March 12, 2007 6:08 AM
Having another baby in your forties
My name is Jenny and I'm married to Andy who is a pastor at our church and in the process of planting a church in downtown San Jose. I have 3 boys, Jake 6, Dawson 4 1/2 and Garrett 3. Garrett has Down Syndrome.
I'm 41. Ever since Garrett was born, I felt like I shouldn't have any more babies. But, I've always longed for a family of 4 or 5 children. Don't know why and it always seems strange. So, we went through adoption classes. Stopped the process while Andy took over at another church site and was gone 5 nights a week. Didn't think we should do it that way.
Yesterday ~ I took a pregnancy test and found out I am pregnant. My first thought was how thankful I was that God would shower me with such kindness to answer my heart's desire without me even asking Him to do it! It was an awesome moment. However, then I found myself bombarded with fear! Fear of miscarriage, fear of people's judgments, especially my Mom's, fear of taking care of baby when Garrett is a darling handful already, fear of a disability that might be much more difficult than Down Syndrome. It was a horrible hour!
Since that time I have been focusing on what God says is TRUE ~ that children are a Gift and a Blessing. I'm feeling loved by Him in such an extravagant way ~ it's indescribable.
However, if you could share with me a few thoughts on being pregnant at 41 ~ although I don't know if you were ever pregnant at 41 ~ I'd appreciate it so much. I feel like the world looks at me like a grandmother already. In fact, a man asked me a few months ago if my boys were my grandchildren.
I realize you're so busy, so please feel free to pass this to your readers if that's easier for you.
I appreciate you mentoring and encouraging us!!!
In fact, a man asked me a few months ago if my boys were my grandchildren.
:) I know THAT feeling! Jonny was born when I was 44 and Maddy when I was 45.
Oh, let me back up to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Really loud!!! and BIG HUGS!! And of course I remember you. I remember you writing the first time - and didn't you go to Marin Covenant Church?
Jennie, I know there are so many emotions swirling around. Please grab on to the joy and hold tight! Don't let anyone - including your mother - rob you of even the teensiest bit of happy momentum God is establishing as your baby begins to grow.
This is God's plan not just for you, but especially for Garrett. He will benefit SO much from having a younger sibling - and this new child will benefit from having Garrett as Big Bro. Maddy was born 54 weeks after Jonny. Yes, Jonny's needs kept me busy, but I can't imagine Jonny being who he is without Maddy and I can't imagine Maddy being who she is without Jonny.
And I can't imagine myself without either of them.
In fact, I can't imagine any one of our family without all the others. It's a complex system of relationships, but each individual is a vital part of what God intended to help each other one grow.
It's the same for your family, too. That's why no one else can tell you what's best for your family. Only God knows - and you, of course, because if you ask, he'll show you.
Make sure you feel fully confident and saturated with God's love and confidence before you tell anyone. Don't get ripped off of the joy of receiving this wonderful gift.
I would like to post this so readers can respond and encourage you. Should I leave names in? Send it to me the way you want it printed. I know the response will be what you need.
Jenny said yes, she wants to hear from you!
I just wanted to add my CONGRATULATIONS and prayers that you will enjoy the blessing of the new life that God has given to your family. Don't let anyone take that away from you. May I suggest that when the fear starts to creep in, that you say a little prayer thanking God for the gift of the new life? That should help push away those fears and remind you to celebrate life again.
And do remember that you are NOT required to have any of the prenatal testing that they push on mothers "over 35." My youngest was born when I was 36, and all I let them do was one ultrasound to check for spina bifida (they can fix that in utero), the blood glucose tests, and the strep B screening.
Just hand it over to God and concentrate on readying your hearts for your new precious child.
Posted by: Barb Szyszkiewicz, sfo | March 12, 2007 7:11 AM
Jenny, Congratulations!! I hope you have a program at your church like we have at ours - it called Hopenetwork/Hopeangels. It is just awesome. I can't say enough about it. First, and please, without sounding like I am endorsing my church in any way, because I'm NOT!!!!! I am only giving the link because that is how I know you can find the link to Hope network. It has been wonderful for my daughter, Alexa, and the girls in the group home she lives with. Yes, she lives in a group home. www.northsideonline.org/ministries/hopeNetwork.htm Barbara, I hope it is ok to send this link via your site.
