June 4, 2007 11:52 AM
Bridal shower gifts - any suggestions
Hi Barbara! Love your site! I have a bridal shower coming up for my son and future daughter in law. What I wanted to get them is unavailable now. I am having trouble thinking of a unique gift! You always have wonderful ideas and was wondering if you could point me in the right directions of some sites you could refer to me. Thanks and God Bless! Denise
Tripp and I have made our signature gift a birdfeeder or birdhouse. I've really never liked getting stuff listed at a registry. Hope I'm not stepping on any toes here, and I understand the purpose, but I just really like to have a little more room to be creative and personal :)
If you're going to shop for a birdfeeder - or anything, really - check out amazon for the ones made with copper. And remember if you go in through the link on my left sidebar, a small percentage of your purchase will help maintain this site :)
What do you all like to give? What did you love receiving?
Posted in Marriage | Permalink
Comments
My favorite gifts were little everyday things that you never think of stocking for a first baby. A dear friend gave me a baby medicine cabinet stocked with all kinds of things that I never thought of purchasing before hand. Infant Tylenol, thermometor orajel, etc.
Posted by: Maria | June 4, 2007 12:31 PM
I usually give picture albums or photo frames. Everyone can use those.....:-)
Posted by: Janet | June 4, 2007 12:39 PM
My husband and I have made our standard wedding gift a Hot Shot from Sunbeam. Used to be you could only find them online, but Wal-Mart has recently started stocking them. It's a hot water maker that is inexpensive but oh-so-useful. It heats two cups of water to boiling in about a minute. Very helpful for making tea, hot cocoa, instant oatmeal, and when coupled with an espresso machine, Americanos. Ours runs almost-constantly during the winter!
Posted by: Becky Miller | June 4, 2007 1:07 PM
What about an apron and some pretty kitchen towels or yummy smelling dish soap?
Posted by: Lora Lynn | June 4, 2007 1:43 PM
Now that I've been married for 12 years, I can look back on my bridal showers and think, "THAT was a good gift!" Those included: a cute sewing kit/box w/ all the trimmings: nice scissors, assorted threads, a pin cushion, anything and everything you don't have as a new bride. Also, a nice quilt was one of our favorites. A friend gave us a HONEYMOON KIT complete w/ Tylenol, pen/paper, snacks, bottles of water, sunscreen, waterproof camera. That kit came in sooooooo handy! A nice framed crosstitch or calligraphy of the couple's new family tree. That's invaluable. Have fun!
Posted by: Kristin | June 4, 2007 1:56 PM
I hope that it is OK to give myself a little plug here... :o)
I make crochet name doilies. I try to do this for each shower I am invited to, and they are ALWAYS a huge hit! So I have started making them to sell. You can it on my sidebar of my blog. Quilts are another special gift to give, especially for baby shower gifts. I rarely ever give a bought gift.
Posted by: Kathy, Jeff's Wife | June 4, 2007 1:58 PM
We did receive a comprehensive first aid kit (in a fishing tackle box) as a shower gift, and it has really come in handy. We just used up all the bandaids, though.
Another really useful gift was a collapsible ice chest~at least for newlyweds who are just starting out and who won't have much room. We still use that every week.
One thing I did once that I thought was kind of fun was making up a popcorn kit, with big metal bowls (everyone needs those!), popcorn, containers of different seasoning mixes, wrapped in a big towel.
Posted by: Queen of Carrots | June 4, 2007 1:59 PM
We like to give a basic toolbox or a laundry basket with household basics like lightbulbs (assorted sizes), duct tape, and other items. One friend gave the new couple a snowshovel with ice scrapers, de-icer, and walkway salt attached.
Posted by: Stephanie | June 4, 2007 2:02 PM
My cousin gave us beautiful windchimes. We love them!
Posted by: Melissa | June 4, 2007 2:33 PM
I know this isn't terribly fun, but my mother always gives kitchen-sized fire extinguishers or carbon monoxide monitors. Two things that are useful to have that most people don't buy for themselves. Often she'll couple the fire extinguisher with some lingerie as a joke.
Honestly, I appreciated most a couple of plates and bowls that a friend gave us that are outrageous--orange with green, yellow, and red stripes. They're so fun, and fit my personality perfectly. I call them our "Happy-ware", because it makes me smile everytime we use them.
