September 5, 2007 3:51 PM
A mother whose life has been renewed and radically changed - and even more good news!
Greta sent this as a comment, but I'm going to run it here - not only because I'm always grateful to hear that God has used my writing to help someone see something HE wanted them to see - but mostly to make sure we can all share in her joy!
I am certainly a late bloomer. I was raised in a Christian home, the daughter of medical missionaries to an overpopulated third world country. Most of my childhood years were spent tagging along with missionaries in the hospital. I was surrounded by children who were malnourished and diseased. I was confronted with death at an early age. There was a lot of talk about family planning and overpopulation.My parents were very loving, but I don’t remember ever hearing that children were a blessing. I remember hearing that WE never acted, “like that†(other children). I heard a lot about how naughty children were, and how they were very manipulative, and had to be managed. We have very dear friends who had 7 children and they were, well, a little bit looked down on.
This was my upbringing.
I decided to not have any children. I knew far too well how many things could go wrong, and I just couldn’t handle it. I had an extremely soft heart that was covered with a hard-as-nails exterior.
God started sending me people who, over and over again, would out of the blue say that I would be a great Mother. I didn’t hear God’s voice in it at that time. After about 7 years of marriage, I was able to start spending more time with our dear friends with 7 children. I loved them so much, and they have such a beautiful family. The mother, Mary, is very much like a second Mother to me. God started to work on my heart.
One day I realized that the parable of the talents in the Bible directly applied to this issue. God had indeed gifted me to be a good Mother, but I was scared and rebellious, and buried that talent against His will. I was changed, but, “it wasn’t a good time for a babyâ€.
Years started going by and it wasn’t ever, “a good time to have a babyâ€. I really wanted a baby so much, and at times felt bitter that I “couldn’t†have one. My husband and I moved from PA to MT so he could attend graduate school, and I was the sole financial supporter. While at work in MT (2005), I discovered Mommylife. I really needed it, and everything I read spoke to me. At the same time, Mary was able to really be frank with me and encouraged me to stop using birth control and put this all in God’s hands. At that moment, I decided to. I knew that it was the right thing to do. Why did I EVER feel like I couldn’t trust God in this area?! I prayed for the right time to talk to my husband, and when it came, he agreed! We were scared but happy!! We knew from that moment that if God gave us a baby, it would be on His terms, that I would stay at home, and we wanted to home school.
Just over a year later, my beautiful daughter, Anneke was born. I announced the pregnancy on Mommylife the day after I found out, and before we had told anyone! We had been married for 9 years. I was 35. From the moment I was pregnant with her, I wanted a million more. I had been given a heart for a large family. She’s almost 18 months old now, and now I can say like I said in July 2005, I just found out last night that I am pregnant (again)!! Praise the Lord for His goodness to me. His grace and mercy overwhelm me.
I deeply regret my past. If only I hadn’t been rebellious to God’s plan for my life. I wish I hadn’t waited so long. I wish I could change a lot of things.
I am raising my daughter differently. I pray that she will find a godly husband early in life, and that they would welcome many children into their home. I pray she will be a better Mama than I am. I tell her how sweet babies and children are and affirm her mothering of the toys she loves.
There are many moms out there who have shared about changes in their lives so intimate that I really feel they are my spiritual daughters. I have been watching Greta grow and change almost since this blog began. You can see a picture of her in the Apron Contest and read her writing here. She's #38 and her husband left a beautiful comment too!
Greta, we all have made mistakes. As you know from reading here, I've made my share too. We are just so blessed that God keeps reaching for us and giving us more confidence in how much we can grow and change if we surrender our lives into his care. And I am blessed that he can take a humble blog and use it for His glory!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your good news! Keep us posted on your pregnancy! We will be praying for your family!
Posted in Inspiration, Mothering, Pro-Life Issues | Permalink
Comments
Congratulations!! I had the first of my four children after almost 10 years of marriage at age 35. Enjoy the gifts of the children that you have. Having had more miscarriages than births I wonder what would have happened if I had had children earlier. I truly believe that I would have had only 2 and not even realized the joy or possibility of having more. If your children know that you consider them especially and children in general to be a blessing from God you will have given your grandchildren a fabulous gift. Blessings on you, your husband and daughter as you wait to open your new gift.
Jane
Posted by: Jane Duquette | September 6, 2007 12:00 AM
Greta, congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Just last night my SIL called to announce she's having her 5th. I must say, I'm starting to get a little jealous!! :)
Posted by: Michelle Potter | September 6, 2007 8:59 AM