Posted by: deborah | March 12, 2007 7:14 AM
Congratulations, Jenny! God bless you with a joy-filled pregnancy!
Posted by: Beth | March 12, 2007 7:52 AM
Congratulations. What a blessing. Yes you're probably imagining what could happen. Allow this to keep you closer in conversation with the Creator. I had my 4th at 44. What a blessing. The other children adore him (a little too much) and it is a delight to see them interact.
I said no to the amniotic test because we knew this child was already a part of the family regardless of his physical well=being. Other mothers pregnant counseled me this way. We were at peace.
Oh, I do miss pregnancy. There is nothing in the world that compares to feeling that wee one wiggle in your womb!
Posted by: Barb | March 12, 2007 9:30 AM
Congratulations! I can't really offer much in the way of advice myself -- I'm under 30 and expecting my 3rd right now -- but I'd love to some day be 41 and pregnant again! There's more people in your situation than you might think -- I even know several of them locally. (I'm in Chicago.) Enjoy your pregnancy, and your new little one!
Posted by: Newt Sherwin | March 12, 2007 9:31 AM
Congratulations, dear! After years of infertility, we were filling out adoption paperwork and suddenly I found out I was pregnant. I delivered c-section right before my 41st b-day. I did not take ANY of the prenatal tests. I ate lots of kale, steak, yogurt, and drank lots of milk and lots of water. It is important to get plenty of rest, and take your vitamins every day. I will pray for you; everything will be fine.
Posted by: elena maria vidal | March 12, 2007 9:56 AM
Congratulations! A new baby is wonderful and exciting!
I am 39 and expecting my 6th baby in August. I have an autistic son who is almost 13, and many, many people thought we were nuts to continue having children. However, it has turned out to be the greatest thing for him and for the whole family. It gave him friends, and helpers, and my children are so compassionate and accepting.
I felt dread and fear at first, and telling relatives is hard. After they see that you are happy, they will come around. Be happy, and positive, and no matter what the outcome, you and your children will have someone new to love.
Best wishes for a wonderful pregnancy,
Posted by: Jenny | March 12, 2007 10:34 AM
Jenny, I just talked to my OB about the age issue on Friday. She chuckled when I told her I was worried about having a baby after 35. She said her last practice in the Midwest was almost all women over 35 to early 40's who were having their FIRST babies. She said they were just fine. I know people can be weird about your news, just let it slide off your back. God is knitting the baby together as I type this and no one can take the joy of that away! If you decide to be joyous and upbeat then I would venture to guess that the people you inform will take the same attitude. Congratulations on your new baby!
Posted by: Imajackson | March 12, 2007 11:39 AM
Congratulations! I'm the oldest of 9 - my two youngest siblings were born when my mom was 41 and 44. So have no fear! Also, a woman I know just had her 8th baby and she is 51! My mom is in her early 50's now and is so happy to have a 7 year old at home, unlike most of her peers who have empty nests and no grandchildren.
Posted by: Carole | March 12, 2007 1:55 PM
Congratulations on your baby Jenny.
I have had three babies in my 40s, one at 40, a stillborn son at 43 and then a daughter at 46. All three of these children have added something good and holy to my life and I am glad to have had the opportunity to be their mother. So be not afraid Jenny! Whatever happens, God is there.
Posted by: Elena | March 12, 2007 3:09 PM
Posted by: young christian woman | March 12, 2007 4:10 PM
Jenny, I am only 25 but I have some experience in people commenting on being pregnant "at your age." Between adopting my step-children and having 4 of my own, I have 6 kids at an age when many of my peers aren't even married, yet. A few months ago I heard someone say that anyone who has kids before they are 25 is "ruining her life." All I can say is, what do they know? Maybe having a 6th kid at 25 or a 4th at 41 wasn't God's plan for their life -- but it was His plan for yours and mine!
