Mommy Life

April 25, 2007 1:55 PM

Kids by the Dozen

Tracked down the schedule for repeats of the Kids by the Dozen shows on TLC here.

[7/08/08 Update: This entry - in which I didn't review the show myself (I still have not watched it so cannot comment) - seems to have become a clearinghouse for people's reactions, pro and con, to the Jeub family documentary.

For newcomers to this blog, I am a mother of 12 - including special needs children we've adopted - and also a professional writer. I've blogged for over three years because I love the immediacy of the communication.

To save some of you time, I will tell you up front that I moderate comments at this site. While I do not mind presenting opposing views - in fact I enjoy the discussions we have here - I will not publish comments that ridicule or insult groups of people. So while I publish thoughtful takes on the Jeubs and what people see as their shortcomings (I'll have to make sure I watch it next time), I will not publish remarks that condemn all large families or all families who homeschool.

Most people are not aware that many of our greatest composers and strongest leaders came from big families. Big families have pros and cons. My guess is that TLC shot hours and hours of footage to edit it down to 44 minutes and that we only saw a small part of the reality that is the Jeub family.

I will post something short today and link here for more comments specifically on this issue.

In the meantime, please see Are kids from big families disadvantaged? in which many of my readers commented on the merits of big families.]

Posted in Big families | Permalink

Comments

Thanks for sharing that! I've set my DVR to record it.

Posted by: Michelle Potter | April 26, 2007 8:40 PM

I just finished watching "Kids By the Dozen" featuring the Jeub family and I must say I am so embarrassed for those kids. The mom was actually bragging about getting peoples hand-me-down left on her doorstep! Please tell me that the father was kidding when he said they ate roadkill.

Some people shouldnt be allowed to breed.

Posted by: brooke | May 8, 2007 1:16 AM

Brooke, strangely enough, some people believe that family, love, faith, commitment, etc., are vastly more important than wearing hand-me-down clothes (which by the way, looked nearly brand new) and eating Costco food. Their kids are beautiful and they are far better parents than most.

Posted by: June | May 9, 2007 1:08 AM

June,

I have no problem with hand-me-down clothes. I am one of five children and with two older sisters, I wore a lot of them. My problem was the mother bragging that clothes just show up on her porch and she doesn`t have to spend money. It was a very tacky statement and nothing to brag about, in my opinion. Maybe its how I was raised. I am not comfortable with charity going to those who made the choice to have so many kids they cannot afford to take care of.

Costco food is far different from roadkill, which is what the father laughingly told the camera they dined on at times.

I also took issue with the condemning of a daughter for a lifestyle they didn`t agree with, including an unplanned pregnancy. The mother herself made the same error in judgment not once, but twice. Said child was a product of the error in judgment. How hypocritical is that? It was the daughter who had to initiate a reunion, not the parents.

They are talking about having more children? A uterus is not a clown car. I do apologize if my opinions upset anyone but I stand by my original observation, some people should not be allowed to breed.

Posted by: Brooke | May 9, 2007 7:31 PM

I think the Jeub family, along with all of the others featured on TLC, is wonderful! Brooke, the mother was not bragging about free clothes, she was simply saying that they are one of the many ways God is blessing them for obeying Him and being so open to raising His warriors! God does not give us any more than we can handle. If He thought children were a burden He would have said so. However, He says that children are a blessing. Therefore, I doubt He would tell them that what they are doing is wrong. God welcomes all who want to enter His Kingdom with open arms as His children. He loves the last one as much as the first. It's obvious that the Jeubs feel the same way. I doubt there has ever been anyone that has said they wished they didn't have so many. I personally know that I would love 14 children as much as I could love 1 or 2. You have a right to your opinion and way of life, but don't be so critical of those that think differently than you.

Posted by: mommy 1st | May 15, 2007 12:25 PM

Whoa there Brooke!
"A uterus is not a clown car...some people should not be allowed to breed."
Those statements are far more distasteful than any roadkill joke! And it sounds like typical population control rhetoric. I didn't see the program and don't know the Jeub family but if the things you mentioned are the best criticisms you can muster... big deal! It's
really God who decides how many children they have. The Jeubs aren't hurting anyone. Or perhaps you are ridiculously afraid that another living, breathing soul is going to use up your oxygen. In that case, stop being so puffed up with superiority and we'll all breathe easier!

Posted by: purebillow | May 16, 2007 9:43 AM

I watched the TV show. As one of thirteen (adult, we're 45-62 years old, now) children myself, I'm always interested in stories about big families. I agree with Brooke about the attitude about hand me down clothes, donations and more importantly, the family's condemnation of the oldest daughter. This family appears to be threatened by one of their own having her own identity and choosing her own lifestyle. One of the greatest gifts that I receive and have received my entire life, is the opportunity to intimately know and experience different personalities, interests and lifestyles, to revel in the differences every person brings to the world. How dare they (the Jeubs) condemn one of their own, deny her and her siblings the right and the joy and sometimes pain of sharing their lives? I cannot believe that they actually have titled their book 'Love in the House'. I guess that that's only on the parents' terms.

Posted by: hollyrose | May 20, 2007 5:45 PM

I loved the story of the Jeubs! I can explain about what is meant about eating roadkill. My mother lives in Alaska, and there are numerous times that moose or caribou are killed while crossing the highways during snowstorms and are not seem until too late. When they are struck and killed, a game warden comes there, and the animals (which freeze very quickly) are field dressed right there next to the road. Then, the meat is given to needy families. A moose can weight 1,800 or more pounds, and its delicious meat is very much appreciated, but is jokingly referred to as "road kill", but it is just the same as if it was shot and killed by hunters. I had some "road kill" moose stew while I visited Alaska, and I wish we had a "road kill" program here, haha. I am so impressed how they have taught all their children to pitch in and help with the chores, how they save money, and how they homeschool their kids in a loving Christian environment--I want to have a big family with my husband just like theirs! God bless them all!

Posted by: Kerry Nihart | May 20, 2007 10:48 PM

I saw the episode, and I am fascinated by large families. People who are posting comments about used clothing in my opinion are to selfish and to concerned with what people think to appreciate the love these families must share. Perhaps those are the people that should not breed. The ones who can't teach their children to love unconditonally and to not judge unless you be judged yourself. Its that kind of thinking that is the reason for so many school shootings or suicides. No one wants to be judged on what they wear, or how many kids are in their families. I thought we we're all suppose to teach our kids to do unto others as you would have done unto you.

All the shows that I've seen on TLC that are about large families, I give these families my support. I think its wonderful. These children are not neglected, which is more than I can say about some families with only one or two children. I look forward to seeing more about these families. The world would be a better place if people could just stop be so petty and worry about status and just live their own lives without judgement of others.

Posted by: Suzanne | May 22, 2007 12:53 PM

I saw the TLC show with the Jueb family. I have 10 children, but not quite enough for Kids by the Dozen! Regarding the hand-me-downs, I often get hand me downs and they are great! I give extra clothing away as well. I don't think Mrs. Jueb was being strange in saying bags of clothes show up on her doorstep, she was just saying that God provides and He Does! Isn't that what the Christian life is all about? Trusting that God will provide and then seeing how He does provide? As for the oldest daughter who was choosing the opposite lifestyle that her parents were trying to instill in her, she admitted that she was choosing sinful ways. I think the parents had to let her know that she was not allowed to live at home while pursuing sinful activities. Otherwise what message does that send to their younger children? That it is okay to live sinfully when she was taught otherwise? They still loved her very much, but they must stand for what they believe because children learn not by what we say, but by what we do. In our society, any lifestyle is condoned and people are afraid to stand up for what is the Truth of Christianity. This family stands up for what it believes. I also thought the children were beautiful and the happiness and love they shared was evident. I see families with one or two kids who aren't nearly as happy but dresssed in new stylish clothes. What is better?

Posted by: Julie | May 22, 2007 4:42 PM

Those that are so critical about the rebellious daughter do not understand the idea of separation. As a born again Christian I clearly understand why they had to separate themselves with the daughter. It's similar to the concept of the bad apple in the basket making the good apples go bad. It will happen. Read what the Bible says about separating yourself (as a born again Christian) from people who are actively living sinful lives disobedient to God's word (even if it is your own family). Also, go read the Jeub's web page. They talk about the issue with their daughter and the steps they've made since the show to improve the relationship.

Posted by: BB | May 22, 2007 5:27 PM

Seperate yourselves from your children. People living actively sinful lives. Doesn't really show the love that my God has been teaching me. People make mistakes, you don't turn your back on them. In one of the other postings I do believe I saw that the mother of this family made the same mistake. It happens. They of all people should be more open and understanding to it. If your not perfect your not worth our time or concern. Strange concept I think. We all live our own lives, and I'm sure the family has taught their children the easier path in life. Get married first then have kids, I'm sure they can think for themselves. If not what does that say about the parents. To turn your back on one because of a mistake, again what are you teaching your children. We only want you if you live by our rules and are perfect. Can't fathom that.

