November 15, 2007 3:50 PM
Why have children in an imperfect world?
From my inbox - I asked the writer if I could pose her question here for readers to answer:
Hello.
I ran across your article on challenging the norms of the culture concerning the number of children to bear.
I have only been married for 5 years and and now 40. My philosophy has always been, and more so as a Christian, not to bear children because of the progressively worsening state of affairs in this world. I have read the "end-time" chapters of the Bible that leave me to believe it a selfish thing to physically bear children in this day and time. I whole-heartedly support adoption and taking responsibility to nurture children who are "thrown away" by their parents or society. I also do not use birth control because of the understanding that it can cause abortions and as a result have had a little girl who is now 2. She's beautiful, but I look at her and want to apologize every time I watch the news, local and national for more than five minutes even though I know God has a plan for her life.
Help me, if you can, strike a balance in my thinking because there is certainly some merit to both positions, I believe. What are your thoughts? I am open to truth.
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Comments
I distinctly remember the day.... I was driving down a long road in Grand Forks North Dakota when I heard some incredibly disheartening news on the radio. I put my hand on my unborn baby and cried out to God saying - "How could we have created a child with our world like this!"
Instantly and so clearly I heard God speak to my heart- He said "You didn't, I did."
His words immediately humbled me and gave me clear perspective - He is in control. He decides who is born and when. He knows what is going on and He made my little girl for such a time as this.
Those four little words have brought me much comfort over Eve's short years of life, and also why I am peaceful about each child I birth into this world.
-Andrea
Posted by: Andrea | November 15, 2007 4:23 PM
I think one important thing to remember is that, as Christians, we're not really born for this world. The world to come is SO much more important. By saying "yes" to God's gift of children, we help Him create more people who will glorify His name here and hereafter. As Christians, we don't believe that the soul is "backwardly immortal," like Plato did. We haven't always been around. God creates a unique soul at the conception of each child. That soul is (what a philosophy dork like me would call) "forwardly immortal"--it will last for all eternity, onward from the point of its making.
The original author need only raise her little girl in such a way that she grows up to do her part to make this fallen world better. Her real purpose (the real purpose of any of us) is to praise and glorify God. As long as she continues to "look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come," helping God create more people doesn't seem like such a bad idea, after all.
Posted by: Layla | November 15, 2007 5:40 PM
Yes the world is full of suffering, but suffering does not have to lead to despair. The Bible says to rejoice in sufferings because they make us like Christ.
If the suffering in the world grieves you...imagine what God feels? And yet He (unlike us) has options. He could destroy the planet and wipe His hands of it. He could decide the heck with free-will and turn us into well-behaved robots. But He doesn't...and yet we call Him the God of love. If you honestly believe that (and I certainly do) then you must accept that whatever the Big Picture is...it is truly an awesome and glorious finale to be worth all this pain now.
Posted by: Paigeu | November 15, 2007 5:56 PM
As a Christian, I believe the human condition is fallen. There's nothing we humans can do, on our own, to redeem it. So of course there is pain, of course there is struggle. And there has been for as long as there have been humans on earth. It may seem to us that things are worsening, but I can think of bleaker times in human history (just for the Israelites alone!). We weren't there for all of them....but God was.
God knows much more than we do. He says "be fruitful and multiply." We don't have to understand it, but we should pay attention to it.
It may be that we will never know or understand the value or significance of our lives or our children's lives. We don't have to know how the story turns out. God already does. As long as we follow his commands, we can count on him to take care of the rest.
Posted by: Kirsten | November 15, 2007 6:14 PM
I understand so much how you feel! What mother or father has not felt that? It strikes so deep in our heart! I think of Mary standing before Jesus, crucified. Suffering, yet trusting.
However, who is it who wants us to despair, to give up, to feel it is not worth it? It is not God whispering this in your ear! When we are overwhelmed by fear we must remember that it is only the Father of Lies who tells us not to trust, not to hope.
You know, even though all of us suffer, God has so much joy to give us, so much peace. We have children because God desires that unique person to live, to love, to give Him glory!
Of course your little ones will have suffering in their lives. But think -- will not the joy outshine the darkness? The joy of family love, taking a breath, singing, eating ice cream, crunching fall leaves, having their own children, perhaps, in time!
And what of the joy, help, and service those little ones will someday give others? It is awesome to think of.
What if Mary, in fear, had said, "No?" The Lord has overcome the Lord of this World. Light does outshine the darkness. If you pray for that hope and faith, you will know what to do.
The suffering ones need your prayers and your compassion. It is ok to just enjoy your little one and any more God gives you in his mercy and grace. God bless you and your family.
Michele B.
Posted by: Michele Burford | November 15, 2007 8:09 PM
WOW. I am the original writer and I certainly came to the right place to receive the answer I needed. I appreciate all the comments but especially identify with those of Michele B. It was meant for me to read! Thanks so much. I think "HOPE" is going to be my prayer focus for a while. I do trust God, but I see that hope for the here-and-now has escaped me.
Posted by: Lynette | November 16, 2007 4:03 AM
I think we need to remember that God has a plan, and it is a plan that may extend well beyond our lifetimes. We talk a lot about being ready for the end times to come "any minute now," but what if they are still a long way off? Are we to be like the virgins who did not bring enough oil for their long wait? What if we give up on this world before God is done with it?
Understand, we won't hamper God's plan if we give up too soon. He can rise up descendants of Abraham from the rocks, and he can call upon the stones and the trees to worship Him if we do not. But if we give up, we don't get to be part of that plan.
Posted by: Michelle Potter | November 16, 2007 8:51 AM
Such wonderful advice from the previous writers!
I do have a few more thoughts to share:
In the Catholic Church, we are taught that children are the Supreme Gift of marriage. Wow! If you think about that, it implies many, many things.
The only things we bring into eternity are our CHILDREN. Just think how much more outrageously wonderful our eternity will be with our children?
We are also taught that children contribute greatly to the well-being of the parents. Indeed, in raising children, we ourselves must practice virtue and in doing so, we grow spiritually.
And, as mothers, we change the world one diaper at a time. If we raise our children to be loving, kind, thoughtful, generous, strong Christians, and the list goes on, we are doing something very profound to help change the bad in our world to good. For example, pro-life families have statistically more children than the pro-aborts. So eventually the pro-life movement will win because we'll outnumber the pro-aborts one day!
The last thought I have is that, Pope John Paul II said that the greatest gift parents can give to their children is the gift of a sibling. I pondered those words many times as our younger ones were born and the older ones were called to learn to sacrifice more in daily living. Yet, these words are so true! Each sibling has brought more joy, hope, and love to our family, and especially our youngest who has D.S. How can I explain the gift his disability has had on our family? His disability has really become the rest of the family's strength. Who would have thought?
Also the words of John Paul II: Do not be afraid!
Peace in Christ, Julie C.M.
Posted by: Julie C.M. | November 16, 2007 10:09 AM