That reminds me of a story, and now I'm rambling but... When I worked as a call-center tech for a local ISP I got a call from a customer who fixed motorcycles for a living. I don't remember what his problem was, but I recall that I fixed it pretty easily and he was very impressed. He told me he would never have been able to figure it out, and I responded, "Sure, but I don't know the first thing about motorcycles." The point is that not everybody is cut out for the same life. The eye can't be the hand, and the hand can't be the ear, and all are necessary. Isn't it wonderful that God's got it all sorted out for us so if we listen to His advice we don't have to be a foot trying to speak? God knows the best way for you to go, and no matter what anyone else thinks, you follow it!
One more thing, I've mastered the art of making this sentence into one word: "Guess-what-we're-having-a-baby-isn't-it-wonderful?!?" Hard for anyone to get in a negative attitude if you speak quickly enough! :)
Posted by: Michelle Potter | March 12, 2007 4:48 PM
Congratulations! I pray that you can hold on to the JOY that is yours and the blessing that God has given you so freely! I'm 41 too, and we have 4 children. We are in the process now of adopting a little girl from China and should receive her sometime late this year. So, I join you in celebrating children in our (early!) 40s!!
Posted by: Donna | March 12, 2007 6:30 PM
well, i'm only 28 with 2 children, but I can tell you that I think it would be awesome to have God bless me with a pregnancy at that age! I don't feel like my family is complete, although that it up in the air still.
Congrats to you!!!!
Posted by: millicent | March 12, 2007 7:16 PM
How exciting, Jenny!!
I am sure if I could meet you and hear you tell me your me your news I would get tears in my eyes, shriek with delight and give you a big hug! (That's all part of the joy of being pro-life and having faith in God! :)
Keep yourself in supportive company and keep your eyes on Jesus!
Posted by: Melissa | March 12, 2007 9:06 PM
I'm so happy for you, congratulations! Don't allow anyone or anything rob you of this joy. Philippians 4:8; keep this verse close to your heart.
Posted by: lori | March 12, 2007 9:59 PM
Jenny, I can't speak from personal experience because I'm only 30 and have 3 of my own, but my MIL is mother of 8, she gave birth to two babies after she turned 40, both of them were home births.
For myself, my last child was unexpected and came at a really difficult time for us, and yet she has already proven to be the biggest blessing for all of us, and she is not yet 3 months. I can't put into words how much better everything is since shes has been born.
Posted by: carrien | March 13, 2007 4:13 AM
Jenny- Big smiley congratulations! I had my sixth baby at one month shy of my 42nd birthday. Do as little testing as you can get away with, because whatever medical needs this baby may or MAY NOT have, what all babies most need is your love, which you obviously have in abundance. I praise God for your openness to a "big" family, and your joy in this pregnancy. Don't let the Deceiver steal your joy. We rejoice with you!!!!
Posted by: Salome Ellen | March 13, 2007 7:35 AM
That makes me so angry. I am 23 and look forward so much to having children. God has blessed me with four or five pregnancies which ended very early, and there are certainly worse things in life than having five children--like not having five children.
Posted by: young christian woman | March 13, 2007 7:40 AM
Wow!!!!! I just sat down and read ALL your posts and am feeling very supported by you all! What a gift this was. I can't thank you enough for investing the time to ENCOURAGE me ~ when you don't even know me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so excited about the future and will let you know when this Baby arrives! Thanks again! Jenny
Posted by: jenny fitzgerald | March 13, 2007 12:04 PM
CONGRATULATIONS, Jenny! I don't even know if you'll read this or not, and I don't have experience having babies at 41....HOWEVER, I felt the Lord's prompting to tell you this ; ) It is an amazing grace of God that you are ABLE to get preg at 41 (that in itself is a testimony of His kindness!!!) : ) And we just had friends who had their 9th baby at 39! Their little girl is a healthy little darling, and the preg was simple and delightful : ) I pray that for you, sister, but most of all pray the Lord's peace in your heart that HE will give you what is BEST for you and yours!!!! Praising Him for that little one being knit together in your womb!
Posted by: shawnda | March 13, 2007 3:54 PM
I am 44 and expecting my 7th sweet baby in less than a month! When I announced I was pregnant I did it with an email titled...."Beating the Odds!" I told everyone that my hubby, kids & I were thrilled beyond belief that the Lord had chosen us to have a child at an age where the chances of getting pregnant are very slim (only 3-5%)...it was better than winning the lottery! We were chosen, blessed & smiled upon by God. So are you!
