January 15, 2008 8:25 AM
Special ed in Loudoun County - one parent's perspective
Today I will be attending important meetings at two schools my children attend in Loudoun County.
[For new readers, I am a mother of 12 with four children with Down syndrome, three of whom are adopted - hence we are a family dealing with 4 IEPs and an unusual amount of experience with school personnel. This post has some stuff which may be useful to Loudoun County residents, but it addresses larger issues for anyone with kids with special needs in public schools.]
The first is a long-delayed meeting with our local school - where Justin would have attended kindergarten two years ago had Loudoun County not been encouraging busing special needs kids out of their communities to larger schools with more facilities. Though the first year I went along with the idea, that spring I called my local school to let them know I planned to enroll Justin in 2006. I was met with a chilly reception - "Well, you know, we don't have the facilities or room here." I should have continued to push for Justin's rights, but not wanting to send him where he wasn't wanted, I just went along with the plan for continuing to bus him to the other school, though begging for more inclusion.
More inclusion did not happen. So that spring I demanded that Justin be enrolled for a normal year of kindergarten at our local school, even though he had just turned 7. Because of Down syndrome he is smaller and his skill levels made that still very appropriate. It was a push, involving several meetings and a take-no-prisoners approach.
But to their credit, the school came up with a good plan and I have been exceedingly happy with the outcome. I actually do wake up thanking God for all the things that are going well - and one of them is Justin's successful inclusion and wonderful teachers.
Because there are two other families with kids with Down syndrome in our small town (coincidence? Or did this community need a little leavening?) and one is still bused out of district and the other mother had already faced a same chilly reception - he will enter kindergarten next year largely because Justin blazed the trail - there has been an ongoing situation where a stigma hangs over Down syndrome. Yes, I know everyone says how wonderful they are, but when you see the "special" kids getting bused out of the community, it leaves an impression on everyone. I can't help thinking how much more likely a mom in a "bus-out-the-DS-kids" community might be to abort a similar child than one who's seen a kid with DS loved and accepted and working alongside his peers.
Bottom line: excluding kids with Down syndrome from a local school has a negative impact on the community's perception of them - and on the community as a whole.
For this reason, I requested that we meet with advocates who could help us brainstorm some strategies/programs for increasing school/community awareness on disabilities.
That meeting will take place this morning at 11 and will include the other two sets of parents, the principal and whoever she has asked to be there, several school administration officials and two representatives from advocacy groups – LARC and PEATC.
At 1:00 I will walk into a meeting at Daniel’s school with Daniel’s new case manager/teacher, the principal, assistant principal, general ed teacher, two school administration officials and the two advocates I invited. This meeting is the culmination of a year-long ongoing crisis caused by a teacher that I feel abused her teaching authority and kept my son from receiving an appropriate education.
Ironically, I wake up every morning thanking God for this teacher too though – because it was the incredibly difficult struggle I had with her over Jesse and Daniel that became my wake up call to becoming a more hands-on parent when it came to directing the IEP process for all four of my sons. Honestly, I am so grateful that things did not go smoothly with her, as they had with other teachers, because it helped me see how much more work I needed to do to direct my sons’ education, how much more I needed to understand the law, and how much more professionally I needed to present myself in order to advocate for them.
So, thank you God for good teachers and bad ones. And for those of you in similar situations, let me just encourage you not to settle for bad situations with your children. Call advocates, attend workshops, learn all you need to learn to turn things around for your child. As Pete Wright of WrightsLaw says, “When they see you know more about the law than they do, they will begin to respect you.”
It is illegal for someone to obstruct your child’s entrance into his own local kindergarten unless you are fully informed and agree. It is illegal for teachers to tell you things like “If a child has a self-contained classroom placement, he can only have 40% inclusion.” In the course of the struggle I’ve had over Daniel’s education, I have heard several illegal remarks and he has endured discrimination.
The reason it has taken so long for me to deal with this is that when the Teacher I Thank God for Every Day sparked the conflict last year which pushed me to equip myself to be a better mother/advocate, I had to prioritize the kids’ needs. People without kids with special needs would be amazed how difficult and time-consuming this kind of stuff is and how depressing and defeating it is to deal with the obstructionist tactics by school personnel. Juggling that with all the necessary health/social/community stuff we do for our kids is just overwhelming – which is why it is easy for parents of kids with special needs to just leave it to the schools.
But my own experience is that you just can’t do this. Eventually you may meet the Teacher from Hell and you will be ill equipped to get your child what he needs.
My experience is that any type of criticism or feedback about the teacher will be 100% IGNORED by the school administration. As someone who once with my husband owned a business with employees who dealt with the public I have been absolutely flabbergasted that the school system seems completely uninterested in even the remotest possibility that they are paying a person to work with children who may need more oversight, correction, or help.
