January 4, 2007 3:08 PM
Adoption and Down syndrome - a special story
Just received this. There's a wonderful resource for parents looking for a baby with Down syndrome:
Dear Barbara,I was doing a search on Adoption and Down syndrome and came across your blog. I have enjoyed reading some of your entries, and feel compelled to write to you.
I am 43 years old. I work part time as an RN in Labor and Delivery. We have 4 children. My two boys from a previous marriage, 23 and 20. Our daughter Meghann, who is 7. And our blessed son Tommy, who passed away two years ago. He was two weeks shy of his first birthday. Tommy did not survive his open heart surgery to repair his congenital heart defect. Our lives were changed forever. Not a moment goes by, that I still do not think of my sweet Tommy. My arms still ache to hold him, and my body craves to touch and smell his sweet baby smell. Tommy had trisomy 21. He was an angel from heaven and I felt my life was complete, when he came into our lives.
I feel like whenever I am involved in the Down syndrome community, I am close to Tommy still. I can't be with him physically, but I can still "do" something for him, by helping those who also have trisomy 21. You know, how us mothers always want to help and do for our children, no matter how old or where they are in life. (Or death I guess).
My husband and I lost two pregnancies after we lost Tommy. It was during one of those pregnancies, that Tom, my husband said, "what if this baby "doesn't" have Down syndrome, will you be disappointed?" After discussing that further, we started looking into adopting a child with Down syndrome. I was actively researching that, until a social worker asked me to "think about Meghann and what this adoption might do to her." I believe her inference was that another loss would send Meghann over the edge.
So we just put it on the back burner and we prayed about it.
After a year, the yearning grew stronger. And we saw a picture of Sergey. He has the same spirit in his eyes, that Tommy had. We prayed about it, talked to our children, and after receiving their blessing, we began our home study in November.
It is still a leap of faith. What if this doesn't happen. There are a few what if's. That is when we just have to trust God.
What is the greater risk? Losing another child? Or not knowing the child we were suppose to know? Knowing Tommy has changed us in such a positive way, words can not describe it.
Have you heard of Reeces Rainbow? It is from her website, that we learned of Sergey. She is been a wonderful support in this whole process.
Thanks for making your blog available, and I look forward to reading more.........
Deb
Tommy's website: Caring Bridge
Please remember never to be discouraged in something God is nudging you to do when other people tell you what makes sense to them. God does not follow our logic. And we are happiest when we follow his.
Blessings to you and your family on this journey, Deb!
Posted in Adoption, Down syndrome | Permalink
Comments
Thank you so much, Barbara, for posting the link to Tommy's website.
Big Hugs!!
Posted by: Deb Dougherty | January 4, 2007 5:25 PM
Hi Barabara, on a side note I wanted to tell you that I am the blogger formally known as Adrienne, who blogged at Journeying...by grace alone. I saw that you have both of my blogs listed in your blogroll, and maybe you didn't know I am one in the same. I have moved to Random Contmeplations and go by my first name now, Yvonne.
More on topic, I appreciate your words
"Please remember never to be discouraged in something God is nudging you to do when other people tell you what makes sense to them. God does not follow our logic. And we are happiest when we follow his."
God used your words today to soothe my heart. We are in the process of adopting another child from foster care right now, and while some are very encouraging, others think we are downright crazy! I do understand their position and sometimes I even may agree with them, ha,ha! We have been chosen for a girl who turned two in September and our little boy will be three the 20th of this month and he has severe disabilities. It seems crazy, but it also seems so right. The Lord gives me reassurances everywhere!
Posted by: Yvonne | January 4, 2007 10:43 PM