We also very sweetly told everyone that even if they had any of those not so nice thoughts in their minds (what are you thinking? at your age? how many kids are you going to have anyway? do you know what causes that? aren't you worried about abnormalities? are you crazy? glad its you & not me! yada yada yada) just to keep their thoughts to themselves and smile & say to us....Congratulations you are blessed! :)
This pretty much worked like a charm...I heard nothing but positive words of encouragement.
Posted by: Beth Lambdin | March 14, 2007 8:46 PM
Read through everyone's posts again. Again, they encouraged me. Thank you! I did tell my Mom and, although she is nervous, she is happy for me because I'm happy. I am walking around feeling so loved!
Thank you all!
Posted by: Jenny Fitzgerald | March 15, 2007 1:26 AM
I love your announcement sentence... "Guess-what-we're-having-a-baby-isn't-it-wonderful?!?"
I'm 25 and just had my first baby 5 months ago, and my husband and I are hoping to have another as soon as God decides it's time. I have a feeling that our peer group will have lots of not-so-nice things to say if we announce another pregnancy soon (considering the things they said about our FIRST pregnancy at SUCH A YOUNG AGE WE ARE THROWING AWAY OUR LIVES). I will keep in mind your way of announcing and use that!
Posted by: Becky Miller | March 16, 2007 4:36 PM
CONGRATS to you, Jenny. :) I think that many people in different places recieve negative comments regarding children. It can be a real joy-stealer, and it took awhile for the Lord to help me realize that. I started getting the negative comments as soon as I announced that my 2nd baby would be our 2nd boy. I got the " poor you- you need a girl" types of comments. With my 3rd pregnancy, I sensed it would be a boy long before I the sonogram, actually, even before I was pregnant! After the sonogram,( it was my 3rd sweet little boy) I braced myself through prayer before announcing the baby's gender. As expected, I still got negative comments, but I took them much better because I had prepared myself through prayer in advance. Is'nt it silly that people would be negative over what gender you are having? For some reason, it just works out that way........
Don't let the devil steal your joy. This is an amazing BLESSING, and God is cheering for you. Actually, he's SMILING on you because he gave you this blessing. :)
Posted by: Lisa | March 17, 2007 2:09 PM
Jenny, have no fear. My husband was born when his mother was 37, and his youngest sister when their mother was 41. There were seven of them born-live.
They're all perfectly sound and healthy and productive members of society. Don't let people wig you out! I only hope I'll still be ABLE to have babies when I'm over 40.
Posted by: Mrs. Pilgrim | March 31, 2007 7:38 PM
Praise the Lord for the gift of life He has given you! What an honor and privilege!
I am the mother of 11 children. Three were born when I was in my 40's. My youngest was born at home when I was almost 48 and she is truly a wonderful blessing-God's gift. Her name is Liana which is the shortened form of the Hebrew for "my God has answered me." I call her "the child of my old age" although I don't feel old at all. She is now nearly 7 and definitely keeps me feeling young(along with all the others. I still have 9 at home).
May the Lord Jesus bless and keep you.
Love in Christ,
Posted by: Judy | April 1, 2007 12:08 AM
I just want to say that I believe that we need to encourage mothers, just like you, that babies are gifts, they are rewards, they are heritages. We should be honored to be vessels of the LORD - He has found you fit to carry a child for Him - what a blessing indeed!
Please learn more about how you can celebrate that child, that blessing by visiting our website where we have created a God-centered gathering that gives praise, honor and glory to God for His precious gift of children, a Blessing God's Way gathering -
We have also created a curriculum for moms to teach Menstruation from a Christian perspective - called Maidens by His Design - they are being taught and scheduled all across the NOVA area this spring - check the calendar for one near you!
Many blessings to you all,
Founder, Blessing God's Way
Posted by: Doran Richards | April 1, 2007 5:44 PM
I just want to tell you congratulations on your great news! The Lord will bless you beyond measure and your son will be blessed too for having another sibling to love and be loved. I had 4 children and then our 5th child was diagnosed with severe autism. We were devastated and with all the care that was needed my husband decided we should not have any more. I was torn,I thought maybe one more might be good for Jonathon but I did not know if I could care for another baby. Well God knew we needed Abigail and she was born 2 years later. She is a blessing and the best thing that ever happened to Jonathon. She takes care of him and to her,he is normal. It does not matter what people think, only what God thinks and He gave this baby to you. God bless you,
3 John 4
Posted by: Patricia | April 9, 2007 9:08 AM
Congratulations! I am thrilled for you!