Oh! One thing they might enjoy (not as a shower gift, necessarily) is a basket with snacks, sparkling apple cider, water bottles, etc. that you can leave at the front desk of their hotel to be placed in the room before they check in. It can really be nice to not have to get showered and dressed first thing in the morning because you're starving.
Posted by: Emily | June 4, 2007 3:52 PM
The most unusual and appreciated wedding gift we received was a large stack of firewood. We had many romantic evenings by the fire!
I like to knit blankets for my friends when they have a baby. I also really enjoyed a small book of scripture verses my mom-in-law chose for me to read during all those feedings. She included it in a basket with other little things useful for nursing moms like lotion, snacks, etc.
Posted by: Laurie | June 4, 2007 8:52 PM
A gift Certificate to a CCL NFP class (Or some other natural birth control class) to give them an alternative to "The Pill."
A marriage-enrichment class like those offered by Family Life (also a good 1st anniversary gift).
Books:
The First Years of Forever (Wheat and Perkins)
Starting your Marriage Right (Rainey)
The First Five Years of Marriage (from Focus on the Family)
A "Magnetic" photo album (with example) for the wedding/etc. cards they want to save (for those like me that are scrap-book- (or time-) impaired). You cut the plastic over sheet to fit the card, sticking the inside to the page and leaving the cover side free (oh dear, does that make sense?) The text inside is covered and protected by the clear sheet
A "chocolate-chip cookie kit" with a bag of chips, a bowl, spoons/spatulas/cookie sheet(s) and cooling rack(s). A fun, thematic way to contribute to the kitchen.
A negligee (sp?) that buttons down the front (can be hard to find) is sometimes preferred by a virgin bride. It slows down the whole undressing stage on the wedding night, which can increase Bride's comfort level.
I actually wrote a whole post of advice for a virgin bride, if you know someone who would be interested (Or if you'd like to add your own advice-- moderated, of course).
Posted by: Amy Jane | June 4, 2007 9:16 PM
I love handmade stuff so if I'm not going to make something (usually for a baby shower) a stop by etsy.com usually supplies something wonderful and unique. There are so many talented crafters that you'll definitely find something to fit the personality of the couple getting married.
The next wedding shower I'm attending will be for my sister in law. But as I'm making the wedding dress for her, that's going to be her gift. But it gave me an excuse to buy a serger (I've been trying to come up with a better reason other than 'I really want one' for years) so we're all happy.
Posted by: Spring | June 4, 2007 9:48 PM
Uh-oh Barbara.... I'm feel so bad, but I was so annoyed with people who gave me bridal gifts NOT on my registry or similar! Sorry to say, I probably would not have really appreciated a bird feeder. I got several gifts sort of like that--not on my list, not really practical, and not really me. I can recall that I got photo frames in a very modern style that I had to "regift" at some point, and frou-frou dish towels that were SO not me that also got regifted. And really loud, bright dishes, that were totally not me that I returned for store credit. Etc. I got two picnic baskets that were cute, but not practical. I never used them and think I gave them to a church yard sale to sell.
I feel like a stooge, but I think registries are the best bet. Brides to be put a lot of time into them, generally, and yes, they put what they want and like! Or, otherwise, totally practical stuff is a good bet, like some of the ideas above: first-aid kit, plain dish towels and pot holders that match anything, laundry baskets, tool kits, fancy food kits of food you are very sure they will like, plain photo albums in a style that goes with anything, etc. I got many of these things and appreciated them.
Posted by: Jill (colicmommy) | June 5, 2007 9:15 AM
I recently gave a gift basket with one of my aprons and some mixes in a jar. See a picture here.
Posted by: Connie | June 5, 2007 10:07 AM
I have to say, I get really annoyed when people stray from the registry. Not to mention that it is often a waste of money because the gifts not on my registry are usually random and not something I will use. Just my opinion! Love your blog Barbara!!
Posted by: Mindy | June 5, 2007 12:30 PM
Well, it's interesting to hear the other point of view. But I guess that's what I don't like about the whole registry concept - that it conveys a sense of entitlement.
If it's a helpful guideline for people who don't have time or energy or imagination to find something that has meaning to both the giver and the giftee, that's fine. But perhaps brides and moms should be grateful and understanding when someone wants to get something "special."
There's an element of control in a registry - which is okay to a point. But I think if I had one and felt annoyed at receiving a gift outside it, I'd question myself.