Posted by: Suzanne | May 23, 2007 7:25 AM

I saw kids by the dozen the other day. I believe they said they have 13 kids with the oldest 2 out of the house. I know the oldest are hers from a previous relationship. She had the first 1 at 15. She is also like 37 and a grandmother. I didn't catch where they lived but it must be some town where they have no birth control. 13 kids in this day and age is nuts. Also something I have noticed just from talking to people is that if the parents had a child out of wedlock their child is likely to repeat that cycle. Mom had her first at 15 and not married and her 22 year old daughter is not married and has a 2 1/2 year old. It amazes me that with all the free birth control available that this sitll happens.

Posted by: Mo' | May 23, 2007 1:11 PM

The show never really went into why they separated themselves from their daughter. If you really paid attention you would have realized that the daughter got pregnant long after the separation. I have an older sister who is very self destructive. When we were young we all looked up to her and started to act more and more like her. The smartest thing my mother did was separate her from the family.

Posted by: delilah | May 27, 2007 7:09 PM

well, we don't know the real story behind why the daughter isn't there.so, it's safe to say everything here is an assumption.

anyhow, this show is pretty interesting.having that many kids and the family being stable is nice to see.

p.s let ''god'' speak for itself.
what will be,
will be..

Posted by: gnome | June 6, 2007 6:44 AM

I was also upset when I watched the Jueb family episode at first..I don't blame them for keeping their oldest daughter away from the other children, but I felt the mother on the show of all people should have known the love and support their daughter needed in this time of her life, maybe it wasn't the right choice, but she still needed love and support. At that point what's done is done. Overall they seemed like a great family to me. Being an only child with both of my parents deceased when I am only 35 with no children of my own, I only wish I had a large family like that for love and support. I also in no way think Mrs. Jeub was "bragging." I think she was just happy that the community and God are helping her and her family! How lucky she is!

Posted by: lizbth | June 11, 2007 8:23 PM

I think that brooke was being a little harsh. ok i mean a lot. the fact about hand-me-downs and how it sounded "tacky". I have to say i am one of twelve and some of my best clothes are hand-me-downs. i am not saying we don't buy our own clothes, don't get me wrong but it is no shame in taking them. It is how God provides. Also about how "some people shouldn't be allowed to breed"! Who made you God? I love being a part of a big family and i think it very narrow minded of you to say such a thing. God never will give us more than we can handle and he always provides. And Suzanne birth control is not always the solution. as a matter of fact the jueb fam did try to use birth control if i remember correctly, but it didn't work. Besides i believe birth control to be an evil vice; actually in my religion it is looked down upon greatly.

Posted by: Anne | July 2, 2007 1:47 PM

I wanted to let everyone know that the roadkill comment was just a joke.. I asked Mr Jeub about it on their website! Secondly, it's not an issue of lacking birth control methods. Research the term "quiverfull" and you will see the reasoning behind the entire concept of letting God dictate family size. All of the families featured on the show appear to be loving and supportive with strong faith in God. To say terrible things about them is such a pathetic, low blow. We need more decent people out there and I personally don't care where their clothing comes from!

Posted by: Raquel | July 2, 2007 9:35 PM

I personally dont care how many children a family has as long as they can take care of them, which the Jueb family seem to be doing. They seem very loving and supportive of each other.

What I do have a problem with is the fact that the mother has completely abandoned her eldest daughter simply because she followed in her mothers footsteps. My god she had her when she was 15!! How dare her judge her daughter! She is her baby, and I dont care what my daughter did, I could never walk away from her and not look back.

I understand them wanting to set a good example for their other children, but I think that they where cruel. Did they think about how it would affect their other children by taking away their sister? Not to mention that they have a grandchild they dont seem to want to get to know.

As for acccepting charity, I dont think there is anything wrong with that, whether you have 11 kids or just one like I do. I take hand-me-downs from people all the time and I dont think that there is anything I should be ashamed of. Im putting clothes on my child, and thats all that matters. If you are concerned with whether your clothes are new or not, then youre not focusing on whats important.

Posted by: Cassandra | July 17, 2007 9:42 PM

If these families really want to do the lords work that's fine by me but why not adpot some kids that so desperately need good homes? That is the one thing that I notice in all of these stories is that not one family seems to have adopted and saved any children from an awful fate.

Posted by: Maria | July 19, 2007 5:45 PM

I recently found this post in a Google search while looking for the name of the third "Kids By The Dozen" family. (I had found websites for the Juebs and the Heppners, but couldn't remember the Arndts.) I thought in response to the above accusations about the Juebs and their eldest daughter, I'd post this from their website:

What’s the End to the Alicia Story?

Posted at Monday, January 29th, 2007 - By Chris Jeub

Alicia and her parents have come along a great journey of love and reconciliation. You can read about some of it at our January 28, 2007 post, the day we “killed the fatted calf” and had Alicia home.

Our conflict with Alicia was a complex one that lasted nearly three years. She went through a troubling state of rebellion that included a rebellious attitude that was rubbing off on the younger children. As her parents, we decided the best thing for the entire family was to remove her from the family. Her behavior, in our opinion, was destructive not only to herself, but to the entire family.

Since that time, Alicia showed signs of maturing and turning her heart back toward her family. We, however, were less enthusiastic about these signs. Her rebellion of the past included manipulation and pulling at the heartstrings of her siblings, so we were apprehensive about her sincerity. After three years, we simply did not trust her. We tried to set up counseling appointments, but they never seemed to work with our schedules. Alicia became a single mom in these three years so, naturally, time was tight.

When the TLC cameras came, we had intentions to keep this estranged relationship from the viewing. The crew was respectful of that. As the eight days progressed, we opened up to the cameras about Alicia. We felt God nudging us to share this imperfection to TLC and, ultimately, the world. The producer flew back to New York and pitched the story. The studio liked the idea and flew another crew out to film both Alicia and us.

What was displayed on TLC was close to accurate. Hats off to Powderhouse Productions for getting the story so close to the truth. They struggled at times to understand the universality of the Prodigal Son story. The producers were tempted to make this a battle of opinions, who was right and who was wrong, similar to a typical reality television show.

I (Chris) spent over an hour explaining to one of the editors the complexity of the story. He wanted more detail as to what Alicia actually “did” in the past so, in his mind, he could build two cases and let the viewer decide if we were being good parents (or Alicia a good daughter). Through our conversation, I helped him realize that separation is incredibly common and our story could be used to heal relationships. “Don’t you have separation in your life?” I asked him. He admitted yes, and I used his story to show that reconciliation will take much more than convincing anyone of who was right and who was wrong.

In the process of trying to explain our relationship with Alicia, God moved on our hearts to forgive her. It was the most difficult relational journey in our lives. We walked through a lesson on judgment that forced us to realize that we, as Alicia’s parents, were not displaying the love of the father in the story of the Prodigal. We believe we made the right choices in the initial separation between the family and Alicia’s rebellion, but when she started to return to the family, we closed up and put up defenses. I suppose some resistance was reasonable, but we certainly did not swing our arms open and have a party for Alicia’s return.

The TLC producers and editors pressed us on this. “You speak so much of love, but you won’t welcome your oldest daughter back?” Those questions burned in our heart. God showed us, in more situations than with the Alicia situation, that our hearts were hardened and bent toward judgment. We couldn’t help but judge Alicia for her sin. God led us into a deep study of love and relationship, the Greatest Commandment principle, and ultimately leaving judgment to God.

We confessed our shortcoming to Alicia in a couple of meetings. We can’t tell you how incredibly forgiving Alicia was, as well as sorry for her past failings in the conflict. God showed us how He can heal relationships once we surrendered judgment to Him. God will judge Alicia–just as He will judge her parents–not on how accurate our assessments of our actions are, but on how we love one another.

Does this story resonate with you? Separation is in all our lives in one way or another. We go into much more detail in our book, Love in the House, due out in May (more information to be posted soon). The last few chapters go into more detail than the TLC episode and this FAQ post. God worked through all of this to, hopefully, point viewers in the direction of love and reconciliation.

Posted by: Michelle Potter | August 10, 2007 2:02 PM

I have seen the show and have my own opinions on this family. I am a mother myself. Unlike the Jeub's mother, I have the time to be a parent and give my children the attention they need. I can't imagine being one of those children and wondering why Mom and Dad can't give me more time and be more involved in my life. I understand the religious aspects of having so many kids, but in the long run these kids will suffer. I bet none of them have regular weekly sleep overs or shopping trips for the girls. Obviously, the kids will not be able to be involved in sports at school or other activities because of the lack of money. Why torture kids like that? The father also cuts all the kids' hair. When I was a teenager I would have been mortified to walk around with a haircut that my father gave me. My final comment is that it is impossible to give each child what they need in order to assure a great self-esteem, feeling like they fit in, and not feel like they are living in a daycare. My goodness, puppies in cages get more attention that they do. I watched as the mother gave each child a second of her time during the party and basically brushed them all of. The only kids that really got attention were the ones that were still unable to walk. She also ignored the one she was holding. Terrible.
The issue with the daughter that was rejected because of her lifestyle was outrageous! I wonder what God thinks about that? How do they think this will affect her parenting skills as a mother? She will go one way or another. Either she will raise her children as she was or stick to a small family and raise them with attention, feelings of self-worth, and most of all, an individual.

Shame on you, Jeub's.