I became a first time mom at age 32. My husband and I were married 10 years before God answered our prayers for a baby. We now have 3 precious children, our little miracles we call them. But my heart's desire is to have 4 children. I am now 41 years old and on one had I find myself thinking, "I'm too old now". But I also know that we serve an awesome God and He doesn't care what the world says or what people think! I'm still praying and believing for our 4th little miracle.
I will be praying for you and your precious baby too!
Posted by: Cindy | April 15, 2007 8:34 PM
I am in a total quandary.. I am now 48 and have just found that I am pregnant.. my doctor advises I am at risk of having a downs baby.. but I still cant help feeling I have been blessed by fate.. like you.. I have concerns and worries, not helped by my partners reaction of one of dont worry this can all be sorted by the doctor! Oh god, what a dilemma, my children are 28 and 25.. hows that for beating the odds.!!
Posted by: Ann | August 13, 2007 6:39 AM
I remember having my second baby at forty and it was bliss. Congratulations! It is such a blessing to have a child when you really get and can appreciate all that it is and how very lucky and fortunate we are to have a child with so much life experience behind us. I wrote lots of letters about my first born and then when my second child was born, a daughter, I wrote a book all about the incredible blessing of this unconditional love we have for our children. My book Love Mommy is all about having my children and really appreciating the incredible gift that has been given to us. All the best of luck to you and enjoy every moment!
Posted by: Judy Siblin-Librach | September 16, 2007 7:16 PM
Pregnant at 41 is not bad. I am 43 and will be 44 and I have just found out that I am pregnant. I am praying for a healthy baby. I already have 3 children ages 15,7 and 6 and honestly did not want another one. Your statement that children are a blessing has calmed some of my anxiety. I too felt embarrassed and concerned about what others would say. When I told my husband he asked me how I could get pregnant? I asked him don't you remember being there when it happened?
Anyway,May all of God's greatest blessings be yours now and always. Keep me in your prayers.
Posted by: Joye | September 29, 2007 5:00 PM
1st congrats are in order. what a blessing!I am 41 next week and my husband just informed me he would love to have another child. we have 3 children 19,17,15. All boys! we were married young I had 1stillborn 4 miscarriages and then 3 healthy boys. my husband then went for a vasectomy. in order for us to have a child he will have to go through a reversal.
Posted by: sherry | October 9, 2007 7:47 PM
I have 6 children---ages 10, 8, 6, 4, 3, and 11 months. All healthy and conceived naturally. I had them at ages 32, 34, 36, 38, 40 and 42 (with 4 early miscarriages in between). I am now 43 and trying for a 7th! please pray for me because everyone I know things I am nutty.
Posted by: Mel | October 17, 2007 9:55 PM
I loved reading everyone's support and advice here. I am 54 and think I am pregnant! I've been post-menopausal for one year and didn't expect this. But the symptoms are making it hard to ignore.
I also believe that a child is a blessing from God--I just didn't expect to be blessed at this age! But whatever happens, I believe my most important, fulfilling and wonderful responsibility in life is that of a mother. I have two children, ages 22 and 28, who will be shocked if I am pregnant, but very loving, compassionate and supportive--as well as excited-- so this will be quite an experience for all of us! Please let me know if you have heard of anyone else being pregnant at this age.
Posted by: Diane | October 25, 2007 11:08 PM
I'm so happy for you. My husband & I are together 18 years, and were struggling and working and don't have any children. I am 41 now, and I regret that it didn't happen but I want to have a baby now. My husband is 51 and said that if God wants us to have a baby we will. I truly believe that. I hope it happens, if it's meant to be. God bless you and your new baby. It was such a blessing to hear your story and read the other replies. I feel so hopeful. Thank you, Have a beautiful baby, Denise
Posted by: Denise | January 23, 2008 8:00 PM
I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories-- you really inspire other women. I am 44 (almost 45) and my ex husband never wanted children, now I have met a wonderful man and your posts give me hope that I can possibly fulfill my dream of being a mother (and a wife to a good man). It seems all I hear elsewhere is that I'd be nothing short of a freak to even try...but your posts give me hope.