When people called our business to complain about anything our employees had done wrong, Tripp and I were always grateful. We wanted to know that our employees were doing a good job and representing our company well. We started from the assumption that the customer was right. After all, they had taken the time to let us know rather than just becoming bitter and badmouthing our company.
Tripp felt strongly that it was his responsibility as an employer to make sure that any mistake was recognized and allowed to become a learning opportunity. Was it a one-time mistake or an ongoing pattern? Did it reveal deeper problems? Tripp actually successfully intervened to get a couple of our employees off drugs and even once to save a marriage.
With that kind of background, I just can’t believe the attitude of school personnel in circling the wagons to defend indefensible behavior in a teacher. I can’t believe the absolute ignoring of written communication begging for help and intervention.
As I said, as I cleaned up the messes in my other kids’ educations, Daniel had waited on the back burner. I would have just ridden out this year as he is scheduled to transition to middle school next year. But it became so obvious that the Teacher I Thank God for Every Day was not willing to cooperate that I demanded a new case manager (so far, case manager has equaled teacher in our experience). As regular readers here know, Daniel was out of school for a while, but once a new case manager was assigned, I sent him back.
So today we meet to pick up the pieces. Some of the people there – who were too busy defending the teacher and the status quo to even entertain the idea that I might be at least a little right – probably think of me as the Mother from Hell. In some ways, it is like walking into the Lions’ Den.
Which is why I have asked two advocates to come with me – just for accountability.
Interestingly, I will be the only one there not on the payroll. I am not getting paid to oversee Daniel’s education, but some people are getting paid with my tax dollars to stonewall and obstruct the help he needs.
Often forgotten in all this is the very real little boy who gets on the bus every day to spend six hours with people paid to help him reach his potential. At the heart of it all is Daniel, who in this clash of adult wills is the one in danger of losing.
Posted in Disabilities, Down syndrome, Family, Inclusion, Loudoun County, Public schools, Special education | Permalink
Comments
I really appreciate you writing about this. My daughter is three and is having the "decision" meeting at the end of February where the school will tell me if she qualifies for services. I found out rather accidentally (because I wasn't given the Parents Rights Handbook I didn't know existed before the aforementioned verbal accident) that at this meeting, if my child is approved for services, her IEP will be written and that will be our last meeting. I will not be given time to then go learn about the IEP process as I thought I would have time to do once she was considered qualified. I didn't want to have to learn about a whole new world if my daughter didn't qualify before I knew if she qualified. But, as a friend that teaches special education pointed out, I need to know what the IDEA law says and how it applies to my daughter and her rights to the most appropriate education before they tell me whether or not she qualifies so that I know that my daughter's rights have not been violated by their reasoning if she isn't qualified. I hope that made sense. :) My problem right now is understanding my daughter's rights in regards to preschool since preschool isn't mandated here. I've been reading a lot on Wright's Law and am taking a workshop in a few weeks to learn more about the IEP process, writing specific, measurable goals.
Thank you for documenting the process you're going through and the thoughts you're having and how it's all affecting Daniel!!
Posted by: Laura | January 15, 2008 11:25 AM
but some people are getting paid with my tax dollars to stonewall and obstruct the help he needs.
AMEN!
Good luck today. I'll be praying for all of you!
Shannon
Posted by: Shannon Best | January 15, 2008 11:29 AM
Go with God. You'll be in my prayers today. I hope reason prevails and Daniel's best interests are served.
Posted by: Maggie | January 15, 2008 11:33 AM
I'll be praying for you today.
"Trust always in your God, he does not lose battles" St.Josemaria Escriva
Love,
Liz in D.C.
Posted by: Liz in D.C. | January 15, 2008 1:44 PM
Barbara,
It is such a service to us as parents and to our children for you to write about your experiences. I have heard of two parents who would bring a lawyer with them if they felt things would get hairy. They seemed to get their needs met in a little more expedited fashion, although it did make for some strained relationships between the parents and staff. I had some issues immediately following our relocation and Will was getting short changed. It took a lot a phone calls and saber rattling, but I got Will the correct amount of services he requires by a staff that adore him.
Laura, Always remember you never have to sign the IEP if you have the least concern for anything in it. If you feel you need time to understand the process, than you take it, and let them know that you will sign it when you fully understand it. It is up to your school board to satisfy you, not the other way around. The school is ultimately responsible for unsigned IEPs. It is worth it to call an advocacy center near you for advice. I found the IEP at age 3 to be a great learning experience for me as Will's needs were basically drawn out by the therapists who had analyzed Will's abilities/needs. I inserted little paragraphs that I felt were important. By doing this, I think I will be better equipped when Will's needs become more complex. Good luck!
Posted by: Kelly | January 15, 2008 3:56 PM
