January 21, 2008 4:55 PM
Have your views on abortion changed?
This is where I'll be tomorrow morning - and at the March for Life later on. I'm on the speaker line-up with just 20 minutes to share.
My motto as a writer and speaker comes from a Frank Capra movie - Meet John Doe: Say something simple and real, something with hope in it.
I'd like to share the positive effect blogs are having in breaking down the polarization between abortion supporters and those who identify themselves as Pro-Life.
My own background: a Second Wave feminist who fought and was involved in pro-abortion litigation prior to Roe v Wade - who thought feminism was about way more than equal pay and abortion. Who still can't understand why feminists sacrifice respect and dignity for women to support politicians who are pro-abortion.
As someone who was in on the early days of abortion - and had one myself - I can say that never in our wildest dreams did we think that abortion would become a form of birth control ending up in 1.5 million deaths per year and wiping out 1/4 of the next generation. Why aren't feminists worried about the message that sends about women and children - that our lives and decisions are worth so little?
But I digress - as usual :)
What I'd really like to take to the Blogs 4 Life conference is a message of reality and hope. How are blogs affecting the way readers perceive abortion and other life-related issues? How has the Internet/how have blogs changed the way you think about abortion?
I'm asking because some of my readers have shared that they have been led by stuff they've read here to question their preconceived notions about abortion. Many were unaware of the number of babies aborted. Some had never considered the psychological implications for a generation growing up knowing that their parents had the power of life and death over them. Many are awakening to the fact that the Boomer Generation in its selfishness has created a huge societal problem as it grows to demand longer and better living - with Social Security benefits paid for by a population base shrunken - not by pestilence, famine or flood, but by their own hands.
What I would love to fill my 20 minutes with tomorrow is your words.
Please leave a comment here to let me know how your own thinking about abortion has been changed in the last few years through this blog or others.
Also, since disability awareness is a pro-life issue (90% of babies diagnosed in utero with Down syndrome are aborted): I've heard from some of you that you are no longer afraid - or as afraid - of having a baby with Down syndrome. If you are one of those people, can you leave your comment here too please?
I will be leaving for the conference tomorrow at 5am, so going to bed early (I hope). You can continue to leave comments and discuss these ideas here for as long as you want. But I would love to have many to take with me tomorrow.
Thanks for being the best audience of readers around. I can't tell you how much it means to me that we don't all have to be on the same page or walk in lock-step to be friends and to stand on our common ground of raising children. And I always appreciate when I share an emailed question from another readers and you all speak with such wisdom, dignity and grace.
Feeling very grateful for you all today!
. For the third year in a row, I will be attending the March For Life next Tuesday, January 22 - the 35th anniversary of Roe v Wade. (will be blogging more on this subject in the next few days).
Posted in Pro-Life Issues | Permalink
Comments
Blogging takes things out of the realm of the hypothetical... you can get to know the real people who have had these experiences and that promotes understanding.
Posted by: Tara | January 21, 2008 10:13 AM
Blogging about abortion in general is very effective, as it makes the message more accessible to people. You can read in the comfort of your own home for as long as you like. You don't have to go to a rally to hear the message. You don't have to wait for the topic to come up on t.v. or the radio to hear it. It is there whenever you want to hear it.
In particular, reading blogs such as yours where a woman has the courage to admit to and talk about her abortion is so vital. Hearing from someone who has had that experience first hand makes it more real. So often people think there are only two distinct sides to the abortion story. Pro-lifers who have never had and never would consider having an abortion, and pro-choicers who have had abortions and have no regrets. It can give people the illusion that abortion is an easy thing once you've decided to do it. You don't hear very often from the women who have had an abortion and regret it because there can be such a sense of shame that goes along with it. They can feel judged by the anti-abortion community for having the abortion in the first place, and from the pro-abortion community for regretting their choice. You don't often hear first hand how damaging abortion is to women. So blogging about this not only makes people aware of this third group, it also gives the women of this group the courage to admit and talk about their abortions. I think the stories of women who have had abortions and regret them are very powerful. To hear someone say "I did this, it was wrong. I regret if very much. Abortion hurts our unborn children and it hurts women. Abortion is not good for anyone." is a powerful thing. People may tune out the messages about abortion from both pro-abortion and anti-abortion sides, tiring of hearing the same things over and over, but it is very difficult to ignore the painful and honest stories of post-abortion women. Their message does more than say that abortion is wrong on principle alone. It comes from real experience. The abortion is morally wrong message still needs to be told to all who will listen, and told loudly, but in doing so we shouldn't shame or guilt these women into silence. Their stories are important and need to be told and blogging is a very effective way to tell them.
Posted by: Donna | January 21, 2008 2:35 PM
For everyone's information...Nancy Leigh DeMoss is also doing an interview with Nancy Lincoln this week about the consequences of abortion at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/.