Posted by: Laura | May 12, 2008 9:33 PM
My husband and I have four children..17,15,11,9.
We just found out we are expecting our fifth! I am 39 and he is almost 42. We are more shocked than even the children! Yes, we are excited, but nervous because of my age and it not being "planned". The funny thing is I have been taking prenatal vitamins already for years, because they seem to work best for me and keeping my energy level up! We anticipate family members and friends will have negative comments for us, since it has been ten years since my last pregnancy. We are trying to focus on the TRUTH that God has blessed us, and will take care of this young life inside of me. This baby was a desire of my heart the last 9 and a half years, but I really hadn't thought it would happen the year I am turning 40! Praise the Lord for this surprise! Thank you for being here, because reading these posts truly helped encourage me and calm some of my fears.
Bless you all. (I am praying for those of you that are trying to get pregnant.God hears your every prayer and hearts cry!Psalm 37)
Posted by: Suzanne | June 16, 2008 3:13 AM
I'm 41 years old and have two children ages 4 & 7. I had one girl at 34 and the other one at 37. Then I had a miscarriage at 38 (12 weeks along), another miscarriage at 39 (6 weeks along) and one at 40 (11 weeks along). After my last miscarriage and D&C, I wanted to try again but my husband did not want me to go through that again, as the D&C was horrendous!
So, I have accepted that God's will for my life is to have two healthy beautiful girls but all the while, have continued to pray that God would change my husband's heart. Much to my amazement and shock, last night, my husband came to me and told me that if I still wanted to try for another child, that he would be ready to go for it:) He said that God had changed his heart and that the loving thing for him to do was to let me try again. All this after one year of waiting and praying!!!
So, I said all that to say this, I don't know if we should try again??? How do I know if that's what the Lord wants? What if I miscarry again or have a disabled child? I truly believe that children are a gift from God but I'm not sure that I would even get pregnant, just because we "try." My periods have been very irregular lately. I am planning to do a one day fast this week and really seek God's face on what to do but I thought I would ask you what you thought? I would really appreciate any insight/wisdom you could give me.
Thank you so much!!!
Posted by: jen | August 31, 2008 2:41 PM
Hi, everyone! What an encouraging bunch you all are! I am divorced, with two sons, ages 16 and 23. I have met a man who is 44 and thinks he would like to have children. If things work out well between us and we do get married, I'd be 47, and even if I conceived immediately, that'd make me nearly 48, so maybe even 49 before I'd have a child with him. Is it ridiculous even to be considering this? I know I can talk to my doctor, but I wondered what you all think.
Posted by: Judy | October 7, 2008 10:19 PM
I envy you so much. I just turned 40 and for the last year have really wanted a baby#4. My husband who is 47, does not. There is nothing I can say or do to convince him. We have a son who is 11, a son who is 8 1/2, and a daughter who will be 4 next month. It's hard for me to be around people that I know who are pregnant. In fact I started going to our early church service to avoid seeing new babies and people who are pregnant. I also just found out that my husban's brother who is a year older than him will be adopting a baby with his wife soon. He already has four kids. My husband states that he does not want the added stress of raising another child, nor the financial burden. But the biggest drawback is his age. I feel so hopeless,powerless and terribly sad. He was one of 12 children and told me that when he was growing up he felt "processed" rather than parented, and would never want any of our children to feel this way. I cry all the time about this. He tells me this is just biology and that in a few years I'll get over it, but what if I never do? I don't want to live the rest of my life in such a fog of sadness.
Posted by: Gretchen | October 11, 2008 9:05 PM
CONGRATULATIONS JENNY!!! that is such wonderful news. my mom had my brother and i when she was in her 20's. And then she went on to lose several babies -- but kept trying -- until at the age of 39 and 41 when she had my last 2 sisters. they were her best and most wonderful pregnancies (far better then when she was in her 20's) and her easiest labors yet!
i am 14 years older then my youngest sister and despite what many people have said -- we are super close and the best of friends!