I think the registry has been a good idea but definitely contributed to the idea of gift as entitlement. Some people buy gifts in love and part of the loving gesture is expressed in putting a personal stamp on it.
But this discussion has been good in helping us understand each other a little more :)
Posted by: barbara | June 5, 2007 12:52 PM
Yes, Barbara, I see what you mean about entitlement. Looking back, my feelings of annoyance were sinful and self-serving. It is sad, though, that "creative" gifts are most likely to get unused or regifted or returned or tossed away.
On the other hand, I once was reading an article about gift-giving that pointed out that the most important thing to remember when giving a gift is to get something that the recipient would like, NOT something that you, the giver, like.
That made me stop and think. When I give a gift, am I thinking more about the statement I'm making or about the joy of the person getting it? Am I thinking "This gift is so creative! No one will think of or duplicate this!", or am I thinking "I know that my loved one will like and use this gift." Am I thinking "This gift shows my personal flair!" or am I thinking "This gift shows that I know my loved one and know what they will delight in." Am I thinking "I would LOVE to get this as a gift" or am I thinking "I know my loved one will love to get this as a gift."
That made me totally rethink the idea that registries and wish lists and baby lists and Christmas lists, etc, are boring, shallow and thoughtless. In fact, by giving someone what they want, you are most effectively showing them that you love them (at least in my mind). Your statement: "If it's [a registry] a helpful guideline for people who don't have time or energy or imagination to find something that has meaning to both the giver and the giftee, that's fine." is telling, I think. In my experience, most of the "creative" gifts I've received over the years did not have meaning for the giftee (me), but only for the giver. For example, one of the picnic baskets came from a couple who constantly went hiking and picnicking. They didn't think about the fact that we as a couple dislike eating outdoors in general because my husband has a strong wariness of food and bugs mixing or having a chance to mix. Similarly, if one always gives a birdfeeder, then by necessity it must not always have meaning for the giftee, even if it does always have meaning for the giver. Frankly, not all couples are interested in birds or attracting them to the house area.
So, there's another bit of food for thought in this very interesting discussion!
Posted by: Jill (colicmommy) | June 5, 2007 3:58 PM
I'm with colicmommy in 2nd comment. I try to choose from the registry because the one who filled it out knows what they need ... from cookie pans to vacuum cleaner.
Or, as colicmommy put it so well: Am I thinking "This gift shows my personal flair!" or am I thinking "This gift shows that I know my loved one and know what they will delight in." Am I thinking "I would LOVE to get this as a gift" or am I thinking "I know my loved one will love to get this as a gift."
In the absence of a registry, I tend to go with simple Christmas lights and glass balls (purchased dirt-cheap at the end of the previous season) or one really good tool like a screwdriver set; or a claw hammer and picture-hanging kit.
Posted by: floorplan | June 5, 2007 8:34 PM
Then again, thank God we don't always get what we "KNOW" we need. We seldom really know what we need and God has a way of surprising us...from the children He sends (or doesn't) to the surprising wedding gift we never would have registered for, but end up being just the right thing.
Viva la difference... floorplan
Posted by: floorplan | June 5, 2007 8:38 PM
My 2-cents on the registry:
I was lectured for *not* having one! A lady at my shower took me aside and said I needed to register for my wedding, "As a courtesy to your guests." She said people wanted to give something meaningful and not just money.
I felt crushed by this b/c I had no desire to spend the time necessary to make the list (I had a three-month engagement and was already making my dress and cake with 1-month to go. Busy times).
I felt so embarrassed when I opened that family's card and saw a $50 check. I knew she had wanted wanted to give me something *real*.
Another somebody approached my mother with the same issue: "I don't want them spending it on groceries." She told him to write that on the check, and he did.
We used it for silverware and made some joke in the thank-you about using it for dinner despite his note (we listed in each of the thank yous what we bought with the money).
Posted by: Amy Jane | June 6, 2007 12:42 AM
This has turned out to be much more interesting than I thought.
I still think having a registry is a good idea - for the people Amy Jane described - and being prepared to accept what God brings your way through others with a grateful heart is a good idea also.
I still feel like we should always feel blessed to receive gifts. And if we don't like them, we can bless others by passing them on. God has a plan.
