January 3, 2007 7:58 PM
Adoption - too much a blessing to postpone
Some time ago, Shannon who blogs at Idylwild commented on one of my posts on adoption:
I also have a quick question for you about adoption. Dh and I have always intended to adopt at some point. We have three small (under 5) children now and of course my heart just breaks to think about a little one needing a home. But dh and I are discussing whether or not we should adopt when we are (I pray) still in the midst of birthing babies. Do you think it's better to wait until born children are older before adopting?
I promised to get back with an answer, but had to wait because the best person to answer that question was not me, as we had adopted our three guys with Down syndrome following our ninth and last birth child.
I have a dear friend with 10 who has a couple of adopted children right in the middle and I knew she would be the perfect person to ask. We just had to wait a little while for the answer because their family is in an unusual state of transition as you will see from this answer I just received to pass on to you:
My dear friend Barbara asked me to answer this for you and I've been remiss in taking so long to do it. For that I am sorry.Here's a bit of a background for you. My dh and I have been married for 22 years. He's a pastor in Virginia (the Curtis' pastor). We are moving this spring or summer to be missionaries to Bolivia where my dh will train and mentor national pastors. We have 10 kiddos ranging in age from 2 to 18. The six oldest are boys and the 4 little ones are girls. We have adopted two of them (both boys ages 8 and 10).
We, like you, had always thought about adopting, but weren't sure of the timing of it or any details. Then one day we started talking seriously about it and studying what the Bible taught about children, orphans and adoption. We believed the Lord was leading us to adopt then even though we were planning on having more children. In fact I was pregnant at the time we decided to pursue the first adoption. When we started checking out adoption we had four boys ages 7 and below, but we came to the conclusion by studying the Scripture that it was our privilege and honor to adopt those who needed a family.
We also see that there is a certain level of responsibility revealed in the Bible about caring for widows and orphans. We wanted to help meet that need by actually providing a family for some who didn't have one. We honestly felt like it was one on the most spiritual things we'd ever done. (James 1:27) Children are a blessing. This is a clear teaching in the Bible. They are added to families in different ways, some by birth, some by adoption. I'm sure when you discovered you were pregnant with your 2nd and 3rd children you were thrilled even though you already had children and may have felt a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of more children. The same is true when you adopt.
Children are a blessing. No matter how or when they enter the family. I think you just have to seek the Lord and trust Him. Follow His leadership. He won't lead you wrong. I will pray that He will make it clear to you through His Word and His Spirit if/when you are to adopt. We have absolutely NO REGRETS about any of our children no matter how or when they were added to our family. It hasn't all been easy but I can't imagine my life without ANY single one of them. We are all richer for every child that is added to our family. It changes us all and multiplies our love. We are all more blessed with each addition.
We still hope to have more and adopt more. I learned so much about our Heavenly Father and His adoption of us into His family though the processes of our adoptions. It's so much more real and meaningful to me know. I know more what it means when the Bible says we are adopted in Him and chosen by Him. He is our example for adoption. He had One Son and He adopted several more. :>) I guess you can tell from my response I don't think it's beter to wait until one is finished having children to adopt. If we would've done that we would've missed out on the blessing of Joshua and David (our two adopted sons) just like if we hadn't allowed God to lead in the addition of birth children, we would've missed out on them too. I'm so grateful that He led us the way that He did. I hope this helps a little. I'd be happy to talk with you further if you'd like.
Here is a picture of Denise and Joe with their kids:
They are an unusually faith-driven family and everything about their lives tells the story of obedience to the Lord. I mean, what are the odds of a family with 10 children being called to become missionaries in Bolivia? And what are the odds that if they were called they would obey?
A pretty extraordinary family - you can read about their adventures at The Holman Family
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Comments
Barbara and Denise - Thank you both so much for taking the time to answer this question for me! It means so much to me to have the wisdom of women who have walked this road to draw from. I waiver between wanting to adopt a baby right this second and wondering how I'm doing with the three I have:) This is something that hubby and I need to really pray about and then I think we may be getting ready to jump in! Afterall, when I only had two I couldn't figure out how I'd handle three, but with God's help thats just what I do:)
Thanks again, ladies. This is just the boost I've needed to really talk to hubby about this:)
Posted by: Shannon Miller | January 3, 2007 11:00 PM
Hi, we are also in the throes of adoption / bio children. We currently have two children, almost 2 and 5, and are in the process of adopting a sibling group of 5 from the foster care system. Our adopted children will be older than our bio children, and we plan to have more bios and possibly adopt again as well (although currently while in the middle of the process I would much rather be pg then go though another homestudy process) Not a lot of people will encourage you to do this, most will discourage you for that matter, you need to know though, be sure, commited that this is the plan God has for you. If so it will all work out, doors will open and you will juat have to conintue to walk though them. At least that is how it is happening to us.
Blessings as you make this decision and encouragment to others out there that think such a thing "just can't be done", because it can.
Amie :)
Posted by: Amie | January 4, 2007 6:37 AM
