December 17, 2007 8:47 PM
Evangelical to Catholic: my journey #12
[Note: this is part of a continuing series chronicling my journey from evangelicalism to Catholicism. This series is not meant to cause division, but to reveal division already there - and to spark honest discussion. As an evangelical I've heard and continue to hear lots of criticism of the Catholic church but little self-examination on the Protestant side. So if my comments seem more directed towards questioning nonCatholic believers, that is why. Please, if you are new to this discussion, realize that a lot of ground has already been covered in the comments and read through those on previous entries before rehashing old news. I am receiving a lot of feedback that this has been an eye-opening and thought-provoking series for many believers on either side. If that is the case, then I consider my call as a writer fulfilled. I can only hope that each of us is examining his/her conscience for areas of stubbornness, presumption and pride.]
As far as my continuing journey into Catholicism, I've been reluctant to share as much as I'd like out of concern that my evangelical friends might think that I am critical of my experience in the evangelical church.
I want to emphasize that that is not the case at all. I was completely content in the nondenominational bible church our family has attended for several years. In fact, I would say the believers I've met there are the cream of the crop - people who are completely dedicated to their faith and their family. Almost everyone homeschools and there are many, many large families and families who've adopted children. While the church once had a reputation of legalism, grace has triumphed over that and the church has definitely become an open and humble body. I have made some close friends there and found the women to be very transparent and real. I lan to continue whatever relationships I can.
My new calling has come as a complete surprise to me. But I will follow where God leads. As with my call to surrender my life to Christ on March 21, 1987, this involved a leap of faith which I could certainly not have justified to anyone who tried to pick it apart with logic or reason. But the truth and grace of that decision/surrender has only become more real as time has gone by - 20 years, to be exact.
In a similar way, though it has only been a few months, I am already beginning to see the truth behind the decision I've made. And really it began to be revealed in the unexpected reaction stirred by my announcement here. God really began to show me the mentality of protest and the endless arguing over scripture for the squandering of rich resources they are.
I appreciate the Mass for its simplicity and confident reliance on Scripture and the remembrance provided by the celebration of the Eucharist. To me this seems more real and vital and more of an invitation for the Holy Spirit to move within my soul than listening to 30-40 minutes exposition based on one man's interpretation of the scripture (and why do Protestants criticize the concept of Catholic priests as intermediaries when in practice they treat their pastors that way?). Not that I don't believe in the value of Bible study, but the other elements of worship seem far more important and reliable and unifying to me.
Reliable especially because as anyone who's visited more than a couple churches knows, there are just too many different Protestant templates to take one particular one as The Final Word.
I am also receiving a lot of private correspondence from people who've made this same journey or are in the midst of contemplating making it.
Yes, many people leave the Catholic Church not knowing Jesus and find Him in evangelicalism. But I would argue that those who turn from evangelicalism to Catholicism do indeed know Jesus but are being obedient as God calls them to the historical continuity and unity of the Church.
My purpose here is not to proselytize, though I am certainly happy to hear of others whose thoughts have been stimulated and who have begun to find some answers to questions they've been only vaguely aware of. My purpose is to share my life. And my purpose is in sharing it to cause people to examine their prejudices and allow God's perspective to enter their hearts.
I was once prejudiced against the Catholic Church and once was skeptical/judgmental/dismissive of Catholics. I am all too aware of these feelings, which some Catholic readers here have been very surprised to hear openly expressed. Some never even know how bad the prejudice was until it was revealed in comments here.
Saturday I called a friend of mine who I met many years ago (1995 I think) via Internet message boards because we both have sons with Down syndrome. It turned out that in 2002 I moved to the same county she lived in. She is Catholic and while we spent a little time together, it always seemed that there was something between us.
Now I know that something was me.
I called Cindy Saturday to tell her I'd become a Catholic. She was very happy for me. When I mentioned the misunderstanding generated by my conversion, she said, "Barbara, I know. I became a Catholic when I was 29. I was raised in a church where Catholicism was criticized from the pulpit. Even as a little girl I knew it was wrong for them to say the things they said."
Dropping that bondage of criticism and prejudice and protest has been very liberating. What I am experiencing is probably a taste of heaven as I see the broadness in God's glory and acceptance and love for his children. It must be like we parents feel when our children misunderstand/dislike/ do not accept each other and we love them all without taking sides. But on a much more perfect scale.
God loves us. He loved my friend the same way He loved me. My misjudgment of her did not effect her standing before Him. And her continued love of me even knowing how I must have felt about her - as an inferior Christian, if a Christian at all - was a refining part of her walk with God (blessed are they that persecute you for my name's sake. . . . )
Now I am standing where she has stood, but it's okay - because through people like Cindy and all the other faithful Catholics I have known, God has given me a picture of forbearance and grace.
Next up: an interesting email exchange prompted by the WIBAWIB series.
Posted in Evangelical to Catholic, My life | Permalink
Comments
Your story is interesting and your journey into catholicism and experience of evangelical Church are great to know and thanks for sharing your story.
Posted by: Church | December 18, 2007 2:32 AM
Barbara, I just wanted to comment on how inspired I am to witness this unfolding journey in your life right now. I have enjoyed your column for several months now--ever since it was referenced in another blog that I frequent.
The courage, candor, and care with which you have presented your journey thus far is truly an encouragement to me in my own faith.
Also. . .I love words. Today I am particularly loving a new word phrase which you have coined for me: "refining part." Oh, that my eyes would be opened wide to see all the "refining parts" in my life! ;-)
Thank you.
Posted by: Fran | December 18, 2007 1:42 PM
I think what has interested me most in this entire conversation is the idea that the behavior of Protestants (which covers a LOT of different theological thought) seems to matter more to many people than what the church itself is teaching. I guess I just don't think this way at all, which is why it surprises me. All churches have "good" and "bad" members, and very unfortunately, member behavior doesn't always reflect the actual faith of the church. I dunno...maybe I'm radical, but I think it matters much more what the church is actually teaching. Is everything Bible-based? Or are they adding to the Bible? Do I agree with the church's interpretation of the Bible? Etc.
Posted by: Kristina | December 18, 2007 2:55 PM
