our biggest problems is being surrounded by enablers - people who accept us and love us as we are. Which means our own sin of self-indulgence creates sin in others too.
If anyone has ever spoken to you about your overweight condition directly and you have been offended, you ought to rethink it. That person certainly loves you (or God) to run the risk of your wrath by telling you the truth. Really you owe them a big thank you. And you owe it to yourself - and your husband and children - to become the best you can be.
Check out The Amazing Shrinking Mom's Liar, Liar, Fat Pants on Fire for more on how we delude ourselves. That's a great blog for dieters to read every day.
Comments
"I don't feel sorry for myself or others who have to be strict with our food intake. Remember, I have four kids with disabilities who have to work very hard to accomplish what they accomplish. What right do fat people have to moan and complain about how hard our lives are?"
"Really you owe them a big thank you. And you owe it to yourself - and your husband and children - to become the best you can be."
Aaack, Barbara,
I've been reading your dieting posts this whole time thinking, "I should really lose some weight (ha - "some" - try 30-35 pounds!) La, la, la...."
Today's post really spoke to me. Uh, not in the way I *like* to be spoken to...mind you. *wink* Because I would really like to just stay right where I am. But then, sanctification isn't about pleasing *my* flesh, is it.
Joining this journey with you...(now)
Thanks, Barbara.
(Uh, I *think*. *Grin*)
In Christ alone,
Kari
Blog Team, ChristianWomenOnline.net
Posted by: Kari | August 12, 2006 3:35 PM
Great post, Barbara. Thanks for the link!
Posted by: shrinkingmom (aka Mel) | August 12, 2006 9:03 PM
I read this post last night, and I'm back to de-lurk and comment. I must ask you (and maybe I've missed it in your previous posts), what changed? What made you decide to be honest, and "get real" with yourself? It takes more than willpower to beat an addiction. What work is God doing in your life underneath? Has it been the "voice" you've been given through your writing? Perhaps you no longer have a need to stuff the mute of food in your mouth. I'm curious because so many women struggle in this area--I think more so than men. Given that women are the more verbal gender, it would make sense that eating and "voice" are connected... they're both oral activities. (Sorry, don't mean to get too psyho-pop or analytical on you!) But I AM curious to know what's going on in your heart.
BTW, I'm a size 10, 5'4" and fifty-something. I DO pay attention to my health and diet... it's not blissful unawareness that keeps my weight down. I look REALLY great as a size 8, but that's a challenge to maintain, and at my age, does it make sense to look pre-adolescent? Women are supposed to have SOME curves!
Anyway, thank you for your brutal honesty and all of your inspiring posts on weight-loss.
Many blessings.
Posted by: e-Mom | August 15, 2006 5:40 PM
My mother recently died from complications due to obesity. My father never said much to her to help her; he said more hurtful things. I used to watch Richard Simmons and cry, and try to get her to change her life. She tried many diets, including a liquid protein thing in the 70s which helped her to lose 70 lbs. She never won her spiritual battle, however.
Her last ditch effort was to have gastric bypass surgery last fall. The recovery from that surgery killed her, I believe, because she was unable to keep any food down, and she was diabetic. What a deadly combination!
Anyway, I'm writing to tell you that just telling a fat person they're fat doesn't always do it. I told her that numerous times, and I loved her.
Posted by: Angie | August 16, 2006 7:26 AM
