November 29, 2006 4:25 PM
What about this picture?
[Note: this is about a picture that is no longer here, as I have reverted to my old picture - but I left the post because it and the comments illustrate something about honest communication]
Just received this from my hubby at work:
Hi Honey!Just checked mommylife and saw your new picture. I don't like it. I think it makes you look hardbitten, kind of cynical, and arrogant. Sort of like one of those uppity female lawyers on the cable shows. Not my beautiful, soft, compassionate, full of humility and grace Mother of all Mothers.... I don't think it goes with your message, unless you want to be the next Ann Coulter.
Written with love(though frankly written,)
T
Okay, I really need to know if this is what you all are seeing. Should I junk this picture? I actually paid for a professional to take it because I needed to update my business cards and brochures.
Please be honest. I know two of you have said you like it, but maybe those of you who haven't said anything are just being polite?
Posted in Blogging | Permalink
Comments
Hi Barbara,
What a funny message from your hubby! I actually liked your former photo better -- I think it looks more like the real "you" I met at ICRS this summer. I love the photos you submitted for the upcoming January 2007 profile in Today's Christian. What a hoot! Your readers will get a kick out of those.
My real question is: how do you insert that cool "Barbara" signature at the end of all your blog posts?
-Laura
Posted by: Laura Christianson | November 29, 2006 5:08 PM
Barbara - You are brave to ask for feedback! SInce this is for your business, I'm going to be brave and give you an honest opinion. I want to say first thought that I think you are beautiful - your heart for people really shines through. I think that's the problem with this picture - it doesn't really look like "you." I think it's just the expression on your face. But your hubby was right - some of the best things about you are your compassion and humility and they don't shine through. I do love that color on you, though, and I love that you don't hide your tattoo!
Posted by: Shannon Miller | November 29, 2006 5:28 PM
Well, I like the picture BUT I agree with your husband. Hm. It does make you look kind of "bad-a**". I'm sorry that I can't think of a nicer way to say that right now; I've got 2 kids climbing on my chair back. Personally, I think you do have that kind of "no one's fool" side to your personality, but it's not the main focus of your work and your site. Your other picture, though technically not as well-done and not as flattering to your face and hair, came across as more warm and nurturing and humble. Perhaps could you have the professional reshoot, aiming to make your hair and face look just as nice as in this picture, but with a warmer look? Also, I know you wear your tatoo as a bit of a battle scar, but I think upon first glance it adds to the "cold" look and not a "warm" look. It might be better not to show it in your picture. Your picture is what people see first, and often judge your whole site by before they even read a SINGLE word and find out what the tatoo means to your Christian journey. Just my .02 cents.
You sure have lost a ton of weight, though, and it shows!!!!! :)
Posted by: Jill (colicmommy) | November 29, 2006 5:31 PM
You are beautiful either way, but I agree. The last pic was a softer, gentler you. I know you like this picture as it shows your tat, a sign of what you've grown from. Either way, I won't stop visiting! LOL
Posted by: ~Kayla~ | November 29, 2006 6:03 PM
I agree too. You look gorgeous in this picture, but not very approachable.... I think it's the facial expression. Your smile seemed more genuine and heartfelt in the previous photo. I won't stop visiting either.... the real you shines through in your posts vividly.
Vida
Posted by: Vida | November 29, 2006 6:44 PM
sorry, dear Barbara, but Tripp's right!
Have your son take another pic with Mother Love coming out of your eyes.
Posted by: floorplan | November 29, 2006 6:45 PM
Yup. I agree. You look....well....smug.
Not at all like the lovable person you are!
Posted by: Susan | November 29, 2006 6:56 PM
My first thought on seeing your new picture was "Wow, she looks great!" And you do!
But after reading your dh's comments and taking another look, I have to say I think he's right. The picture just doesn't match the message.
Posted by: Michelle | November 29, 2006 7:00 PM
I agree with your beloved hubby--you are gorgeous no matter what--true beauty! BUT ... I think your earlier/warmer/friendlier photos capture the "real you" much better than this current one.
Posted by: Tara Barthel | November 29, 2006 7:13 PM
While I think your cheekbones look amazing in this picture (and you worked hard for those!) I think your smile is, well, smirky. Purple is a great color on you though. Another facial expression should do the trick. Thanks for wanting to hear from us, you brave woman!
Posted by: Lori F | November 29, 2006 8:20 PM
This photo is not bad, but I do like the former photo of you better. I appreciate your willingness to get input from us readers.
Posted by: Laurie | November 29, 2006 8:21 PM
Oh, thank you Tripp!!! :-) My instant reaction was that this picture REALLY does NOT look like you! You look so fresh and friendly and lovely in your Thanksgiving photo...this pic does not look near as flattering! Your photos from the writers conference also are much more flattering! I was thinking that your "candid" shots seem much more like YOU than the "posed" photos. Can you clip and paste from any of your candids?
Posted by: Tara | November 29, 2006 8:42 PM
I so appreciate your honesty! Don't worry, I have a thick skin after all the rejections I've gotten as a writer.