Posted by: debi | August 20, 2007 10:15 PM

I enjoy most of the large families portrayed on TLC. Most are Christian centered and have a good solid family. To be honest with you there is something wrong with the Jeub family. The father makes my skin crawl. He doesn't have hand me down clothes and also carries a very expensive cell phone. He has a very Jim Jonesy kinda vibe. I can't put my finger on it but there is something just not right. He kicked HER daughter out because he no longer had control over her. PERIOD. Again there is something that doesn't feel right. My gut rarely fails me.

Posted by: Melinda | August 20, 2007 11:10 PM

I agree with Melinda, something about Mr. Jeub makes me feel very uncomfortable, it could be starting with the most basic like, NOT FORSAKING your eldest daughter! Mr. Jeub I think has forgotten to read the New Testament! He mentions the prodigal son in the letter above, the prodigal son's father waited and waited for his return then slaughtered his best calf and threw a celebration honoring the son. I am sure that there will be no celebration, and did anyone notice that Alicia's son did not have blond hair and blue eyes, could this be the rebellion they spoke of, Alicia didn't date a white anglo saxon so they have to shelter their other children from the "unsafe" people????? Alicia sounded very put together and a girl that knows who she is and where she's going, but I heard one sentence that made me feel very sad for her, "when do parents get permission to ABANDON their children"

Posted by: kim | August 21, 2007 2:03 PM

I can understand the family making the daughter move out if she was doing things that the parents couldn't live with but what I couldn't understand was that they broke off all contact with their young daughter. The parents wouldn't even speak to her when she wanted to make amends or had her baby. My guess is that her mother is punishing her for reminding her of her own sins and shortcomings. Very sad, I can't imagine abandoning my young pregnant daughter and not having anything to with my grandson.

Posted by: Dee | August 21, 2007 2:54 PM

Let's please stop being so negative about large families. What about our anscestors who came from very large families? Small families are a relatively new thing. What about all the large families in the Bible? If you are a born again Christian as the Jeubs are you would see large families as a gift from God. God WILL NOT give a mother more than she can handle. I repeat He WILL NOT give a mother or family more than they can handle. Those kids are not deprived either. The have the Christian love of a mother and father regardless if there is one child or 12 children.

If you think their separation from the family is wrong then read the book of Proverbs. It's pretty harsh on the concept of separation. Yes, the mother made the same mistake as a young girl but she is obviously a saved woman now who believes in living as the Bible teaches.

But, this is my opinion. If you are not a born again Christian who attends a bible believing, bible teaching church it will be a hard concept to understand.

Posted by: BB | August 21, 2007 6:40 PM

I watched this show last nite very very late and couldn't quite wrap my mind around the concept - I do wholeheartedly agree with some of the above feelings about the abandonment of the oldest daughter - did seem extremely hypocritical but then again (and sorry to offend anyone) have found a lot of so called "good Christians" amongst the most hypocritical I have ever come across.

I see Mrs.J is now pregnant with her 14th - as the mother of a special needs child who often wondered who decided God can't give you more then you can handle - a hypothetical question. If at any point she had given birth to a handicapped child, would her happy outlook on child rearing change? Would she continue to procreate?

ps - I love my son with my heart and soul

Posted by: Lin | August 21, 2007 8:34 PM

Reading these comments from people about the impossibilities of caring for and loving children if you have a large family, or about the Jeub's perceptions changing if they had had children with disabilities, or about the horrible idea of needing some family separation from a prodigal child.....I really have to wonder if everyone knows what blog they are reading? It doesn't take more than 5 minutes on mommylife to know that large families can be an immense joy, where the children are loved and given everything that they need, and that children who are differently abled don't call to a halt the idea of more children after them.

It also seems that given the posting of the Jeubs where they publicly acknowledge that they should have handled things differently (and what parent hasn't had to come to that conclusion...it is just that most of us haven't done it in front of millions of people) and further explained the idea of the prodigal and reconciliation and all of that that maybe the harshness and judgment of the the original comments could be toned back some.

Normally I am extremely impressed with the caliber of comments made on this site, but the ones on this article just make me rather sad. I can't think that I am the only reader who thinks coming to the blog of a mother of 12 and going on about how horrible it is to have large families is not only tacky, but wrong.

Posted by: tiffany | August 22, 2007 12:47 PM

Just a few questions:

- What is wrong with having a lot of children...If they are respectful, well-behaved, educated, taken care of by their parents and not on governmental support?

- What is wrong with hand me down clothes? Where are all the unwanted clothes we own supposed to go? To the thrift store? I have found some very nice, almost new clothes at thrift stores. So, what is wrong with a family clothing themselves in clothes that another family has outgrown or does not want? It's not embarrassing. Why do kids in America NEED new clothes? I think their kids are quite well clothed even if they are hand me downs. And the mom and dad can get very nice, almost like new clothes that are hand-me downs too.

Posted by: bb | August 22, 2007 6:18 PM

Well maybe a better example than the clothes, because everybody seems to have way too many of those these days, is the example of them being in a grocery store and eating the samples there like it is LUNCH! Remember the part before that the dad only buys 1 pizza for the whole family and afterwards they beg for big enough pieces to feed their kids.

I think it is totally wrong to be dependent on store promotions to feed your kids.

It is the Jeub's choice to have so many children, but it is also their duty to take care of them. Charities are way too often used for large families. Don't use kids to show off you're poor and need money from others.

I think the family is a great and loving family now, what I am curious to see, is how these kids will grow up. Because, when they turn 16, they start to get needs to explore the world and recognize their individuality. I think the individual being does not really match with their family life and therefore I would be curious to see if the kids stay home for a long time or not.

Last, I think it's great for kids to help out with the chores. I had to laugh a bit about changing the diapers and that they get a little ice cream for doing that 5 times in a row. They do respect gifts. Though I do think there is a mom responsibility here - don't leave cleaning your kids to 14 year olds, that ruins their childhood, because they are begin moms now too.

As for the kids bathroom - I hope I did not see that right, but the toilet is disgusting... buy some Javex and clean it yourself, parents!

Posted by: Sascha | August 23, 2007 9:59 AM

The toilet was horrible! It was worse than if you had poured chili in it and left it sit out in the sun for days. I also don't get why they kicked the oldest daughter out for having a boyfriend. What religion are these people? This just makes me sad. I'm sure the kids (the ones they love) will grow up fine, and have many, many babies, but the two that are not the father's -- what kind of compassion is that? It is people like this that make Christians look bad to the rest of the world. How soon before this family makes Cynthia wear a burka? I mean, seriously!

Posted by: Lori | August 23, 2007 9:29 PM

I just by chance saw a show about this family and came online and checked google to see if I could find some contact info on them and came across this site in the process and I have to say all you people passing judgment make me sick! There's so much more to this family than you all seen on a few tv shows. Them choosing to have a large family and how their family live their lives doesn't have any real effect on any of you people so why do you care? Why come on here and viciously attack them? Every family has issues or "skeletons in the closet" including every single person on this site passing judgment!!! This family shared their story and are proud of their family. They will work out their issues when the time is right for them and do it how it best suits them not all of you!!!

Posted by: Tabitha | August 27, 2007 10:39 PM

I just watched this program on TLC and while I am fascinated by the large families (my Great Grandmother was one of 15) I have a problem with people having so many children in a world where there are children that no one wants. There are thousands upon thousands of children in orphanages and foster homes that no one wants to take in and yet these people keep breeding. And personally I don't think, just by watching, that they can possibly give the parenting and attention to each child that the children deserve. They are relying on the older children to practically raise the younger ones.
I have nothing against hand me down clothing, the first few years of my son's life (I only have 2) they got almost all their clothes from their cousin. I'm all for saving in the clothes department especially when the kids are small and grow out of things so quickly.
Admittedly the one I don't grasp is how they manage to feed them all. My husband makes a very good living and it is difficult to keep up with everyday things like milk and bread with just a family of 4. Especially with the prices of things.
As a woman who got pregnant out of wedlock and was shunned by many people I can sympathize with the oldest daughter. From the sound of it (and no, I've not seen their actual website yet) all was fine and good as long as she did everything they told her and didn't have a mind of her own. One thing that I have found, from experience, is that you can be taught how to do everything the "right" way but everyone is going to have to learn to live their own lives and make their own mistakes at some point. To totally push a child out because they didn't do things the way you felt they should isn't fair. And how can they not have contact with their grandchild? My Mother didn't have any contact with mine for several years and she said it tore her up and she, now, can't imagine not being a part of their lives even though we don't see her much because of living in separate states.
I do agree with one of the above posters, and let me just state that I AM a Christian and have been all my life, but it seems like it's often the "good christians" that treat people like they treated their daughter. And all the people I've seen having these huge families have been Christian. I was raised a Christian and yet I do believe in birth control. Anyway, if they were truly good Christian people they would have stood by their daughter and helped her through her tough times rather than just kicking her out.
This is all simply MY opinion. I just believe that it is irresponsible to have so many children in this day and age.

