March 6, 2007 12:50 PM
My blogging philosophy
This just in:
I have enjoyed your blog for a little over a year or so now, but I really don't enjoy this political ranting and raving and bashing. I do agree with most everything you say, it's just that the reasons I came to MommyLife were for support in mothering and good ideas and encouragement. Not this--at least not this much of this. I don't want to sound like "I'm never going to read this blog again" or anything like that, I just thought if I felt this way there were probably others out there too and I just wanted to let you know, it was great the way it was. Uplifting. If it's just me, then feel free to ignore this.
I must admit I took offense at Sharron's comment, the same way any woman might if a frequent guest in her home sat down for one of hundreds of meals and said: "I usually like your cooking but I hate meat loaf. I'm not going to threaten to never come back, but I just wanted you to know that there might be other friends who don't like your meat loaf and I hope you'll stick to enchiladas from now on."
But actually, it's even more than that - as though a frequent guest had eaten a bunch of meals she likes without ever saying thank you (though Sharron says she's been visiting for a year, she's never left a single comment) and thinks I would take seriously her efforts to steer my culinary skills.
Actually, the cooking analogy is pretty apt since my byline says I'm serving up a smorgasbord here.
Let me revisit why I blog. I am a professional writer - meaning I usually get paid for writing. Two years ago I felt that I had a more immediate need to communicate. I had learned early on in my writing career that the best writers write out of love and that’s truly what brings me here. I love children and I love their moms and I want to help them find the joy in their years together,
But I also love justice. I love the truth. I don’t like to see injustice continue just because someone has more money or power – or a printing press or a louder voice.
I will continue to use my blog to share my wisdom and opinions. Hopefully there is a lot of overlap there *big smile.* I refuse to take seriously readers who think I should care about their approval of what I’m writing here. I’m not running for political office and I’m not going to pretend to be less than a very multidimensional person.
My blog is who I am.
Right now, I’m cleaning my cupboards and there will be lots of politics for the next week or so – then back to the usual fare - at least, as far as I know. But as I’ve told you here before, I’ve never been one to force my kids to eat anything I serve. And I certainly am not forcing my readers to read every word I write.
So, Sharron, my question is: when you go to a buffet, do you complain to the management because you don’t like one of the dishes they offer? Do you take it personally that they don’t just serve only the dishes you want to eat? Or do you just conclude that the chef cares about everyone – not just the folks who don’t like spinach?
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Comments
Dear Barbara,
I for one enjoy your "ranting and raving". It instructs me on how to properly voice my own opinions about things that I disagree with or are passionate about. I do not have your gift with words. I know what I feel but can't always express them properly. Please don't change anything about the way you blog. I enjoy your examples.
Your friend from Lake Norman
Donna
Posted by: Donna Ward | March 6, 2007 1:46 PM
I think your last commentor is right on! i feel the same way - i can't always express what i feel you do it so well. (which is why you're a writer) i enjoy reading your blog and i enjoy reading your "political" parts too. sometimes you bring to attention things i haven't really thought about. and it gets me thinking and researching. so thank you for making me use my brain!
ps the sentences for spam crack me up.
Posted by: Allena | March 6, 2007 2:11 PM
Please let your voice be heard! I love your mommy wisdom as well as your cultural and political wisdom. If we don't speak up in this culture politically, then who will defend the family values that many people actively work to oppose? I care greatly about our nation and there are many things that I can't impact, but I can let my voice be heard in a kind and loving way. I echo Donna's sentiments above. I am so thankful for your blog.
Posted by: Pam | March 6, 2007 2:32 PM
I appreciate your courage to stand up for the truth. I respect you so much - especially when you stick up for the "little guys", including the disabled and the unborn. Keep using your strength and wisdom to fight the evil in this world. God bless.
Posted by: Carol | March 6, 2007 2:44 PM
Barbara, I appreciate your voice, and I love that you don't care what people think about you (we should all strive for this), but it seems that your reactions to readers of late has been rather harsh. Just like you're entitled to your own opinion, we all are entitled to ours. This forum of free thought is wonderful; don't condescend and yell at your readers for sharing their own thoughts.
Posted by: Wes | March 6, 2007 3:19 PM
Barbara,
I've thought through this issue some regarding my own blog. In the end, my thought is: it's your blog, do whatever you want.
At the same time, at least for me, I think I want my audience to feel some ownership in my blog, to feel like it is special and unique to them. At some point, I think most people are going to think that kind of investment in what I am doing means they have a voice in what kind of content goes up there. It's a blancing act.
I am, by no means, telling you what to do. I just thought I'd share my thoughts in hopes they might be helpful.
Posted by: Dean | March 6, 2007 3:21 PM
Great analogies. You put things so well, Barbara. I don't always agree with you, but I LIKE you! You're spunky and brave and funny and caring and a whole lot more.
You said, "when you go to a buffet, do you complain to the management because you don’t like one of the dishes they offer? Do you take it personally that they don’t just serve only the dishes you want to eat? Or do you just conclude that the chef cares about everyone – not just the folks who don’t like spinach?"
