November 27, 2006 2:59 PM
Keeping Christmas traditions in perspective
From a reader:
Dear Barbara,Both my husband and I come from functional families with liturgical roots. Since you are highlighting advent here are some things that work for us or have worked for our families.
- Will and I decide together, usually on a date, what 5 things are most important to each of us to enjoy Christmas. Anything else is extra and if we don't get to it and start stressing the other ask if it is one of our 5 things. This allows us to not overbook, overdo and over-yell during this season. (Christmas cards often don't make our top 5, my SIL does cards but making cookies is not on the top 5.)
- Advent Calendar to count down to Christmas day. Advent is supposed to be a season of waiting and opening only one window each day does let the kids see how long until Christmas. My kids loved the one my mom gave them 2 years ago that had a small piece of chocolate each day.
- Our Christmas tree does not go up until the Saturday before Christmas. It then stays up until Twelfth Night, about January 6th which is when the 3 Wise men arrived.
- My very social little daughter has a Christmas cookie making party with all her friends. This year it will be all the girls from her kindergarten class plus a few friends from church. We cut out or mold some colored cookie dough and bake them. We also make some cookies ahead in the shape of angels or stars and frost and decorate them. We are doing this on the 8th of December.
- We always listen to Handel's Messiah. Often while wrapping presents or decorating the tree. You can get/borrow a copy from the library if you do not have one.
- We let the kids open one present on Christmas Eve night. It is always new pajamas they can wear. This makes for better pictures the next morning.
- We go to church on Christmas eve and open one present. No kids are allowed downstairs until sunrise on Christmas morning (Thank you God that it is almost the longest night of the year.) Everyone gets to open their stockings. We then eat breakfast and wait for Grandpa to arrive. After Grandpa gets there we open presents. On the 26th we gather together at Grandpa's house with all of the extended family and open presents and have a big feast. A day or two later we get together with my brothers and their family and open presents and have another feast the other side of the family. Almost all of our extended family is in California so we can stretch out the celebration. My son says we do the twelve days of Christmas. It started because one of my SIL is an ICU nurse and she always had to work Christmas Day. What we found was that by extending the holiday we had happier and less tired kids. They get the presents from Mom & Dad on one day, The presents from one set of Grandparents on another day and the second set of present on a third day. Toys get played with, everyone gets seen, no one has to eat 2 or 3 different feasts on the same day. It takes the pressure off.
- We often bake a Birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas day. We sing happy birthday too.
- Please ask your readers to give their kids a rest (or nap) during this season especially Christmas eve and Christmas Day. Spreading the gifts over several days also helps prevent meltdowns.
- During December we make sure to read favorite Christmas stories at bedtime to all the kids.
One idea that I got from you that we are trying this year-all the kids are getting stickers and Dover coloring books and crayons in their stockings. I also give them 1 piece of their favorite candy and a new toothbrush in the stockings.
Blessings this advent.
Jane Duquette
Jane's first point reminds me: No matter what your traditions are, you should not be a slave to them. The traditions exist to serve the family, not vice versa. So though our tradition is to cut down a tree, there have been years when we had to let that go. And though I do like to send Christmas cards, there have been years that I haven't.
The important thing is not to lose sight of the reason for the season. Don't let stress and pushing yourself to provide the perfect Christmas ruin the joy for you. I had to laugh at Marie's comment on my post about cutting down our Christmas tree:
Ourselves, we've been developing a family tradition of finding the fake tree in its dilapidated cardboard box out in the garage every year!Good times. . .:)
When I describe the traditions Tripp and I have made for our family, it's just to share ideas. I am so far from Martha Stewart, it’s not even funny. The last thing I want to do is add any pressure to anyone's holidays! So just remember: whatever you decide to make part of your family's Christmas, always remember you have the freedom each year to include it or not. Only include it if you have time and it makes you happy.
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The writer of this post reminded me to tell you, Barbara, THANKS for a wonderful THanksgiving : ) We had a family from church with us, lots of kids, and we broke out the Dover coloring books and colored pencils while the guys watched football...what fun! EVERYBODY was coloring and visiting : )
Posted by: floorplan | November 27, 2006 5:25 PM