Posted by: Chantel | September 9, 2007 4:32 PM

All I can say is that I am appalled at the many narrow and self-promoting beliefs expressed against the Juebs that are reflected in many of these posts. If you had an "adult" child living in your home, doing things that were detrimental to herself and your younger children, would you continue to allow them to live at home? What none of you failed to mention was that the daughter felt there was nothing wrong in her behavior and had no plans of changing. The daughter wanted a lifestyle, with no regrets, by the way, that was counter to their Biblical beliefs. The Juebs found an alternative living arrangement for their daughter and did not kick her out on the street. Her pregnancy came later and was not a factor in her needing to leave. Now the Juebs were brought to realize that their lack of forgiveness was wrong and have humbly come forward and apologized to their daughter....how wonderful is that?
As far as providing for so many children....I know many small "spoiled" families that consume much more and have such feelings of entitlement...actually there is a reflection of this in some of the posters here.

Posted by: Joanne | September 16, 2007 6:27 PM

What a beautiful family, I was completely in awe of how collected she was and what a hard worker. Ok, I think the dad could get a real job ( I admit, I am not religious but each to there own) but those kids were polite and well behaved and loved. It was great to see a family that was in touch with each other rather than "things".

Posted by: Sarah in Oz | September 21, 2007 8:41 AM

just in looking at a lot of the previous comments ,

i just was thinking why is it, that just because this family has been featured on tv and in the spotlight, that we think they must be perfect???

I know you really don't think that but by your comments , it seems like you have some weird perfect expectations for them.
they are people loved by God and saved by grace, we all make mistakes and there is forgiveness in that. Please don't be so quick to judge them in their daughters situation and anything else In making all the comments about their children, have you ever done something wrong or feel that you failed as a parent? i have. lets get real people! If you are a christian, the bible talks of the race we run together. We run this race in life together as the family of God. some people fall, and we do too, but we help them up, teach and encourage each other to keep going despite it, We have not arrived but God works on us, as we are all works in progress. So what im saying :get real, allow these people to NOT be the perfect people on a pedestal that you expect them to be!

Posted by: kelly | September 21, 2007 1:12 PM

I think its strange that no one has commented on the education of these children. I have watched all three families on this program, and only one family sent their children away from home to pursue further education. How can these children become ready for college or jobs if they are being taught at home by only one person? With this large age gap, the mom cannot have enough time to fully master the information she needs to teach the older children, they are completely on their own to get an education.
Although I do agree these kids are loved, I cannot believe that this is the best situation for them. While accepting hand me down clothes and budgeting on trivial things like that does affect a childs future, budgeting on education I believe is unacceptable.

Posted by: Becca | September 21, 2007 1:38 PM

The Jeubs and Heppners are wonderful families who serve as inspiration to many of us. I don't have a problem with second-hand clothing (I wear it too, and I am a grandma!) or with low-cost grocery shopping (grandpa and I live on $50 per week for groceries). Nor do I have a problem with home-schooling. I do like that the Jeubs go to a real church, not one at home like the Duggars and Arndts.
The Duggars are presented as a family too slick to be true. The Jeubs seem like normal people..... with a lot of kids!

Posted by: Nancy Jones | September 30, 2007 4:03 PM

This is for Anne. I was just reading over your comment about birth control being some sort of evil vice. First thing I want to say is. It was not me who posted the comment about birth control. Your name is at the bottom of the post. And second Birth control is not evil. Look at all the children and I mean 12 year olds having kids. Its time to get it more out there. To each his own and do not judge unless you be judged as well.

Posted by: Suzanne | October 1, 2007 2:31 PM

I love hand me downs... my kids wear it too. so what is your problem. Just cause these families like mine are happy you still have to act the age of your shoes to behave like that.

Posted by: Krista | October 22, 2007 11:18 PM

The problem with people nowadays is they are so self righteous and very selfish and they don't care about anyone or anything except for themselves and they will say and do anything to make themselves look and feel better. God didnt make junk, and as a christian, I don't think that anyone has a right to judge the way people live.. People are so worried about the outside, when it's the inside that counts.

Posted by: kk | October 22, 2007 11:26 PM

The Juebs according to their website do not have health insurance! They rely on their church to give them money to pay for medical costs! That is very disturbing! And how scary is it that they ride around in a converted bus with a lot of the kids not secured! They live near Colorado springs CO a very busy city. Not exactly wise! The dad does seem a little 'odd'..

Posted by: Tracie | October 23, 2007 2:42 AM

What a lovely series this is! Kudos to these families for being so brave and self-sacrificing to have such big families.

As for the hate-filled comments on this site, I think many of these folks are being clouded by their own fear. It's intimidating that such women and men seem so calm in the face of such parenting tasks, while I am frazzled by only two young children.

As for the ugly comments about "breeding", I'm curious how those posters feel about invitro fertilization. Surely, you recognize how truly SELFISH that process it. Spending such a large sum of money on a process that is only about using science to recreate your own self, or carry on your blood.

Truly, these large families are amazing. The parents are giving these kids so much. The relationships the children will have with each other will far outlive those with their parents or spouses. I can't imagine how awesome it would be to be a part of these families. To have so many friends, someone to call or hang out with anytime would be awesome.

As for what these kids aren't receiving with regards to material goods, who cares???? We live in a county where Americans spend more than they make. We have a negative savings rate!!!! Who cares if the kids don't have the newest clothes and toys??? They have each other and the emotional intelligence (EQ) that they'll gain from such a life will carry them far. How better to prepare for real-life than by truly living the spirit of team work every day of their lives.

Posted by: Lisa A | November 6, 2007 5:52 PM

Just a short comment to those who are criticizing families for choosing to have so many children when there are children around the world needing loving families - have you looked into adoption and foster care???? I have done both - foster parent for five years - children who come and go, back to destructive families, into unsafe environments, very hard on the entire foster family - we have lost several children that are forever parts of our lives because they have been returned. Just so you face the realities. Fostering is a wonderful thing, but it is far from easy, and the risk for loss is enormous even if you plan from the start to only foster, not to adopt. You must love these children, and one day you will no longer know them. It is few and far between the foster families who ever have contact with the children they cared for for a long time. Again, personal experience.

And, we wanted a larger family and chose to add by adoption, hoping to eventually be there for many children who need us. Have you checked out the costs of adoption????? We have been so very blessed to add two boys, older boys from Ethiopia, who we did "rescue" if that is the way you want to put it, to our family, now a total of five children. Well, $30,000 later they are here. Not that it isn't worth every dime, but even with receiving grants - there are a few out there to add to what you have, but only a few, and doing fundraisers, selling whatever we didn't need, we still ended up cashing in a retirement account to complete the adoption. Following the adoption reimbursement that my husband's company does, we came out only in the "hole" about $14,000. That is fine, it was not a loan, and I am so happy with our decision, and God truly worked in a miraculous way. But, I don't know many families who would or have done the same. We attend a large church, with many affluent families. None of those families have adopted. In our church, I know of five, including mine and another couple who adopted friends of my sons (we did it together). So, we can be judgemental about adopting children who need a home and family, but I see very few people helping, either doing it, or helping those who want to and are well able to raise the children. My husband is well employed, with great insurance, and I am blessed to be a SAHM to my wonderful crew, but, but!!!! while we are well able to raise the children well (not with the newest of everything or every selfish thing they and we think of!) the costs of the adoption will influence whether we can do so again. I notice that those who criticize those who have large birth families, based on the judgement that there are so many children in the world who need families, would never in a million years sacrifice their comfort at all to take in one of these same children. I pray that I am wrong, but I see repeatedly that I am not. I don't understand this mindset, but that is particularly because it is something I have done.

I love raising my children in security, and family love, and even with the number we have, only five, I know that there is an abundance of time and love for all, though there are times I must work at it or attend to the child who needs it the most at that particular moment. My "homegrown" children and my "Ehtiopian born" children are a huge blessing, and I would love to add to that blessing through adoption, but that may not be possible. The costs of adoption are astronomical, and ours was relatively less expensive than most. That is so very sad. I will work to help other families afford adoption, even if it is just sharing my story.

Posted by: christy | November 8, 2007 4:09 PM

I am usually a big fan of these TLC shows depicting large families...and I must admit, I had a very negative opinion of the Duggars until I watched the program on them on TLC.

Unfortunately, I was very disturbed while watching the TLC story on the Jeubs. First of all, how dare a mother who got "knocked up" twice have the close-minded opinion she does on her own daughter? I understand throwing her out of the house; if she was destructive and doing drugs she should be separated from the younger kids, afterall she was over 18yo at the time. People make mistakes, the mother did...someone gave her a second chance. My other issue with the daughter, is I feel she was shunned in large part to differing religious beliefs and wanting to be an independent woman, NOT some secretive truly "destructive" behavior.

Of all the families highlighted on TLC, this family seems to be the least together. How are these poor children being educated? Their home is a pigsty...the children are forced to sleep in beds together and live in filth as far as I can see. The mother just doesn't seem put together. I feel very sorry for these children and wonder what hope they have for a bright future.