The weird thing is I didn't like the picture better either, but felt like I had to use it because I had to pay for it. I'd already rejected the first set of photos and really just wanted to pay the photographer for her time and forget the whole thing. But she insisted on trying again. I had a bad feeling about it - like that she didn't really get who I was or what I was about. And she kept stopping after every few shots and having me look at the results on the camera (which I could barely see). I found that very disconcerting and uncomfortable.
I didn't really like the pictures, but having paid for them, I felt obliged to use them. I think what I need to do is write or call her and tell her how unhappy I am with the outcome, explain what I just told you, and offer to pay for her time only.
Then I'll have Tripp take my picture again. :) And that was the weird thing too - the second set of pictures she shot in the same place, with no special lighting.
Oh boy, I hate going to bed knowing I have to deal with something that could be unpleasant tomorrow. You know what I mean?
Posted by: barbara | November 29, 2006 8:52 PM
I'll be the lone dissenter and say that I like the photo. I think you look young and about to break into laughter. And did I mention thin?
Posted by: Mel | November 29, 2006 9:33 PM
OK, I liked the old one better, but I don't think you look bad.
But did you cry when he said that? I would have been devastated.
Posted by: Leslie | November 29, 2006 10:13 PM
OK, Barbara. You already know I love you. And the tattoo is totally fine. I'm not an uptight homeschool mom, IYKWIM. But I'm like, what's that crawling on her hand?! If you keep it, I think you should crop it out.
Posted by: Amy | November 29, 2006 10:15 PM
I think it looks like you're laughing at yourself a little, like "I can't believe they pay me to tell them stuff! Like I know what I'm doing . . ." I see humor in the face, grinning at the formal pose.
Posted by: Gem | November 29, 2006 10:25 PM
This photo might be great for a publicity packet to send to publishers, or to organizers of writing workshops. It definitely has a confident air. But, it doesnt' seem to work so well for this blog.
Posted by: Liz | November 29, 2006 10:35 PM
You are just a gorgeous woman, Barb, but I know and you know that sometimes those old guys we love know what is best. I would go with what Tripp says even if you don't agree. It's great to have a photo that you look so good in but he is the man...so change it. Just make sure he likes it first. Ha. I love you and may HE bless all your days this Christmas season.
Where was Jasmine for Thanksgiving?
Posted by: Robin Strom | November 29, 2006 10:43 PM
Oh, I hate to jump on the bandwagon, but I LOVED your last picture and when I came onto your site yesterday, I had to take a double-take at it because it just didnt' look like you! I also want to emphasize how beautiful you are, just not the same way in this picture. ((hugs))...if you want one! ;-) ~B
Posted by: B | November 29, 2006 11:09 PM
I like to see teeth in pictures. I think it looks friendlier.
You do look great in that color though.
Posted by: paigeu | November 29, 2006 11:12 PM
I think you look marvelous, but I am with Tripp, the photo changes your image, it isn't the soft you that was reflected perfectly in the last photo.
I wouldn't have the re-take done with the same photographer, it seems as if you were a bit uncomfortable, as if you were posed. I think the lighting is off a bit too. No offense to the photographer who probably tried his or her best.
But those cheekbone--wowzer, remarkable!!!
Posted by: Rebecca P. | November 29, 2006 11:15 PM
Well, I have to agree with your hubby on this one as well. I appreciate your willingness to get feedback. That's pretty brave :) You do look great AND THIN and really inspire me to continue on my weight loss journey and purple is a good color for you. I just miss that "look" in your eye that was in the other picture. It was a comforting look and an understanding one. This one seems to look a little "sassy" to me. Not sure if that's the right word, but it surprised me when I saw it.
Hope things work out tomorrow with the photographer. I'll be praying for you. Just let her know you don't like the pictures. You're the customer and the customer is always right :)
Posted by: Angie | November 29, 2006 11:49 PM
yes, pick one where your eyes twinkle....
Mary, mom to many
Posted by: owlhaven | November 30, 2006 3:22 AM
I liked your expression on the picture taken by your son. Why don't you ask him to take another for you. Professional photo are nice but I think you could do better. How lovely that your husband can be so honest. Give him a big hug for caring enough to want the best and not just "good enough" for you.
Posted by: JaneD | November 30, 2006 6:05 AM
It's a nice picture, but I agree with most of what your husband says. It doesn't look warm and fuzzy. For my clients I design a storybook of three pictures so that they have a series of images that reflect the variances of their personality. You might try that if you want to show the varying shades of Barbara Curtic...
But you're beautiful and we all know it!!
Suzanne
www.picturethisbysuzanne.photoreflect.com
Posted by: suzanne | November 30, 2006 7:10 AM
I think it's a beautiful glamour portrait and I think it would be great for a column or book jacket. For "Mommylife" though I think you need something more mommylike! Maybe with holding one of your kids or something.
Posted by: Elena | November 30, 2006 7:24 AM
You look so thin!! What an amazing difference in less than a year. *thumbs up* And your hair looks lovely. Unfortunately, you just aren't smiling with your eyes and you need to show a bit of teeth. It is actually a good photo and you do look pretty, but it is taken by someone who doesn't know what you "really" look like when you show your heart.
