December 3, 2007 9:35 AM
Montessori at Home #13
I have emails in my Inbox from moms who are frustrated with their lives and who can't get a handle on settling their children down. I am so sorry that while I promise to answer every email, it sometimes takes me a while to get to them. I am working on a deadline writing devotionals today. Tomorrow morning I have an IEP meeting with Jesse's team at 9 and then I fly to Boston for a few days to cover a court appeal on parental notification laws brought by parents who want to opt their elementary children out of the reading of picture books like King & King read to them. I am really looking forward to meeting the brave parents involved and capturing this story for readers all over the country.
Which is all by way of saying that it will be a while before I can answer individually.
While I don't like to gratuitously plug my books, I just want to say that all the answers I have are there. I had only one child when I was trained as a Montessori teacher - never dreaming someday I'd have 12. I have practiced the principles I learned at home with my children and I know they work. You can raise children who are independent (in the best sense of that word), self-controlled, able to concentrate, and with a sense of order.
Are my kids perfect? Not by a long shot? Am I perfect? Ditto. But I have seen that having a vision and a plan and some practical proactive strategies works wonders in producing kids who grow into graceful adults.
If you are frustrated/at the end of your rope/perplexed/clueless/unhappy with your motherhood, I can only recommend that you get my books. Read the reviews at Amazon to see how other readers have benefited from reading them. If you can't afford them, ask your library to get them for you - that's what libraries are for :)
My purpose is to help moms realize their full potential as moms while teaching them how to help their children reach their potential. My books are extremely reader-friendly and easy to read in ten minute snatches. Remember, I've been a mother of young children for 38 years. Because I've adopted, I still have six at home. I'm in touch with the life you lead.
One word of encouragement: these young years are the most demanding in terms of surrendering selfishness and sustaining your energy. With a little understanding of the spiritual/intellectual/emotional development patterns God built into your children, you can begin to meet their needs more effectively. Meeting their needs does not mean picking out their clothes and dressing them. It means equipping them to do everything themselves and to become contributing members of the family - which will later translate into their relationship with society at large.
Your child's confidence and contentment are based on how well we understand and provide for these needs.
If you are new here and want more ideas on improving your home life by providing for the potentials God has built into your child, click on Categories above, then click on Montessori.
One thing to do right now: begin to make your child aware of his movements. When he makes too much noise closing a door, go to the door with him and quietly draw his attention as you put your hand on the knob/handle. Show him quietly how when you turn the knob or push down on the handle, the little thingy on the edge goes into its compartment.. Now slowly close the door with the handle down and the thingy in. Only when the door is shut do you release the handle. Then say "Did you hear anything?" "Do you want to try to do it quietly too?
Ditto the toilet seat. Demonstrate how to set it down without making a sound. Demonstrate how to move and use things in the environment gracefully and quietly.
Take the time to model how to do things like emptying the dishwasher, placing each plate on its stack Q-U-I-E-T-L-Y. In these instances, noise is what Montessori teachers call "control of error" - the signal that something is not right. Teaching the child to focus on these small movements and giving him a control of error provides him with a challenge which teaches concentration and self-control.
When you begin this kind of physical training early, it carries through to the teen years and into the moral realm. A child who has this early foundation has built a history of confidence that he can control his actions.
In the meantime, because these are potential God has built into children, as we learn to meet them we see our children grow more content and at peace with themselves.
So wherever you are in your motherhood, please don't give up! It's not just our children that God has built potentials into. It is us as well. When you feel overwhelmed, just remember Elisabeth Elliot's advice: Do the next thing.
Which is what I need to do now - the next thing. Please, those of you waiting for a response from me, know that it is coming - maybe while I'm away from home and in my hotel this week. But in the meantime, if you have my books, read them. If you don't and if what I've said resonates, get them from your library or order them at my website Mommy, Teach Me! (scroll down to see all my books).
Posted in Montessori, Mothering, Preschoolers, Toddlers | Permalink
