October 4, 2006 3:46 PM
Diet dish
From a reader:
Dear Barbara -
I read your blog frequently and I enjoy the brain food and support as a mother. I've been thinking a lot about your weight loss and the possibility that I could lose weight too. I am 120 lbs overweight and it just seems like it is "who I am"...or that it's just something that I cannot change like eye color or skin type. Isn't that a farce? You've written about the deception you've upheld for many years about your weight gain and that really stuck with me. I generally think I am a "straight shooter" but when I open up that idea to include my deception about my weight, I am guilty of lying. I simply lie to myself and my family helps me just like yours did in the past. So, all this to say that I appreciate your candor and your self examination in a
public arena where it can bolster my confidence and peel away layers of lies I've told myself to stay heavy.I started counting calories last week. Passé (I know) but frankly when you count everything that goes into your mouth, you REALLY have to face your eating habits. My lifestyle definitely supported my weight gain. Now I am aiming for 1600-2000 calories a day. That is to get my stomach to go back to it's normal and healthy size and so I can remember what hunger feels like again between meals. I remember a friend who had bariatric bypass a few years ago told me that afterward she kept thinking she was hungry. The doctor had to tell her repeatedly those feelings in her stomach were an empty stomach, she wasn't hungry at all. She had denied herself the opportunity to feel hungry for 10 years and forgot how it felt.
That's what I fear I've done to myself. I am addicted to the feeling of a very full stomach and I know that contributes to my obesity. At any rate, my program of choosing wise foods and recording everything I eat has paid off.
As of this morning I have lost 8 pounds.
Which isn't that amazing when I consider how many calories I consumed prior to this week. I bet my body is very ready to give up the fat...and I am happy to give it up too.
So thank you Barbara, I have joined you on this new lifestyle and I am willing to face up to my fat and the motivations behind it.
J
Dear J - and anyone else who needs a little pep talk :)
Yay!!!
You can do it!!!! I know because I did. I lost the first 45 pounds in 4 months. Four months isn't really that long a time and it was very motivating. Now after eight months I've lost 67. I still have 35 pounds to go. I weigh 185 but am size 14 and feel really good about myself. So I am slowing down now, just eating small amounts and avoiding fast foods and fat foods. The truth is, I really don't want them anymore anyway.
The diet I went on really broke my addiction. If you had asked me before I would have said I had no addiction to food, my metabolism was slow, yadayadayada. But when you are on a strict diet and feel that hand-to-mouth impulse and have to stifle, you realize how unconscious you were about your eating. Also when I see other overweight people stuffing themselves I realize that that's what I once looked like. Not a pretty picture.
I've also seen how much denial I was in about my appearance and attitude toward life. Because when you get right down to it, overeating and obesity changes the quality of your life for the worse. You can't move and be active the way you would if you were correctly proportioned (that is, the way God designed us). And basically, no matter what a good person you are in every other area, you have this secret vice of self-indulgence. So I was the nice woman who adopted kids with Down syndrome - did that give me permission to let myself go to pot and not be the best wife I could be for my husband? Yes, it's what's inside that's important, but obesity is a reflection of a stronghold of selfishness that isn't erased just through good works.
Another ugly characteristic about myself and other obese people: feeling entitled to be accepted for our fat selves. Why? Would I have accepted my husband putting on an extra hundred pounds while I kept myself in shape? No way. And is it the loving thing to do to accept (read: unconditionally love) people who are on a path to self-destruction? To my mind, the loving thing is to confront someone who is wallowing in a problem and offer them a hand to hold while they let God help them out.
I wish members of my family had said something to me rather than "loving me the way I was." But it's still my responsibility. I have apologized to my husband for being so self-destructive. Apologizing is a good way to make yourself accountable. Then you have to finish what you started :)
Here I am on my soapbox. But I am so thrilled you have started this journey. Don't give up! I've been watching The Biggest Loser, which is on tonight and it is really motivating. I don't have the time to join Weight Watchers or anything - that's why I say different programs work for different people and it's not that one particular diet is best, it's just that you have to decide you're finished being fat.
When people ask me how I managed this time to see my diet through, I think of a phrase we used in AA: I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Obesity doesn't make you sick and tired the way alcoholism does, but it does have its own brand of sick and tired. One of my sons weighs exactly the amount I have lost. Now when I think of how hard it is to lift him - much less, carry him around - I am amazed. And not surprised that most days I used to fall asleep in front of my computer or just give in and take a nap. I wouldn't even think of that now! Life is just too good to be true!
I am out of the plus sizes! I find I need fewer clothes now. Before I overshopped - always loooking for that elusive outfit that would make me look thinner. Now I can just dress like other people. Now that I can move freely I see how restricted my movement was before. Now that I feel good about myself, I see how bad I felt about myself - though I never would have admitted it to myself even.
So do hang in there. Seeing before and after pictures of people who've lost weight is a big motivator for me. I have some links posted in previous entries. Just check under the category Diet.
I'll add your 8 pounds to the collective weight loss over on the right sidebar [note to fellow travelers: send me your updated weight loss to see this figure grow]
Comments
Great job and Amen! I know we should all be happy with the basic shape God gave us (short,tall,skinny muscular, curvy, straight) but I don't believe He intended for any of us to be fat. It's also a bad Christian witness to the World: Christian=a million kids=fat and frumpy...no thanks. And all this talk about modesty and feminine dressing is great; but what woman looks "feminine" at 300lbs? We women owe it to our husbands to look attractive (not Hollywood glam or perfect) and we owe it to our children to set an example of health and self-control. What would Jesus do? Well, he wouldn't hide in the bathroom and eat 1/2 a cheesecake in order to "de-stress!"
I love your site, keep up the great work.
p.s.
Have you posted some photos of your "new" you yet?
Posted by: Marie | October 4, 2006 8:00 PM
Great post! I just wanted to comment something about Weight Watchers. They have an "at home" program that doesn't involve meetings, and that is what I've used. I've found that the point counting (using their cool little calculator gadget and guidebooks) is really not difficult. And their recipes are great!
I just went back on it because I noticed that my weight was creeping back up again, mainly because of too much indulging. "Just this one little treat" was turning into a regular thing for me!
Thanks for dealing so honestly with a topic that is so hard to be honest about.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 5, 2006 9:10 AM
I've lost 45.4 pounds now. This was a great post!
(It's me, Mel.)
Posted by: Shrinkingmom | October 6, 2006 4:51 PM