And perhaps these feelings of disappointment and annoyance are good training for being wives and mothers when so often the gifts God gives us disappoint and annoy us :)
I watched two daughters go through this with their weddings. One systematically took back and exchanged all the stuff she didn't want. One gracefully absorbed everything or gave it away - without feeling ripped off.
Everything we do should be a reflection of our efforts to allow God to purify our hearts. I still think blaming people who give gifts you don't like is not only in bad taste, but expecting to be in control of the situation is not good for our character.
Posted by: barbara | June 6, 2007 7:23 AM
Registries are a great idea in this day and age. It's hard for people to know what everyone will need and want since there is SO much stuff out there.
However, people who get annoyed at getting stuff not on their list probably need to think about what a gift is.
I have never celebrated birthdays or holidays because of my religion. When I get a present it is because someone was thinking about me and just wanted to give me something. When I get a gift I truly appreciate it because I know that the giver has affection for me and didn't just get me something because he or she felt obligated. It feels special.
A gift is freely given. Accept it in that spirit.
Posted by: Amy K. | June 6, 2007 8:56 AM
Wow! Who knew receiving a gift could be so annoying? I could understand if the gift was a baby alligator, but dish towels? Put them in the garage and use them for rags, for crying out loud. I wonder if these are the same people who insist that all the children at the birthday party get a gift so no one feels left out.
Spoiled comes to mind.
Posted by: Connie | June 6, 2007 10:33 AM
Enjoying the discussion! Had I received a birdhouse when we married 3.5 years ago I probably would have laughed and may have even sold it at a yard sale- like the pasta maker and some frames and photo albums we received. But now I'd love a birdhouse! We were in an apartment then and I had little interest in birds. Now we have our own home and since hubby found a nest while doing some yard work a few weeks ago my toddler and I have been captivated with cardinals! We peeked at the babies when they hatched, watched the parents come and go with food, listen to them sing and learned that actually only the males are bright red (which is something I never knew and is of great interest to my 2 year old girl)...it's been so much fun! So now I find myself wanting something I could not have imagined wanting before. All this to say we shouldn't scoff at impractical or seemingly useless gifts because we grow and change and just might learn to appreciate things that aren't of interest to us today. Who knows, in a few more years I might kick myself for selling that pasta maker!
Oh, and as for ideas- I think these personalized name art prints are cool-
http://www.grandinroad.com/jump.jsp?item=71954&maincatcode=null&subcatcode=null&itemID=5175&itemType=PRODUCT&path=1%2C2%2C2222%2C2239&iProductID=5175
Posted by: purebillow | June 6, 2007 4:48 PM
Well, I feel like an oddball, but for the shower I give something off the registry (or a good cookbook) and for the wedding, I give an icon. I love the Ignatius Press Divine Mercy icon, which is different from most pictures. I remember the first years when we had little money for "frivolous" things like that (not that I didn't buy them anyway and risk the husband shaking his perplexed head) and our first tree just was decorated in bows cut from a big roll. Now over 20 years and many children later, there are such pictures to grace most rooms. (All our registry wine and beer glasses have long since broken and the knives are dull.)
Posted by: gsk | June 7, 2007 10:44 PM
I like to look at the registry for inspiration and if I have time make knit/crochet dishcloths in the colors the bride has picked for her kitchen. if I can afford it I'll often package them in a canister or large bowl (if she registered a pattern) along with some utensils and an apron in matching theme/color.
sometimes I'll pick up a nice laundry basket in a style or color I think she'll like, and fill it with all the laundry stuff I never realized I needed, including lingere bags, and spot remover.
A similar Idea might be a couple of Bath towels & washcloths(from the registry) in a bathroom sized garbage can (color/style from the registry) with some fun "spa" bath soaps & scrubbies.
in other words I like to start with the registry as a guide (your friend may surpise you with her tastes) and put it together with some things she may not have registered for. Maybe she didn't think of soap or wooden spoons, or if she has them already, they don't take up much space and she'll probably need them eventually.
Mrs Nehemiah
Posted by: Mrs. Nehemiah | June 8, 2007 11:25 AM
To add my last 2-cents, I wrote thank-yous for everything I got, but I did not keep everything I was given.
I divided things up very methodically, and everything I couldn't/wouldn't use that was returnable, I did. Everything that wasn't, I put in a "wedding gifts" box for re-gifting (very useful my first couple years of marriage when we had little money, but still wanted to extend the gesture).
Posted by: Amy Jane | June 9, 2007 10:16 PM
