February 22, 2007 10:45 AM
What about Preschool?
I have a question regarding homeschooling. My oldest (4yrs) is to start PreK this August and the closer it gets, the more I am just so unsure on what to do. I have read several of your books (I think all of them except the Dirty Dancing one :-)) We have played the sound game several times and we have done lots of the activities that you suggested in your books. I have a 2 yr old with dyspraxia (a speech delay), she was just released from speech therapy but I have to continue the exercises at home, so we do "schoolwork"(speech exercises & Montessori activities) 2 -3x's per wk.
I am considering homeschool for prek, but I have no idea where to start. I am really clueless on what to do, how to do it, etc... The list goes on & on.
Do you have any advice on where to start or how to start? I have read LOTS on the web, I know I can teach them, but I have never been a teacher and don't know how to begin or what to begin with....or how to keep up with what we do.....Oh and teaching him to read seems HUGE to me... very difficult. What are your thoughts & or the other homeschooling moms that read your site?
You are such an inspiration to me!!
Thank youLinsey
My Chaotic Day
Dear Linsey -
I have so much to say on this subject I could write a book! In fact, I have written two: Mommy, Teach Me! and Mommy, Teach Me to Read!. They will be out just in time for you - next June.
If you are feeling the slightest hesitancy about sending your son to preschool, I recommend that you follow that inclination and keep him home. One of the reasons children love preschool is because they are in an environment which meets their developmental needs and an adult who has been trained (hopefully) and is paid to make the connection.
As a Montessori teacher, I knew the wonderful feeling of being surrounded by kids who adored me. Their mothers would tell me that, too, which felt awkward because a child's love for his mother shouldn't be divided that early. Later, as a mother myself - and able to implement my Montessori training into my daily life with my own children - I realized that that devotion to an early teacher was only because I had a better understanding of children and for five hours a day was completely devoted to them.
Here is a little snippet from Mommy, Teach Me! that will give you an idea where I am going with these books:
[following a discussion of why moms feel pressured to send kids to preschool]
Maybe preschool is the way to go, after all.Still, the idea of sending your little one off to school just doesn’t sit well with you. The nagging idea that your child’s potential is not being met is one thing – and the free time is tempting. But somehow you feel like you’re just getting started with this motherhood thing. Even on the worst days, you can’t imagine the two of you separated quite so soon.
And that’s because you shouldn’t be.
As with so much of the wisdom you’ll develop as a mother, it’s as though the answers to the critical questions are already inside you. The doubt you feel about separating your child from home at such a tender age is based on common sense and your experience so far as a mother. Both of these are more important than any “prevailing wisdom” or cultural trends, no matter how much logic supports it.
As a mother, you are on a journey where your responsibility will always be carefully considering the way that lies before your child. That process began for me 36 years ago, and with six children still at home it continues to this day.
While confidence in yourself as a mother and ability to resist pressure – from family, friends and society – does not come overnight, there is one thing every mom needs to know from the get-go. God did not make us from cookie cutters. One mother’s path may look very different from another’s.
But the bottom line is this: God has a plan for your child’s life. And assuming that he needs someone to help implement that plan, it only makes sense that the people trusted to do that would be the parents. Not the grandmothers, neighbors, best friends, or public school system.
So when you find yourself at a place where the crowd seems to be going in a direction you’re somehow reluctant to follow – from the preschool question all the way through college – make sure to listen for the still, small voice. As mother to 12, I’ve found that the right path is the one that whispers even when the rest of the world is shouting about another.
Which may explain why you’re somehow sensing that it might not be the best idea to send your little one off to school just yet – as though somehow there was something special yet to discover and as though it’s just around the bend.
Oh, but there is something special ahead – the most important days and weeks and years of your relationship with your child.For when it comes to character formation and instilling a love of learning, the preschool years are the richest by far. God created each of us this way, with potentials for emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth – windows of opportunity widest open in the early years.
The secret of why children fall in love with their teachers – and I know because before I had 12 children of my own I trained and worked as a teacher – is simply this: good teachers understand what makes kids tick, anticipate their developmental needs and know how to meet them. In preparing for their work with children, they’ve also undergone some personal reconstruction to become better equipped to teach.
What I hope to do with the two MTM books - which will also have a website to support and serve as a resource - is to empower moms to make the most of these early years and to equip their children to grow into lifelong learners who maintain their natural curiosity about the world God has given us and who want to learn and grow. No matter whether you plan to send your children to public school, private school, or continue homeschooling, you can be of great influence in your child’s future by improving your understanding of him and providing for his developmental needs.
Empowering is the key word here. Mothers and fathers have been the source of wisdom for their kids forever, yet in our culture they are marginalized. We are taught that only professionals can teach – a trend that has gotten so alarming that several states are even considering mandatory preschool.
