August 17, 2007 1:06 PM
Potty Training - when? How?
Barbara~ My daughter turns 2 this weekend, and while I definitely don't want to rush her, I am thinking about potty training. I don't believe she's shown any signs of potty-training readiness, but I wondered if you'd mind posting what you believe are the signs of readiness? Thanks! Kristina Christian Children's Book Review
Funny you should ask, Kristina, because I just received this book for review:
Click on the book to see the reviews at Amazon. It's a good resource, but one of those things where I wondered why we need to buy a book to learn something moms have been doing for thousands of years, passing on the information word-of-mouth. Personally, I would rather - when my kids were young - have watched them play at the playground while gathering wisdom from other real-life moms than to read a book. If I'm going to read a book I want it to be about something I can't find out any other way :)
So, in case you don't want to invest the time or money into an entire book on potty training, you could google around - or hopefully between all the readers here, we can function as a moms' support group meeting while our kids are playing.
One thing I will say is that the most important thing is that the child be ready. I think there is a brief window of opportunity around 18 months, but that if you miss it, the two's can be more difficult as the child is learning to exert his/her independence during that time, so it's not a good time to introduce new expectations which can be postponed to a more stable time.
Boys need more time to be developmentally ready than girls. Also, babies born prematurely may be on a slightly delayed timetable.
So you are wise to be gathering information, but waiting for your daughter to signal her readiness.
I'm sure the other moms here will have a lot to offer!
Posted in Toddlers | Permalink
Comments
Here's a site I found helpful for training #2:
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/ They have a list of readiness signs and when/if you should quit (sadly, they didn't think I should quit although I wanted to!)
I agree it can become a power stuggle. Everyone I've talked to(but certainly not a scientific study) says after about 2 weeks of somewhat successful potty training the child goes on 'strike'--it doesn't matter if they're 18 months or 4 years old. Stick it out! Once you start don't turn back.
Also if you can do the 'potty training in a day' thing with no accidents or whatever please let me know. It took over a month with my son (we started at 25 months) and longer with daughter (started earlier at around 20 months). It's definately been a process for us. I find potty training to be THE most frustrating part of motherhood. But the trade off--no diapers and poop IN the potty--is fabulous!
Posted by: Alison | August 17, 2007 2:13 PM
I found the book "Toilet Training in Less Than A Day" to be the perfect thing for us. My son was 2 yrs 9 months when we trained, and using the tips in the book, he was totally day trained (pee and poop) in 3 days.
The book is old-fashioned, written in the 70s by a couple of psychologists who worked out how to gently train kids with autism, DS and other mental disorders. They then used in on typical kids and found they could be trained quickly.
You really have to do everything for it to work, though. They suggest staying home for several days, hunkering down and getting the job done. I found this true. We didn't leave our house for 4 days. I only had a baby plus my son, so it was doable. I think it would take longer if you had to go out. I think also for best results with any potty training method, don't use pullups. Go to cloth training pants and clean the messes. Kids take months and months and months to learn in pullups.
Also, better to start when the child is ready. Signs of readiness are that she can articulate what the potty is for, when she is dirty or wet in her diaper, and where grownups put the pee and poop (potty). She should also be physically able to get onto a training potty, pull down her pants, and pull up her pants (with help). Best is to wait until she shows interest in underwear. (When my son asked to wear undies, I jumped on it that very day and started the program).
Good luck!
Posted by: Jill (colicmommy) | August 17, 2007 2:20 PM
My son showed signs of being ready to potty train when he began hiding behind the couch to do his duty. So I began researching potty training and a common theme seemed to be praise and positive reinforcement. I came across a website called www.pottytrainingrewards.com. We hung it in the kitchen and named the little boy on the front of the package, Bobby. My son could not wait to go to the potty so he could push the button, hear the praising message, and get his chocolate reward from, Bobby. It really got my son excited about using the potty himself and it was fun for him. Because he became so involved, potty training was easy. So give it a try. Best of luck!
Posted by: Karen | August 17, 2007 2:34 PM
I can't speak for training girls but with boys I was told that the magic age was 3. So I waited till my son turned 3, set up a sticker chart, and he was trained in no time. Pooping in the potty took a little more effort to train. He got a toy I knew he'd really like if he pooped in the potty for 4 days in a row.
I think it is important to wait until they are ready. When they're ready it will happen very quickly. If you push it too early it will be a long drawn out process.
Posted by: Laurie | August 17, 2007 2:36 PM
Barbara,
Could you please give us some of what you consider the signs we might be looking for in an 18 month old? My 7th child is at that age, and I would love to begin working with him on potty training. I've never tried this early...but it sounds great! I just don't know what to watch for.
With my other children, I just pretty much decided it was time.
Posted by: Holly | August 17, 2007 2:51 PM
Barbara,
Could you please give us some of what you consider the signs we might be looking for in an 18 month old? My 7th child is at that age, and I would love to begin working with him on potty training. I've never tried this early...but it sounds great! I just don't know what to watch for.