Posted by: Ruth | October 12, 2008 2:23 PM
I"am 43 and am trying to have another child i have a three year old.I was afraid of maybe that it might not happen or the child could be disabled..your stories inspired me truly that god knows best ,and be and it is.Whatever he has planned for us.Thank you from my soul.
Posted by: amy | October 12, 2008 11:27 PM
I don't have anything really new to add...but I just wanted to say how blessed I am to have read all of the encouraging comments here. We have 6 kids--yours(2), mine (3), ours(1)--and we are both only 32. I have no idea if we'll have more--some days providing for the ones we have now is nothing but a miracle.
But reading all of these comments I am reminded of a friend who is 40. She and her husband desparately want to have a baby, and as of yet, haven't been able. But they refuse fertility treatments because they believe it is in God's hand. If He wants it for them, they know He will provide a baby. It's the same for each of you who have had "unplanned" babies (God knew what He was doing even if we weren't willing ;)), or babies at years beyond the "peak" or even before.
Embrace God's blessing and being His instrument. Who knows what impact that baby will have on the earth!
Posted by: Ceci | October 13, 2008 11:13 AM
Dear All, I believe God led me to this site today. Last week I had a pregnancy scare. I call it a scare because I am 41 and in a relatively new relationship with a man I love dearly but I already have three children with my ex-husband. I really panicked when my monthly was a week late and that only ever happens when I've been pregnant in the past. I went through all the emotions of gosh what am I going to do now etc. However, would you believe that as soon as my period came I became really upset and realised that I had wanted this gift from God after all, that I would have been truly blessed had I been pregnant. I am now praying that the Lord will look favourably on me and that He has forgiven my initial rejection of his blessing. My partner has no children so I know he would be ecstatic if I was to conceive.
Jenny, you started this initial thread, many congratulations, you must have had your wonderful baby and he will be a few month old now I guess. I'm sure everything is going well for you and your family. However, look what your thread started...isn't the Almighty truly an awesome God!!
Posted by: Christina | October 20, 2008 4:43 AM
Congratulations to you. My husband and I have a son that is 16 years old and last year when I was 42 years old I became pregnant again. I had been wanting another baby and the pregnancy was wonderful. Sadly, our baby passed away during labor from an umbilical cord accident this March. It has been a very emotional time for all of us in the family. I'm now 43 years old and have been trying again for another baby. I pray God will answer my prayers soon.
Posted by: Susie | November 13, 2008 12:23 AM
I am 43 turning 44 in 8/09 I have been reading this site for a while now thinking of having a fourth. I have a 16,14 and 4 year old. My Husband is 48 and I am so worried about downs syndrome so worry it has been holding me back from having a 4th baby.
Can anyone tell me what the statics really are?
[From Barbara - Susan, you must not realize that I have four sons with Down syndrome. My birth son was born when I was 44. He is now 16. I had another birth child after him and have since adopted three more sons with Down syndrome. Why not click on the Category Down syndrome above, scroll to the bottom and start reading my posts on DS and my sons. It truly is not the end of the world. I wouldn't trade my sons for anything :)]
Posted by: Susan B | January 11, 2009 7:03 PM
Iam 45 years old and gave birth to a daughter in Oct 2008 at the age of 44. My other daughters are 23, 22 & 11 so have had a few gaps between. I think that you should do whatever you feel comfortable with & not take notice of what other people think. Go for it!!!
Posted by: THERESA BENNETT | April 22, 2009 2:19 PM
I am going on 41 and just remarried in December. My husband was never married and has no children. When we were dating I said from the get-go, no more children - I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. He said he was fine with that and felt lucky to be a part of my children's lives as they are still so young.
We've started talking about it again tho, I've started feeling I might want to have another child. He never pressures me but I know he'd love to have a child of his own. Reading this board has made me feel that it could be a possibility. Thank you!
I wanted to comment to about the miscarriage thing. I lost three to miscarriage between my 1st and 2nd live births. It turned out that I had elevated cardiolipin antibodies and was diagnosed with antiphosphilipid syndrome. My rhuemetologist put me on St. Joseph's baby aspirin and a month later I was pregnant. I continued with the aspirin till a few weeks before the birth. If you have suffered miscarriages, find out what your cardiolipin anibody levels are. The solution may be as simple as the St. Joseph's aspirin! Congratulations to all the moms here!