Posted by: melanie | January 21, 2008 2:12 PM

Actually my kids had the day off school today and we happened to tune into the marathon they had today. I was amazed by these families. I thought perhaps they should be taking the roll-calls BEFORE they pulled out of the driveway to be sure no one was left behind, but other than that the only family I had issue with was the White family.
Not because of the way the family lived....not because of the size....but because of the dynamics of the husband&wife. They loved each other but the dad was so flighty that it would be hard to live like that--it put a LOT of pressure on the oldest son to keep the business running smoothly (and now the daughters with the boutique), but the mother getting on his case like that was not helping either-all that does is breed disrespect amongst the kids (never air your issues in front of the kids unless you can do it in a civil manner...she was anything but civil)...and sometimes I got the feeling that he purposely did the things he did (going off into the woods, setting up the recording session, setting the date of the store opening) just to get under her skin-be it consciously or sub-consciously; after watching them I wondered if I hadn't seen them on another reality show like "Wife Swap"...my oldest daughter thought so too. Does anyone know if tney have appeared on other shows?
The one thing I did notice among the families I saw was very little squabbling amongst the kids.
Now I've seen a lot of mean spirited comments on this list. But the ones that really stuck out as HATEFUL were the ones that dealt with birth control and the size of these families.
Woman's Choice...It Her Body...etc these are all slogans that people throw around these days--so why doesn't it apply to these women? Their husband's did not tie them down, inseminate them, and then lock them away from the world forcing them to have these babies--it was a WOMAN'S CHOICE.
C'mon people, I will tell you the same thing I tell my kids when they get into the snitching-mood--the nose you should be worried about it your OWN!
I would like to see them have some families (are they still doing the series?) that aren't so religiously based though or of some other religion than christian--the episodes I saw made it looked like only christians have big families.

Posted by: Ginger | January 22, 2008 12:09 AM

Wow... those of you with ZERO understanding of large family dynamics sure have a lot more to say than you have knowledge. I'm a mother of a large family as are these folks. :o) We also are estranged from one of our older daughters as well as an older son. We are NOT religous so our situation has ZERO to do with religion, rather doing what was best for the whole. I'm saddened of course but certainly not regretful for not sacrificing the many other children for the sake of one. Those are tough calls but sometimes they indeed are essential.
I don't believe that being their mother makes me obligated to lay down and allow them to abuse me OR their other family members. We can love our children yet not approve of their behaviors, nor are we obligated to support their behaviors. Yes, at times we may need to walk away from them. I'm sure there are some who are able to bring the family back together, and others who are not.
I wouldn't be so quick to "call someone out" when you can't empathize with the situation.

Now, on to the issue of "hand me downs"... I gladly received them as well as gladly handed them down the road myself. Whether you have one child or 15 children, a hand me down is a hand me down. Pretty arrogant to assume that parents of large families expect others to provide clothing for their children, don't you think? We purchased our childrens clothing ourselves, NEVERTHELESS the hand me downs still showed up on our doorstep. Have you never had a bag of clothing that you were finished with and needed/wanted to find a new home for??? I have... The next family that had children were a welcomed sight to me. :o) People enjoy giving...I know that I do... People enjoy sharing when they're able to share, especially with someone they like. :o) I know I do....

I'd really love to have the time to find the statistics of criminals who came from a large family. I'm pretty sure that you'd find that children who were "doted" on have a much more difficult time in society than do children who've learned quickly that the world can't always turn for them.
Needs are met in large families. Believe that.... It may not always be by the parent(s) but by that childs caring siblings. THAT in itself says much.

If I had it to do over again, I'd not pass it up. I had our first child at 16 yrs old and managed to raise all of ours without a single issue with drug use, smoking, drinking (none of them appreciate the taste of a beer nor wine),pregnancy...etc..
We taught them all at home (unschool NOT homeschool) until they went on to the University to further pursue a degree in their interest(s).
One is currently in Pre-Med and one in Law school. Not too bad for a huge "unschooling" family, according to our society's arrogant/ignorant standards anyway.

Posted by: Kalista | January 23, 2008 8:49 PM

Kalista-
was fascinated by your letter. Could you explain the difference between "unschool" and "home-school"? The term "unschool" is throwing me completely.

Thanks,
Ginger

Posted by: Ginger | January 25, 2008 5:51 PM

as far as adoption goes...we've adopted 7 children after having 3 birth children. paying 30,000 is outrageous...and going to Ethiopia seems even more so (sorry, I'm sure your children are lovely), we have paid out not one penny to adopt, we've adopted children that were waiting for homes. A 4 year old boy and later an 18 month old boy and still again a sibling group of 4 with the youngest coming at age 8 days,after we got the 2, 4, and 6 year old...birth mom keeps having more. Now again this past year we adopted a birth sister of the 18 month we adopted 8 years ago, she was 7 weeks. We get lots of hand me downs..although not enough :), so the thrift store is frequented regularly. Large families are different..not bad...just different.

Posted by: Jane | January 31, 2008 11:21 PM

For those who do not understand the statement "roadkill"...here in Colorado there
are many folks who hunt and many that have
licenses to take recently hit deer and elk
that have minimal damage to them. These animals are often crossing the road and have their heads hit with nothing else wrong with the rest of them.
It is freezing here at night in the winter and people are always getting into car accidents with these large animals. If nobody wants to claim an animal after a recent accident, it can go to someone that has a licence for it. There is nothing wrong with freshly killed meat that was killed by a car. What is the difference between shooting the animal or having it hit by a car?
I just wanted to clear up that they were probably not referring to rotten roadkill that they scraped up off the road. If you lived in CO you would know what he was talking about.
His joke does not make sense to someone living in New York city.

Posted by: Brigid | March 6, 2008 10:22 PM

Sometimes, we end up with more hand me downs than we know what to do with. I've given bags and bags away, sometimes I don't even open them because we already have enough.

As for the bus... kids ride school buses everyday unsecured. They are designed for that.

I do agree that the Whites were strange - painting their feet instead of wearing shoes kind of misses the point that shoes are to protect your feet and protect others FROM your feet... but how awesome were those girls who basically started a business on their own from scratch?

Posted by: Milehimama | March 7, 2008 12:43 AM

People are so judgmental. E-V-E-R-Y-
O-N-E has drama and trauma in their lives. Some are more open and honest than others, but we all struggle at some point and time. People are not in a position to judge others. Only GOD can do this and if people would stop being so self righteous, they would be happier and less embarrassed when their skeleton came falling out of their closet.

Posted by: Gina | March 7, 2008 7:31 AM

To each his own I guess. I'm happy with just one but i do enjoy watching these shows about super sized familys (can't get enough of the Duggars). Not something I'd want to do but more power to them I guess. Don't alwasy agree with ever thing I see but who am I to judge.

check out my LJ for the Duggars!

http://community.livejournal.com/theduggars/2002.html

Posted by: Rachel | May 9, 2008 3:19 PM

Wow! Some people sure have a lot of comments about issues they cannot relate to. I don't have a huge family, but I am one of 5 children. Hand-me-downs were a must. My mom received clothes from women from our church, and she gave clothes as well when we grew out of them. There is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs. God will provide in whatever way He feels.

The same goes with large families in general. If a woman has 1, 2 or 14 kids, that is God's plan. Who are we to tell someone they have too many kids. For those of who said that these families should adopt instead of having their own children...are YOU adopting children who don't have homes?

I agree with the Jeubs decision about the oldest daughter. What I am reading from these comments is that the parents kicked their daughter out of the house because she had a baby out of wedlock. That is not true. Obviously you did not watch or listen to the show at all. The daughter was living a sinnful and rebellious life. If you are a born-again Christian, you understand why the parents had to seperate themselves and their family from the oldest daughter. God says to seperate yourself from those who refuse to repent and obey His word, even if that person is a member of your family. The mother is not a hypocrite. She asked for God's forgiveness and she shouldn't be judged by others for her past decisions because God forgave and has fogotten those decisions. Her daughter did not ask for forgiveness. I know this may seem hypocritical, but that is how they chose to deal with their child. We are not to judge the decisions of others. God will be the Judge of all.

Posted by: Jennifer | July 1, 2008 1:06 AM

"What about our anscestors who came from very large families? Small families are a relatively new thing. What about all the large families in the Bible? "

You have to remember that many of the children died early, so while they may have had 12 or more children, less than half of them would have made it to adulthood. Even fewer in biblical times.
They also needed more children to help with making a living. The more kids you had, the more crops you could plant and harvest.
I do feel if they can afford to raise all those kids on their own go for it, but if they can't then they should not have them.

Posted by: Roxanne | July 3, 2008 11:08 PM

The smaller children seem to have a very limited vocabulary and personality compared to children of other large families such as the Gosslins. Neglected much?

Posted by: Emma | July 7, 2008 11:50 PM

I just watched a replay of Kids by the Dozen "The Jeub Family". Everyone talks about it being ok for them to have 13 children as long as they can take care of them. Is it only me, or did someone else notice how disgustingly dirty the toilets were? The first one they showed was dirty around the sides of the bowl, but the "boys" bathroom had brown/black water. With toilets that dirty, how can anyone say they are taking good care of those kids??

Posted by: Aryn | July 7, 2008 11:50 PM

I feel horrible for these kids! While I do support large families, especially families with strong loving bonds, the Jeubs aren't it. I don't like how they are bragging about how cheap they are, the mom almost makes it seem trashy. I also don't understand the need to home school the children. The kids need to have some outside stimulation or else once they get to the real world, they're going to be so lost! From the roadkill comment, the converted school bus to the outcasting of the oldest daughter, the Jeubs are ridiculous!

