May 4, 2007 8:56 AM
The Doug Phillips controversy: What does it mean to be a Christian leader?
People may wonder why I would consider myself worthy to even comment on the Doug Phillips controversy. Who am I, anyway? A not-so-famous Christian writer who admittedly hasn't even thoroughly read all the documents in this He Said/She Said controversy.
I also am an obedient follower of Christ. Every morning I wake up and allow myself to be guided in what I write about. Some will trust me on that and others might not. But I am secure in it myself. I don't question why God would have me speak about something. The Bible has given me plenty of examples of people who questioned God when he called them to speak, thinking themselves unworthy or unqualified. God's ways are not the ways of men. And he chooses the humble and lowly to get the attention of people in high places.
I don't think it's an accident that in 1989 our family became involved in a church which proved itself in short order to be a cult-like church (see Legalism and Christian Cults). Although we were there less than two years, the recovery took the same about of time. It was as though God had us on an accelerated course in Christian leadership.
I remember the resident church counselor - who was obtaining his MFW at the time - was amazed that I was the same personality type as "the leader" - a man that the congregants spoke of with awe and reverence. How could this little mother of seven be an ENTJ also? Again, I don't think it was an accident. God used the experience of seeing an out-of-control ENTJ for me personally to teach me how to temper my personality to make it more useful to him.
I am in the odd position of having the strongest leadership personality type possible, and yet I am a woman committed to the biblical pattern of male leadership. After years of feminism and dominating, believe me, I knew exactly what I was doing when I gave that up. I have tried to channel what I know intuitively about leadership into building up the men in my life.
But I also have the ability to clarify issues of leadership. And though I am not in the position of someone like Randy Alcorn - who I greatly admire - and not at all in a position where anyone might take seriously much of what I say, I still have the responsibility to say what I see.
I've been a Christian since 1987. During that time I've been to many different churches and I've met many different leaders. I've met arrogant men in high places and I've met humble men in high places. I've learned that men can have great ideas and do great things for God and still be greatly flawed themselves. There are Christian leaders I've met who are clearly not at all interested in the pedestal people might like to put them on. They are there to serve and it is very clear. I think of Dr. Dobson, whose obedience to God's leading has given us an incredible organization which has helped hundreds of thousands of families in practical ways: Focus on the Family. Dr. Dobson didn't start out with a vision, but by simply following God's leading he witnessed the growth of something that was clearly God's plan.
On the other hand, I've seen Christian leaders who have a vision and work hard to make that vision a reality. I've seen Christian leaders who become larger than life, who take on an iconic stature in the body of Christ, who come to occupy a pedestal. And I've seen Christian leaders who enjoy it more than they should.
It is our flawed nature that we do this - that we put people on pedestals. Sometimes they deserve it and sometimes they don't. But people don't seem to be very discerning about this. Any Christian in leadership has got to acknowledge this very real tendency in fellow Christians to make gurus out of speakers - at any level. I feel it myself when I speak to groups of any size. There are always people afterwards who I can tell think more highly of me than I deserve.
I find that humbling. But I do believe if I hadn't been through the wringer with good old Pastor H, I might not have had the wisdom to distance myself from that. I might have basked in the undeserved glory. I might have enjoyed it a little too much and instead of handling it responsibly I might have accepted it and even eventually begun to manipulate it to create an atmosphere around myself.
I don't know why God has seen fit to show me, a woman, how this works in men who are Christian leaders. But he has.
The fact is that there are Christian leaders who handle this predilection for pedestals in a responsible way, keeping their followers eyes fixed on God and his work in their lives and deflecting attempts to lionize them. And there are Christian leaders who allow a cult of personality to be built around them by their followers.
The followers are guilty of course - guilty of making idols. But I personally hold the leaders most responsible because I believe from my own experience that God would not gift us with leadership ability without a safety net of self-control so we would never misuse our leadership to cause harm to others.
This is why I really don't have to read all the "he said, she said" stuff to understand the larger issues involved leadership controversies. What's really going on is very plain when a Christian leader uses his power to crush dissent and his followers rush to his defense. It's an ugly sight. And if his followers only understood how they are not helping him but hindering his spiritual progress!
