December 31, 2007 8:50 AM
Happy Birthday, Sophia!
That's my girl!
Sophia turned 18 on December 28. Like many Christmas babies, she's always been suspicious of neglect around her birthday. Probably rightly so. It's hard to get worked up about another birthday (especially in a family where not a month goes by without one or two or three) when you're collapsing from Christmas. I mean collapsing in the most pleasant way, of course :)
Every baby changes your life. Sophia changed mine more than most.
With two older daughters (born in 1969 and 1975) I'd brought into my marriage with Tripp, plus four boys in a row born 1983-1986, we were anxious to see what God had in store for us this time around. Having a string of boys was wonderful fun, but I must admit my thoughts were turned toward something a little more feminine than mechanical toys and boy noises (did you know that studies show boys using words only 60 per cent of the time and a variety of colorful noises the remainder, while girls use words almost exclusively? For more, see The Truth about Boys and Girls). And I'll say right up front that in spite of being surrounded by brothers and all things boy, Sophia was never interested in their stuff. Of course today, like her brothers, she plays a mean game of rugby. . . .
I was 41 and expecting no surprises with my seventh child. The doctor who'd delivered all my boys had quit her practice and I had a new red-headed male doctor who pulled out all the charts to show me how increased my risk for producing a baby with Down syndrome, but accepted my refusal of testing graciously. We got along fine.
The baby was due in January. But in November, things started getting weird. My blood pressure shot up - and though now I realize that this was probably because I was overweight, my doctor didn't confront me about it (I really believe doctors should confront their patients about this health issue just like they do about smoking - why does overweight continue to be something friends and family tiptoe around? And just to be accountable, I have 10 pounds to take off from my own over-indulgence through the holidays... :)
But I digress - as I am wont to do when the kids are still asleep. . .
In November I was ordered to bed rest. I remember we had tickets to see a musical and I couldn't go that year. Everything had to be very simple. It was the year I rethought Christmas. At the time we were pretty well-off and had been way over-indulgent with our kids. We had been Christians for just two years, and while some things changed immediately, we were always finding patterns and habits that needed to be rethought. That year, since I couldn't get out there really weren't a lot of presents. And it was fine.
That year, since I was on the couch, we had Chinese carry-out for Christmas dinner - a tradition we've carried on with only a few exceptions since.
On the morning of December 28, I had an appointment for a check-up. The doctor felt I was on the verge of toxemia and so I went into the hospital immediately, where my labor was induced and I had an otherwise natural childbirth, producing the wonderful surprise of a girl!
We named her Sophia Rose. Sophia means wisdom. In 1988, according to the Baby Name Wizard - a site which you will love - Sophia ranked #244 in popularity. Today it is #9. With all my girls' names - Samantha (1969), Jasmine (1975), Sophia (1989), and Madeleine (1994) I chose unusual names which became popular later. But, who knew? And the important thing is that they all like their names.
Sophia was all pink and all girl. Last night I asked her her first memory and she said it was pink. She was adored by all during the day. At night, she was another story - the most inconsolable and loudest-wailing baby I'd ever met. In desperation, Tripp would often leave in his pajamas to take her for rides through the country as the car seemed to be the only place where she would fall asleep peacefully.
Last night at our family celebration (I always make the birthday person's favorite dinner, which - depending on the Birthday Person - can be as simple as fish sticks and Top Ramen or as elaborate as Spanish Paella. Sophia requested Shrimp Gumbo, so I found a basic recipe, hunted down some okra and produced an authentic Shrimp Gumbo for dinner. It was well worth the effort and I recommend giving it a try - only with a lot more hot sauce! Thanks, Sophia, for continuing to help me push the envelope motherhood-wise!) we were remembering the time we'd all been at a family camp for Marin Covenant Church at Mt. Gilead in Sonoma County California. The cabins are open air there, with walls halfway up and a roof, housing only bunks inside. Our family - including son-in-law Kip and his mother were all staying in a cabin together. Around 3 in the morning, Sophia began to wail. And she wailed and she wailed until other cabins awoke. Tripp bundled her off for a ride, then afraid to disturb her spent the rest of the night in the car with her.
She is still high maintenance today - and proud of it, as attested to by the sign on her bedroom door: Drama Queen. We went through some exceedingly hard mother/daughter times during her early teens - times which made me wonder if there were limits to a mother's love.
But thank God that He's there to guide us through the rough times and give us hope for the future. I really didn't have long to wait before Sophia and I were fully connected again. Is our relationship perfect? No more than any other mother/teen daughter's. But there is an underlying trust that we can weather any emotional storm and be secure that we love each other.
With Sophia, there's a lot to be proud of. When we moved to Virginia from California in 2002, Sophia made the transition to public school. It was a tough time for her, but I knew she needed to begin to separate from me to come out of her shell and reach her full potential. Today I know for sure that was the right decision. Sophia has blossomed to become an outstanding student with lots of friends whose faith is very much part of her daily life. She loves to laugh.
Although she was a late reader (I was used to teaching kids to read at 4 or 5 and she didn't read until 7), she caught up fast. Today she adores books, loves to hang out at Borders with brother Zach, and has read all of Jane Austen several times, as well as tons of science fiction. She's been a responsible driver and very helpful in getting Maddy and Jonny places they need to go. In fact, I'll be doing a lot more driving next year when she goes to college. She's decided on her own to go to Liberty University for at least one year because brothers Ben and Zach will still be there next year and she wants to share that experience with them (oddly enough, she's never been in the same school with any of her siblings).
Did I mention she is talented? Sophia is a gifted actress and is usually cast in the challenging character roles. No one who saw her will forget her as Madame Thenardier in Les Miserables at LVHS:
Here's a picture I took a few months ago of my sweet Sophia Rose:
Sophia, when I look at your sweet face, I am amazed how God could take my genes and your dad's to produce such loveliness! But the wonderful thing is, Sophia, you are as lovely inside as out!
Happy 18th birthday and may all the years to come be filled with God's goodness and grace!
Love,
Mom
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Comments
Happy Birthday, Sophia! What a blessing and a very necessary addition to your family. May God bless you and watch over you in this upcoming year of wonderful changes.
Posted by: Greta | December 31, 2007 1:10 PM
AW- she's gorgeous! What a fun story, Barbara. Wish her a happy birthday for me........Tell her that I'm reminding her to always keep God first in her life, and she will never regret it.
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | December 31, 2007 2:04 PM
Happy Birthday Sophia!
Oh....to be eighteen again! Blessings to you.
Posted by: LadyLovas | December 31, 2007 3:22 PM
Sophia,
Happy Birthday and Happy New year! What a blessing to be born as the new year begins. Daughters are such a Blessing and such good friends to their Mamas, especially when the house is full of boys!
God Bless you all this year.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 31, 2007 8:07 PM
She is lovely! You certainly can see the mother/daughter resemblance!
Posted by: Elena | January 1, 2008 5:12 PM
Happy Belated Birthday Sophia. My brother AND his daughter both share December 25th. As their birthdays, talk about getting gipped!! Looking at your mom it is obvious where you get your beauty!
Posted by: J. Wheeler | January 2, 2008 11:36 AM
She looks very much like you, Barbara! A beauty!
Posted by: Monica | January 2, 2008 5:48 PM