Posted by: Joelle | July 7, 2008 11:50 PM

I'm curious about how few comments there have been about the Jeub's homeschooling. Does nobody else see a problem there? As someone who works in education, I was horrified by the "teaching" the mother was giving to her kids. Unorganized collective teaching of so many children of different ages, casually reading out from a book... that is not an education by any means.

Ack I don't know - there is just something really offputting about this family.

Posted by: Miranda | July 7, 2008 11:58 PM

It didn't tempt me to have such an enourmous family at all!
The father is a dictator himself and the mother...poor woman!
I don't think the children will have problems because they don't get the chance to go shopping or experience other kinds of foods. The big problem they could have is not being open minded and able to live in the real world when they reach their adulthood.

Posted by: Adri | July 8, 2008 12:32 AM

I am very concerned about the exact nature of the Jeub parent's relationship with Alicia.

Why didn't they explain further what her exact "sin" was?

Was it because Alicia's son (who obviously looks to be racially mixed) looks different from the rest of the family? Is this family white nationalists?

And what "unsafe" people was Alicia's mom referring to? Are they "unsafe" simply because of their race or something else?

I'd hate to think this family is using their religion to judge others simply because of the color of their skin (and yes, plenty of so-called "Christians" adhere to the belief of racial superiority being supported in the Bible).

God loves us all and doesn't believe one group to be any better than another group.

We're all the same underneath.

Posted by: AC | July 8, 2008 12:52 AM

I just happened to see a repeat of the show last night. I see nothing wrong with having a large family if you take care of the children - and the Jeubs are doing that. There is nothing wrong with people giving you hand-me-down clothes and using them and nothing wrong with hunting for bargains. Most American families could learn something from the Jeubs anti-materialism. Having lots of stuff does not necessarily make a person happy - as many, many people have learned the hard way! Also, there is nothing odd about older children having differences with their parents way of life and going off on their own and maybe even becoming estranged from their families - this happens all the time in all kinds of families. The younger children seem happy, well- adjusted and remarkably well-behaved. Children do not need a frenetic life that revolves around driving them to multiple activities - I have found it ends up meaning very little. Children need to spend more time doing things with their families. I have two teenage children and I actually wish I had not gotten them involved in sports. It is too time consuming and competitive nowadays, when it should be fun and a way to learn how to work with other people on a team. The music lessons I sent them to; I have no regrets about though, I'd do more of that. That's one area in which I think the Jeub children are being deprived - also art. It doesn't seem they are getting much art instruction. The older ones should be in public school - are those parents capable of teaching higher level math and science? I doubt it and people need that - this is not the 19th century.

That said, the Jeubs are very, very lucky that their children are so healthy - otherwise they could find themselves in a nightmare situation. Also, I would be very interested to see what that household is like once the majority of the kids in it are teenagers. I think it will be a very different place and a much more difficult situation to manage, especially with their very conservative, obviously fundalmentalist Christian views. The could get a lot of rebellion at that point and the lack of privacy - for all those teenagers - yikes!! They'll really need a much bigger house!

Posted by: GA | July 8, 2008 10:14 AM

debi,

I doubt that weekly sleepovers and girl's shopping trips = good parenting !!! LOL You must be a fulltime working mom, you sound like my sister trying to make yourself feel better for not spending time with your child . . .
You people make me sick. Whatever happened to tolerance ? Oh yeah, that's only if your gay or single and sleeping around, I forgot.

Shame on you debi for getting older but not growing up !!

Posted by: d | July 8, 2008 12:59 PM

I watched the show last night and I am very upset. They bought one large pizza for all of them and considered the free samples as part of their lunch! This is an example of extremely bad manners.The situation with the eldest daughter and grandson is terrible; you could tell that adorable little boy did not even know his grandma, and perhaps that is for the best!
The father gives me the willies. Something is not right with him. They live off the charity of others, and yet his cell phone is very expensive and his clothes are nice.

Those poor kids. Like I said, I am very upset by the show last night.

Posted by: Becca | July 8, 2008 3:24 PM

I recently watched the Jeubs on TLC and I must say, I was disappointed in this family. I was NOT disappointed because they use hand me downs or because they were trying to eat free samples in a store as a meal.

Being a teacher, what I WAS HIGHLY disappointed about was their treatment of their eldest daughter and their childrens education. Being a teacher, it looks like the daughter was acting out because she was needing/wanting attention from her parents. Attention, which I am sure she probably doesn't get. Rather than trying to listen to their daughter, figure out the cause to her behavior, and developing a solution they completely disowned her making her feel unloved, unwanted and completely alone. I don't care how many children you have, you should NEVER do that to your child.

Furthermore, after watching an education session, it was VERY apparent that these children are not receiving the education they need. The little kids, who should be learning the ABC, counting and how to read, were coloring in a coloring book!! Where is the education in that. She is doing a great dis service to her children by thinking she can properly educate them. I realize that they wanted to do homeschooling because they saw they great effects it had on a family friend. But Im sure that friend wasn't trying to teach 13 children at different developmental levels all at once!!! As a teacher, this is frustrating and sad to see.

Also, It does worry me tremendously that these children have no health insurance. These parents need to take responsibility. I have no problem whatsoever with having large families, but if you choose to have a large family you NEED to provide for them and that INCLUDES health care. Do they not realize they have government healthcare services available?

I watch all those TLC shows and I have NEVER had a problem with any of the families UNTIL I watched the Jeubs. They are truly irresponsible parents.

Posted by: Emily | July 8, 2008 3:44 PM

One thing that no one has seemed to mention is the fact that their 14 year old daughter is Dad's Admin Assistant....

Also, how in the world can Dad have 3 companies, still be making under 40K and then make the statement in the episode that he wants to "role model business skills for his kids". I dont get the feeling that he is the best role model for that!!!

Posted by: Sarah | July 8, 2008 10:43 PM

Emily, thats a very good point. What about child labor laws. Instead of the little girl being in school (home school or public school) she is working! Yikes!

Posted by: Becca | July 9, 2008 1:59 PM

I watched the show on the Jeubs today and I was totally disgusted. Not only by the way their toilet looked but by the overall attitude of the parents. They are proud of the fact that they are not on welfare but do not pay for any of their childrens clothes. They just wait for it to be dropped off by people who just dump it on their porch!!! Then they again rely on other people to provide their children with health care because they do not have insurance. And then they spend a little 8 bucks for one pizza just to tease the kids with something and then try to fill them up with free samples! They have their other kids change baby diapers and then give them ice cream as a reward for doing the parents job. Basically everyone else is taking care of their children except for them. They personally buy their children one outfit a year. I am lucky if I can go a week without buying some type of clothing for my kids. Me and my husband have 4 kids and actually work for everything that we have and everything that our children have. And if we could not afford our children with everything life has to offer we would not of had 4. Its called responsible parenting. Then to oust their eldest daughter for getting pregnant young or whatever it was was crazy when the mother is no better and started having children at 15. Their daughter was an adult when her son was born and she has a good head on her shoulders! The reason that they didnt want to go into specifics about what happened with their daughter was most likely because she has a mixed child and they are racist! They should be ashamed of themselves!

Posted by: Rikki | July 10, 2008 2:28 AM

I'm not a religious person, so maybe I don't understand the mentality, but did anyone else notice how cult-like this family was? The series seems to center around Christians, or maybe that's just where most large families come from these days. I'm fine with that, most of the other families seem pretty with it, but these people just seemed... off.
I agree with some of the previous comments that the father is just too creepy. There is just something not right there. The family seems like his own personal, built-in cult, and the eldest daughter is a prime example of what happens when a sheep strays from the flock. It's exactly what larger-scale cults do when they have a dissenter or someone questioning the Faith - chuck 'em out and cut off connection with the rest.

In their defense, I come from a large family of 9 (7 natural, 2 adopted), and people who say that there's no way for children to have a happy life as part of a big family don't know what they're talking about. We're all in our 20's and 30's now, and all of us are loved, educated, well-adjusted, and maintain good relationships with our parents. It all depends on how the kids are raised - just like in every other family. That said, I admit my experience was very different from most of these featured families in that we were not religious, brought up in normal schools, and my family was never pressed for money.

It just sickens me that these children are being kept in a home and treated like cult-objects. Homeschooling is great - if you know what you're doing, that is. This isn't the case here.The mother is completely out to lunch. The cheese fell of her cracker a loooonnngg time ago.

Another question: if they're scraping by on store samples, how do they expect to send their kids to university? Or do they discourage that form of education too, lest it lead the sheep to question the shepherd?
I feel sorry for these kids. Some of them seemed bright, and it's a shame that that's going to go to waste for lack of education and being essentially brainwashed.

