April 5, 2007 10:36 PM
Guest Blogger: Spunky on working wives
Regarding the discussion here on working mothers, Spunky takes it one step farther with the story of why she quit her career to stay home even before she had kids:
I read the post on career women. I find the best rebuttal is a personal testimony. Here's my story, where I chose to abandon a lucrative career in the computer industry to be a wife to my husband.We had been married about 6 months. With graduation finally behind me, I was free to build a career in the growing computer industry. Steve also took his first job as a sales rep. We both loved what were doing but something didn't seem quite right to me. We would go to work, come home in the evening, eat, catch up on stuff, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up and do it all over again. I began to pray that God would lead me in the ways He desired. I made a commitment when we were married to do everything I could to make Steve successful and not be a hinderance to God's plans for him. But I felt like that's what I was becoming. My career was taking up more and more of my time and I had less time to focus on being his wife. I realized that if it came down to a choice between my husband needing me at home on a given day and my boss needing me at work, I would probably choose the job over my husband. After all, I reasoned, Steve's a grown man. He can take care of himself. But the tug was still there despite my best efforts to pretend otherwise. I needed to put my marriage ahead of my career even before I had a child to care for.To read the entire article, click here.
Also, I know you have many homeschool moms who read your site, this is a VERY encouraging article on the importance of the job they are doing. It is EXCELLENT and even a non homeschool might find it inspiring.
Homeschool Mothers: The Beatrice Brigade
Spunky and I are joined at the hip in many ways, though my kids are in public school right now (kinda like being called to missions), so I am honored since she has been taking a blogging hiatus that when she has something to say she would say it here.
I noticed with the last dust-up over working mothers/SAHMs that people are quick to jump in and accuse others of being judgmental. I hope you understand the irony of that when you get self-righteous and swoop in to tell everyone how harsh they're being - it's kind of a Screwtape Letter-type situation and you need to check yourself when you feel that indignation over what you perceive as someone else's judgmentalism - even as you are being judgmental yourself.
One thing I've noticed over the years is that when a woman speaks with confidence there are always other women who want to bring her down. I didn't hear any meanness in the moms who were defending their choice to stay home against yet another media onslaught trying to make fools of them. So it is hard for me to understand then when not only do they face ridicule in the public arena, but when they stand up for themselves, they are besieged by those who accuse them of judging working moms.
They're simply stating their position. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. After all, we don't want moms to be wimpy, do we?
Posted in Current Affairs, Homeschooling, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Mrs. Curtis,
I read the Beatrice Brigade yesterday. It literally made me cry. For once I really felt someone understood where I was coming from and despite all the people that knew me before I became the wife and mother that I am today (the people who think I am too stupid to home educate or don't understand my desire to lift up my husband and children for God's glory), I know that God is using me in a mighty way for His ways. I try to live life remembering that, contrary to the purpose driven drivel, it is NOT about me or my desires but how can I bring glory to my LORD and Saviour. I sincerely hope more and more women find that the path of a home school mother is one of great worth. It is like the article said "Mayhaps the West is in for difficult days . . . I could be wrong and Hillary (!) might win, but I would still bet the children of the Beatrice Brigade will prevail in the end." I believe that in the end, what we are doing will make this country a better place, and hopefully the world. It would make it worth it to have endured all the criticism from those that supposedly love me to know that in the end, God used me to be one of the ones that made the best difference of all!
Posted by: Mrs. Damian Garcia | April 6, 2007 6:30 AM
Oh, I can soo relate! After quitting 2 jobs after just a few months when I was recently married, we figured out that it just did NOT work for me to have an outside of the home boss and a husband! I had to still work when I came home, so I do transcription, but my schedule is flexible and I *can* take the time for my husband and move around my working hours as his needs change. Ideally I'd be a SAHM/W, and I'd be better able to fulfill my role as a wife and mom then, but this is working okay for now.
Posted by: Cara | April 6, 2007 9:02 AM
SAHMs I applaud you. I admire you. And, I try not to envy you. My husband is a SAHD, and while I am happy for my boys that they have their dad at home (especially now that they are 12 and 15), I have an ache in my heart over missing so much in their lives. I have a high-powered, executive level job. I am considered by outsiders (and even family and friends) as "successful". I enjoy the people I work with, and I am fortunate to work with some wonderful Christian people (particularly since I work in a non-Christian environment). But, given the choice, I would leave in a second and come home to be with my boys.
My husband and I recently started homeschooling one of our sons. Since I work Tue-Sat, I'm able to homeschool Mondays and also Friday mornings (as I go in later on Fri-Sat). I consider this a privilege. But how my heart yearns to do more...be with them more. And I often feel like I'm failing as a wife. My DH does much of the shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. And, I tend to come home tired, at times crabby, and often laden with more work to do at home.
I have started to pray often for God to open other doors for us / me. I have big dreams to replace (or at least supplement) my income to a point where I can either come home or work at a less-demanding job. The Lord is faithful, and I'm trusting Him to answer this prayer in some way or another.
SAHMs, be proud of what you do. Do not let the "world" tell you that what you do is less valuable than a working woman. In fact, as you already know, what you do have far more value, especially lasting and even eternal value. Praise God for His blessings in your ability to be home for your family.
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle | April 8, 2007 10:05 PM
Spunky is so inspiring, like you, Barbara, as well as many other blogging parents I've come across over the last several years. I now realize that reading experiences and testimonies revolving around the decision and conviction to be a good wife and mother by choosing home does strengthen such a conviction in other women (such as me) to do the same -- when the time arrives. I'm single, but reading the words of these women is truly edifying! My mother is a fine example of how it is to serve one's spouse, but seeing other examples is something else. =)
Posted by: Sunnyday | April 8, 2007 11:09 PM