Why would I go out on a limb to take this radical view? Because it's what I'm supposed to do. Even if it meant that no one would ever read a word I said again, I would bring the message I'm supposed to bring.
The church needs to recognize that the biblical pattern of leadership was established by Christ. That means washing the disciples' feet.
A leader can't help being a leader. But a Christian leader has a responsibility to make sure his leadership glorifies God and not himself. Whenever you see a Christian leader with a base of believers who support his ministry, there is something seriously wrong.
What we should see is the leader coming beneath the believers to lift them up and release their gifts. Think of an inverted pyramid. The man at the bottom is still the leader; it's just that his ego is not tied up in being on top.
This is an issue I've been concerned about for a long time. It's not a personal issue. I've bought Vision Forum products and I thank Doug Phillips for the work he's done to enrich Christian families. But it seems obvious to me that God is trying to teach him something - and it seems equally obvious that he and his followers are doing their best not to be taught.
You all know how I feel about teachability - it is the thing that saves us from ourselves. Woe betide the leader who becomes unteachable!
Posted in Spiritual abuse | Permalink
Comments
amen!
Posted by: deborah | May 4, 2007 9:11 AM
Having been through these trials with you....seeing firsthand different styles of leadership, I have this humble observation. During Our Lord's last 24 hours at the Last Supper,(which He knew were His last, so He talked and demonstrated what He wanted His disciples to remember)The disciples were arguing over who was the greatest amongst themselves,Luke 22:24-30. "Now there was also a dispute among them, as to which of them should be considered the greatest. And He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves. “But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials. And I bestow upon you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one upon Me, that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” Jesus is describing Man's view of leadership,God's way, and its rewards. In light of this, a leader patterning himself after the "Good Shepherd" wakes up in the morning and thinks, "How can I best serve my flock today and help them do Our Father's will and fullfill His vision and purpose for their lives?" A leader who patterns himself after his own heart, (world's way) thinks; "How can I get this flock to fullfill my vision and do what I want, (or what I think God's will is for me.)" I think for men the temptation for the latter comes from one of the 3 "Gs." 1.)Gold....personal material gain. 2.)Girls..lust of the flesh.3.)Glory...the desire to have the personal glory...pride of man...the reason for the Fall. I have observed this in myself and in others. The only times in my life that I have felt truly fullfilled have been when I was leading God's way.
Posted by: Papa Tripp | May 4, 2007 10:08 AM
Amen and amen, Barbara! Thanks for being brave enough to write what God would have you to write - more and more people really need to hear the truth about how a leader should behave. Thanks!
Posted by: Kathy F. | May 4, 2007 3:26 PM
I love your courage-thank you for keeping this in the news. I followed the story for awhile until I had read enough and saw it for what it was.
Can you recommend any books about coming out of legalism? I've never been in an abusive church, but thanks to people like Doug, I was heavily legalistic all during the 90's and am still struggling to figure out what to keep from that time and what to let go of. I can smell legalism a mile away now and I run as fast as I can in the other direction as soon as I get the slightest whiff. :)
Posted by: joanna | May 4, 2007 9:40 PM
Joanna -
I just posted a bunch of recommendations:
http://www.mommylife.net/archives/2007/05/legalism_and_sp.html
Posted by: barbara | May 4, 2007 10:00 PM
Thanks Barbara. You articulated this well...
Posted by: Kat | May 5, 2007 12:24 AM
I am just now learning about this controversy with Doug Phillips.... but I wanted to say thank you for writing such a wonderful post!!! Excellent!! I can't agree more with you!
I recently came out of 19 yrs of active membership in a well known cult. I saw first hand the mis - use of power over and over and over again.... until I could no longer take it.
Praise God I am free thru His Son Jesus Christ!
Anyone who tries to set themselves up a "god" is not of God......
Thanks for having the courage to write this piece,
Mom of 10
Posted by: mom of 10 | March 20, 2008 9:27 PM
