October 23, 2006 11:21 AM
Christian landscaper boycotts gay clients
I was very sorry to see this news: Christian landscaper won't soil hands with work for 'gay' clients.
While some Christians may think this is a courageous position, it reminds me of the Pharisees reacting angrily to Jesus spending time with tax collectors and prostitutes.
If we refuse to do business with those we consider sinners in the form of homosexuals, then why not refuse to do business with divorced people, adulterers, drunkards and people who cheat on their income tax?
Taken to its logical conclusion, I guess we would end up being completely "righteous" by avoiding all contact with those tainted with sin - but I guess we'd find ourselves without any work at all :)
Why shouldn't a Christian contractor work for gay clients? Isn't it better for us to be salt and light than to shun a whole group of people because of our understanding as Christians that their lifestyle involves sin? And why do Christians regard homosexuality as the worst sin of all? Does it make us feel better about the "minor" sins - like gluttony, pride, lust - in our own lives? Aren't our sins - no matter how "minor" really worse because we understand the concept of sin?
I spent a few years living with gay men in San Francisco. When I became a Christian in 1987, of course I had a different understanding of homosexuality than I had had before - not because anyone told me what I should believe, but as C. S. Lewis writes in The Weight and the Glory:
I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen.
Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it.
Having had experience living in both worlds has given me a different perspective. Having seen more sin than I ever expected to encounter inside the realm of Christianity - even if it's "only" gluttony, pride, and lust, shouldn't Christians have a higher standard? - I am surprised at how easily Christians forget that at the foot of the Cross the ground is equal.
My idea of how to live as an authentic follower of Christ in a culture which had drifted towards a diversity many never expected is not to set up barriers which people on the other side will never understand. Sure, it's easier to just cut off the "sinners" and feel safe and sanctified, but is that the kind of life Jesus modeled for us?
In an article I wrote for World magazine 8/21/99, I described the tension in my life as I struggled to be an authentic Christian in a rapidly-changng culture. We were living then in Petaluma, California, just over the Marin County line and an hour north of San Francisco:
NIMBY
NOW in my backyardI wasn’t ready for this so close to home. After all, I live in a rural, relatively unsophisticated town, boasting not a single shopping mall or pet psychiatrist, where people shop at Kmart and are thankful to have one. I thought we might remain backward yet a while longer – at least until my children were all grown.
Still, we’re only an hour north of the Golden Gate Bridge, and on weekends the freeway which slices our town hosts an ever-growing stream of upscale cars carrying two men apiece to the funky river resort towns another hour north. Noticeably distinct from local types sporting Ford pickups and hunting rifles, these passers-through are more inclined to BMWs and fancy bikes. With no women or children to provide for, they can afford it.
Sometimes on the freeway perched high in my own BMW – BigMamaWagon – I see them holding hands, looking a lot like two left shoes. At 65 miles per hour it’s not so hard to shrug off.But I wasn’t flying down the freeway last week, just making a bank deposit. My teller was new, and breaking new ground at our bank – four earrings, no less. As he typed in my transaction, my eyes grazed his name tag, then the walls of his cubby – browsing for pictures of wife, girlfriend, kids, or pets.
Sure enough, there was a wedding picture, a couple under an arbor abloom with pink. “Doug”, smaller, younger, and clearly quite smitten, held hands with his new partner. Two tuxedos, no bouquet.
So now it’s in my own backyard, once so far from San Francisco’s Castro District, formerly my stomping ground as a “fag hag”– affectionately, a straight woman who hangs out with gay men, or in my case even lived with them. How did it happen? I can only say that when I walked in darkness, I walked farther than most. I thought it was hip.
It wasn’t really. These PC “wedding” pictures now gracing magazines – and who knows? maybe lots of cubbies like Doug’s – are way different than the debauchery I saw in the late 70's. My guess is that among young gay men they are still the exception, rather than the rule.
The dominating force in the homosexual community I knew was unbridled, unfettered male lust. Bathhouses and places even more unspeakable offered access to hundreds of anonymous partners a year. Gays boasted of their records, outdoing each other and themselves in sheer numbers and types of perversion.
That was pre-AIDS, of course. And though that may have put a temporary damper on, the party seems once again to be in full swing. For years gays have been demanding a cure which will allow them to continue their very reckless behavior. Now in San Francisco they clamor for the reopening of the bathhouses, which were closed in the 80's to prevent the spread of disease. The Annual Gay Pride Parade continues to look like a descent into the torments of hell. Not at all the image conveyed in Doug’s wedding picture.
