February 21, 2008 11:28 PM
Humor: Evolution of a Mom
The following appeared in the February 1998 issue of Parenting.
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:The Evolution of Mom
Your Clothes 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Mavis? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette 1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.Pacifier -1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
-2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
-3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.Diapering -1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
-2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
-3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Feel free to add more!
Posted in Humor, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Too funny and so true!
Posted by: Barb | February 22, 2008 9:19 AM
Funny, Barbara! Our 7th hardly knows how to entertain herself because every time she whimpers a brother or sister rushes to pick her up!
Here is my addition:
1st baby: You have every large contraption on the market to keep baby entertained. You invest lots of money in "D" batteries.
2nd baby: You dig the baby swing out of the garage. When the batteries wear out, you store it again.
3rd baby: Swing? What swing? Just nudge the carseat with your foot to rock it. The baby loves that!
Posted by: Smockity Frocks | February 22, 2008 12:24 PM
That little ditty is one I think of and laugh at often! Especially the "hiding from the children" part. :)
Here's one that is usually part of the list too:
1st baby: When the baby swallows a quarter, you rush him to the ER and anxiously await the results of the x-ray.
2nd baby: You patiently wait for the quarter to pass.
3rd baby: You take it out of his allowance.
Posted by: Stretch Mark Mama | February 22, 2008 2:13 PM
Hello there! found your blog through marriage mondays and i'm glad I did! You have great contents in your blog esp. about kids. I have a daughter who's turning 4 years old.
Anyways, I enjoyed this post so much that I ended up laughing by myself because it's just so true! Can I ask your permission to repost this in my blog and link your blog with it? :)
God bless!
Posted by: Lalaine | February 22, 2008 2:33 PM
That is so true! I especially the part about the Clothes.
Posted by: baby girl | February 23, 2008 4:23 AM
1st Baby: Dropped food goes in the trash
2nd Baby: Implement 5 second rule
3rd Baby: If it's non-dairy and not stuck to the floor it's fair game.
Posted by: Lexie | February 23, 2008 11:54 PM
Trying not to laugh too hard or I'll have to go to the bathroom again! I'm in week 34, almost 35 of pregnancy #4. I'm so surprised that even after three cookie cutter (although not simple) pregnancies...this one is totally different!
Baby 1: The crib is outfitted with perfectly coordinated sheets and accessories to match the rest of the nursery.
Baby 2: The stained sheets and comforter have been replaced with hand me downs from friends who did not have babies with reflux.
Baby 3: Crib? Too much work to get up throughout the night. Baby sleeps in bed with you until old enough to move into bottom bunk of sibling's bunkbed!
Posted by: Ceci | February 24, 2008 9:05 PM
