January 23, 2008 3:23 PM
Montessori at Home - a child-friendly environment
No mother has to experience the Terrible Twos (or Threes or Fours or Fives). All it takes is understanding and practicing a few Montessori principles to help your child sail gracefully through what can really be a thoroughly delightful and productive stage.
My Montessori training took nine months of 9-5. I never dreamed that one day as a mom I'd be practicing in my own home on 12 children of my own :) Which is what led me to write books (read about them here) to help moms put into practice the principles that were working so well for me. And then three years ago to begin this blog. If you are new to MommyLife, click on Categories above, then try Montessori, Homeschooling, Preschoolers, or Toddlers for many, many more posts offering encouragement and ideas for making life with your own little ones more harmonious. My goal has always been to help moms learn to release the potential for joyful learning potential God has built into each child - as well as to release the the joy of motherhood in your own life. Living with little children can be very, very challenging - I know because I've had a lot of them myself! But I also know that if I can do it you can too – you can create rich and rewarding moments that will benefit your children for life.
I am updating a series I wrote when this blog first started. I know I've been preoccupied with stuff having to do with my four sons who have Down syndrome and while that benefits some readers, most of you need encouragement and help with your own daily lives - so let's get back to basics:
The most important thing I learned as a Montessori teacher was to see the world through a child's eyes. I know that this revolutionized my motherhood. See, we're just too far removed from our own childhoods to remember how it was. We might remember specific events or even flashes of feeling -- but we just don't remember the helplessness and disconectedness that children experience because they are living in an environment built for people several times their size.
There's a Big Chair at a produce stand just “over the mountain†(a little Loudoun lingo for driving over the Blue Ridge into the neighboring county) from me. Here’s a picture my daughter Maddy took of me a couple years ago. They say a picture says a thousand words and I wanted to use this in my book Mommy, Teach Me! to stimulate some outside-the-box thinking about how it must feel to be a child in an adult-sized world.
You may see where I'm going with this. When we see the world through children's eyes, we have a little more compassion for the daily challenges they face. Yes, we might have bought them a child-sized table and chair – and I hope you have so they have a place that fits to color and do puzzles. It's one of the reasons kids love to go to preschool – because everything there fits them. But we can provide the same sense of belonging at home by rethinking our living spaces and making them more child-friendly.
Back when Samantha was little, children's furniture was hard to come by. These days it's everywhere, thanks to the influence of Montessori. My advice is to create little nooks here and there around the house for your child. Don't put your child's table and chair in her bedroom where it will collect dust – put it out where she will be part of family life. Put a small bookcase next to it with puzzles and manipulatives (sewing cards, pegboards, small blocks, etc scroll down here for more examples). Show her how to take a puzzle off the shelf, set it on the table and do it (encourage repetition – then how to put it back before taking out something else.
In later posts, I'll be speaking of how this simple change in your child's experience will lead to independence (the good kind), concentration, a sense of order, and a love of learning. In the meantime, we'll just think of it here as creating a child-friendly environment.
The second most helpful thing you can do is to provide step-stools for your child in strategic places so he can develop a larger vision. If you can imagine being three feet tall and wandering through the kitchen, you'll see how very limited the environment is for kids (although I do hope you let them play with the tupperware and pots and pans in the lower cabinets – c'mon, life's too short to worry about having the neatest kitchen in the world – before you know it your kids will be grown and gone and are they gonna think you're a better mom because the kitchen was spotless?)
Standing on a stool in the kitchen gives your child the opportunity to see what you're doing. Not only is it good for companionship, but it will surely spark an interest in helping – something you want to nurture. It is possible to teach a two year old to peel carrots, for example. I'll be showing you how in posts to come.
Put a peg rack at kids' level by the door so your child can get his own coat and hang it up when he comes in. Again, this isn't just child-friendly, but providing opportunities for independence.
Create a reading nook with a beanbag or cozy little chair next to a shelf of his own books (more later on encouraging reading).
Finally, I frame cards or small prints of classical paintings and hang them at kids' eye level throughout the house (another Montessori-inspired idea). By the reading nook, pictures like Fragonard's Girl Reading. By the coat rack, pictures of outdoor scenes like Renoir's Girl with a Watering Can. Scattered throughout the house, pictures like Homer's Snap the Whip and Van Gogh's Starry Night. Anything that you – now looking through the eyes of a child – find appealing. You can find these in greeting card racks, boxed note card sets, or a book of cards which is part of a total art program for kids -- Child-Sized Masterpieces
Oh, and place a few mirrors here and there at their height so they can see themselves.
Lastly, rethink everything in your child's daily life. Make sure he has access to the things he needs – that he can get out his own clothes, for instance – wherever possible so that he doesn't have to be dependent on you. Remember, parenting is one job you should be working yourself out of – to finally produce young men and women who can stand on their own two feet.
I am planning over the next few weeks to do a lot more Back to Basics stuff, interspersed with whatever else is on my mind each day. If you are new here, enjoy yourself as you begin to implement whatever changes resonate with you. Also, see my website Mommy, Teach Me! for more ideas.
And let me know how it goes!
Posted in Homeschooling, Montessori, Mothering, Preschoolers, Toddlers | Permalink
Comments
It was gratifying to read this post and realize that I've done almost all that you suggested since I started reading your books and blog 6 months ago. The only thing that hasn't been a hit with my non-art-interested 3 year old are the pictures on the wall...but I enjoy them, so all's good. :) Thanks to you, our house is now child-friendly!!! Can't wait to read more...
Posted by: Leilani | January 23, 2008 5:28 PM
I love these posts, I am learning so much! Thank you!
Posted by: Angela | January 23, 2008 11:08 PM
I have had seven kids pass through this stage and wish I had had some of the perspective you are sharing.
Thank God, I have #8. I get to do this again.
Posted by: Eva | January 24, 2008 11:27 AM
For a "stool" in the kitchen I use a big cooler flipped upside-down (minus the cover). It is very stable and offers a nice wide base to stand & move around on. My son loves it! Also, my Mom died before I had my son, but when my nephews were growing up she always called it the "Terrific Two's, Fantastic Fours, Fabulous Fives..." I can't remember what 3 was but for me it was the "Testing Three's" but often I would say TERRIFIC THREE'S and it would just help me so very much. So, there is alot to be said for positive thinking! Love your ideas!
Cheers!
Evelyn
Posted by: Evelyn | January 24, 2008 6:55 PM
This is a very useful article. I actually do all of those things already except for the pictures. I did have some but my daughter pulls them down to get the blutak. How do you manage to get your pictures to stay up?
Posted by: Susan | November 24, 2008 9:09 AM
