August 13, 2007 9:16 AM
Parenthood as a rollercoaster ride
Ann's comment about finding out she's pregnant at 48 reminded me of this story I told at the end of Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room - about motherhood being a rollercoaster:
Just the other our night, our family watched an old favorite of ours, Parenthood, which never fails to make me laugh until I cry. Definitely not a Christian worldview movie (warning if you watch with kids – have the fast-forward button handy for just a few scenes), but I love it because it’s filled with compassion for all the imperfect but mostly well-intentioned parents it portrays – the way I think God must be full of compassion when he sees all our craziness.The most down-to-earth parents are Gil (Steve Martin) and Karen (Mary Steenburgen), who already have their worries with an anxiety-ridden ten-year-old – their own “little extra.” Karen’s confided to her sister-in-law that she loves being a Just a Mommy, that she feels she’s good at it, and she’d love to have another baby. But when she finds out she’s pregnant, Gil has just lost his job. He’s upset and she accuses him of wanting her to have an abortion. He says it’s her choice, when what she wants to hear is his commitment to the baby.
In the midst of Gil's tantrum, his live-in grandmother comes in with this story:Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.....[clearly wasting his time]
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me feel so frightened, so sick, so excited, so scared, so safe, and so thrilled, altogether! Some didn't like it. They wanted to go on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
Grandma leaves to wait for them in the car as they’re on their way to see their two oldest kids in the school play. Gil looks after her like, “Hunh?” and makes a sarcastic comment.Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah if she's so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?!
At the play, their youngest child, a handful and a half, gets upset and rushes onstage, causing complete pandemonium. Some people are laughing, but some are angry because the show is ruined. Gil – who worries a lot about what people think – is completely distraught, looking almost nauseous. Suddenly, we hear the unmistakable roar of the rollercoaster and Gil and Karen begin weaving across the screen like they’re in the front seat with all the people in cars behind. Gil’s terrified, but when he sees how much Karen is enjoying it, he starts to relax, and by the end of the ride – signaled by the whoosh of the rollercoaster sliding to a stop and the crowd’s emotions subsiding – he is a changed person. He puts his hand on her belly and smiles, accepting the future.
The beautiful ending to Parenthood is one which most people miss. Flash forward a year to see all the new babies the family has produced – including Gil and Karen’s. Most people wouldn’t notice – unless they knew one themselves – that they’ve had a little girl with Down syndrome. Good thing Karen had pledged allegiance to the rollercoaster – and good thing Gil decided it might not be so bad after all.
Parenthood – motherhood – is a rollercoaster. For some it’s easier than others to be ready for the ride. But to enjoy it, you have to stop resisting and controlling and just go where it takes you. You have to be ready for the belly flops and heart stops. It always looks to me as though the ones having the most fun are the ones brave enough to lift their arms in surrender and just LET GO. And for believers, the beauty of letting go means we’re letting God.
You can be sure of one thing: God knows what wonderful plans He has for you as a mother! And He will be there to lift you and sustain you through the incredible adventure ahead.
Posted in Mothering, Movies | Permalink
Comments
Barbara,
Thanks for your heartfelt thoughts!
With compassion
Mike
Birmingham, Alabama
Posted by: Mike Sawyer | August 13, 2007 11:20 AM
Parenthood has always been one of my all-time favorite movies, and every time I watch it I find it more and more relevant. :)
Posted by: KatieButler | August 13, 2007 11:43 AM
What a great post! I can't watch Parenthood without crying (nearly sobbing). The movie is a love letter to parenting.
I had no idea about the daughter at the end! Just another great reason to love the movie!
Posted by: Katie B. | August 13, 2007 12:04 PM
That is one of my all-time favorite movies. I've seen it dozens of times and never noticed that she was a Downs baby. I'll have to look closer next time!
Posted by: Gem | August 13, 2007 9:54 PM
I also love the movie Parenthood, especially the part you just wrote about with the roller coaster. That is so true of life, isn't it? I have a daughter with Down syndrome and I can't believe that I never noticed in the movie that their baby has Down syndrome! That just makes me love the movie all the more! :)
Posted by: Naomi | August 14, 2007 7:44 AM
Hi. This sounds like so much fun.
Posted by: Kino Barr | November 25, 2008 12:21 PM