Posted by: Julia | January 21, 2008 4:54 PM
Finding out that my baby had Down syndrome at 23 weeks pregnant was a devastating blow to say the least - compounded by the fact that I was encouraged to make the "right choice" for my family.
What was that "right" choice? According to my Doctor and Geneticist it was terminating the pregnancy. "Think about how having a disabled sibling will affect your son", "Over 90% of women in your situation choose to end the pregnancy", "You have nothing to feel guilty about." Is what I was told.
If there was nothing to feel guilty about and this is what everyone else was doing, it couldn't be wrong, right? Was having an abortion the easy way out?
I went home, more depressed then ever before. I went online, not to research about Down syndrome (as I had done plenty of searching on that end when I knew there was a 1/15 chance of my baby having Down syndrome) but to search about abortion. I needed to know that it would be an *okay* choice.
I found Pro-Life arguments, I found Pro-Choice arguments. But what I found most intriguing was the Blogs from the side you do not hear from. The women that have an abortion and regret having it.
I read about failed marriages, depression, alcoholism, suicide attempts - all because the choice was made to end the pregnancy. This is something I wanted to see, needed to see. Real people telling heartbreaking stories to make sure that I would not make the same devastating mistake that they had made.
And I never did.
Posted by: Felecia | January 21, 2008 7:09 PM
Blogging about and reading blogs about abortion has helped me understand the pro-abortion viewpoint - not agree with it, but understand where people are coming from - which has made me a more compassionate, accurate, and effective communicator about pro-life issues. Instead of wondering, "What are those crazy pro-abortion people thinking?" I actually understand why many of them believe the way they do, which is an important starting point in effective dialogue.
Reading your blog in particular, Barbara, has helped me so much as a young mother just starting my child-bearing phase of life. The thought of having a disabled child is no longer scary to me. In fact, I feel confident that I would joyfully welcome the challenge if God blesses us with a disabled birth child or leads us to adopt a disabled child. What has really affected my thinking is what you've written about stewardship - that you felt it was good stewardship to adopt boys with Down syndrome to use the skills and knowledge you had acquired with Jonny. That has profoundly shaped my thinking. I know so many Christian couples who say, "It's good stewardship to strictly limit the number of children we have so that we can give them a lot of material advantages."
I think your understanding of stewardship is far more Biblical.
Posted by: Becky Miller | January 21, 2008 10:37 PM
Hey Barbara,
I love your blog! My husband and I were pregnant with our first child last year. We knew from the beginning that we would accept any child that the Lord would bless us with. During my pregnancy, we refused all Down Syndrome tests. However, at 25 weeks, my doctor found a spot on the baby's heart, which was a marker for Down Syndrome. Needless to say, she ended up mentioning the possibility of a termination. My husband and I were quite upset,as she knew our feelings on the matter. I think doctors feel a tremendous pressure to advise terminations. It's so PC to me. :-( Anyways, my husband and I resolved that each and every baby is a blessing, no matter what. We feel so calm and serene in this matter. :-)
By the way, our baby girl was born in September, healthy as can be!
Aisha
Posted by: Aisha Hoffman | January 21, 2008 11:48 PM
From reading stories like yours and so many other women, I can definitely say that I'm not scared of having a down syndrome baby. Of course, there would be challenges, there are with every child. But my heart and my eyes have been opened. Thank you for sharing your story.
Beth
Posted by: Beth | January 22, 2008 12:07 AM
my views haven't really changed. i blogged about it here
this much i know is true
Posted by: laura | January 22, 2008 2:18 AM
I am the proud mother of 2 children. My oldest has Down Syndrome. Prior to the birth of first child, I had such a negative view of Down Syndrome. I really did not have much contact with persons with Down Syndrome, and the little I had left me depressed. I am so glad I did NOT know during my pregnancy that my child would be born with Down Syndrome. Now that I have a child of my own with Down Syndrome, I see how wrong my initial impression of Down Syndrome was. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and she surprises me every day. Now that I have one child with Down Syndrome, I feel that I could have ten! I wish that people with a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome had an opportunity to meet people/children with Down Syndrome so that they could see how precious they are. I shudder to think that I could have possibly considered aborting my child had I known her diagnosis. My attitude toward abortion has completely changed. All life is precious and has something to offer. I try to share my daughter with as many people as I come across, so that they can see all that Down Syndrome really is. I try to raise people's awareness of Down Syndrome so that they do not immediately thing of terminating a pregnancy if they are faced with the same situation.
Posted by: Laura S | January 22, 2008 12:05 PM
Barbara - I've been reading following your blog since last summer and love your insights. I'm attaching a link to a commentary on the Third Wave of opposition to abortion because I thought you'd find it interesting. The writer is John Piper and his site is desiringgod.org The direct link is
http://www.desiringgod.org/12all/index.php?action=archive&mode=view&mi=212&nl=1&ei=mail@kolbrek.com
God bless you - Tracey
Posted by: Tracey K | January 23, 2008 9:32 AM