I’m hoping – through sharing everything I gleaned from my Montessori education, ten years of homeschooling, and raising 12 children – to equip and empower mothers to take back the place that is rightfully theirs.
Teaching reading is just not that difficult. But a lot of groundwork is laid in advance – groundwork that most people wouldn’t be familiar with because they’ve not studied early childhood development. What I’ve done with these books is taken my education and training – filtered through my application of it in my daily life with my own children – and presented it for moms in an encouraging, unintimidating, reader-friendly format.
Can you tell I’m excited about these books? I wish they were here now! But only four more months.
Btw, Dr. and Martha Sears have endorsed the books – what a blessing!
Posted in Montessori, Mothering, Preschoolers, Toddlers | Permalink
Comments
Wise advice. We just went through so much needless trauma by sending our daughter to preschool before she was ready. Every child is different and parents need to follow their heart and realize that they know best what is right for their child at a given time.
Posted by: elena maria vidal | February 22, 2007 10:11 AM
Ack! I wish you would have posted this yesterday! Before I took my son to the 4 yr old screening at the local public preschool!
I wasn't sure yesterday if I should or shouldn't enroll him. We're homeschooling our daughter (Kindergarten) but she attended this preschool. Now it's our son's turn.
But I have that little voice you're talking about... and I wasn't sure if it was one I should listen to, or if it was me just being overprotective.
Thank you! Thank you very much! Sign me up for both books!
(I don't know if you remember me, but we are possibly adopting a baby girl with Down Syndrome. She is due at the end of April, so we are playing the waiting game. Last we heard, her birthparents were considering parenting. So it's a long-shot. But knowing God, we're going to try to be prepared anyway) :o)
Posted by: Amy Lu | February 22, 2007 10:32 AM
And what if I feel that way about kindergarten? Should I then hs for that? I mean, preschool, I get, it's a non essential, but in our state kindergarten is required to enter first grade and if you hs kindergarten, you have to hs first grade because they can only enter second grade.
I am torn about this. I want to hs because 6 hours a day every day seems like so much! And yet, she is the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter and we struggle with each other so much that I am afraid we could use a break.
She also really enjoys her friends at Mom's Day Out that she attends once a week.
Do you think if someone feels hesitant about kindergarten, that they should take that as an indication that they should keep child home, or just a natural "not wanting to let go " feeling from a first time, possibly over identified mom?
Posted by: Marsha | February 22, 2007 11:34 AM
Amy - Thanks for the confirmation that God is using these cyberconnections to help us inspire and encourage one another!
Marsha - Personally, I believe that homeschooling through at least grade 3 will give your child incomparable benefits over going to school. Your relationship witll have time to grow and flourish and even if your child goes off to school after that, you will always be her most trusted teacher. I am firmly convinced of this. Any mother can do a better job teaching their child to read than school because you are not one teacher in a classroom of 20. Also, public school is not set up to meet the developmental needs of the child like a Montessori school - or a home set up with the right prinicples. K-3 is really brutal for boys as public schools simply do not take their need for physical activity and competition into account.
As far as your relationship with your daughter - it will actually only get worse when she goes to school and her peer group becomes more important to her than you are. Only conflict ahead there.
I'm not a homeschooling fanatic, just a mother who has seen experience in all areas - public school, homeschool, private school. One thing new mothers don't realize is that having kids in public school is a LOT of work. Your kids are gone 6 hours and come home with homework (even Kindergarten now) and papers for you to fill out. There is so little time with them - especially if they have after-school activities. And if you've brought your kids up to help around the house, they really have little time to do it.
The big secret about homeschooling is that the curriculum in the early years only takes 2-3 hours a day, leaving you free to have fun working and playing together.
But the main thing is the relationship - your bond witll be stronger if you teach your young child.
Marsha - if you have it in you, I would definitely suggest committing to hs kindergarten and first grade - then making a decision at 2nd grade. I've always gone year by year, child by child.
Posted by: barbara | February 22, 2007 11:54 AM
Wow! You are great!! I live in a small town and my husband is on staff at a Baptist Church where there is a preschool. I guess you could say it is quite popular. There are waiting lists for quite some time and everybody who is somebody gets their kid in there starting at 1 years old because it is so important for our kids to develop "social" skills and for mommy to get some "alone" time. This is what they say. My husband and I have decided not to send our kids. (28 months and 10 months) Although I feel very strongly about my decision, we sort of stand alone. So, it is encouraging to read your post. And I too, look forward to your books!
Posted by: Mindy | February 22, 2007 1:47 PM
Still, the idea of sending your little one off to school just doesn’t sit well with you. The nagging idea that your child’s potential is not being met is one thing – and the free time is tempting. But somehow you feel like you’re just getting started with this motherhood thing. Even on the worst days, you can’t imagine the two of you separated quite so soon.