Posted by: Marie S | April 29, 2009 7:45 AM
I am 48 years and its my greatest desire to have a child .I have been married for nine years and have prayed and prayed and fasted to god for twins. I not heard an answer yet but I AM NOT GIVING UP until my get my blessing. All Please,please pray that i WILL GET MY GIFT.
Posted by: andra | August 31, 2009 11:38 AM
I had my 3rd child when I was 41 (turning 42 the year she was born), and my husband was 42, (turning 43 that year). It was a total surprise for both my husband and I. We already had two children, were well settled and thought our family was complete. I married my husband very early at 22, had my first son at 24 and second son at 26. We went through many tough times during that time, but after settling down, we felt perfect and complete that the thought of another baby never came into our minds. Well we got a huge surprise on our 19th wedding anniversary in June 1999. I was pregnant..again. At first we both were a bit upset because my hubby and I were already in our 40's and thought we were too old, had a son who was going to college soon, and a son who in his teens. I kept thinking how on earth am I going to handle a newborn now at this time? I don't know what went wrong because I was taking birth control pills and everything and was very careful with it. We even thought about adoption at first, but made a decision to keep the baby. As my pregnancy progressed, I felt more comfortable and began to enjoy it more. When my daughter was born the following January, I found many comparisons in that pregnancy with my two previous ones. I found the labor and delivery much easier the 3rd time around (delivered naturally), and was much more relaxed. With my first two, I was in so much pain and screamed throughout the process. It's probably due to taking care of my body really well through all these years. Also there were tons of advantages as well. My husband got a chance to experience babyhood with my daughter. He works only 3 days a week and spends the rest of the time home, so it's def a benefit. When I had my sons, he wasn't around too much as he was still in medical school doing his residency and stuff, so he missed a lot of my sons' early years. Also it's less stressful since I have much more help than I did before. I can rest, while my husband or sons watch the baby, and it also benefits my sons too, as they get to experience and know firsthand what's it like to have a baby. I'm sure when they become first time fathers one day, they'll know what expect unlike many first time parents. My daughter is now a thriving 10 year old. She is a joy, and is a great companion for me and my daughter in law (second son is married). My husband and I don't feel too old to be her parents, in fact, we are told we look young enough to be her parents. We are 51 (me) and 53 (husband), but people claim we look about 37 and 38 LOL! It's funny though because when I tell them I have a 27 and 25 year old son, they give weird looks and ask me all the time how young was I when I had them. Some youngster told me once it sounded like I had them both when I was around 12! But again it's mainly due to us taking care of our bodies well, having a daily fitness regime. So in conclusion, I learned that you can have a baby at any age, you are never too old. I thought 41 was too old at first, but realized it's now, and am now seeing many moms 40+ having babies..so it's def not a rare thing. Good luck and I hope you get your little miracle!
Posted by: Elise | May 9, 2010 12:02 AM
Jenny,It's been a while since the last posts. I was wondering how everything went for you? I have 2 children. My 1st is my wonderful son who is now 3 1/2 and my 2nd is 16 months. I just turned 40 this week and I would love to have another baby. But I do worry about another child with special needs. Could I handle it all fairly for them?
Posted by: Dana | October 22, 2010 8:13 PM
I am a 48 year old man and feeling a little out of place posting on this site. Seems most of the posts are from women. We have a wonderful 7 year old son and I so much desire to have another child. Four years ago my wife became pregnant. She was 39 years old at time. She claimed she was not prepared to have another child so she went and had an abortion against my most intense pleas not to. This put a huge dent in our marriage. We separated for some time and reunited with a renewed hope to have another child. My wife will be 44 this year. We have been trying for a little less than a year for pregnancy. So far nothing has happened. Thank you for all the posts. Reading through them has encouraged me to continue to try and have this child. God willing it will happen soon. I am keeping my hopes up. Looks as though people have not been recently replying, but I hope someone replies with some advice and more
Posted by: Pete | August 19, 2012 7:28 PM