How true! Why do blog readers think they have the right to tell bloggers what they should or shouldn't blog about as if they were the only ones reading it? This is your place and I support you in blogging about what you see fit to blog about! Go Barbara!
Posted by: Kim | March 6, 2007 3:22 PM
Wes, you said "Just like you're entitled to your own opinion, we all are entitled to ours."
You certianly are. But maybe you missed the whole point of what I said. This is my blog and I think it's rude for people to tell me what I should or should not blog about.
Dean, you know I love your writing! But no, I'm not interested in people having ownership in my blog if it means I'm subject to their censorship!
Interesting that two men have heard something different than the women have in this one :)
Posted by: barbara | March 6, 2007 3:37 PM
Barbara,
I think you're great! I love your meatloaf, your spinach and your enchiladas! I just thought I pop in and say "Hi!" so just in case I do have a criticsm some day, (which I kind of doubt will happen) at least you'll know who I am.
I've only been reading you for about a month. My only regret is that I don't live in Loudoun County, so not everything pertains to me. I wonder if that's enough incentive to move?
Thanks for your great blog!
Kathy, mother of 5 (all age 8 and under) in Boston, MA
Posted by: Kathy | March 6, 2007 3:48 PM
"Ranting" and "raving" and "bashing"...oh my! I totally disagree with Sharron. I appreciate hearing about political issues here. And it's encouraging to see how you deal with injustice... it lets me know I that I can too. If all mothers were as involved in our local scenes as you are Barbara, this world would be a much better place for our children to grow and live.
Posted by: gendifrank | March 6, 2007 4:03 PM
Please don't listen to them, Barbara! You can't please all the people all the time, but you can be you! What if they didn't like your opinions on mothering? What if they felt about Montessori like they feel about your politics? Would they dare tell you, "I like all your politics, but I wish you would quit with all that parenting nonsense!"
Just be you! If someone doesn't like you for who you are and ALL the things you believe, that's their problem!
Posted by: Michelle Potter | March 6, 2007 4:36 PM
Amen, sister. Amen.
I sometimes stop and think about what I'm posting, but then I get the little voice inside saying...it's YOUR blog, say what YOU want.
Posted by: Linda | March 6, 2007 4:36 PM
I enjoy all aspects of your blog. The political side helps me to stay informed on what's going on. The mothering side helps to to feel confident in my calling as a mother. I share a lot of your opinions. Keep up the good work!!
Posted by: Mindy | March 6, 2007 4:49 PM
Barbara - keep it up! I love everything you serve on your smorgasbord! I also don't mind the ranting and raving (hence the name of my blog : ) It gets me to thinkin' and that's a good thing.
Posted by: Kristin | March 6, 2007 5:27 PM
Hey Barbara,
This sums it up for me!!
(of course, not in a romantic way)
Keep up your special way of blogging!
Kathy
Just the Way You Are -
Billy Joel
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before . . .
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are . .
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
Posted by: Kathy | March 6, 2007 5:38 PM
I also picked up on the "ranting and raving" clause. It seems that whenever says something we don't agree with, they are "ranting and raving."
Posted by: Marie | March 6, 2007 5:40 PM
I'm a lefty Unitarian with no kids yet, and I read you for your unique and articulate perspective, Barbara. I don't mind your political posts (not that it's really my business to mind, as you point out), but I've felt slighted over the way you've responded to some recent criticism.
And you know what? The feeling slighted is my own problem. You're completely up-front about who you are and what you believe in; I, conversely, need to be aware of where I stand in the space where we disagree anyway. I felt the "uplifting" in your older posts too, and I'm not feeling it lately, but it's neither your mission nor your duty to shower me, the kidless liberal, with warm fuzzies. Rock on.
Posted by: persimmon | March 6, 2007 5:52 PM
Mrs. C,
You do seem a little harsh when responding to people but I am sure you are fed up with the whiners coming over and complaining. You know that in the past I have voiced my opinion, very loudly I might say, and I am glad that you allowed me to do so. I might not agree with all that you say (although as of late you are making more and more sense about a lot of stuff!) if I can't come to your blog (home) and visit without complaining about what you write or how you run your site then I shouldn't come. I would not invite someone back to my home if they didn't enjoy the experience. Sometimes you can't please everyone. Also, there are a million blogs out there that are just for mothers and don't even approach the political side of things. For me, life is a whole and my mothering needs to know what is going on in the political world for if we don't make a change now, our children will suffer for it in the future. This is the very reason why I visit you, Mrs. Spurling (achrisitanhome) and Amy from humble musing. It's not all fluff and motherhood but gives us a little of everything to think about and glean from. Keep up the good work and just let the people who don't want to be here move on. I like it more now than in the past because as a person who did not grow up involved with any understanding of the world, I need all the help I can get when it comes to learning about life - politics and motherhood all in one!
