February 1, 2008 11:57 AM
Struggling with homework - and it's only first grade
I am sharing part of a lengthy email I received because I think answering it together may be of help to Shauna and to other readers here:
Good Morning, Barbara,It's been about six months since I e-mailed you . . . I would like to pick your brain on a problem that I have really been struggling with right now. I have been anxious about helping my twins with their homework. I know this sounds silly, but I become so frustrated because they will know something and just are not committed to learning it. I know that lack of focus is something they both struggle with and they are very young first graders (their birthday is only two weeks before the cut-off for the state of Kansas). I just want them to love learning, particularly reading, as much as I do and I definitely don't want to be turned off from learning so young. I feel like somewhere along the line I've taken the fun out of learning and now I'm not sure how to get that back. Last night in my frustration I told my husband to come take over
because I'd have enough. My son started to cry because all he heard was that I had had enough of him. That was so far from the truth, but I blew it and immediately sat back down and comforted him and apologized for my words. I did not want to hurt him, it's just can get very frustrating.Thanks,
Shauna (mother of four, some with special needs)
Hi Shauna -Thanks for writing and for the picture which I will print out and put on my Inspiration Board! So cool!
It sounds like you are in a stage of motherhood that can be pretty overwhelming. When I am there, I just keep reminding myself what Elisabeth Elliot says - Do the next thing.
It is not going to be perfect. Family life is messy and unpredictable.
I think a large part of the struggle is that your children started school so early - when their birthdays are so close to the cutoff date. When my first children were young, I was always in a hurry to push them forward. Now I think that it is better to hold them back until the following year as that gives them an advantage. You might want to consider having them repeat fiorst grade as it will give them a firmer foundation and being among the oldest in the class in the future will give them a big advantage. Pray about it and see if God is nudging you in that direction. If you decide this is best, don't let the school talk you out of it - insist on what you think will be best for your children, not for the convenience of the school system.
You might also want to consider homeschooling them the first two or three years. I know that can seem formidable at first, but as someone who's homeschooled as well as used public and private education, I can tell you that in many ways it's more stressful to have your kids in school. When I homeschooled during the early grades, we got our curriculum done in less than 10 hours per week, leaving lots of free time - which kids desperately need.
I continue to be amazed that kids bring homework home - it makes me wonder what in the world they're doing at school. And I think it creates a false compartmentalization in their minds - teacher is teacher and mom is mom, so why is mom trying to do schoolwork with me?
Homeschooling in the early years means a better reading foundation, as nothing beats learning to read from your mom. Really. And for any child with the slightest problem, there will always be the risk of slipping through the cracks in a classroom. I once - while homeschooling my own kids - took in my pastor's daughter for second grade because she still wasn't reading. That year in a smaller, more intimate setting caught her up completely and she went on to be successful the next year in school.
Remember, homeschooling doesn't have to be approached as a now-and-forever commitment, but can simply be a year-at-a-time decision.
I will post parts of your post for more input from readers.
Readers, any encouragement, experience or advice?
Posted in Homeschooling, Mothering, Public schools | Permalink
Comments
Barbara, you took some of the words out of my mouth about homeschooling! Well said. I am a mom of 3, soon to be 4. I am h.schooling my oldest, who is also in 1st grade. He is doing beautifully. I must admit, starting out in kindergarten scared me at first until I realized how easy and flexible it can be. You really can tailor your teaching to the needs of the child. Move faster if needed, slow down when needed. I think it is so good for the self esteem of young children. I remember hating math and falling behind in the 1st grade. It was only the beginning of problems and self esteem issues that followed me to college. As a homeschooler, I teach the same concept in different ways until he " gets it". It's beautiful, although sometimes I need extra patience from the Lord. Barbara is so right, you can do it in very little time at this age. My son even starts his work before I wake up in the morning. Christian homeschoolers also have a wide variety of curriculum to pick from, which makes it even more exciting. I would highly encourage this mom to look into a man named Dr. Raymond Moore, he was the founder of homeschooling, and wrote a book called: " Better Late Than Early". His research and background really do back up his points........and I would encourage this mom to let the kids slow down whether she decides to h.school or not.:) Best wishes, and do keep us posted!
Posted by: Lisa | February 1, 2008 5:14 PM
Why does a first grader have homework? If I were a 6-year-old, I would balk at having to spend all that time in school and then have to do more schoolwork when I got home as well.
I doubt her six year olds lack focus. They simply are tired of focusing after 6-7 hours at school and then expected to focus some more at home.
Posted by: Amy K. | February 1, 2008 7:56 PM
I switched my K child to a Montessori school and I was so relieved to not have homework anymore. He took forever to do it and it took up valuable playing and unwinding time that he needed. I just don't understand what goes on at school all day that homework would be necessary for early elementary grades.
We have also decided to switch to homeschooling for our 5 year old. My son has an audio processing disorder and other learning delays so it became evident that he just wasn't ready for a full-day of school.
Posted by: paigeu | February 2, 2008 8:44 AM
My son is in first grade and has homework, too (he's in a charter school). It drives me nuts! I agree with other commenters that I don't know what they are doing at school that he needs to bring work home. And he's in school for over seven hours!
Anyhoo, I don't know how your school does it, but my son's school sends home a packet every Friday for the next week. We try to do the whole thing over the weekend so his evenings are free and all we have to do is read out loud. I find he does so much better this way because he's not over-stimulated from a day at school and is both more excited about doing his work and he does it better and with less help.
I would suggest talking to the teacher if the homework seems overwhelming. Maybe she can give the work for the next week to do over the weekend. Maybe having your husband help is the answer. My husband usually does math with my son because he's the "math guy." If you otherwise like your kids' school, it's worth talking to the teacher. If not, I'd consider homeschooling. It's always an option in the back of my mind, that's for sure. I know that it's a distinct possibility that I will homeschool my daughter because she's much more high-strung and active than my son. I don't know how she'll handle a full school day plus homework.
God bless and I do pray that God gives you wisdom about how to best help your children.
Posted by: Lucy | February 2, 2008 11:26 PM
