May 21, 2007 7:40 PM
"The talk" - part 3 - Book recommendations
For Christian parents, the most important thing to remember when teaching your children about sex is that it's imperative that God's plan be part of what you teach - from the very beginning. Sex isn't a bad thing we say no to, but a wonderful gift we can all look forward to - at the right time with the right person - the person we marry.
I strongly recommend only buying books on this subject written by Christian authors. And I suggest that you read the comments left by other readers at Amazon to see what other parents think of the books you are considering. Here are a few reommendations to get you started (click on the images to find more about each book at Amazon):
This is a great resource for Christian parents, as the approach to sex is as a wonderful gift from God.. Each page has 2 sets of text - one larger font for younger children and smaller font with more advanced information for older kids so you don't have to give your child more information than he wants or needs. In addition to conception and pregnancy, this book covers adoption - all from a biblical perspective. The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made is a wonderful starting point for discussion with your kids. If you have any doubts, read the reviews at Amazon - and notice the ones by those who grew up with this book and found it more inspirational than the mechanical ones that leave God out of the picture.
Set up as a story-within-a-story (which creates psychological distance and automatically increases the comfort level), this involves a child asking questions and parents explaining the physical differences between men and women, how married people show their love for each other, how fertilization occurs, how women and men help in raising children. It also discusses adoption and breastfeeding.
From Amazon:
Book DescriptionA GIFT TO BE SHARED-GOD'S WAY. You know what sex is. You've heard other kids joking about it, and maybe you've seen actors talking about it on TV. But you probably still have some questions, and that's great-because What's the Big Deal? was written to help kids like you, ages 8-11, find the answers you need. What's the Big Deal? explains the basic facts about sex and such related issues as: 1) Why God made adults so that they want to have sex; 2) Why God designed sex to be shared only within marriage; 3) What God actually says about sex in the Bible; 4) The amazing changes ahead of you during puberty; and 5) How to respond when you feel sexual pressure from peers, TV shows, movies, and magazines. Your parents will read this book with you or discuss it with you as you read it on your own. They'll answer any leftover questions you might have and help you understand what a beautiful and exciting gift from God your sexuality is meant to be. TABLE OF CONTENTS: Introduction Chapter 1: What's the Big Deal? Chapter 2: Why Do People Do That? Chapter 3: Sex Outside of Marriage Chapter 4: What Does God Really Say About It? Chapter 5: The Changes of Puberty Chapter 6: But Why Can't I Do That? Chapter 7: What Is AIDS? Chapter 8: What Does Gay Mean? Chapter 9: God's Response to Wrong Chapter 10: What Is a Period? Chapter 11: What Is Sexual Abuse? Chapter 12: Growing Up
Seriously, don't you wish you'd had a book like What's the Big Deal? (and Stan Jones has a series of books, so you might want to check out his others) when you were at a certain age and full of questions and a few twisted bits of information? I don't know about everyone out there, but my introduction to sex was exploitative and unfortunately I never learned God's plan for sex until it was time for me to figure out how to teach my kids. I'm grateful for resources like these and recommend them highly.
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Comments
We bought that first book for our first discussions with our kids. We loved it, it gave us a really great place to start. (AND it included adoption, which we appreciated....)
Janet
Posted by: Janet | May 21, 2007 9:49 PM
Thank you for this series! This is very timely, as my daughter is at the age where we need to make sure we're covering this stuff with her. Off to check out some of these books on Amazon!
Posted by: Lynnae | May 21, 2007 10:45 PM
Thank you for this! Funny as I just woke up this morning pondering all this. My parents never told me anything about Puberty, sex,...nothing. They exempted me out of the Sex Ed class that was held once a year at the christian private school i attended, but then never followed up at home. I understand thier desire for something so intimate not being taught by the school system, but mourn that they never followed up with me themselves. this left me depending completely on tv and movie media (along with small chats from my peers) about periods, sex, and everything they involve. If i had known more, I do not believe I would have given my virginity away at such an early age (15...yikes!) which partly was because I was just so curious as to what all the media hype was....of course i regret it and because of it, I want to make communication lines very open with my own children. Thank you for these recommendations! My children are still pretty young, but I am buying the books now to have them right when i need them!
Kristy in England
Posted by: kristy | May 22, 2007 6:50 AM
Barbara,
Thanks for these recommendations.
I remember the strange information I brought home from camp and my poor mom's attempts at correcting what I had learned by handing me a booklet from a Kotex box entitled "Very Personally Yours." I, too, had not really thought through putting any of it into perspective until I had my own children.
What really bothers me, especially in some homeschooling circles today, is that the solution for this is to tell kids NOTHING but then to keep them under lock and key until you marry them off. What kind of solution is that? I just read a book that promoted this perspective and thought about how scared a young woman would be getting married with no information.
Thanks again for your suggestions.
Posted by: thatmom | May 22, 2007 12:50 PM
"What really bothers me, especially in some homeschooling circles today, is that the solution for this is to tell kids NOTHING but then to keep them under lock and key until you marry them off. What kind of solution is that? I just read a book that promoted this perspective and thought about how scared a young woman would be getting married with no information."
Really? What book was that? I've never heard such an idea promoted.
Posted by: Michelle Potter | May 22, 2007 3:07 PM
I don't know that it's in a book (it might be), but I've heard this idea promoted quite a bit. One example I know if is Gary Ezzo (Growing Kids God's Way), who promotes a very vague and non-specific s*x education, using a flower analogy.
I've known people who were subjected to this non-education. It's not a good thing. Makes for lots of fear before marriage and lots of problems after.
Posted by: CharityGrace | May 23, 2007 1:49 PM
Hi Michelle,
I don't want to be a can-of-worms opener on somebody else's blog so you can e-mail privately if you want to chat. The book I am reading says that even allowing our daughters to read or watch anything that has romantic themes is a violation of their maidenhood, let alone knowledge that can stir up "awakenings" that they ought not to have. I am assuming that would be Jane Austen as well.
Posted by: thatmom | May 24, 2007 11:15 AM