Posted by: Mrs. Damian Garcia | March 6, 2007 6:18 PM
If the subhead on your blog said "chinese cuisine only" or "serving up nothing but pasta and pizza" then I'd expect that. But you're right -- "smorgasbord" is stated up there. And I appreciate all that you post and share with your readers here, Barbara. =)
Besides, being a mommy goes way beyond concerns such as teaching the kids ABC's, doing the laundry and menu-planning. When a mom loves justice and truth, she does what she can so that the world her children grow up in upholds those virtues as well.
Again, thank you so much for blogging, Barbara. I look forward to parenthood because of your writing.
Posted by: Sunnyday | March 6, 2007 6:39 PM
Fantastic analogy Barbara - I loved it! Perhaps my love of good food is coming through there too :-)
Basically - it's your blog and surely anything that you feel a passion to write about reflects who you are.
I personally love to read most of what you write - you often get me to think about things I haven't thought about before, or more importantly reassess why I think how I think!
If a particular topic doesn't interest me so much then I just move on.
Keep writing about your passions! Political, mother/family oriented, faith oriented - it's all who you are!
Cheers, Wilm
Posted by: Wilm | March 6, 2007 6:44 PM
I do enjoy your posts. What you write tells me what is on your mind. You are more than a mother, more than a writer. God made each of us in His image, and yet individual and unique. Do your best and your readers will appreciate it. As someone has already stated, we readers can always 'leave'.
Posted by: pam | March 6, 2007 8:00 PM
When Spunky decided to stop blogging, there were people who were upset with her and thought they "deserved" more notice. I was flabbergasted that anyone would be so presumptuous or self-centered.
It takes a lot of effort to keep up a blog. The people who visit are essentially receiving a free gift. Would someone who received a gift they disliked tell the gifter they should take it back and get them something else?
I read many, many, many blogs. Of course I'm not interested in everything they write. I read what interests me and skip what doesn't. Other than the slight effort involved in my scroll finger, it doesn't present a problem. ;)
I think you do a fine job.
Posted by: Amy K. | March 6, 2007 8:48 PM
I really enjoy the variety of topics that get blog time here. I thought that was one of the main attractions, but maybe I'm just easy to please. ;)
Posted by: Birdie | March 6, 2007 9:00 PM
Barbara,
After a day of being force fed the usual liberal fare on news reports, headlines, magazine articles and web news sites, your blog is the tall, cool glass of water I need and crave. I enjoy all you offer....more than you can imagine!
With thanks!
Posted by: Kelly | March 6, 2007 9:13 PM
I appreciate you talking politics from time to time. Since I don't watch the news or listen to talk radio, your voice is the only one I hear lately, and it has brought a couple of key issues to my attention that I need to be aware of. Stay true to you- I have no fear you won't.
:)
Posted by: Valerie | March 6, 2007 9:59 PM
I love you, Barbara! Thanks for all you share and keep it all coming - the Lord uses you in my life!!! I love your passion and honesty! Thanks for sharing so boldly!!!!! That is a GREAT testimony to the church - honesty and boldness! Two things that we tend to shy away from!!!! :(
Posted by: shawnda | March 6, 2007 10:12 PM
I am one of those that doesn't care for the political posts, but I don't have problem just scrolling past til I see something that interests me.
I just find politics aggravating and a little boring. I don't fit very comfortably in the republican party, and fit a lot less comfortably with the democrats...so just about anything I read that is political just leaves me frustrated. That is okay though....I am not expecting people to just post the stuff I want to read. ;)
Posted by: paigeu | March 7, 2007 1:56 AM
Barbara, I liked your blog before, but I like it even better with the politics mixed in. It is very simple to not read what one is not interested in, as well. Please don't feel like you are doing something wrong by posting things some people do not want to read--after all, we have all seen you post on questions that readers asked about because they care about! It's more work and more considerate to respond to a request for a specific post than to not make a post some people won't appreciate.
:)
Posted by: Young Christian Woman | March 7, 2007 7:21 AM
Barbara, your comment about enjoying the meals but never saying "thank you" spoke to me. I read your blog often and have discovered a few other blog gems through your blogroll that I enjoy reading. I guess I've been *shy* about commenting. I'll work on that. I'm blogging a bit now and know how much I like knowing who is reading my thoughts and their impressions of them. I'm going to make sure I offer the same to the writers I enjoy.
Posted by: Amanda | March 8, 2007 2:03 PM
I'm with the other Kelly, after the liberal brainwashing we get from the main media outlets, your blog is a great sigh of relief. It's like when I first put my glasses on in the morning, instead of trying to squint hard to see clearly on the issues, finally I have someone telling it like it is.
And I think we mommies should care about politics, although when you feel overrun with littles it can be hard to care about anything that isn't immediately urgent (like a poopy diaper or a spilled cup or a bumped noggin). We need to care and to act to make sure our county, our state, and our country is a place where we can raise our children as we see fit and our rights are protected.
Posted by: KellyM | June 8, 2007 9:58 AM