Posted by: Theo | July 11, 2008 3:42 AM

I caught this show right before the new episode of Jon & Kate plus 8. What a contrast! I'm a bit disadvantaged because I only watched 30 minutes of it, but it was 30 minutes that I had a tough time sitting through. It was like watching a train wreck: it's disturbing, but you can't pull yourself away from it! Perhaps what bothered me the most was in the last five minutes. As these parents were talking about having more children, TLC cut to scenes of the children, and all I saw were kids wearing dirty clothes with greasy hair hanging from the trampoline (unsafe), and kids having what seemed to be a Tupperware fight in the kitchen. I felt uncomfortable the whole time, as if something was just not right. Homeschooling for a long period of time has always bothered me. I don't agree with homeschooling kids during high school because high school gives children a chance to grow socially. This family just bothered me and I'm relieved to see that a majority of bloggers feel the same way.

PS: I am not against large families; I commend the Gosselin family and watch their show religiously. However, a big part of my appreciation for their family comes from them trying to be "normal" and do "normal family things" ie: they plan on putting their children through regular schooling and they do make sure their children get interaction from other kids their age.

Posted by: Sara | July 11, 2008 2:49 PM

I'm from a family of 10 kids. We went to public school where we were taught that the world is overpopulated and nobody should have many kids. I felt they were telling me that because I was 8th, I should never have been born. However, I know the value of big families, and that value showed itself strongly in January of 2005 when my mother passed away. What tremendous support there was! I don't know how I'd have handled it without my brothers and sisters. And each of us had had our own, special relationship with her.

I homeschooled my own children for a while, and during that time I was part of a homeschool support group. One of the members the first year I was in the group was a lady who had, at that time, eight children, who became pregnant with her ninth around the time that one of her children was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I not only prayed for the child, but also that the mother would be protected from bad comments from people who didn't understand large families.

I didn't agree with everything I saw on the show about the Jeub family, but I don't have to. They don't answer to me. They looked like a family I would enjoy being friends with if I were to ever have the opportunity to meet them.

Posted by: Annie | July 13, 2008 3:05 AM

Tis so easy for us all to stand in judgment! I have been married 19 years, mother of three, foster Mother of five. I am full time nurse, we home school our three and the foster kiddo's go to public school . We buy clothes, wear hand me downs, play sports,eat out at nice restaurants, buy pizza at Sam's and munch on the free sample's. Can I stand in judgment? God Bless them and their family! Any time a parent stands firm on Godly principle's they are judged! We see what "winking" at sin has gotten our world into! I applaud a family that will stand up for what is right and make a change in our world.

Posted by: Tara | August 2, 2008 5:49 AM

To wrap up this discussion which I have greatly enjoyed reading, I have a few things to say:

Individuality: Well, here I am. I'm the daughter, and I went online and found this, read it, and am responding without parental consent. That's something to say for the individual opportunities my family has to offer.

Dad "odd": That's a first, and I've read a lot of criticism on our show. Understand that I'm biased, but my dad has always been a loving mentor to me. On his cutting our hair, he asked a friend who is a professional stylist to teach him the basics and he bought a hair cutting kit. He also regularly takes my siblings in for special haircuts that are too complicated for him. Cell phone: not sure. He needs one for his business, and has told me that he's open to helping me buy a car or phone if I think I need one. On making me his secretary: First of all, he asked me if I wanted to. I have way more opportunities than any of my peers because of my knowledge and experience in software, customer service, and communication. When I was nine, he asked me if I would like to know the basics of business. I could have said no, it was totally up to me. But by choosing to learn from him--Oh and he has his MBA--I advanced a ton. He's unique in the way that he values service. From the beginning, he told me that the customer is always right. I made a lot of mistakes-like sending people the wrong books-but there was no better way for me to learn. I get paid above minimum wage, and am still learning all the time.

Education: My parents are very interested in our education and have talked to me a lot about college. My dad has a degree in English and taught in the public schools for eight years. Neither of them would claim that we've had a perfect education, but can any school or any teacher claim that? The best way to learn is to teach, and they're improving as they go along. I really appreciate the fact that our shortcomings are noticed by other teachers. Please email us through our website and give us positive input on education.

Healthcare:(This is starting to look like a campaign policy list) Yes, we have insurance. It's not a typical company, but like any other we have to make monthly payments and our needs are met.

Food: The pizza and snacks at Sam's club was just as much a joke as the roadkill. We're never "teased" with hunger at the store, and our pantry is ALWAYS full.

Spending: The clothes issue was talked about WAY too much here. It's been covered. However, a lot of people wonder why my mom is proud about her frugal spending. She's proud because it's taken her a lot of studying to get the most for her money. That doesn't mean that we don't make enough, it means that my mom is concerned about all the areas of our diet like health and taste as well as cost. We're good friends with Ellie Kay, America's leading financial expert. Nobody criticizes her for not making enough, instead they try to gather her tips so they can save.

Attention: I suppose it did seem that mom didn't give us too much attention on the day of the birthday bash. It is hard to do so on busy days. However, each child has different interests and my parents have worked hard to respect and support that. Noah, who is now 10, had a week of training in gymnastics this past year and excelled. Lydia made it to the national level of competition in speech. These talents would not be recognized in my siblings by ignorant parents.

Alicia: I'm sure all of you were waiting for this one. No, we're not racist and unfortunately the entire story had not been played out when our show aired. I have two best friends, one of which is African-American, and I have absolutely no problem with that. We didn't expect Alicia to be perfect and fit a cookie cutter. If you watch the show, it says that we tried to reconcile with our pastor and Alicia pulled out. Dad and mom kept in touch with her, but I didn't see her for a long time. I do remember though that before she moved out she became friends with very odd girls who would spend the night when Alicia was baby-sitting us kids. We found out afterward that some of these girls were doing drugs. She hates Isaak's father, and had to move out of town to avoid legal difficulties with him. Since all that, there has been a reconciliation. As explained in "The rest of the story" above, my parents were focused on the fact that she was a prodigal rather than that they she be following the greatest commandment: Love God first, and Love your neighbor as yourself. Realizing their mistake, my parents began to resume contact with Alicia and us, her younger siblings. We still don't agree on everything, but the lesson of love is one I believe everyone can benefit from.

I think that about covers it. I thank you all for a very enjoyable evening of reading your posts. Thank you, positive posters, for stating your opinions. I recommend that everyone reading this visits our website at www.jeubfamily.com

Posted by: Cynthia Jeub | September 10, 2008 1:37 AM

Let's all remember that we all only saw a small glimpse of the Jeub families life portrayed on television. I'm sure there are circumstances in regards to the oldest daughter that we aren't aware of. Please don't be so quick to judge as none of us are perfect.

Posted by: Melissa | September 30, 2008 10:51 AM

The Jeubs are a commendable family, raising primarily happy, healthy children within their budget. But after watching one episode of them, there are some things that I find disturbing.

While it is a loving gesture to have the older children care for and look out for the younger ones, the primary care of small children should remain with the parents. Teaching responsibility is one thing, but Mom yelling, “Who’s going to change the baby next?” seriously diverts that responsibility from the main caregivers.

What if these kids weren’t so cooperative? Would Mom be so willing to keep having babies if she had to change all the diapers herself?

And what about Alicia? If they promote individuality, why would they need to separate her from the rest of her family and be so reluctant to let her back in? Are they so set on their rules or their way of life that they are intolerant to differences in their own child?

Rebellion is a natural growth period for some children, and I would think experienced parents would be able to do a better job of handling it. Of course raising growing children is a rising challenge for any parent, but if you are having serious problems with an older child, I would think twice before adding to the younger set, which they continue to do.

And what if they have a special needs child, like one with down syndrome? I would think that being religious, they would accept it as a challenge from God. But I would like to see them address that question if it were asked of them.

They're doing a fine job of living within their means. I just hope they don't over extend their limits.

Posted by: Maureen | September 30, 2008 11:32 AM

To all of you people critizing this family, look at your own life. So the Jeubs use hand me down clothing. Big deal. Would you rather the parents spend alot of money on clothes, and little on food or toiletries? Oh, that would definitly give you something to talk about. About Alicia: that is THEIR business. No one knows the real reason but them. If she was doing something destrucitive, it makes sense that they removed her from the house and her younger siblings. Children's minds are like sponges, they absorb everything they are exposed to.
I think that there is nothing wrong with having so many children, if they meet their needs. Obviously the parents are doing the best they can. Doesn't every parent? Come on people, nobody's perfect!
The Jeubs are a very beautiful family, and it is not our place to judge. The kids seem to be well-rounded. They do their chores, have manners, and help their parents. What more do you want?

Posted by: Alyssa | September 30, 2008 7:16 PM

I caught a rerun of the Jeub show this week, and am as fascinated by all the opinions posted here as I was by their unique but obviously successful lifestyle. As a retired public school teacher, I'd like to comment particularly on all the negative remarks about Jeub home schooling. In fact, they are utilizing one of our country's most successful teaching styles: the one room school house. Those young children coloring during the lesson on the Mississippi were LISTENING and LEARNING in the same way that 5 and 6 year olds learned from recitations by the older children in one room schools. This system has some real advantages for the students: bright children are learning from more mature lessons, and less successful children profit from repetition, and from lessons which are not focused directly on them and their skills. I will always say that I prefer the idea of public education being available for everyone, but I don't think it is the only route to knowledge. They seem to be a loving, united family who support each other. That's good enough for me.