WOW, as I read that 1st paragraph, tears were rolling down my face. That is totally how I am feeling right now. I keep wrestling with that voice...telling myself it is just me not wanting to let go. I think I may just listen to that small voice...I always listen to that voice on every other decision regarding my kids so why would I not listen to it now!
Thank You so much Barbara!! I'm so glad I found your blog! Thank you Thank you!
Posted by: Linsey | February 22, 2007 3:11 PM
I did not send my first child to preschool. My second is in it right now and we're considering whether to do it next year or not. My problem is that I don't think I'm up to doing the things that you describe in your books (I've read The Mommy Manual and Small Beginnings). I have great intentions and want to do all that, but my reality is that I have a toddler and health issues that leave me with barely enough energy to survive every day. Preschool has been great for my daughter because I do think she needed a break from me and our home life. And she's learned tons of songs and Bible things (she's in a Christian preschool. I wouldn't do a public one). But now she claims she doesn't like it, so I don't know what we'll do next year.
I wish I could homeschool! You're so right about school being a lot of work. My oldest is in half-day kindergarten and between driving him there and back (it's a charter school with no bussing) and then the homework he has (which isn't really that much, but it all requires parental involvement) we devote a lot of time to school. We had planned to homeschool, but again, my health just would not allow it and he was so ready to learn. He desperately wanted to be able to read and do math. But he doesn't really love school even though he loves learning. I'm hoping that next year is better for him. We switched him from a Christian school to a charter school because we believed the education would be better, plus, we just couldn't afford private school for three kids. We still wonder if it was the right thing to do.
I really do believe that homeschooling is right for every child, but not for every parent. I was homeschooled myself, so I do know firsthand its benefits, as well as the sacrifices that are made to do it.
Posted by: Lucy | February 22, 2007 3:40 PM
OH Barbara! I just love your insights! I resisted the urge to send my oldest ( strong willed) child to preschool, and now we are homeschooling kindergarten. :) It is going VERY well.......The hardest part is the constant " togetherness", especially when he is naughty......But I have grandparents, and a wonderful husband who give me breaks. I'm looking forward to the day when my VERY bright son can homeschool himself- he reads so well already...... I think he'll be homeschooling himself within a few years, and possibly helping his brothers......My tentative goal is to make it to 2nd grade at least, but if he can teach himself ( for the most part) at that point, we might just keep going!
HUGS to all the moms out there..... Keep yourself in prayer.....I know how hard it is to go against the crowd......
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | February 22, 2007 10:05 PM
So when you find yourself at a place where the crowd seems to be going in a direction you’re somehow reluctant to follow – from the preschool question all the way through college – make sure to listen for the still, small voice. As mother to 12, I’ve found that the right path is the one that whispers even when the rest of the world is shouting about another.
SIGH.......I so NEEDED this today...... It's been such a ROUGH week, and I feel like some extended family member's are attacking my parenting style..
Thanks Barbara!
Posted by: Lisa | February 22, 2007 10:11 PM
Try Five in a Row and Before Five in a Row by Jane Clare Lambert. They're wonderful! And relax and enjoy your 4 year old. :)
www.fiarhq.com
Posted by: Carole | February 23, 2007 8:57 AM
Lisa, for getting a child to a place where he can "homeschool himself," I recommend ACE / School of Tomorrow. I'm afraid that I am just not a patient parent or teacher at all, but my husband and I are VERY committed to homeschooling. When I was trying to put my curriculum together myself, and failing, I was often reduced to tears over the thought that I might have to send my kids to school. Last summer my husband suggested we try ACE (which he used in private school as a child), and it's been wonderful! I have two 2nd graders, and while I have to be available for them to read aloud to me, to check their work, to help them when they are confused, and to do special projects, they really do learn independently. (Kindergarten has more teacher involvement, obviously.)
Sorry, Barbara, it's not really a very Montessori curriculum. I hope you don't mind me recommending it. ACE has just been such a God-send for our family, literally.
Posted by: Michelle | February 23, 2007 2:52 PM
They sound like just what I need! I caved in to pressure and sent my 3 year old with Down Syndrome to school last year, one with the shortest day I could find (2 1/2 hours)however, that nagging feeling never left me, although it wasn't an entirely unpleasant experience. I just felt, as you said, that I'd rather teach her myself. The issue however, with a special needs child, is that no matter how many years I've homeschooled and taught as a professional teacher, I don't have speech therapy training, Physical therapy training, etc. This can intimidate me.
This year, however, I found my self-confidence, and began a co-operative, Montessouri based preschool twice weekly with homeschooling friends, and it's working out beautifully.
BTW the specialists can come to your home in NY state, throughout the school years, just as they did in Early Intervention, taking the pressure off being knowlegeable in all these areas as well.
I can't wait for your book, Barbara! Dr.and Martha Sears have helped me raise my girls.
Posted by: Leticia Velasquez | February 25, 2007 7:07 AM
