May 18, 2007 2:38 PM
99 Balloons - update
When I blogged this moving tribute to Eliot, whose life lasted 99 days and is touching thousands of hearts, a reader wished there was a way to know what's happened since in the lives of his parents.
Spunky has once again come through for us, finding the blog 99 Balloons - which continues the story of Matt and Ginny:
We want to propose an idea that we have mulled over. We are asking you (yes…you) to consider e-mailing us what Eliot’s life, or a similar occurrence, has taught you. You may be a longtime friend, a new friend through this blog, or someone we have never met…whatever the case, please consider taking the time and effort to write out what you have learned. It can be a sentence, paragraph, or book-length. You need not be eloquent, just honest. You could also repeat or expound on a post or note you already sent us. E-mail your words to matt(at)ninetynineballoons(dot)com. We may even post some of the responses.Read the entire post at Treasuring Today.
I think you'll also be touched by the letter Matt wrote to his wife on their anniversary after their 99 days with Eliot:
Dear Ginny,This Saturday marks 6 years of our marriage. Prior to this year, I was sure I knew you and more sure that I loved you.
As I think back upon our celebration of five years of marriage, there was so much excitement. We were expecting our first baby. Truly, our wildest imaginations could not contain a glimpse of the year about to come. Our questions centered more around was it a boy or a girl than on anything relating to health.
Although you insisted on not knowing if it was a boy or a girl, we did find out that our child was sick. “Trisomy 18” went from a couple of strange words, to your most studied topic. The forthcoming information was not good. Thus, we were forced into a new world where hurt came easy and any sentiment of control was completely gone.
It was at this moment that I was proved wrong. Because it was here, that I saw facets of you never before revealed. Reservoirs of courage were tapped within you that I never knew existed. And I watched in awe, as you fought to celebrate whatever you were given from the hand of God. Watching you encouraged me to take up arms and fight beside you.
He was a boy! And you were his mother. Yet again, I was proven wrong because seeing you mother Eliot, my definition of love changed. I never had been a witness to that which I saw. You loved him well.
Then, when he left, we, too were left- here, without him. And we struggled. The emotions, the heartache- we both just wanted him back. Despite wanting nothing more than to encourage each other, we were left often doing just the opposite. And you fought.
Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for being the clearest picture of Christ on this side of eternity.
I thought that was so sweet, yet so raw and authentic.
Any major stress - including the birth of a child with a disability - will show up every crack in the foundation of a marriage. After Jonny was born, though we needed each other more than ever, Tripp and I encountered many difficulties in our relationship. The amount of stuff we discovered we could fight over really took us by surprise.
This is the reason why the divorce rate following the birth of a child with a disability is very high. Every weakness that was unexposed is now glaringly apparent - kind of like the earthquake damage you see following a major jolt on the west coast.
Then you can either come in with a wrecking ball and demolish the place. Or you can get to work and repair the structural flaws. You can even retrofit, providing more strength to withstand bigger stress next time.
When you see a husband and wife who've been through something so earthshaking, you know there is a wisdom there that most people their age have not had an opportunity to earn.
And you know they need our love and prayers.
Posted in Babies, Disabilities, Inspiration | Permalink
Comments
Thanks for this, Barbara. I just wanted to add that parents of preemies also go through this type of thing. It's incredibly stressful having a child in the NICU and not knowing whether he or she will live, be disabled, or be perfectly healthy. As you say, this sort of stress shows up every crack in the relationship!
Kristina
Posted by: Kristina | May 18, 2007 5:36 PM
My life was profoundly affected by Eliot and Ginny and Matt. I appreciate Spunky passing on their blog info.
I just love Eliot's little face, don't you all? :) What a precious precious boy - and what incredibly beautiful parents. They can teach us ALL much about celebrating each day of life. I know that I will parent my seven differently because of this.
Thanks for sharing this story with us, Barbara.
Posted by: Holly | May 19, 2007 10:38 AM
