October 23, 2006 3:16 PM
Books - knowing when to stop
My writer friend Mary at Relevant Girl has weighed in on the drudgery of reading lifeless Christian books.
When a commenter asked whether she was going to finish it, I could almost hear the sigh in her voice:
Usually I put these down, but I might finish this one. I suppose it's that leftover weird guilt I have, coming from this weird legalism that says something like:
IF YOU STARTETH A BOOK, YOU MUST FINISHETH IT.
I struggled with that bondage for years. But as I've gotten older - and still with six kids at home so not that much time to read anyway - I've realized there just isn't time for that.
I went through a transition where for a while, I ended up with a stack of a dozen books with bookmarks in different places - next to the ever-growing stack of books I wanted to read. My thought was that I'd read something more interesting for a while and then get back to whatever it was that wasn't resonating.
Finally, I just got brave and got rid of all the books with bookmarks (saving the bookmarks, of course) and moved on.
I can't judge all books I can't get into harshly, because who knows? They may speak to someone. But isn't that all the more reason to just release them from my bedside?
How about you? If you've been dying to drop a book that's boring you - even if it's one of mine - consider yourself absolved of all responsibility. Mother Barbara hereby gives you permission to move on to something you like.
It's hard to realize when you're young, but life's too short - and so is time when you're a mommy - to waste it on words that don't speak to you.
Comments
Ahh, I like your attitude, Mother Barbara :)
I realized that for years I have been recommending certain books and saying, "Yes I read this book, and I liked it because of this or didn't like it because of that" when I often hadn't read the ENTIRE book. I started feeling bad about that. I think it's OK, though, don't you?
I usually have my nose in 5-10 books at a time. I get bored with just one. And before I even read a book (non-fiction), I read the intro, the table of contents, the last few pages, a few random pages from the inside, and a chapter that strikes my fancy. By then I usually know if I WANT to read the book, and for whom the book may make a good recommendation.
I AM, however, very much enjoying "classic" boy literature with my sons. In the past few months we have read Old Yeller, Amos Fortune Free Man, Johnny Texas, and Shadrach. And I am a better woman for them. I am more understanding of men and boys. I am more in love with Fiction, when I used to think Fiction was a waste of time -- boy was I missing out!
Anyway, nice post! :)
Posted by: Deborah | October 23, 2006 6:35 PM
I love books, libraries, used books, old books, amazon.com, and "must have" way too many. I even like to read, too. : - ) and I am way past the book / reading guilt problem. No time to waste.
Book quirks:
If the book is large but the printface is large, I figure the publisher is trying to make it appear as if there is a lot of depth that isn't there.
If I read a romance and the characters are "in love" too early, I won't keep reading.
If I pick up a book in the library and a corner is folded somewhere in the middle of the book, I figure the last person to borrow it never made it all the way through, so why should I even try?
I like to have a selection of books at all times. Library books, purchases - always more than one if I'm traveling or going to be stuck somewhere.
Am I the only one with book quirks?
Posted by: Valerie | October 23, 2006 11:36 PM
Such wise words. I have this "must finish task" mentality. But, I agree, time is too precious during these busy years to waste on books that just aren't speaking to us. Thanks for the mothering. :)
Posted by: amelia | October 23, 2006 11:41 PM
Reading George MacDonald has made me even more likely to put down a book. I used to like a lot more Christian fiction before I read him. After reading and re-reading his books, I just can't force myself to read the drivel I used to enjoy.
I used to want to finish everything, too, but I gave that up years ago, even before I had kids.
When I was very young, I determined I was going to read every book in the library. I started with the fiction section, at the beginning--the A's. I got halfway through the B's before I decided my time was better spent reading books I actually enjoyed!
Posted by: Elizabeth B | October 24, 2006 12:27 AM
Thanks for releasing me of the guilt!!! And I appreciate the link, too.
Blessings to you, Barbara, as you reach out to so many families.
Posted by: relevantgirl | October 24, 2006 6:13 AM
I was one of those "if you start something you HAVE to finish it" readers most of my life. It wasn't until my youngest son died in April that I finally began to realize that it was okay to set something I really wasn't enjoying aside. Strangely enough, my children have really appreciated the difference in my attitude.
Posted by: Birdiemom | October 24, 2006 10:12 PM
I've had to teach my dear children this, too. Although I frequently read two or three books at a time, depending on what I have the fortitude for when my reading time comes around, I never read a book I don't enjoy. Watching my older children struggle through dull books because they thought they had to, well, it broke my heart. There are so many GOOD books. No one's time should be wasted on unpleasant ones.
Posted by: Jennie C. | October 25, 2006 6:58 PM
