December 6, 2006 4:01 PM
A man worth reading
I guess there are a few men who read MommyLife. I'm honored, really.
Since Dean mentioned he and his wife had had their first baby less than two weeks ago, I visited his blog Inspired by a True Story for the first time in a while (I really don't get out in BlogLand that much :) and found some amazing stuff.
First was the account of his daughter's not-so-perfect first days, in which a couple of brand new parents had to deal with an unanticipated problem involving advice from the medical establishment. His tale of how they took an alternative route and his conclusion really tugged at my heartstrings:
This is the first part of parenting that has taken me by surprise. The day before my daughter was born, my biggest decision was how much sugar to put in the cranberry relish. The next day I was making medical decisions for another person that could have lifelong consequences.For that responsibility, nothing had prepared me.
Looking back over 37 years of parenting - 18 without knowing God and 19 with him in charge of my life - I can say beyond a doubt that parenting on your own is a random and scary process compared to feeling like you're not alone. Looking back I can see God's hand guiding me through many events in my children's lives. As we made decisions about education, as we dealt with medical issues (Jonny's six or seven hospitalizations and several major surgeries the first 15 months of his life), as we faced the reality of a prodigal leaving - through the good times and bad with our kids I have felt like God has guided us in a way that makes me know how much he loves us all.
Dean, you are blessed to be discovering how dependent you are so early!
I also found some other surprises at Dean's blog - and immediately sent the link to my husband. You might want to too, because this is a blog with much food for thought for men - and I'm not talking about quibbling about esoteric theological points, but actual practical and interesting insights into the male condition.
Right now he's doing a series on the noble masculine traits as exemplified in The Andy Griffith Show. In the latest entry, comparing Andy to Ross Geller of Friends, Dean writes:
Television narratives both reflect and shape the realities present in the wider culture. Andy Taylor is presented as a model of manhood once taken to be ideal in American culture. To see how things have changed we need only look at the archetypal televisual male character of recent years, Ross Geller, the self-obsessed, insecure paleontologist of Friends.The two characters have a few similarities. They're about the same age. Both have young sons, though Geller's rarely has much of a role in his father's life. Both are single or, in Geller's case, mostly single.
But, while Andy is a widower, Geller is twice divorced.
Geller is emblematic of the millions of infant-men contemporary society has given rise to. Adrift and selfish, incapable of stable relationships and commitment to anything but the gratification of their immediate needs, these guys are everywhere, trying to make their way in the world more by charm than by character, more by wit than by grit.
The cultural revolutions in America since the '60's all promised to liberate men from the shackles of tradition, to allow them to cast off the morality of the past and to be truly free and fully developed persons. Instead, the casting away of traditional moral restraint has led to generations of men who must pursue sex with a stream of women to bolster their flagging senses of self worth, who consistently fall prey to the rampant materialism of our culture, who shut down and shut out others through whatever means available from video games to narcotics.
What made Andy Taylor a man was that he had what it takes to love others in a way that led to life. The Geller character, on the other hand, remains dependent on others to nurture him. He looks to them for the inner resources he lacks and hopes they will rescue him from his weakness. As such, Geller is a symbol of the contemporary man: so damaged by our cultural changes, he is bankrupt inside, unable to grow up, unable to bring his strength to the service of others.
As someone whose cultural opinions were shaped by the counterculture - at the time it was running I would have considered The Andy Griffith Show the epitome of lowbrow entertainment - I truly enjoyed Dean's insights.
I'll bet your husbands - or any men reading this blog - would too.
But his insights are helpful for women too - as in I See Paris, I See France, where he clues us in on the inner workings of the male psyche and the female body - food for thought for any mother of boys.
This is an intelligent, accessible, whimsical blog - the choice of illustrations really sets the tone - and I'm definitely going to be visiting more often, if only for wit like this:
Here's one weird thing about having a kid. You go to the hospital, this massive building, this imposing institution. You stay there a while and, at the end, they give you, just flat-out give you, a person.It's like some strange hotel where before you check out someone comes to your room and says "Thank you for choosing XYZ Community Hospital. As a token of our gratitude, please accept this complimentary infant. We appreciate your business."
Be sure to visit and tell Dean congratulations on his new baby - and doesn't the name Daisy just make you smile?
Posted in Blogging | Permalink
Comments
Barbara,
Thanks so much for your kind words and the traffic. Both are appreciated.
Posted by: Dean | December 6, 2006 6:42 PM
