February 27, 2008 1:09 PM
Book on motherhood: your input needed
My friend Ann Stewart - a writer who lives a few miles from me - is writing a book called Preparing My Heart for Motherhood: A Shower of Wisdom to Treasure - following on the heels of her Preparing My Heart for Advent and Preparing My Heart for Lent.
I kinda like how Motherhood ranks up there with times for spiritual reflection - only it lasts so long!!!!
She is looking for input from you:
As a Mom, what has God taught you about motherhood that you wish you knew before you had kids?
You can respond here as a comment - which would be great because then we can all reflect on it - or respond to Ann's site: Preparing My Heart.
Painting by Charles Edward Wilson
Posted in Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Barbara and Ann,
I wish I had known my Catholic Faith in much greater depth. I wish I had known to offer up even small sacrifices for the conversion of sinners, thus uniting myself in Christ's redemptive suffering. I wish I had known that I am very selfish and proud and that whiny, uncooperative children need patience, food, sleep, quiet time, and love--not a spanking (me yelling at them) or loss of a toy, etc. I wish I had known not to turn my children into the enemy when they disappoint or fail to obey--but how to discipline (not punish, as I am wont to do) with love and mercy, and forgiveness. I wish I had known that Jesus is in EVERYone and when I choose to reject a person--especially my child because I am having a tantrum and don't feel loving or peaceful, that I am making His cross heavier and damaging my soul and my relationship with that child. Also, fertility is not a disease, but a blessing!
Thanks for letting me share!
God bless,
Jan H.
Posted by: Jan | February 27, 2008 2:27 PM
I wish I had understood that the greatest sacrifice a woman can give is to give over her life for her family.
St John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
I have come to understand that the greater love is not dying for others, but living for them. I have sacrificed my time, my body, my personal space, and even the very thoughts that go through my mind for my family. In so doing, I am sanctifying and consecrating myself for His purposes. I am not perfect, but this sacrifice has brought me closer to Jesus Christ and to God than I would have ever imagined.
Posted by: Emily C | February 27, 2008 2:59 PM
I wish I had known how much hard work it is to be a Mom 24/7. I knew I'd be tired at first. I didn't know that I'd still be tired 4 years later. I knew I'd have more laundry to do. I didn't know how hard it would be to find the time to get it done, not to mention put away. I knew my house would be a bit messier. I didn't know that just trying to keep up with the destruction that a small boy can do would push me to my limits of patience and how desperately and how often I'd have to draw on God's patience.
I knew that I'd love my small one an incredible amount, I didn't know that God would fill my heart with more love for him than I ever knew possible.
If I had known these things earlier, I would have appreciated my own mother far more than I did. It is only after being a mom that I'm starting to understand about the sacrifices of motherhood.
Posted by: Pam | February 27, 2008 3:09 PM
God opened my eyes, big time, to a judgmental spirit towards parents and their rearing (or lack thereof, in my previoUs lofty opinion) of their children. WOW!! Now I have so much more compassion for parents. Not that I still cannot recognize behaviors or attitudes that may not be conducive for healthy childrearing, but I'm much more prone now to pray for those parents than sneer at them from my high horse. This has truly been brought home to me in the area of temper tantrums. I would previously roll my eyes and wonder "why weren't those folks doing their job of keeping their kids in line!" Well! Let me just tell you that my now 2 3/4 year old has tantrums down to a science - and many of them in public. I just look to the heavens and say "I hear You, Lord. I hear You loud and clear."
Posted by: Libby | February 27, 2008 4:32 PM
Obviously, there are hundreds of lessons I've learned from motherhood. The main one that stands out to me is that life moves in seasons. That sounds like an obvious truth, but as a new mother I couldn't wait for the little ones to get bigger, I couldn't wait to be finished with the potty training phase, I was eager to be rid of all the stages. I was in a hurry to get it over with so I could get on with my life. Over the years I've learned this IS my life. I've learned the phases that seem so hard are over in a flash. I've learned to breathe deeply and enjoy this season and know that in a few short years my life will look totally different than it does now. That realization has freed me to enjoy my children for who they are right now.
Posted by: Kristin | February 28, 2008 9:11 AM
I look at the beautiful picture you have up there, and it reminds me of how I thought motherhood would be...scenes of me looking on as my baby slept in its heirloom cradle. My hair would be in place, as that woman's is. In real life, the baby was mostly in my arms, I usually had a little baby spit-up on my shirt, and although there were many lovely warm moments as a mother, they were seldom "picture perfect."
I did not know the extent to which I would bond not only with my children, but with all mothers everywhere. My heart became much bigger, wider. My love for the whole world grew as I saw so many mothers, so many children--and realized they felt the same feelings as I felt. A mother's pain gripped me when I read about a sick or dying child. A mother's pride and joy leaped in my heart as I heard about any child anywhere overcoming adversity.
I did not know that when I set out to have babies, I was on course to have adult children. I did not know that en route to raising adult children, I would end up with fewer concrete ideas about how to be a good parent than I started with!
I agree with the poster who spoke of motherhood seasons. It's really true. In the young years, the days are long, but the years are short. As I wished the time away during a hard season, I did not realize that you never get those moments back.
"I was in a hurry to get it over with so I could get on with my life. Over the years I've learned this IS my life." I look at the beautiful picture you have up there, and it reminds me of how I thought motherhood would be...scenes of me looking on as my baby slept in its heirloom cradle. My hair would be in place, as that woman's is. In real life, the baby was mostly in my arms, I usually had a little baby spit-up on my shirt, and although there were many lovely warm moments as a mother, they were seldom "picture perfect."
I did not know the extent to which I would bond not only with my children, but with all mothers everywhere. My heart became much bigger, wider. My love for the whole world grew as I saw so many mothers, so many children--and realized they felt the same feelings as I felt. A mother's pain gripped me when I read about a sick or dying child. A mother's pride and joy leaped in my heart as I heard about any child anywhere overcoming adversity.
I did not know that when I set out to have babies, I was on course to have adult children. I did not know that en route to raising adult children, I would end up with fewer concrete ideas about how to be a good parent than I started with!
I agree with the poster who spoke of motherhood seasons. It's really true. In the young years, the days are long, but the years are short. As I wished the time away during a hard season, I did not realize that you never get those moments back.
"I was in a hurry to get it over with so I could get on with my life. Over the years I've learned this IS my life."
This IS my life. Being the parent of adult children, there's still a lot of parenting to do--and it is our joy to be involved in our children's lives, to see them involved in each others' lives, too.
There is something about abandoning one's self to the process of motherhood--plunging into it as a true vocation instead of fighting it, that causes good things to grow in your soul. I think all good mothers come to that sooner or later. But the sooner you realize it, the more peaceful the process, I think.
Posted by: Kathy | February 28, 2008 11:02 PM
