January 17, 2008 3:53 PM
A modern day Proverbs 31
Tripp was leaving one morning and seeing me already at work on my Ebay/Amazon/PaperbackSwap listings - not to mention my blog - commented on Proverbs 31. Which got me thinking about doing an update until I found someone had beat me to it.
Meet Anita Neuman, who gave me permission to reprint her modern take take on Proverbs 31 (for those not familiar with this, you might want to first read the biblical original to appreciate the humor):
10 A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies; so buy her diamonds.11 Her husband knows that she has everything under control and he has nothing to complain about.
12 She is the source of the goodness in his life, not the harm.
13 She selects denim and cotton-poly blends from the discount rack and works eagerly with her hands to remove the price stickers so her children will not know that their trendy clothes were bought on clearance.
14 She shops at Target and WalMart and occasionally goes all the way across town to Meijer in order to get the best value for her money.
15 She is up before the sun, pouring cereal and packing lunches.
16 She considers an old dresser at a yard sale and buys it, and with the money she saved on her grocery bill, she is able to buy paint and new knobs for the dresser.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; she can carry two loads of laundry and a child without breaking a sweat.
18 She sells the dresser on E-Bay and stays up late waiting to see how much profit she's made.
19 She replaces missing buttons and mends holes in everyone's clothing.
20 She donates to the food bank and gives blood regularly.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; it's too bad if they don't like the bright red hats and scarves; at least they'll be warm.
22 She makes the beds and manages to pull together matching outfits for herself.
23 Her husband goes off to work, where he sits with the other businessmen.
24 She chooses something she's good at and figures out how to make money by doing it.
25 Outwardly, she is clothed with strength and dignity, even if she's missing an under-wire and she had to grab a longer skirt to hide the huge hole in her pantyhose. She can laugh at the days to come because all the kids' science projects are done, and last year's Halloween costume will be adequate for the school play.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and consistent instruction is on her tongue.
27 She pays the bills and makes sure everyone gets to the right swimming lessons on the right day. She does not eat the bread of idleness, because she is on Atkins.
28 Her children yell, "Thanks, Mom" as they grab their lunch and run out the door. Her husband also says,
29 "Thanks, Babe. You're the best."
30 Charm only gets you so far, and beauty is temporary, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her respect wherever she goes.
Anita Neuman is a singer/songwriter, public speaker and author. She and her husband and their two daughters are currently in Ethiopia, working with SIM’s HOPE for AIDS projects. You can visit her at Carry the Treasure.
Thanks, Anita, for allowing me to print this at MommyLife!
Posted in Humor, Inspiration, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
That was wonderful!
I just got all kinds of "Atta Girls" from that one.
Thanks Anita, for giving us a joyful perspective and a smile!
Thanks Barbara, for putting this on your bog and introducing us to Anita.
Posted by: Jennifer | January 17, 2008 6:38 PM
love the modern rendition. thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Joel | July 29, 2008 9:32 PM
