March 5, 2007 2:53 PM
Why forgive your mother? Part 2
Still trying to encourage those of you who need it to get over the bondage in your life because of resentment you may have toward your mothers. I've just been hearing so much about on this subject lately.
Heard Dr. Dobson saying the other day that some people say they will be able to forgive once they are healed.
No way! he said. You don't wait to be healed and then forgive. You forgive and then the healing process can begin.
In other words, if you refuse to forgive (and as Stormie Omartian says, it's a decision and act of obedience) you cannot be healed.
If your relationship with your parent is crippled, so is your relationship with God. No amount of rationalization can change that.
As the speakers at the Brio Closer Moms/Daughters conference (which Sophia, Maddy and I attended a few weeks ago and I haven't yet gotten around to writing about) pointed out: rejecting your parents is like rejecting God's plan for your life. While anger toward a parent doesn't keep you from a relationship with God, it definitely diminishes the vitality of it.
Why am I passing on these easily understood but harder-to-put-into-practice ideas? Because it does my heart good when I receive mail like this:
I'm so blessed by your articles and what you write. Thanks. The forgiveness one really hit home. I recently had to work through some "garbage" regarding my mom and the freedom that came with letting it all go is indescribable. I have a peace that I've never known before. She's not changed but I have. God is so good!!
Nothing would bless me more than to receive a hundred letters like this from readers who've finally let go of blame and self-pity - which just holds you back from being all you can be - and set themselves and their mothers free. There's only one person who profits from your bondage - the liar and accuser who will also whisper in your daughters' ears when they grow up. Learn now to defeat him yourself so you can pass that victory on to your daughters.
God wants to set each of us free. He said so in Isaiah 61. I believe him. Do you?
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Comments
Barbara, I agree 100%. I've already posted on your site about this, but the decision to forgive my parents was truly life-changing.
FWIW, I really can't take credit for it, as I was strongly led there by God and a Christian friend. But letting go of all that bitterness and anger really made it possible for me to open up and love people---not just my parents---in a way that had really been impossible before.
Posted by: Kirsten | March 5, 2007 4:28 PM
I'd love to offer this link for people http://www.ccmbooks.org/onlinebooks/freefrombitterness/index.htm
It is the online version of a pamphlet called "How to be Free from Bitterness" by Jim Wilson. It is a collection of short essays teaching on how to be free from bitterness, forgiving other, taking offense, bridling the tongue, and the importance of a good relationship with your parents amongst other things. I highly recommend it. CCM produces this for free too, so if anyone reads it and thinkgs "hey, I'd like to have a copy or two" all you have to do is contact them.
It is amazing what bitterness can do to a person, how it can just destroy everything, even relationships that aren't originally the problem.
Thank you so much for writing about this topic Barbara! It is definitely worth everyones time to look at and deal with.
Posted by: Tiffany | March 6, 2007 12:16 PM