Posted by: Carol | November 30, 2006 7:57 AM
I love the fact it shows how much weight you have lost. I don't think it does show your "soft" features.
Posted by: Laurel Wreath | November 30, 2006 8:33 AM
Hi Barbara,
I think the picture looks fine - it is very professional, and looks like marketing got a hold of it, if you know what I mean. So, if you are making a push to brand yourself with the idea of offering stock options in the future, go for it.
It does not look "mom-ish", casual, or friendly. I guess it depends on your audience an purpose.
I liked the old one better for your blog. It didn't look so commercial and cold.
Posted by: Milehimama | November 30, 2006 8:48 AM
I think it's the crossed arms and the snarky expression that made him say that. But look at how slim you are!!!! Wow!!
Posted by: Kim | November 30, 2006 9:06 AM
I guess I don't even have to put in my two cents because it looks like you already know but I agree with Tripp too. I also LOVE the way you two can be open and honest with one another.
I was just in Chantilly yesterday for lunch with my sister. As I was driving I thought, "Barbara lives around here somewhere. Too bad I can't call"
Posted by: janet | November 30, 2006 9:12 AM
Hi Barbara!
You do look great, but I have to agree with Trip about this picture. I wonder if the arms crossed over your chest are a part of the "hard" body language.
I pray you are met with grace when you contact the photographer. Getting a great picture that really captures the person is challenging.
I can't wait to see the next attempt! =)
Blessings,
Brenda on the S OR Coast
Posted by: Brenda on the S OR Coast | November 30, 2006 9:30 AM
I agree with the commenter above who said it's a beautiful picture, just not what you're trying to convey. Maybe it's the arms crossed?
But, wow, Barbara, you look gorgeous!
Posted by: Shannon @ Rocks in my Dryer | November 30, 2006 10:38 AM
I agree with your hubby, too. Something about the eye makeup and the dark top that just doesn't jibe with the rest of your header on the blog, and what this blog is about. Love you, though,
V
Posted by: Valerie | November 30, 2006 11:26 AM
I'm with Tripp. It's a beautiful photo, but it the arms folded in that manner don't convey a very approachable image if that's what you're hoping for. It looks like something you'd see on a lawyer or real estate card. I'm tough and I' m on your side. Having read a few of your books and your blog for a while, I know you have that side to you. But that's not your only side. You also have a very soft and warm side that nutures and cares. I'd look for a photo that combines both.
And Tripp knows your personality better than anyone else, if he doesn't think it conveys the real you, I'd find another one for that reason alone.
Posted by: Spunky | November 30, 2006 11:46 AM
I agree about the crossed arms...it gives you a sort of "you can't touch me" appearance. You look really nice in the picture, just not like the down-to-earth sort of person I imagine you to be from reading your blog and book.
Posted by: Cathy | November 30, 2006 12:14 PM
snarky...that's the word that comes to mind. Smug.
I liked your other picture better...
Just being honest.
Posted by: Linda | November 30, 2006 12:33 PM
Just look at the volume of comments listed here. . . we STILL LOVE to give our opinion when we are asked!
I think you look like a mega-survivor-mother-of-twelve-who-lived-to-write-about-it!!
Posted by: Becky | November 30, 2006 1:16 PM
Hi Barbara,
I think the photo looked good (you can tell a pro took it) but I think the problem is the smile (you look like you are smirking in an Ann Coulter fashion). The tatoo is ok but it looks muddy because you can't see the detail. I would have the other hand forward. On another note, we have been using an advent wreath for nearly 20 years and your suggetions are excellent.
Blessings,
Heidi
Posted by: Heidi Curnutt | November 30, 2006 1:52 PM
Dear Barbara,
What a wonderful husband you have! I was deeply touched by his love through honesty, and the kind of wife you are to "allow" that from him. That is a good man. I hope that my heart/personality will "allow" my husband to be so beautifuly honest with me. I think I have something to work on!! This is a true testamant to a godly marriage. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Posted by: Greta | November 30, 2006 2:18 PM
Mrs. Curtis,
I agree with your husband. When I saw the new picture I thought it made you look like you were full of yourself. The person who mentioned Ann Coulter was right on. That is NOT you! At first I thought I felt this way because the old you had all the cute "grandma" cheeks and you looked like the neighbor lady who gives the best advice. This picture seems like the lady who is well known at church for doing it all and thinking she is all that in the process. A different pose I think would do it. The new you is beautiful and I wouldn't wish you to having grandma cheeks again. I think it all has to do with the angle of the picture and your face. Even dh said that he couldn't believe it was you (I didn't ask, he was just looking over my shoulder) but he said that it looked like a hard biker chick!
If you keep the photo I would understand but a new one might share more of the real you!
Posted by: Mrs. | November 30, 2006 2:19 PM
I am so glad you asked. When I saw the new picture the other day, I was not impressed. Your hubby is right on! And I am going to vote NO on showing the tattoo, it just doesn't give the correct image of you. Thanks for all you do.Q
Posted by: carolyn | November 30, 2006 2:31 PM