Posted by: Sharon Walworth | October 1, 2008 3:15 PM

I watched the episode and read what they wrote. We Americans(not all of us) have lost something very important.Family.Trips to the mall or to the salon to get your hair done.Spending alot of money on clothing and stuff and activities for your children is not what family is about. Sure some of it is ok but to focus on that and not spend time with your kids teaching them and nuturing them is so wrong. I am a mother of five and I homeschool four. Most of what i hear from reading the blogs is that you see only a glimpse of their lives and you make the judgment. Do you know them? Do you live near them? No. I do know that what the older kids do the younger ones do also. I have an older son and my girls and my youngest try very hard to mimic his actions. We do run a home similar to what the Juebs run. We do believe in God and we teach all our kids that respect for God,your parents and your family and others as well as your self is so important. I live in the part of the country that i see many kids hateful and rude and nasty to other people including their parents. It is sad that i see all of it. My kids are very embarrassed for the parents to see thier kids act that way. I am glad to see parents Like the Juebs for I thought me and are friends were the only ones.

Posted by: Becky | October 16, 2008 2:36 AM

I love watching big families-- especially the Duggars! Something just seemed off to me with the Juebs. The dad seemed controlling-- like he just wants more kids to control them. I also did not like how he handled the Alisha situation. Remember when she said, "I have much more harsher feelings toward my father than my mother." But who am I to judge? Their website says they have fixed much of the problem.

I have no problem with big families as long as they raise them well, without reliance on the government or other people. If a family *chooses* to continue having many children,they need to take the responsibility.

Posted by: yeah | October 22, 2008 1:29 PM

I feel compelled to post here as I have heard many stories of the Jeub family from Wendy's sister, Heather, who is my coworker. NEVER have I heard such hypocritical people. What ever happened to "judge not lest ye be judged"? I feel anyone who needs clarification that these parents are doing something right need only to read the post from Cynthia Jeub on this site. She is pretty articulate for a child without proper schooling and being ignored by her parents. I say, congrats Chris and Wendy on the upcoming birth of your 14th child. Clearly God believes you have more love to give.

Posted by: Amy | October 23, 2008 10:29 AM

Just a comment to Amy, does God believe that women who are not able to give birth to children, or women who are not able to have more children don't have love or "more" love to give? This doesn't sound correct to me.

Posted by: mj | October 23, 2008 3:21 PM

I think like all things in life, the program about the Jeub family is subject to interpretation. I think that this family does the best job that they know how and just because we might not live our lives like they do doesn't necessarly make them bad parents, however if i couldn't afford to buy my children clothes I would seriously consider not having any more children!

Posted by: Wendy | November 6, 2008 1:53 AM

I admire and respect the large families shown on this series, however I did find the Jeub family slightly disturbing and when I visited their website my mindset did not improve. Before I make any further comment I would like to emphasis this is my personal opinion and everyone is entitled to their own! I disagreed with the way they treated their eldest daughter I have been brought up with the old fashioned belief that families stick together no matter what and that there is no problem too big that can't be worked through. Psycologically there was probably a very real reason for her rebellion and if the parents had taken the time to establish what it was and dealt with it in a forgiving manner which I have always held to be a strong Christian trait then this situation could have ended very differently. I admit I perhaps don't know enough about the Evangelical movement but I would have thought that the feelings of helplessness and pain felt as a parent at the thought of failing your child would have been sufficient to allow them to open their hearts and minds and work through their daughters problems with her.

As for hand me downs, my children wear them and I buy them new clothes as well, there is nothing wrong with seconds, it is helping the environment after all!

The state of the house and diaper changing, at the end of the day is the parents responsibility and if the mother doesn't feel capable of keeping up with the house work then she should approach her husband about helping her (not her kids). They are supposed to be kids after all! Kids should have chores revolving around their well being not everyone elses!

Finally while I don't agree with home schooling and wouldn't give it to my children I think providing it's the right home schooling it's fine!

Lastly to Cynthia, if you ever read the comments on this site again please know that I for one think your parents truly love you and are doing the best job they know how to do, and that no two people will ever agree on how to raise a child therefore all these comments are opinions and should be read as such! You sound like you love your mum and dad very much and that's just the way it should be!

Posted by: Rebecca | November 8, 2008 5:30 AM

Two comments:

1) I'm an only child and I wore hand-me-downs.

2) Regarding the toilet. Any chance that the water was high in iron? We have iron in our well water and it tends to stain everything it touches.

Posted by: Mary | December 29, 2008 10:43 AM

I have just started watching these kids by the dozen programs. One basic question comes to mind ... Are these kids supported by their parents or is this a welfare supported family? If yes, shame on them for planning on having more children for others to support! Also are they home schooled so that they can raise the younger children? All children deserve to own a pair of shoes,the father actually took his son to a recording studio with the son having painted his own feet blue in lieu of shoes to wear. If there just wasn't enough time to "find" shoes to put on, then dads priorities are strange....

Posted by: mom | December 29, 2008 11:55 AM

The Jeubs realized their mistakes and repented, this is their words from their website: "In the process of trying to explain our relationship with Alicia, God moved on our hearts to forgive her. It was the most difficult relational journey in our lives. We walked through a lesson on judgment that forced us to realize that we, as Alicia’s parents, were not displaying the love of the father in the story of the Prodigal. We believe we made the right choices in the initial separation between the family and Alicia’s rebellion, but when she started to return to the family, we closed up and put up defenses. I suppose some resistance was reasonable, but we certainly did not swing our arms open and have a party for Alicia’s return.

The TLC producers and editors pressed us on this. “You speak so much of love, but you won’t welcome your oldest daughter back?” Those questions burned in our heart. God showed us, in more situations than with the Alicia situation, that our hearts were hardened and bent toward judgment. We couldn’t help but judge Alicia for her sin. God led us into a deep study of love and relationship, the Greatest Commandment principle, and ultimately leaving judgment to God.

We confessed our shortcoming to Alicia in a couple of meetings. We can’t tell you how incredibly forgiving Alicia was, as well as sorry for her past failings in the conflict. God showed us how He can heal relationships once we surrendered judgment to Him. God will judge Alicia–just as He will judge her parents–not on how accurate our assessments of our actions are, but on how we love one another.

Does this story resonate with you? Separation is in all our lives in one way or another. We go into much more detail in our book, Love in the House, due out in May (more information to be posted soon). The last few chapters go into more detail than the TLC episode and this FAQ post. God worked through all of this to, hopefully, point viewers in the direction of love and reconciliation."

Posted by: Tammy | January 12, 2009 8:32 PM

If they choose to have a large family and can support them without government assistance then more power to them. I grew up in a VERY urban area where many people just have one child and are on every form of welfare, food stamps, and childcare assistance there is.
However, did no one else have a problem with they way they used the food samples at the store as a free meal for their kids? The dad was saying they buy a large pizza for the whole family and that takes the edge off of the hunger and they purposely shop on Sundays for the free samples and then the whole family makes the rounds stopping at every sample table to finish off the meal. Something just seems wrong with taking advantage of the free samples for their Sunday dinner.
I understand being thrifty but this just seems not right to me.

Posted by: Andrea | January 27, 2009 1:15 PM

To each his own. i give the Jeubs credit for raising so many children. My only problem is the older dughter talking about after changing 5 diapers in a row you get an ice cream. i have so many problems with that. First i can't believe that ice cream is an earned treat. In my freezer if there is ice cream have at it. My bigger problem is these kids are not parents. It is not their job to change diapers. It is easy to have alot of kids when your older kids become care takers. That is wrong. you had them, they are yours, take care of them. it is not the kids choice that their parents had so many kids, so it should not be their burden.I do not have a problem with big families. But the older kids should not be told to take care of younger kids. EVER!! Unless the parents are giving them a few bucks to watch them. It is wrong.

Posted by: jen | February 18, 2009 3:01 AM

I must say I watched this show for the first time yesterday because I'm fascinated with large families and I think the Duggers & Goslins are great...but something was a bit off with the Juebs.

I think its great to have lots of kids but only if you can afford to equip them with all the tools they need to be responsible, self sufficient and constructive members of society.. especially in this day and time. The oldest daughter has repeated the cycle of having a child out of wedlock with no formal education, the 18 yr old daughter has now left home and has no idea what she wants to do with herself.. It was interesting to hear the parents encouraging her to go college(now that she has left home and isn't doing anything with herself) and not take the road they took. However, they do admit they do not have the money to support her in pursuing that because they where never able to save money. In addition, they rely on the grandfather who made it his priority to save some money for his grand-daughter's formal education. I wonder if they think perhaps with less children they would have afforded not just the money but the time to actually raise this young girl(and some of their other children) and encourage her to make decisions about her future at an early age, then do their part as parents and support her formal education plans...

As I notice that they do not have the financial resources of the Duggers, Goslins, or even some smaller families to comfortably give their children a reasonable shelter space or even for them to have ample nutrious food(as they stated), it makes me feel as if they are not being responsible by choosing not to engage in family planning of which they can thoroughly give every single child a chance for future success in adulthood that each child deserves.

Posted by: msjln-socialworker | March 4, 2009 5:59 PM

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