Monogamy – that was for dumb heterosexuals, or “breeders.”
Now Breeder Supreme, I wonder what Doug is thinking as he sifts through my bundle of checks – article payments from places like Focus on the Family, Southern Baptists, the Salvation Army. Will he pigeonhole me as his enemy? I’m not. I want to ask him how he got here, where he’s going. I’d really like him to know how much I care.
“You’re new here, aren’t you?” I begin. “Are you from Petaluma?” I smile a lot, maybe too much. I hope not.
As a Conservative/Christian-Come-Lately I’ve had to reconcile what I know firsthand to be wrong with the “other” side with what I observe to be wrong with my own. Here is what I see:
We claim to love the sinner and hate the sin, but the problem of homosexuality and its destructive effects within our society has surely made it a challenge. Still, it can’t be right for Christianity to be pitted against homosexuality as though it were the worst sin on parade. I recently heard of a pastor who resigned his position and filed for divorce to marry the also-inconveniently-already-married church secretary. His main complaint: his wife was too fat. Is his sin less than Doug’s? Such hypocrisy makes our very specific outrage over homosexuality difficult for those in darkness to understand.
As though it were planned, I seem to wind up with Doug as my teller more often than not these days. He sorts through my collection of “enemy” checks while we talk of the weather, the weekend, whatever.
It’s not that hard. I know more than most that a life can be turned 180 degrees. In the meantime I choose to be friends with Doug. Someday that may make a difference.
You can find more of my thoughts on how to live as a Christian in today’s culture in my book Reaching the Left from the Right.
Posted in Church Issues, Current Affairs | Permalink
Comments
I agree with you...but, do we draw the line somewhere? I would think it would be quite sinful to landscape the outside of an abortion clinic...or to be a contractor building one.
Posted by: Marie | October 23, 2006 1:42 PM
Marie - yes, you are right. I certainly would not work on building or landscaping an abortion clinic. But I can't imagine that Jesus would want us to refuse to associate with individual sinners - since he did himself. He came for the sick, not the well.
Posted by: barbara | October 23, 2006 2:59 PM
Hi Barbara, Just to put this issue in a bit more perspective, I have recently been meditating on a verse in Ez. 16:49-50 To save your time I will type it here:"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good." Sodomy is repulsive to me, but so is the fact that I am very overweight (sticking to my diet and have lost three sizes so far!! thanks to your pep talks), prideful, nor do I claim to work myself twelve hours a day six days a week, and I have a very poor track record for reaching out to poor and needy. I have been asking myself since the diet progess has been getting a move on, how I can have a more productive day, and what can I do significantly in my corner of the world for the poor and needy. Now is the time of year when soup kitchens are looking for big handouts. I figure I can at least devote 10%of my food budget to help there and be more frugal with my share, but that is only a scratch. I have been giving this a lot of thought: pride, overeating, leisure, and selfishness. I have a lot of homework don't I? I might not have enough time to think about other people's troubles for a while. Pam
Posted by: Pam | October 23, 2006 4:10 PM
Barbara,
Oh, I so totally agree with your article. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at the hate that "Christians" have towards gays. I have a friend that was a lesbian at one time and my love had never changed for her. Of course I was sad that that was the road she took, but no sadder than me being sad at my niece for living with her boyfriend.
I cringe when I hear Christian radio programs stand so against the Gays, when I think that a gay could be listening to this and think that "Christians" are so hateful, it makes me cry. I know the radio shows aren't trying to say that they hate the gays, but it's seems that a non-believer/new believer would think it was so.
I completely understand how we have to be careful, ie: not doing landscaping for an abortion clinic, etc. But I think it's so important for us to shine His light brightly. God isn't in Heaven looking down on the gays.... no, he loves us all and wants all of us to come to him. We need to really examine the "Hate the sin, Love the sinner" concept. I think that we as Christians are scared and we don't really understand how to "deal with sinners", even though we ourselves are sinners ourselves...
Sorry this was so long!