With my other children, I just pretty much decided it was time.
Posted by: Holly | August 17, 2007 2:53 PM
I've only potty-trained two so far. But the easiest way we found is to teach them to dirty in the potty first. You know when they are about to do that. At least with mine, it is written all over their faces! Many times we would get both that way. They seemed to learn more quickly what the urge of either felt like. Besides, wet accidents are so much nicer to take care of then the other! (I have been known to throw away messy panties if they are too much for a mommy stomach to handle!)
Now, I'll tell you, our second, very stubborn! We had our third on the way, and she seemed not very willing to give up on being the baby. She did NOT want to be the big girl! However, she is also very matter of fact, so we told her, after realizing it was stubborn behavior and not the lack of development, that X was the last bag of diapers. On the very last diaper, she threw it away, got her big girl panties, and we haven't had an accident since. Praise the LORD!
As a post script, they've been both girls, and we still have two more we've not had to potty train yet!
Posted by: Sara | August 17, 2007 3:52 PM
hmmmmmmm....perhaps I am justa bit lazy or life is just too full of other things (with 7 blessings & working from home)....but after potty training with my eldest back in 1991 I just let the rest decide when they wanted to start wearing panties & use the potty. When they were ready (ie: they asked)then I let them. That was it! One day they were in diapers the next they were fully "tained". No accidents, no time commitment, no fuss, no mess & no stress! I did absoloutly nothing. One waited until she was 3 yrs 10 months but the rest were between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old.
Personally, I think diapers are much easier at times (again...maybe I'm a bit unmotivated!) - like when you are on a long road trip & don't want to stop every 10 minutes, when you are in the grocery store with a full cart & multiple children, when your at the park & the public restrooms are disgusting etc... And I can't stand wet smelly sheets in the morning when I'm ready to get up & go do something fun with the kidlets!
I have had a child in diapers for 18 years now (with the exception of a 6 month break just recently before I gave birth to my newestsweet baby in April) It just is part of life for me! :)
If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed about training & you can or want to just wait. It will happen.
Blessings,
Beth
http://bethlambdin.wordpress.com/
Posted by: Beth | August 17, 2007 6:01 PM
This is very timely. K turned 3 in July and I decided it was time. Tried the every 15 min and that flopped. I don't think she is ready for this yet. I am going to wait until she verbalizes a bit more and shows more signs of being able and ready.
Posted by: Beth | August 17, 2007 7:36 PM
Our oldest two boys weren't ready until they were 3 to 3 1/2. We did the usual things -- stickers, reward charts, etc. It took a while but it worked.
Our youngest is 17 months and has been wearing underwear at home for about a month now. He really wants to be like his big brothers. We knew he was ready because he refused to poo in diapers, insisted on a diaper change every time he was wet and even started telling us before he was wet. We got some thick cotton training pants that he wears at home. When we're out he sometimes wears a diaper, though we still try to make it to a toilet or tree, but more and more he's wearing underwear.
We found some great resources at a site geared toward families practicing elimination communication. Check out www.theECstore.com.
This brings me to a question for everyone -- any recommendations on a potty that a little guy can easily get on and off by himself? Our little guy doesn't walk yet and has a little trouble situating himself on the potties we have. I'd love for him to have more independence and be able to hop on the pot himself. He crawls to the bathroom and is working on getting his underwear off himself but he just can't make it onto the potty.
Posted by: Molly | August 17, 2007 9:48 PM
Sorry for the double post up there. Something was wacky on my end! :)
I CAN answer the potty question, though. After going thru - oh - about six different potties over 14 years, I finally bought the Bjorn potty seat that Barbara recommended. It is small enough for a tiny guy or gal, one piece (so they can't pull out the insertable potty and splosh mess everywhere) and very easy to get clean! I love it!
Posted by: Holly | August 17, 2007 11:27 PM
Thanks, Barbara! Thanks, everyone! I am probably overthinking this a little :) I'm quite sure my daughter hasn't shown any readiness yet, so I'm just in wait and see mode. I do think I'll get the Bjorn potty chair, though, and keep it in the bathroom, so it's something familiar. Who knows? Maybe she'll suddenly show interest.
Kristina
Posted by: Kristina | August 22, 2007 5:02 PM
I've never posted on this blog b4 but I was wondering how long I should stick potty training out with my 17 mo old before just giving up. I've been sitting on the potty for 1.5 mos now, putting her in cotton underwear when she's awake and we are home. She never asks to go potty, but knows what it's for, will say "yay" if she goes in the potty by chance and "uh-oh" and waddle when she wets. She wets about 10-12 times a day (no joke) and I just wonder if she's getting it?? I guess, can anyone assure me that it will get better, I spend ALL day changing wet pants and talking about going potty and I hate to quit now! Do I just persevere?
Posted by: M.T. | August 24, 2007 8:21 PM
