February 16, 2007 10:30 PM
Reader Q & A - Talkative preschooler
Also, how do you get/teach a VERY, VERY verbal almost-4 yr. old to stop talking for awhile? Sometimes my husband and/or I just need a piece of quiet, and he just won't stop talking!!!
Here's my two cents - but feel free to add your own if you have experience with this too:
Just keep reminding yourself that like everything else, this stage will pass. One day you will just suddenly remember the days when your child was talking so much and you will wonder when it changed.When you start to feel impatient, just thank God that he is verbal and wants to talk to you!!!! What if he had a disability? And what if when he grows up he doesn't want to talk to you?
Don't try to change him, change your attitude.
In the meantime, you might also institute a "quiet time" of 30 minutes a day where you both do something you like alone without talking. Set a timer so he will know when it's up. You can gradually increase the time.
Posted in Preschoolers, Toddlers | Permalink
Comments
I have decided that they are physically incapable of being quiet. I sometimes wear sound-proof headphones if I want to read in silence while my husband is watching the kids (our house echoes noise, there is no quiet spot except when everyone else is asleep.) Even when our daughter is playing alone, she talks out loud (she's almost 5.)
Some of my friends have a quiet time during their younger children's naps where their older children stay in their rooms and play as quietly as they possibly can.
Posted by: Elizabeth B | February 16, 2007 11:24 PM
so very true!
i have nothing to add, barbara.
time has taught me to inhale deeply even the moments that wear me out because too quickly comes the moment where i miss them.
Posted by: laura | February 17, 2007 12:15 PM
My first child, now 8, is very verbal, too. I always loved quiet times so it was stressful for me to have a child who talked non-stop. I remember offering him a quarter to be quiet for 10 minutes. He didn't talk to me using his own voice but his stuffed camel talked for the whole 10 minutes. I gave up and changed my attitude. I realized God gave me this child for a reason and He used my son's talking to change me. I always needed my "alone" time but I don't even remember (or miss) those days now. He still is talkative but he's not quite as overwhelming now. I now thank God that I have a child who wants to talk to me and has so many great things to say!
Posted by: Chris S | February 17, 2007 12:44 PM
Your response made me smile Barbara. My late mother in law was a deeply and instinctively maternal woman. I well remember how anxious I would get when we visited and my little toddler would be clambering up the sofa and pulling things off her shelves.
In response to my frustrated chiding of him she said "Arra, leave the child alone, sure wouldn't it be worse if the poor crathur didn't have the use of his arms and legs?"
It made me laugh out loud at the time. It seemed a ridiculous thing to say.
I couldn't quite understand how she could be so relaxed, didn't she mind having her knick-knacks all messed up? Well, I don't think she did mind awfully, but I think she had a wisdom and perspective on children that told her that this was just a season and she was able to take delight in it rather than grinding her teeth.
Chatterbox four year olds can be exhausting, but I usually feel much better when I am able to say "Pah, to peace and quiet, this is the season I am in and I am going to choose to love it, it will be gone before I know it and I don't want to look back and find that I missed it"
I think its useful though, at four, to introduce him to the notion of waiting till someone has finished speaking, and not interrupting. With small children, if I know that they are popping to say something but I won't let them interrupt, I hold on to their arm with a little squeeze until its their turn to talk. This seems to have the effect of letting them know that they haven't been overlooked, and that their turn is coming.
On the whole though, some things are better accepted than altered, and four year old chatter is, I think, one of them.
Posted by: Clare | February 17, 2007 7:52 PM
Your talkative little boy will probably make a wonderful husband to a lucky lady someday! I'm sure my mother-in-law must have wanted to duct-tape her oldest son's mouth shut most days when he was little. But now he is the most verbal man I've ever known. He's a fabulous communicator, and I never get the "silent husband" act when he comes from work. He loves talking to me and I'm very thankful for that!
Posted by: Becky Miller | February 17, 2007 11:20 PM