~B
Posted by: B | October 23, 2006 5:00 PM
It's never as easy as people think. I used to be of the opinion that homosexuals should be left alone but the more I understand my faith the more I think that perhaps I am to show love but also let them know that I do not agree with their sinful ways. It is easier to find out homosexual sin than the examples you used. One thing that really angers me though is that as a Christian, I should have a right to not do business with anyone I don't want to. It does not matter if it is race or sexual preference. If someone does not like that I am a homemaker then fine, I am sure I will find someone else to do business with. It is simply a case that homosexuals want to shove things down our throats and we will be left with no freedom. At some point, ALL Chrstians need to stand up and fight against this. If we don't then our future is at stake. We won't be able to own any businesses.
I am learning more and more about love the sinner, hate the sin but the Bible does call it a abomination too. Does being a Christian mean that we have NO rights anymore? Where does one draw the line? After all, one day we won't be able to buy any more Mrs. Curtis books (or read her articles) because they might say that homosexuality is wrong. It's a very slippery slope.
One last thing, I don't think that this was a accident either. After reading the information provided on the links it stated that the Ferbers have a link to nogaymarriage.org. It's on thier website. It seems to me that something caught thier eye. If Mr. Ferber would have done the job he would be called a hypocrite because he didn't stand by his beliefs, instead now he is facing the wrath of the homosexual groups agenda. No freedom for Christians in America.
Mrs. DMG
Posted by: Mrs. DMG | October 23, 2006 6:20 PM
Actually, Mrs. DMG, I'm in complete agreement with you: a person does have the right to own a business and refurse service to anyone he pleases. I definitely am opposed to legislation against those rights. I don't believe this person should be MADE to work for gays as I don't believe the Boy Scouts should be MADE to accept gay Scout Masters.
I am not talking about what's legal in the eyes of the State. I'm talking about looking at how Jesus behaved and trying to follow his example. My guess is that if Jesus were here today he would be having dinner with gay people and everyone in the church would be flabbergasted - as they were in the Bible when they didn't approve of the sinners he spent time with.
He said he didn't come for the well, but the sick. As we are Christ's ambassadors (2Corinthiams 5:20), my idea is that we should be representing him in the way that he taught us through his example.
Therefore if I were a businessperson I would look at this as an opportunity rather than asserting my right to refuse service.
You are right - the difference between homosexuals and other sinners is that in the political wars they have become way too in-your-face about pushing their agenda. Their graceless behavior is no excuse for us to depart from the teachings of Christ, though. And my point about other sins is that other sins are secret and so any Christian in the business world is probably doing business with sinners - divorced people, porn addicts, gluttons - many of them Christians whose call to sanctification makes them more accountable, in my opinion, than non-believers.
No one would have called Mr. Ferber a hypocrite for working for a homosexual - except maybe those hateful Christians who carry picket signs saying "God hates fags."
So I'm not saying Mr. Ferber should be legally forced to work for gays. I think as a Christian he needs to examine his heart.
Posted by: barbara | October 23, 2006 6:59 PM
Sing it sister!! and add my voice to the chorus. This is something very close to my heart.
It is easier to find out homosexual sin than the examples you used.
I disagree. My weight is evidence of gluttony. My mouth will give away my sins of pride. One glance in my home will show that I have indulged in too much idleness.
I'm not saying homosexuality is right or OK. It's just not any worse than the sins I commit every day.
Posted by: whimsy | October 23, 2006 7:35 PM
I think this contractor has definitely crossed a line in regards to loving his neighbors (that is, he isn't.) But sometimes it's such a fine line that it's hard to see.
It's obvious that in following Christ's example we should be willing to eat with sinners, be their friends, show them love. Thank God for that, or most of us would be very lonely what with all the other Christians boycotting us.
I think it's also obvious that in loving sinners, we can't tred into an area where we help them commit sin (building an abortion clinic, setting up our gay friend on a homosexual date, etc.), actively approve of their sin (legalizing gay marriage or abortion), or allow them to teach our children that their sins are perfectly normal and natural behaviors. I think that's why we get so up in arms about certain sins like abortion and homosexuality -- because those are exactly the things they want from us, and decry us as hateful for not providing.
I recently watched a video in a small group Bible study which talked about the dangers of "politicizing" Christianity. And I think this is a real danger. But how do you even say, "Please stop murdering children," without being accused of having an "agenda"? I think we sometimes over-react out of a genuine and perhaps legitimate fear that our culture and our children are being destroyed and there's nothing we can do about it.
I guess that would be a good ending for this comment, but I had another thought -- that makes it all the more important to not be truly hateful, doesn't it? If we just become what they accuse us of, we lose any remnant of credibility we once had.
Posted by: Michelle | October 23, 2006 9:21 PM
