March 11, 2007 8:44 AM
Apron Talk! Part 2
Vida commented:
Something in that post kind of struck me as odd. What's wrong with aprons being a symbol of servitude, at least for those of us who are honored and happy to serve our families? You write often of letting go of the "have it your way" attitude of today's society. I'm proud to serve my husband and children, and through them, the Lord. And I've found out how rewarding a life of servitude really is mostly because of reading your books and your blog urging mothers to recognize that we honor the Lord in all the work we do, no matter how mundane. I hope I haven't offended you by this, I just wanted to share my perspective.
Vida -
Hugs, my dear friend! You're right of course - and thanks for pointing that out. I guess I was thinking of servitude like slavery, where it was imposedon those not willing - which is how 70's feminists painted being a housewife. Even "housewife" became a word loaded with contempt, as in "You're only a housewife?" As in, "You don't have a free will? You don't think for yourself?"
Yes, I actually am trying to help us all understand what a privileged position we find ourselves in as moms - as I wrote in Every Mother's a Working Mother. As I go about my own daily stuff serving others I think of Jesus pouring out his life as a servant for others.
Specifically - and this may sound weird - but when I have to do anything at which I feel the slightest resistance or balking or loathing, as in stripping a wet bed or washing out poopy pants - I remind myself of how Christ served. How he knelt at the feet of his disciples and took off their sandals to bathe their dirty, dust feet before sharing his last meal with them.
Then I count it a privilege to have the opportunity to serve others in a way the world regards as lowly.
My work as a mother/housewife is not about the recognition of the world. It is something strictly between me and God. While I may serve my readers through offering encouragement and inspiration, my writing also brings recognition and affirmation. Not so the work I do for my family (and btw, I didn't start writing until I was 47 years old. By then I'd been content with serving my husband and family for fourteen years - which actually started in 1983, four years before I became a Christian). The work I do at home is completely unrecognized and unaffirmed, quickly undone, often discouraging.
It's there that the rubber meets the road. It's there that the true nature of my spirituality is tested. It's easy to talk and write about spiritual matters, but can I keep that attitude when God and I are alone with some yucky task I need to do? Will I serve him through serving the others he has placed in my care? (Matthew 25:35-45)
This helps my perspective enormously!!! I can do ANYTHING for my family - with joy and gladness - when I know that I am doing it for HIM!
My favorite image in the Bible is Mary breaking her alabaster jar to pour the expensive fragrance over Jesus. Yes, my stooping over the toilet may not present as beautiful a picture, and yet in my spirit I can use my humble offering to honor Jesus in the same spirit she did - giving everything I have - not just the works of my hands, but my whole attitude - to honor him.
So, yes, Vida - we are on the same page. And thanks for letting me know there was more I needed to say. There's always so much more than I have time for!
Remember I mentioned that I had gotten all the women in my family a bracelet with a quotation from Mother Teresa for Christmas? I also got one for myself and I have not taken it off since I put it on. It's a silver band engraved with these words:
We can do no great things, only small things with great love.
This is what we need to remember! I actually think that we have an opportunity like no other occupation to live a life which can lead us straight to the heart of Christ. The more we discipline ourselves to put our selfishness aside and live for others, the more true joy we'll find. No, the world does not understand the message of self-sacrifice, but truly, when it comes to growing spiritually, that's where it's at.
For anyone who's been struggling with resentment and frustration and disappointment and doubt - and I'm all about helping you leave those behind! - try reorienting your thinking. Don't let the world dictate how you feel about ANYTHING. Dedicate every single thing you do - no matter how lowly - to God and you will soon see the difference!
That's really what taking back the apron is all about!
Posted in Apron Power!, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Oh My Dearest Barbara,
How did you know I needed so desperatley to hear this
I feel the slightest resistance or balking or loathing, as in stripping a wet bed or washing out poopy pants - I remind myself of how Christ served. How he knelt at the feet of his disciples and took off their sandals to bathe their dirty, dust feet before sharing his last meal with them.
I am on Day 4 of Strep throat with my 4 yrs old and day 3 with my 6 month old. The baby has been up fussing and crying for the past 2 days (fever on and off). This morning I just "needed" some rest, however hubby had to go help a neighbor. So I felt that loathing of no sleep...But thanks to you I am smiling and thanking our God that I have this opportunity!
Thank You...God is GREAT!
I have also been meaning to email you this link
http://www.bookisland.org/
Just in case you needed a reason to visit me in sunny FL!
Posted by: Linsey | March 11, 2007 10:26 AM
Yes, that ouch from toes being stepped on is mine. I so desperately needed to hear "The work I do at home is completely unrecognized and unaffirmed, quickly undone, often discouraging" today. And now to remind myself I can change, I can be the mommy who does those daily -- sometimes hourly -- things that get undone a few minutes later quietly and with a deep sense of joy in my heart that I am serving my family and my Lord. Thank you.
Posted by: Cathy | March 11, 2007 3:52 PM
Barbara,
Thank you for these words. I so needed to read what you had to say today. I have been struggling with resentment and frustration. I read Matthew 25:35-45 this afternoon (after reading your post) and was so struck by the words of Jesus. I keep forgetting that I need to start here, in my home, serving the "least of these" He has given me. I know that I have a high calling to be a mother, but I so quickly get buried under my selfishness.
Thank you for helping me to fix my eyes on Him.
In Him,
Christa
Posted by: Christa | March 11, 2007 4:01 PM
I've found that even though I've kicked the Feminist agenda out of my life, I still slip sometimes. When asked "What do you do?" I have a choice: I could say "I'm a Jewelry Designer" and try to impress, or I could say "I'm lovin' my 3 little girls at home!" I'm ashamed to say that I have chosen the former a few times, and then realized my blunder, rushed to make that seem secondary to my first-love, mothering. For it truly is and I would drop all the "fame and fortune" attached to being a Designer any day, if I felt it was sneaking into first place.
Thanks, Barbara, for being a constant reminder!
Posted by: graciegirl | March 11, 2007 7:54 PM
Barbara,
I stumbled upon your blog from the blogroll of "Raising Five" and Apron Talk Part 2 was so wonderful and exactly what I needed to hear...you worded it so perfectly for ME. Thank you! I plan on adding you to my blogroll, so I can read you more often.
Blessings!
Donna
Posted by: Donna | March 11, 2007 11:27 PM
